Terminalcoffee discussion
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Feeling Nostalgic? The archives
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Answer Machine (New & Improved?)- I'm Feeling All Knowing/Kevin: The Great and Powerful Oz/NOW TEMPORARILY THE "ASK CLARK" THREAD! >> Wisconsin Wedgies, Tag teamed back to Kevin/Squatting Shatner vs. Sally's birds
What would be my nickname if I grew a goatee?
Mod
Is there any context where it's polite to call someone a hillbilly?
britt - he didn't through you away. you are recycled which is not as bad as it may sound. many times when something is recycled it is put to much better use and valued much morenext?
RA - yes, for instance if you meet jimmy ray johnson and he has a lawn mower with a lawn chair strapped on the the back of the seat (backwards) for his wife (his 1st cousin sheila) and a cooler duct taped onto the front cowling (for old milwaukee)with larry the cable guy stickers plastered on it you can politely say to him"woooooo-wheeeeee! dang boy, you are some kind of hillbilly ain't ya?"
to which he'll grin like alfred e. newman and say "hell yah"
I let my dog out this morning to pee and my husband called that he hasn't returned. Yesterday our other dog was stolen. Are these two incidents related?
Lyzzibug wrote: "I let my dog out this morning to pee and my husband called that he hasn't returned. Yesterday our other dog was stolen. Are these two incidents related?"i hope not.
My husband found one two streets down! WooHoo! Don't think the other one is going to be found. :(
Two questions this morning...1. If I cover my body in acrylic orange paint, then roll around on an eight foot by ten foot canvas, how much should I charge for the picture, and why?
2. At what age is checking out the SI swimsuit edition models supposed to feel creepy?
RandomAnthony wrote: "2. At what age is checking out the SI swimsuit edition models supposed to feel creepy?"does it make you feel creepy?
Hmmmmm ... I can't fathom that making me feel creepy.
Check out this model:http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011...
and this one:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011...
They are too young looking to make me feel anything but creepy.
Okay yeah well I guess I see your point. It's been a long time since I've viewed SI, swimsuit edition or otherwise. They do look pretty young, at least their faces. Especially the 18 year old.Some evolutionary biologists have postulated that humans look the way they do because of the selection of immature appearance in mates over our history. I can see some validity in that.
I hear you, Larry...the idea of the SI swimsuit issue has always, ahem, made me feel less than creepy...but this time around I was slightly in "ew" mode.
They do look like they are 15!
Kevin.Ok, so we have a huge party at your house, and Janine is there, and Janine walks into the field behind the house, for some peace and quiet under the stars, and she finds you, Jim, Larry, Jonathan, Clark, and me naked in a field filled with goats.
Three questions:
1. What excuse do we give Janine?
2. Do we ask Janine to keep this a secret?
3. If she says "no" to our request to keep this secret, with what do we bribe her?
RandomAnthony wrote: "Kevin.
Ok, so we have a huge party at your house, and Janine is there, and Janine walks into the field behind the house, for some peace and quiet under the stars, and she finds you, Jim, Larry, ..."
You've been drinking again, haven't you?
Ok, so we have a huge party at your house, and Janine is there, and Janine walks into the field behind the house, for some peace and quiet under the stars, and she finds you, Jim, Larry, ..."
You've been drinking again, haven't you?
You've been drinking again, haven't you? Is that what we say to Janine, Clark? That's she hallucinating? Not a bad plan...
Indiana, where the men are men and the goats are scared.
RandomAnthony wrote: "Check out this model:http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011...
and this one:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011......"
Wow! They are all really young looking. They look like they're anywhere from 14-18.
Oh DUH! They have their ages marked under the pictures. Will I ever learn?
Janice wrote: "Oh DUH! They have their ages marked under the pictures. Will I ever learn?"
At this point do you really even want to? :-)
RA - an 8x10 canvas is 80sq ft. in the year 80 AD julius agricola, the roman governor of britain,advanced into scotland at the head of a roman army. year 80 + julius + orange paint = orange julius at the mall. a large smoothie is $3.25 so that would obviously be the correct charge for the body painting. easy.next?
RA - as for the creepy feeling....i thought there was no way i could feel creepy looking at SI swimsuit pictures. i was wrong. after looking at pics on link i turned both ways to see if i was watched. deleted cookies and cleared browser recent history, wiped my screen down with alcohol pads, changed my IP address and then put myself under a citizens arrest. the prob was not my age but the apparent age of the girls in the pics. i feel like some dad is gonna smash my office door down and kick my assnext?
RandomAnthony wrote: "Kevin.Ok, so we have a huge party at your house, and Janine is there, and Janine walks into the field behind the house, for some peace and quiet under the stars, and she finds you, Jim, Larry, ..."
hey, i was drinking! you almost made me ruin my laptop!
Lyzzibug wrote: "My husband found one two streets down! WooHoo! Don't think the other one is going to be found. :("Oh no. :(
Mod
Ok, so we have a huge party at your house, and Janine is there, and Janine walks into the field behind the house, for some peace and quiet under the stars, and she finds you, Jim, Larry, ..."
What excuse would you need? Seems like a perfectly natural occurrence to me, considering those present.
In a dream, you've magically become King of the World. Which TC members would you choose as advisors, and what would their titles be?**Hoping Lyzzibug's dog returns like Bear did**
RandomAnthony wrote: "Kevin.Ok, so we have a huge party at your house, and Janine is there, and Janine walks into the field behind the house, for some peace and quiet under the stars, and she finds you, Jim, Larry, ..."
i missed this one. sorry....
1) we tell janine we are wearing the new over-armour sport suits made for manly outdoor activity (ala emperor's new clothes)
2) no, we try to talk her into trying on the women's version
3) we offer to only comment on threads in danish
next?
scout - in a dream....yeah, i'll play along (as if i were not already...)scout - advanced expeditionary steering committee chair
ms petra - chief letter hander-outer / baseball coach
jackie - keeper of the scrolls
clark - reality checker
RA - bathing coordinator
sally - dutchess of snark
LG - countess of cleverness
jim - cub-master
bun - official fact checker
heidi - breakdance instructor
sarah pi - maestra of music
phil - count of common sense
britt - server of youth and vitality
and i could go on and on...
next?
Next: How can one mend a broken heart?
scout - ahhh. good one. the answer lies in the question itself. a broken heart is never truly broken, rather merely overload multi-tasking causing the illusion of malfunction. it is is prioritizing the loss rather than anticipating future gains. time is the best repair. remember: sorrow last but a moment, love, eternally.next?
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "RA - as for the creepy feeling....i thought there was no way i could feel creepy looking at SI swimsuit pictures. i was wrong. after looking at pics on link i turned both ways to see if i was watch..."This might have been your best answer ever...I laughed out. Then I tried to explain it to my wife and she didn't think we were funny.
Why doesn't she think we're funny?
RA - let me guess, she doesn't like dumb & dumber, the 3 stooges or beavis & butthead? you ever watched a kid hit a dad in the nuts with a 2 iron on youtube and laugh out loud and when you show you wife she says something like "why was he letting the child swing a golf club in sun room anyway?" to which we reply "who cares, he got lee travino'd in the nads! that's hilarious"
i have been here. and remember, wherever you go...there you are. i have been here and i have been there. i have not been there and here simultaneously but i have been there and then here. next?
Can you tell me what is so great about riding a motorcycle? My mother, stepfather, father all have a cruiser and my husband has a crotch-rocket. I don't see the draw, there isn't any protection from an oncoming car. I’ve ridden but still don’t see it.
lyzziburg - first i really don't need to hear about your husband's sexual prowess but i can answer the question about motorcyclesfirst remember that i am an avid motorcycle rider (not a motorcyclist as that sound rather elitist). i ride a cruiser style as well but i have ridden sport bikes. several things are so great about it:
1) terrific gas mileage (not the reason hardly anyone rides but def a plus)
2) sort of a rebel/bad boy (or girl) image that we like
3) the freedom of the open rode and wind in our hair (so to speak in my case)
4) def a cool "brotherhood" or unity in bikers
5) did i mention how freakin' cool we are?
6) grabbing and embracing youth even if we are age-wise past it
7) the upkeep, accessorizing and maintenance becomes a hobby of sort plus there are lots of bike events
8) the freakin' gear is swag
9) on some (like mine) with no windshield or radio you just get to think without cell phones or music
10) some chicks dig bikers
nope. not much protection from an oncoming car other than doing a faceplant in the side ditch but mine has caused me to be a more alert driver both on and off the motorcycle. to me, at 46, i feel cool like the teenager mark wheeler who used to ride around my neighborhood smoking camels and doing wheelies. i just took longer to get there than him.
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Thank You, I can see now ;)
I heard recently about a woman who could hypnotize herself. How does one go about doing this?
scout - well, to hypnotize myself i occasionally repeat this chant: i do believe in spooks
i do believe in spooks
i do believe in spooks
i do, i do, i do.
that sometimes works. i once stared at the climbing speedometer while listening to radar love and hypnotized myself into believing i was mario andretti. yah....the cop didn't buy it either.
next?
"The Great and Powerful Oz" is a charlatan with the answer. What or whom is he meant to symbolize?
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Bob.