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Feeling Nostalgic? The archives
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Answer Machine (New & Improved?)- I'm Feeling All Knowing/Kevin: The Great and Powerful Oz/NOW TEMPORARILY THE "ASK CLARK" THREAD! >> Wisconsin Wedgies, Tag teamed back to Kevin/Squatting Shatner vs. Sally's birds
message 401:
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janine
(new)
Jan 27, 2011 08:58AM
brilliant!
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ok, a simple moose dry humping JA would be too obvious so........[please play this in the background whilst reading]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azVqek...
first i cut two slits in the front of the black sweatshirt i am wearing. i then pull both my arms back in through the sleeves and poke my hands out of the slits so there is a nice black background. then i put on the moose and the mouse puppets. cuing the song africa (by toto) for background music.i put the puppets on the middle finger of each hand for obvious subliminal reasons. then in my best suave moose voice (the moose is me) i say:
Moose: hey baby, what is a mouse like you doing in a place like this?
Mouse: [done in high girly voice] i'm just here for the music
Moose: i know this may sound cheesy (chuckling) but why don't we make some mice
Mouse: sorry pal, i am a married mouse. you may know my husband, maury mouse?
Moose: maury? that old rat? he was born in 1939. how bout i show you a what a real current affair is?
Mouse: oh moose, you're so crazy.
Moose: well this ain't my antler and i am happy to see you
then i rub the moose puppet up on the mouse puppet while making these sounds, then slip both puppets back under my shirt and have them wrestle around while i make more mouse noises. (play video below for effect)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejlCv9...
the end
Did I imagine a little purr in Larry's voice as he said uhhhh huuuhhh out loud while he typed that?
You wouldn't have me any other way.
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "ok, a simple moose dry humping JA would be too obvious so........[please play this in the background whilst reading]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azVqek..."
That was very good but now I have Toto stuck in my head. What should I do?
Interpretive dance, Michael.
When you're in the bath, how hot and how high do you like the water?
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "excellent question btw RA"Excellent answer, sir.
431 - click your heels together three times and repeat "there's no place like home, there's no place..."
433 - red ass hot and running overnext?
Given unlimited funds to spend on a car, would you choose a new car (which one?) or a restored classic (again, which?) and explain your choice.
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Scout- new car. Prob a new Ford truck. I like driving trucks and sitting up higher. A Ferrari or corvette would be fun for a short time or a drive but long term not practical and not me. The idea of a late 60's early 70's restored muscle car ( GTO or Chevelle ) seems cool to me but I can't see me actually driving one. I once restored a 1970 Chevy truck. Complete paint job, new wheels/tires, interior done and new trim. When I get done it was too nice to drive. I was afraid to use it for fear of scratching or damaging it. Zero fun just looking at it. And that wasn't even a professional restoration.
Sally - Innuendo
Scout wrote: "Given unlimited funds to spend on a car, would you choose a new car (which one?) or a restored classic (again, which?) and explain your choice."I like the looks of the classic cars, but the convenience of the newer ones, so I'd go newer. Absolutely no clue which car though, I just want something pretty with heated seats because I'm addicted to the ones in my SUV. Oh, and lots of cupholders.
Oz, is global warming an indisputable fact?
Do I actually want to be the apple of someone's eye?
Why does that guy's penis itch a little?
442 - no, def disputable. We have had snow on the ground here since Thanksgiving. Every day. And it has already been a very cold winter. Most wintery winter we've had in years and yet there is no doubt that the polar ice caps are melting. I was inclined to believe the cyclic theory until I started the rumor that actually the equator has moved. Now I totally support that explanation.Next?
Stacia - no, being the apple of ones eye is much pressure. Plus at the core it is not apeeling and can get seedy. This idea stems from a study done on a macintosh computer done by Granny Smith in Fuji.Next?
RA - it really is not an itch. He is fake scratching as an excuse to touch in publicNext?
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "Sally - Innuendo"Oh yeah? Well in YOU endo too, buster!
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "RA - it really is not an itch. He is fake scratching as an excuse to touch in publicNext?"
Heehee love it
Will we get a snow day this week? If we don't, what's a reasonable outlet for my rage and disappointment?
yes. Wednesday. reasonable: calling willard scott a cottonheaded ninnymuggings.
unreasonable: running out in the 10" of snow and throwing yourself down naked and making angry snow angels while throwing a tantrum. (but if you do this have the wife video for TC)
Oh please can we have option B? I'd volunteer to do something similar here on the beach, but the sand is so hot at the moment I might get blisters on sensitive parts.
Answerman, is it OK to tell a lie and, if so, for what reasons?
scout - here are the instances where it is ok to lie:A) to a telemarketer
B) to a traffic cop (i said traffic)
C) to any woman who asks "how do i look in this?"
D) to her mother ("mrs. smith, this is the best cake i've ever eaten"
E) to me when telling me how good the sex is
Screeeeech... step on the brakes! I was anticipating #E and was about to tell you what a fantastic answer-man you are when two things happened. First I realized that it was the truth. You are awesome! Second, I read the rest of the sentence.
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Anyway, my question is, what is the deal with movies like Harry Potter? I mean, I didn't even like the book. I'm not going to want to even think about seeing that movie, much less the seventh or whatever.
janice - thanks.britt - this weekend
sally - if your father is 46 than yes, we are the same age. as for lil harry, he is a wizard and thus able to cast spells on you as well as most of the rest of the world. that would account for the lemming like following of his franchise. i think the spell was something like:
spendiki moneyous onnifido meelicorpis
in God's eyes there are no ugly girls.
How do you cook a London Broil...preferably a BBQ version?
first....after you land at Heathrow, find some kind of fire. then you'll need some flank steak and something for a marinade. high heat on a grill. enjoy
Is the desire to be free inherent in the nature of all people?
no. some people are lemmings and don't function well with freedom. they need someone to lead them even if it is in the wrong direction.now the desire for FREE STUFF in inherent in all people
next?
Spring training starts this week and the Twins middle infield looks shaky, they lost five middle-inning relievers and Joe Mauer is coming off of minor knee surgery. Should I be worried?
good gosh almighty, a baseball question! bless you michael.ok, twins: middle infield will most likely be nishioka (batting champ. in japan. unproven here against MLB pitchers) and alexi casilla (typical no pop glover who has a lifetime of .249) hardy will be missed as he was a better fielder and hitter than either one of these guys. joe mauer is the baseball jesus. he will be fine. he will be better than fine. he will be joe mauer. as for middle inning relievers they are simply starters who can't start. you've got some good starters who will prob need to give you more quality starts and close the gap in the number of innings that the middle guys are needed. (like every team). i will say though, the padres showed the how very good middle guys make a ton of difference. white sox are still prob the team to beat and the tigers got better i think. so in summation....yes, i would be worried
Should I continue this workout streak I'm on?
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