This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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I Hate Being an Asshole
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Gus, I don't think you really hate being an asshole. Sounds more like you revel in it. Better come to the love cult.
Qu'est que c'est zees Love Cult?
Yeah, I do revel in being an asshole. I'm queueing Denis Leary's Asshole right now...
"Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, while handicapped people make handicapped faces...I'm an asshoooooooole!"
Yeah, I do revel in being an asshole. I'm queueing Denis Leary's Asshole right now...
"Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, while handicapped people make handicapped faces...I'm an asshoooooooole!"
Fantastic story, however. Blam!
That is a great song, Gus. I have had that CD for years. :) I had the privilege of introducing my husband to it and we listen to it on roadtrips now.
And, your story is awesome! Little brat!
The kid got off lucky. Like you said, Gus, whenever I got in trouble at school, church, whatever, - as soon as I walked in the door, I would hear my dad say “Grab your ankles.” Then off came the belt. My mom’s preference was always the metal spoon, but I digress.
My mom was the disciplinarian in my house. Her weapons of choice were anything she could get her hands on. I can't tell you how many times she broke a Wiffle Ball bat over my head when I was being a dick.
She even hit my dad with a turkey leg. I shit you not.
Just don't take what I'm saying as my mom was an abusive bitch. She means well, and I love her madly for it. She didn't raise no fools.
She even hit my dad with a turkey leg. I shit you not.
Just don't take what I'm saying as my mom was an abusive bitch. She means well, and I love her madly for it. She didn't raise no fools.
Karma does exist! That story was awesome. Reminds me of when I worked in a coffeshop, there was this total douchebag kid who came in every few weeks. Pompous asshole doesn't even begin to describe him, but anyway...the last time he came in, one of the booksellers told me that he'd dumped his entire coffee down his shirt trying to reach something that was too high. I reveled in that particular joy for the rest of the week. My parents were both heavy disciplinarians. If Mom spanked me, then Dad spanked me too when he got home from work. However, they did let me and my brother pick out the belts we were to be spanked with, and it didn't take up long to figure out that the thick ones--though scarier-looking--actually didn't hurt very much.
But yeah, I've been spanked with everything from a flyswatter to a coloring book.
Oh, I too have tasted the sting of the flyswatter. Thinking back, I recall being spanked by aunts and uncles. I even got paddled by the vice principal once. Borrowing Amanda's device . I think that makes it a whisper. Yeah, not to date anyone, but back in the 70's and 80's spanking was all the rage. I think they actually gave out tax deductions for spanking your kids.
Somebody call me when this thread diverts away from the topic at hand. You may continue...(Pssst... Good job, Rusty!)
NOOOO! We like this thread! We like reading about bratty punks taking metal doors across the face!
What I like about this discussion is that the kid got "spanked" in the face with a metal door. Everyone has all been sharing stories of being spanked deliberately on the tush with whatever instrument for being a brat and being punished. Yet this is so much more than that. Its like some higher power stepped in and took over, the mom wasn't punishing the kid adaquetly, so shazaaam door to the face to punctuate the situation. I love it. I can still remember getting spanked for being a total brat. I remember what I did, I remember why it was bad, and I remember the humilation of the spanking. I'd like to say it did the trick, but I'm still kind of a brat. So who knows, maybe I needed a god-smack to the face. ( I hate that band)
I have never spanked Jake, nor do I really believe in it.BUT I confess, I've often wondered if maybe a spanking might have done the little brat some good...
You are right, Emma. It is hilarious. :)
....soo true. Why do they usually go hand in hand?
You know what else is hilarious, Emma? Your avatar. It gives me the giggles every time I see it.Is that an ostrich or an emu?
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Case in point: I was picking up my little girl from daycare yesterday. I spotted a boy, about 5 years old, looking all pissy and petulant. From what I overheard, he'd been acting like a pint-sized douche all day, and he was being reprimanded for it. His mother was walking him to their car. Gently, she was trying to explain to him that his behaviour is wrong, and his fellow daycare mates won't like him if he's being a poophead. The little poophead isn't paying his mother any attention; he's too busy readying himself for the super fit he's fixing to pitch.
(And what is it about little boys that pitch fits? My mom told me I wasn't one to pitch a fit, because she taught me from a young age that I should know better, or she'd beat my ass silly for it. I see too many boys pitching a fit because they wanted their Power Rangers sippy cup, and not the Spongebob Squarepants one their mom gave them. Send those little brats my way; I'll give 'em a reason to cry...)
Suddenly, WHAM! The pissy little fucker takes a car door right in the face. His mom thought he was behind her, and not standing right next to the door when she flung it open. He tried hard not to cry, but, man, you could see both the pain and the humiliation welling all over his face.
Like the asshole I am, I laughed, and he saw me laughing. Then he cried.
Buck up, kid. This is karma's way of saying, "Don't be a dick." Also, it's karma's way of saying, "Hey, stupid, pay attention, or you're gonna get a car door in the kisser!"
No, I didn't feel sorry for him.