This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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Cynical Evil World Dominating Masterminds Contest!
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Hmmmmm......what WOULD I do?....I'd make an alliance with Saudi Arabia for an endless oil supply. Of course I'm paying them. Using the oil, I would set fire to Iceland, leaving evidence that the US did it. I would turn ALL the continents/countries against one another and when it gets to it's worse, I will become the peacemake and stop the fighting. I'll make allies with all states and secretly hack into their major military forces for control. Ruling their tanks and artillery, I will be unstoppeable! I will gather an army for the first country I demolish and go to war, only supplyingthe best of fighters at my side. It will take a long time but I WILL do it!!!
And then I will kill all the rulers of the continents. ^-^ So I will be the ruler...and then I'll buy whatever the hell I want with my wealth. And end global warming.
Will you be enacting your reign of terror before or after you turn 18?
Food. Everyone assumes energy is the foundation of power. This is off the mark. Food is the source of civilization. Without plentiful food there is no chance of a civilization to exist or to advance.My plan is simple genetic engineered locust, increased birth rate, and chemical resistant:
Instead of a long incubation period they would strike every year for 5 years. After 5 years their programmed genetic “flaw” would cause them to die off. At the 5 year mark I would release a second strain locust. Complemented with a two year cycle. With a global food crisis well underway, populations weary I would start my propaganda campaign.
Something along the lines of:
Your leaders have left you to suffer starvation and economic hardships; doing nothing to ease your troubles or help you feed your families.
Who has helped you today?
Whats for lunch?
The key to a solid propaganda campaign is vague accusations, decidedly pointing the finger to anyone in power, constant repetitions.
This plan only works if there is a “promised land” A place where “the leader” has saved the people, and has engineered a successful system to combat the Locust plague, and feed the people.
Enlist the help of some insiders to spout religious dogma to gain support from religious groups, and bring them over to do the “dirty” work.
Controlling the food supply means I can charge whatever I want, grain to the highest bidder… sometimes, more likely the supply would go to someone (government) that was supportive of my policies. Of course the moneys gained from sales would go to supporting my ever growing “supply security” force.
Once considerable lift is present under my wings, I will attack governments that have resisted conforming to my will. Publicly this will be to liberate them from “un-caring” dictators. Anytime I need a boost, or if people start to forget who is feeding them, I will release another locust attack. Eventually I will control enough where open military action can be used to seal the deal.
Dissenters are not a concern of mine. They will simply starve to death. If they starve in silence they will be left to their own end. If they are noisy about it however…
It clearly states on the home page that this is 18+. I congratulate you for "keeping it real", Mumbles.
Please, Marie... are you serious?
"Anytime I need a boost, or if people start to forget who is feeding them, I will release another locust attack."
I'm at work.
On Labor day.
Damn you Nick for making me smile!
I'm at work.
On Labor day.
Damn you Nick for making me smile!
Nope Steve reserves the right to blast away. Marie, I don't believe in the coddling of children. They need a good dose of constructive criticism.
Well Mumbles, I am at work as well. I know evil intelligence when I see it. There is a nice comfy office waiting for you in the Ministry of Consumption. Join the winning team Mumbles and you won't have to work but 3 days a week; every week.
Slave laborer, and you are jumping on Steve for burning someone that isn't even suppose to be here... Pfft.
Marie:
"way to make everyone feel welcome here."
Sorry? I didn't know that I'd been nominated 'apple faced greeter of the haters club'.
"admit Steve - that was BAD"
It's true, I feel absolutely sick about the fact that that laid into that little self-centered, self-righteous douche bag. I'm totally throwing an extensive apology to her onto my 'to-do' list.
Once she's of legal age.
"way to make everyone feel welcome here."
Sorry? I didn't know that I'd been nominated 'apple faced greeter of the haters club'.
"admit Steve - that was BAD"
It's true, I feel absolutely sick about the fact that that laid into that little self-centered, self-righteous douche bag. I'm totally throwing an extensive apology to her onto my 'to-do' list.
Once she's of legal age.
I am pretty disappointed in the lack of participation with this thread... After all the people suggesting their aim at world domination and this is all the participation. SAD!
A true Evil Mastermind never reveals his plans. Amateurs.
So where is your plan then, Dave?
It occurs to me Ali's plan all along was get you guys to reveal your plans so she could thwart them and thus have an open field. Nice try, but you can't outsmart me.
I don't think Ali, you or anyone else here could produce my Locust... And besides you leave out the really good parts, you just give the main gist.
Face it, Dave, your icecream fatty world idea is a flop.
I know that Alfonso is working on his plan.
I don't think promoting mass masturbation would be a plausible plan either.
Dave, I don't want to seem mean but it appears you might be confusing the pragmatic & entertainment levels of plots for World Domination.
Allow me to clarify, you're going to steal my idea? Please do. I'll be expecting my battery shipment shortly. If you can't appreciate the hilarity of kicking back with a beer in the comfy office while watching the multitudes starving to death? Maybe you're not cut out for this sort of thing.
You don't want to tell us your plan for Global Domination out of fear that we're going to 'steal your cooooool idea'? Is your biggest error. Most villians don't fail because their idea was discovered. They fail because they only had one.
Any good plan prepares for contingencies, Dave.
Allow me to clarify, you're going to steal my idea? Please do. I'll be expecting my battery shipment shortly. If you can't appreciate the hilarity of kicking back with a beer in the comfy office while watching the multitudes starving to death? Maybe you're not cut out for this sort of thing.
You don't want to tell us your plan for Global Domination out of fear that we're going to 'steal your cooooool idea'? Is your biggest error. Most villians don't fail because their idea was discovered. They fail because they only had one.
Any good plan prepares for contingencies, Dave.
I think long before being faced with starvation, locusts begin to look very tasty...nanobots are the way forward
Yes, but my locusts are also disease infested. Eat up scumbag.
my nanobots will turn your locusts to grey goo(shakes fist)
p.s. how did you know what my brother's pet name for me is?
My locusts have all sorts of capabilities. There are no secrets. They know all, And so do I by proxy.
do they know a word that's a bit like booby-trap?i guess not
Grrr... No they don't. I had to liquidate that batch.
Again amateurs…Steve, make people see you as their savior??? C’mon looks like somebody is desperate for attention…
Nick, insects??? Who are you Montambo???? I agree with whoever the hell said they become food… that’s too damn easy man!
Evilnick, nanobots?? HA! My EMPs will crush your little silicone toys…
Here a real plan:
First get a job on a real evil corporation (we all know who really controls this world)… one who fiends on the most basic human need of them all (the need to feed) and is willing to exploit it…. then when you get to the top you expand your business to china, now here is the tricky part you need to diversify and get your hands on the Chinese war machine… but Alfonso why the Chinese you may ask?? I have only one thing to say about it… quantity contrary to the public believes is better than quality… the human resources, the natural resources, the man power, and the evilness of the Chinese people has no rival… they got what I need and they got plenty of it… after you gain control over the Chinese war machine keep expanding and take control over their economic system…. Now this part is even trickier than the other ones… you already have your money making machine, your war machine, and you have political and economic control over one of the most powerful nations of the world… what’s next?? That’s quite simple my friend’s complete and absolute destruction of the economic systems of the other super powers… (For security reasons I will not disclose the meanings that I shall used to accomplish this….) now you have a world in chaos… and you sitting there with this army all bored… you wonder what to do, what to do??? I have an answer for you world fucking domination that’s what! While the rest of the world is trying to figure out what the fuck happened and where did all the money go… you go berserk on the mother fuckers!! You unleash years of frustration and just take over by force! Make war fast and harsh, annihilate all of your enemies and don’t stop till you have control over every single human soul…
For those of you who think this seen like a long term plan… you are right… only a person who takes his world domination plans as a joke will think of something simple… world domination takes time and effort and real evil…
Ok, so that was my slow calculated plan.Now it is time for the fast’n’nasty.
Inform Alfonso that someone has kidnapped his special sock. The said culprit lives at such’n such address. When Alfonso looses his mind and races to said location he learns that “Rosy” has been kidnapped by someone who lives in the Whitehouse! Oh no! Stopping momentarily to think about his options Alfonso decides the best way to save his “girl” and his sex life; is to storm the Whitehouse pull some Taco Fu out of his ass, rendering the Secret Service un-conscious. Once those pesky gun tote’n fools are out of the way I sneak in grab the “football” and launch. Everyone in the world shits themselves simultaneously causing sewers world wide to rupture and expel methane and fecal matter everywhere. Once the sewers rupture, I disable the nukes and launch B-52 bombers loaded to the gills with napalm. The ensuing inferno will consume most of the industrialized world. The rest is a simple clean-up operation.
Sure the world would be in shambles, but all the better to build a better future. Once the world is in my control... Rosy is going to get it... and not in the tender Alfonso way either ;)
I will love to see how the hell you going to put your amateur evil hands on my “things more important than my own penis” shelve in order to gain access to my inanimate lover??? I hope you know that you going to have to get thru my security system… code name AT FIELD if you don’t know what that is Google it!
Yeah, I know what an AT field is Albozo. And I am not terrorized by it at all. What you fail to realize is this, I have long sense replaced your special socky with a decoy. I am not proud of the acts that I had to commit making sure that the imposter sock passed your attentive inspection, but I will tell you this, judging by the condition the real sock was in I had to enlist the help of the N.Y. Giants to replicate the amount of DNA I found on that crusty sad sock.
Guahahah I guess now it will be a bad time to inform you of my decoy shelve… a lot of people have try what you just said… that’s why I installed a fake shelve for the ones like you… they take the decoy and leave another decoy thinking that they got the real deal but they only taking whatever the hell the one before them left… I don’t like wasting my resources on such simplistic theft attempts =)
I wonder what women think of world domination??? I mean we males own over 90% of the world right??? Don’t that make em mad?
P.S. I keep reading Dominican master minds….
If I voted 'world domination', why would I tell you my plans?For all you know, I've already succeeded. Yeah, that was me.
Lisa: Just because you don’t have a plan… We already had this discussion further up the thread.Alfonso: I have violated every molecule in your world; it is a truth that I didn’t know what crusty DNA soaked sock was your “girl” so I took them all. That is why I needed the N.Y. Giants. Who do you think I am? Dave? I’m a professional.
See Alfonso is staying quiet even though he is here lurking around THC. This tells me that he is franticly inspecting his imposter Rosy. Tears running down his face... yeah, he has found my calling card. BAM! You lose dude. Come back when you have a few years of real evil experience. I would not object to taking you under my wing... I must insist you leave that filthy sock behind though.
Ermmm… I was getting lost trying to locate the only place that I could find that sells canoli’s shells…. And after that I was making the kiwi/raspberry filling for em!! I was not lurking… and dude still no message for you on my suck… but check the one you got… I left you a present…. I’m out to deliver the canolis!!!
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I strongly disagree.
If Global Domination was my idea, I'd actually go through the concept of dependence. Where it's not so much that I've forced the template of my will upon the planet, it's more along the lines of the world acceding to my wishes because it's in their best interest.
How is this done? The easiest way would be the solving of the energy crisis. If we take Heinlein's idea of the 'sunstone' a miniature battery that's capable of powering everything from your house to a photon weapon, the path is pretty clear. Keep the secrets of manufacture silent, and from there it's a pretty simple game of power & influence (as any good leader knows, why go to war when someone else is willing to do it for you?
What am I going to do with my power & wealth? Really, whatever the f*ck I want. That's the point isn't it?
Dissenters? Are as irrelevant to my plan as whether or not you vote for me.
Cheers!