Book Buying Addicts Anonymous discussion
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Returning books...why I can't do it.
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I have a friend that hasn't returned a book that I gave her like a year ago--thanks for reminding me!And I din't know people actually were like this...wow. I would just buy a book from now on if I were you.
I think it took courage to admit this problem-I admire you.You probably would save $$ (& friends) if you tried to stick to buying books-think you can?
Perhaps, instead of borrowing from friends or from libraries, you could perhaps buy them cheaper at used bookstores or even online? If you see a book you want to own, go look for it on Amazon or somewhere else. It'll help you save your reputation at the library and not take your friends' books.
In the interest of protecting my friendships, I give all of my friends a disclaimer: Loan this to me only if you don't want it back. That usually works, and the honesty is endearing apparently.Seriously, this is an extreme form of bibliomania!
i got pissed at a friend for not returning books borrowed from a library on my card account. to me, that is like theft twice. Sorry! needless to say the friendship is over!
Sonya wrote: "i got pissed at a friend for not returning books borrowed from a library on my card account. to me, that is like theft twice. Sorry! needless to say the friendship is over!"
I got into serious trouble with my library when I was a teenager over something similar! During my final year of school, my history teacher took the whole class out to the library to get books to help us on a world history project we were doing for our leaving cert. I was forced by my teacher to let another girl (one I didn't even know very well) get books on my library card because she didn't have one. The girl never returned the books and the library kept sending me out reminders, started phoning my house, then the library send me out a bill for £80 to replace the books. The girl said she'd lost the books and refused to hand over any money to pay for them. I had to tell my parents then and they went down to talk to my teacher & principal. It turned out the same thing had happened to a few other girls that were forced to get books out for other students too. After a long argument, the teacher said she would pay for the books but she never did. My name is STILL blacklisted by Dublin City library system to this day and I have to use my sister's card whenever I want to borrow books.
Ellie wrote: "Sonya wrote: "i got pissed at a friend for not returning books borrowed from a library on my card account. to me, that is like theft twice. Sorry! needless to say the friendship is over!"
I ..."
Now THAT would piss me off. That's so stupid. If you lose the books, you should have to pay for them.
sigh.... reminds me of my three years at University... at the end of the three years I owed the library about £200 in fines, which I had to pay back or they wouldn't give me my degree.... although... it would have cost me more to buy the books...I always give books back to friends. I keep them in a separate pile with a note in of who they belong to so I don't forget. I also read them as a priority so they get them back in good time. Because I fret over my books when they are away.
I never lend anyone my books, I just tell friends or family where they can buy their own copies cheap if they want to read one I've recommended.
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Wow, I'm not the only one~!!!I have over 10 books(? maybe) that I've borrowed from friends over the past 4-5 years that I still have and am nowhere near ready to start reading or finished and so has stayed in my book shelf untouched. (One in particular is my Japanese teachers book that I've had for 6 years now, this is my last year so maybe I should return it...)
It's horrible and I should return it to them, but they've either long forgotten or just don't care and its mean of me, because I never ever lend books to them (maybe only 2 people, but I trust them the most with books so...), but yeah...
As for Libraries I haven't been to one in nearly 2 years, I've read all the books of interest in my neighbourhood library 4 years ago and the really big one is to far. Same applies for the school library I've read all the books of interest and they never buy books that are good or interesting.
I've avoided getting a library card as an adult for just this reason. In jr high my parents were sent a bill from our local library for several hundred dollars in overdue fines on 2 or 3 books. My allowance went to replacing the books Later in high school I volunteered shelving books and cleaning to work off my constant overdue fines (even though I was there twice a week). I'm pretty sure that only works in small towns where you've known the librarian for years.
Holly wrote: "I just stumbled on this fantastic group...tailor-made just for me!
Here's my problem. Not only do I buy more books than I can read, I am perfectly incapable of returning them to friends and lib..."
I don't borrow or lend, but our book tastes are separated at birth, LOL. Nice to see you here on GR -- hope you have lots of fun!
Here's my problem. Not only do I buy more books than I can read, I am perfectly incapable of returning them to friends and lib..."
I don't borrow or lend, but our book tastes are separated at birth, LOL. Nice to see you here on GR -- hope you have lots of fun!
I will say that I've learned the hard way to stop lending my friends books. Some take years to find their way home. Some still haven't and I won't say they are forgotten or that I don't care it's just that I don't feel I should have to ask for my stuff back in the first place and when I finally break down and do ask I shouldn't have to ask several times. But like I said I've learned the hard way and I'm out of the lending business..... unless it's on kindle (and only because I get those back in 14 days weather your done or not)
The last book I loaned someone I ended up giving to them. The person, after a few months, said she had just "found" my book and did I want it back. I'll never understand why she asked if I wanted the book I loaded her back but decided since she hadn't brought the book to work with her and had actually asked me if I wanted it back that it was simplier just to give her the book. I had the feeling I was going to be asked the same question again in a few months!
Ugh, I have huge fines at the library. I'm avoiding it at the moment, haha.I'm fine giving people their books back that they lend me, I make them a priority read so they get finished quickly, but for some reason library books have a hard time finding their way home...
I also dont usually borrow or loan to friends. There has been a rare exception but if I didnt get my book back they would no longer be my friend. Would you believe my husband was offering to loan my books to his niece? I corrected that real fast. Welcome to goodreads.
Glad you put your husband straight Tammy!
'Aussie Rick' wrote: "Glad you put your husband straight Tammy!"
It wasnt as bad as it sounded but if you saw how she takes care of things...I guess another topic would be returning books in good condition
It wasnt as bad as it sounded but if you saw how she takes care of things...I guess another topic would be returning books in good condition
Holly wrote: "I just stumbled on this fantastic group...tailor-made just for me!Here's my problem. Not only do I buy more books than I can read, I am perfectly incapable of returning them to friends and lib..."
I completely understand. I stopped borrowing from the library when I got my first job, because I could now afford to buy my own books and not have to ever worry about turning them in. I was really bad for turning them in a month later.
I love libraries and know that when I pass, my entire collection will get donated... maybe it will make up for all those previous fines when I was a kid! :D
I loaned a book to a friend that took me over a year to get back, with several reminders. Wasn't fun. It was a book that was hard to find, so definetly wanted it back.
I lost quite a few books that way and now I only loan to friends that I know I will get them back from. That's only 2 friends I lend them too, the others I just say no or say someone else is borrowing it.
If I read a book that I really like, but don't think I'll read again, I actually LOOK for someone to pass it along to, on the condition that they pass it along to someone else if they like it! I have waaaayy too many books because I shop at book fairs, friends-of-the-library sales, flea markets, even Goodwill stores. I also buy from Powells, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and a little bookstore in our town that's been there since I was a child. I buy anywhere from 3-10 new or used books almost every single month. If I didn't find homes for many of them there'd be no room in my house for anything else! I patronize the library occasionally, but usually don't borrow too many books at one time because I don't like having constraints on how long I keep a book. Yeah, I know - go figure.Generally there are a few books that I end up not reading or not finishing, because they just don't sit well or end up not appealing to me. It's funny how many times this has happened and I take those books to my Mom, or my sister, and they LOVE them.
There are books I would never lend or give away because of sentimental value, such as my childhood copy of Wind in the Willows. But otherwise, I frequently just give books away. I figure, if it's okay to lend, it's better to just give. That way I'm never disappointed because someone didn't bring it back.
I didn't invent this, btw - a beloved teacher suggested it in elementary school, and I've never regretted following her advice. Books can make friends out of mere acquaintances - and you always have something to talk about!
Ellie wrote: "Sonya wrote: "i got pissed at a friend for not returning books borrowed from a library on my card account. to me, that is like theft twice. Sorry! needless to say the friendship is over!"
I got ..."
Wow, that's bad Ellie! Is there any legal action that could be taken against those people? It's fraud! I know, I know, it's not like were talking about millions, but still, it's the principle that counts!
Joseph wrote: "I hate lending to others as well as borrowing from other people. If a person wants to borrow a book of mine, I direct them to the public library. Let the public library deal with late fines or re..."I'm exactly the same. I refer people to libraries or cheap bookstores (online or real ones). I've lost too many books to people over the years (simply because we loose touch) and now I refuse to lend books out (same goes for dvds), except on the rare case where I know the person well enough and can trust it's return.
Johanness wrote: "Wow, I'm not the only one~!!!I have over 10 books(? maybe) that I've borrowed from friends over the past 4-5 years that I still have and am nowhere near ready to start reading or finished and so h..."
Trust me, if people care about there books they will not forget that they lent them to you. They are probably being too polite to mentioning it to you - or think that it's "petty" to mention it to you.
I don't lend mine at all!! I don't tell people that though!! I just make excuses such as 'so and so is borrowing at the moment' LOL
Angel wrote: "I don't lend mine at all!! I don't tell people that though!! I just make excuses such as 'so and so is borrowing at the moment' LOL"I do the same!!!!!
I plead guilty; I had to move quite recently and found a selection of books that I had borrowed from one particular friend over a five year period. I had read one of them but not touched the rest. I regret that once a book comes within my sphere of influence I regard it as mine (audiocue the seagulls in Finding Nemo). Fortunately my friend is tolerant of this peccadillo and equally bad - she has as many of mine unreturned. Polonius had it right, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be...." (Hamlet Act1, scene3, lines 75-77). I can understand the distress that this causes particularly as my step-brother LOST my first volume of Thomas Covenant after I loaned it to him (he is only breathing because he emigrated to Australia) and I appreciate that many people will, understandably, see this as the height of incivility, rudeness and selfishness. To all those who have suffered at my hand I can only apologise.
Why make exuses for not borrowing books to people? I don't. I usally tell it like it is: lost too many books in the past to people that never return them, so no more lending - I'm not the public library after all.
i'm afraid of my books being lost, too. or not returned
Rita wrote: "Why make exuses for not borrowing books to people? I don't. I usally tell it like it is: lost too many books in the past to people that never return them, so no more lending - I'm not the public li..."That is a perfectly fair answer. In spite of my bad habit regarding the borrowing of books I am loath to lend. I accept, too, that this is hypocrisy of the first order.
Rita wrote: "Why make exuses for not borrowing books to people? I don't. I usally tell it like it is: lost too many books in the past to people that never return them, so no more lending - I'm not the public li..."I have to unfortunately, as my family and friends would be incredibly offended at me, and would take it as a personal insult :(
I always return books to friends....libraries, no. :/ I also rarely lend books that often. Most people don't ask. My best friend and I trade out all the time.
I don't often borrow books from people but usually am prompt with returning to the library - though a few years ago I had a period where I kept racking up small fines through forgetting when I had to return them.Much easier now the local library has online access as I can check the return dates there and renew online if no-one's reserved it. I am a bit of a repeat renewer and one book I have now I've renewed about three times, but I don't really get fines any more. I tend to put the return dates in my ipod touch's calendar too so I get reminders as the date approaches.
I don't often lend books to others, but most of my friends are not really readers anyway. I offer loans to my parents and brother sometimes but like me they usually would rather pick up their own copy. There are some I'd never lend though, certainly not my old nature books, they're too precious to me.
Here's my problem. Not only do I buy more books than I can read, I am perfectly incapable of returning them to friends and libraries. You should see the fines I rack up at the library. It's not good, it's not right, but it's a sickness.
Newish here to Goodreads. Would really love to connect with folks--especially anyone who loves science, history and historical mysteries. Favorite authors: Deborah Blum, Mary Roach.