This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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I hate everything that isn't smoking.
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message 1:
by
Not Bill
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Aug 19, 2008 02:52PM
ahhhhhhh. I received a La Gloria Cubana for my birthday. I hear ya Sarah. Smoking that cigar was practically sex. Long, leisurely, smokin' haut sex. (...and I will seriously maim the first person out of the chute with a Clinton joke)
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Oh, I think I shall smoke now! Djarum Light clove cigarettes. Though Djarum Blacks are better.The closeted waiter who works at my favorite bar (and who tried to have sex with me a few months ago) smokes Capri Menthol Lights. I found that out about 13 hours ago. I wonder if I was reading Sarah's thread comment in my mind while I was at the bar, and willed the universe to cause Dwight (closeted waiter) to smoke Capri Menthol Lights years ago, just so he could reveal to me LAST NIGHT the connection between my dear GR friend and him. Freaky Deaky (hee hee).
Not Bill, do you inhale cigars? (And NO that is not a Clinton joke, I swear!) I can't smoke cigars because I love to inhale. I think I'd puke if I inhaled a whole cigar.
You don't inhale cigars. You puff on them. Now tell us more about this closeted waiter who tried to have sex with you. Was he trying to prove he wasn't gay?
I know you're not supposed to inhale cigars, but that was my point! I'm an inhaler. (But I've NEVER cured anyone's asthma. I'm such a bitch.)No one discusses his gayness. Though I have heard rumors that he's sucked a few dicks in his day. You'd think that would clue him in. Anyway, one night we were at the bar talking about sex and then he said I should come over to his house so we can practice. I said, "sure!" thinking he was just joking. But then after we left the bar he texted me nine zillion times asking me to come over. I now pretend like that never happened. It's for the best.
Also, Dave, sorry for sounding smart assish and defensive. I hate that shit. Why do I need to get so defensive?
Amanda, I wasn't aware of any smart-assery or defensiveness, but then again I can be fairly oblivious. Sarah, I thought it was a logical question. Do I need to come to Portland to prove to you I'm not gay now?
Yeah, me too. I was thinking I might take a trip up the coast to Olympia stopping in the Bay area and Portland along the way. Maybe next Spring when I have money.
How else is Dave gonna prove he's not gay?Alternatively (am I using that word right?), you could find him a sacrificial virgin. From what I know about guys (assholes), they really get off on that shit.
nobody told me there was going to be sacrificial virgins... (checks kayak for tickets)
Yay! Montambo blushes! And now I'm giggling!!!Evilnick, are you going to sacrifice yourself? ;)
oh ho... I see how this works...I am not a gay virgin! No... wait...
damn...
Dave, are you really going to come to Olympia? 'Cause that would be cool!I'm up for meeting up in Portland again, too. Because, you know, any excuse to visit Powell's...
I thought if I were coming to Portland I might as well go up to see you, but if you can come down to Portland that would be better. At this point it's all just a notion though.
I second that, uh, notion...
Since I can't contribute much on the haters-get-together... I'll just invite Amanda to come to Indonesia. Since you love Djarum light/black, I'll take you to Kediri, a small city where Djarum is originally from. When you can smell the clove cigarettes in the air and workers in Djarum shirts, you know you're in Kediri!I hate clove cigarettes though. It gives me headache for some reason.
Oh. My. God. I am HONORED!!! I've never been invited to Indonesia before!Are the workers mistreated? I hope not. Ugh.
They got free t-shirts at least... But thanks to people like you, Amanda - people in Kediri have jobs... :-) You're such a saint!
But seriously, the workers aren't mistreated. Cigarette industry is pretty big here. It really gives jobs to many tobacco farmers and other workers in "cigarette towns" like Kediri.... :-)
I'm imagining workers in Indonesia praying to little statues of St. Amanda.
Heheheh... Yeah I wouldn't be one of St. Amanda's worshippers... I "donate" my money to Phillip Morris.
My family would be so proud. ;)Actually, I feel that way about the two major cigarette companies in the US. Phillip Morris is in Virginia and RJ Reynolds is in North Carolina. So I always say that if people are gonna smoke at all (which they shouldn't becuse it's bad for you and it's smelly and stupid), they should smoke RJR cigs. Give money to my state! Give us money!!!
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