Dear dumb and ret*rded drivers,

[[deleted user]]

I hate when you disobey traffic laws to "let me in." STOP IT!!! I realize you're "being nice," but I don't really want to trust you that there's no oncoming traffic on the other side of you. I also am not actually looking at your car and your vague little hand waving me in. I'm ACTUALLY looking for the traffic to clear, which is when I will proceed. And the traffic is NOT clearing, because you are still there, letting cars pile up behind you, or better yet--going around you into the lane where you'd like me to drive and get smashed.

And it's the opposite of being nice when you get irritated with me when I don't go, make hand gestures that mean, "WTF?! I'm letting you in but you're a fucking dumb ass and I stopped for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!"

And if you honk at me because I'm not going (and NO I am NOT going until the traffic is clear, including you,) then you are an asshole. Not "nice." Please review the right of way rules and follow them. That would actually be nice.

[Reads with Scotch]

Of course you didn't actually see any of this as you were eyeball deep in your vanity mirror applying liberal amounts of makeup at the time.

[[deleted user]]

I would never do that while turning left. Good grief. I don't want to die!

p.s. I hate turning left when there's no light. I go to great lengths to avoid it. I don't need any added pressure!

[smetchie]

Nick, I hate to say anything nice but your dog really is a looker. What a beauty!! You know from afar and asmall that almost looks like a foot in your avatar.

[Reads with Scotch]

Almost isn't is.

[Stina]

I was driving behind a car this morning that had a license plate that said "RETARDED and HAPPY". I laughed outloud and zipped up to check out the driver... it was then that I realized it said "RETIRED and HAPPY".

Oh well... a girl can dream!

[[deleted user]]

Haha! Love it. You should make those bumper stickers, Kristina, and let your dream become a reality.