Terminalcoffee discussion
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Life Lessons You Learned the Hard Way
Never, ever stick your penis through that hole in the wall.
Don't take a vitamin if you already feel queasy.
1) Don't argue with 10-year-olds
2) Tequila is not my drink
3) Don't try to get smart with Canadian Immigration
crossing the border via the Windsor Tunnel
2) Tequila is not my drink
3) Don't try to get smart with Canadian Immigration
crossing the border via the Windsor Tunnel
Do not attempt to rinse the colandar by turning it upside down and using the sprayer attachment.
Life lesson someone else learned the hard way: Don't schedule your marriage for the day after the divorce is supposed to proceed. Judges get sick too.
RandomAnthony wrote: "Never, ever stick your penis through that hole in the wall."...
If your dog and/or horse balks at proceeding, they may have a good reason. When Zu's brother was a kid, he and their German Shepherd were out for a walk on the outskirts of a public dairy farm/teahouse/museumish place. They came to a beautiful mossy meadow, and her brother wanted to run across, but the dog dug her heels in. He tugged and tugged, and finally the dog said "If you say so!" in her doggy way, and leaped forward, taking him with her. It turns out the "meadow" was a thin mossy covering over the swamp to which the farm pumped all of the cow manure, and they both ended up swimming in it.
New life lesson: Do not read TC immediately after lunch.
Never doubt Tom he knows best.I was visiting a friend of mine in Houston. She had just moved there a few months before. We decided to go get a bite at the Chili's. She turned on her Tom Tom (GPS) and typed in Chili's. On the way she said this doesn't look right and turned around saying she thought it was this way. We ended up driving around for another half an hour looking for it when she finally said lets just follow Tom. Guess who was right.
I've actually learned the opposite lesson: always have a basic idea of where you're going before you trust the GPS.
Larry wrote: "RandomAnthony wrote: "Never, ever stick your penis through that hole in the wall."Okie dokie smokey. Ummm, I have questions about that, but I should
probably not voice them here.
Drink water while out drinking.Stretch the hamstrings before participating in any sporting activity. Tearing hamstrings is no fun.
Don't look away when hammering a nail, the swing path tends to move.
Don't clip speaker wire when your eyes are close, because sometimes it flies into the eye, and then you tend to blink right away which causes serious scratching.
Hurricanes in New Orleans are a nasty are a nasty and sickly sweet rum drink. Don't drink 7 of them. In one night. And fly home the next day. Oh, I also learned falling asleep in my on-laws front yard (after consuming said drinks) is not cool.
ALWAYS carry extra guitar strings, 9V batteries, and patch cords.
Suefly wrote: "Hurricanes in New Orleans are a nasty are a nasty and sickly sweet rum drink. Don't drink 7 of them. In one night. And fly home the next day. Oh, I also learned falling asleep in my on-laws front y..."OH, Suefly... you didn't.
Even when I was 18, I knew to NEVER drink more than 2 hurricanes in one night.
I did. I thought, 'oh, these are harmless'! We were there for HOURS and I guess I just got caught up. My spouse, raised near Mobile, AL, did try to warn me, but...I hate rum now. Bleh.
I can understand why you'd feel that way. Heck, I was 4 years old when my mother taught me that Hurricanes in mass quantity are bad (because my Aunt Nancy puked in the back of their brand new Volvo as they were driving home after a night out on Bourbon Street). It's stayed with me.
DON'T DRINK THE WATER when you're in Africa. Unless you live there...just, don't.Never shave with soapy water even if you run out of shaving cream and get desperate.
Hanna wrote: "DON'T DRINK THE WATER when you're in Africa. Unless you live there...just, don't.Never shave with soapy water even if you run out of shaving cream and get desperate."
What do I drink if I'm in Africa if I can't drink water?
I've used conditioner to shave. Works like a charm.
We buy bottled water. A friend of mine who was working at an orphanage was having so much fun that she totally forgot about the water thing and ate homemade popsicles with the kids. Oh boy, she was throwing up for weeks. And it's almost better to recover on your own than go to the hospitals because you could get even sicker there.
Mod
Always have tissues in your purse and/or backpack.
Oh, always carry a book or other source of distraction with you. I learned this when I got stuck in the elevator for 2 hours and all I had was my dirty laundry, detergent and change.
Don't date anyone who is seriously mentally ill and un-medicated.
Lots of space plus good monthly rent doesn't always equal a nice apartment. I lived for 9 months in a place I never want to think about again. Do your homework when moving.
If your future landlord is wearing a white belt and white shoes and stares at your boobs, then don't rent from him. Just don't.
Forgive yourself. But don't use "forgive yourself" as an excuse to act like an asshole.
RandomAnthony wrote: "Never, ever stick your penis through that hole in the wall."So far the funniest thing I've read in 2011!
When someone wants you to loan them money shortly after telling you they love you, think twice before agreeing.
Never, ever invite someone over for a late-night booty call after you've been drinking and IMing on Yahoo, unless you have actually seen a photo first. People will leave stuff out when they are decribing themselves.
White dress shoes on men. Yuck.
try never to cry on the job (or, at least in public)
Never schedule anything an hour after a Baptist event is suppose to be over.
Hanna wrote: "DON'T DRINK THE WATER when you're in Africa. Unless you live there...just, don't."Not everywhere! I haven't had a problem with the water in South Africa.
Never go see the Blasters, drink kamikazes with your aging hipster doofus high-school friends - a few of whom now listen to Lady Gaga and Alicia Keys and one of whom now has a script for medicinal marijuana - until they're seeping out of your ears, and then get up for 9:00 mass the next morning.
Your friends were seeping out of your ears?
My daughter went out drinking on her 21st b'day from midnight to 2 a.m. and made it to 10 a.m. Easter mass. She looked a little green, and left after communion to walk home.
Sarah Pi wrote: "BUt worth it to see the Blasters?"
Yep!
Yep!
Jammies wrote: "Your friends were seeping out of your ears?"
It felt like it Sunday morning.
It felt like it Sunday morning.
never pepper spray yourself to "see what it feels like"
come to think of it, it seems the canister was marked ACME
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "never pepper spray yourself to "see what it feels like""
Wow.
On a related note keep bear pepper spray off of any surface a cat can reach and knock over and discharge entire contents in the middle of the night, so you have to run out into the snowy yard in your underwear, then run back inside to find said cat and save it from asphyxiation. There was a copy of Emily Dickinsin's complete poems near the blast that still makes my eyes burn years later.
Also don't eat a jar of jalapeño peppers on a bet. Scratch that; don't eat anything on a bet.
Wow.
On a related note keep bear pepper spray off of any surface a cat can reach and knock over and discharge entire contents in the middle of the night, so you have to run out into the snowy yard in your underwear, then run back inside to find said cat and save it from asphyxiation. There was a copy of Emily Dickinsin's complete poems near the blast that still makes my eyes burn years later.
Also don't eat a jar of jalapeño peppers on a bet. Scratch that; don't eat anything on a bet.
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "never pepper spray yourself to "see what it feels like""Done that one, but it wasn't on purpose. Just messing with it when my parents had already told me not to.
My brother still likes to do the impression of me running around screaming "My face feels funny!"
Melody wrote: "Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "never pepper spray yourself to "see what it feels like""Wow.
On a related note keep bear pepper spray off of any surface a cat can reach and knock over and disc..."
Where I worked a long time ago, we used to have jalapeno pepper eating contests on fridays to see who could eat the most.
Another one: buy your car through your credit union. I bought my first car from a dealer. I did all my homework and research. I interviewed everybody I knew for tips and advice. The sticker price on the car was $18,900. It took me 4 hours of bargaining but I got them down to $12,000, and made them throw in free floor mats (list price: $200). When I picked up the check from the credit union, all smug and sweaty, the loan officer said, "We could have got that car for you for the fleet price. $11,000."
SON OF A BITCH!