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Fortunately Unfortunately
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message 301:
by
James
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Dec 10, 2015 11:51PM
Unfortunately, Amazon doesn't deliver to the North Pole.
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Fortunately there are many indie authors in the greater North Pole area; providing the residents plenty of pnr vampire romance novels to read.
Unfortunately, the authors of said vampire novels were so good with their descriptions that the vampires actually came to life and started alternately attacking people and carrying off pretty teenage girls for brides.
Fortunately, all it took was for someone to not believe in vampires and they all disappeared.
Unfortunately they are all at my house as I am a believer. Its starting to get cramped for room here now.
Fortunately, you were able to build a new wing onto your house and the vampires are quite comfortable.
Unfortunately they didnt pay their rent and they had to go.
Fortunately, there was a vampire hotel nearby that they could afford
Unfortunately the hotel was called Fawlty Towers, with Basil and Sybil still in charge
Fortunately, their mad, funny, Spanish waiter provided some levity by making everyone laugh when he went around repeating "I vant to drink your blood" in his funny Spanish accent. It certainly came out different in a Spanish accent rather than a Transylvanian one. People were LOL.
Unfortunately after leaving one too many "Bloody Mary's" lying around, he was taken in for questioning by the local constabulary, who had taken him in for a blood test and being over the legal vampire limit. It was here he confessed his love for everyone he saw and started singing really badly and off key.
Fortunately, the constable was tone deaf and enjoyed the solo performance, right up to the point he turned the key in the jail cell.
Unfortunately it was the key to Justin Beiber's cell however the tone deaf constable still enjoyed the performance.
Unfortunately, while out on patrol, a car chase ensued, and he found out he was the new sergeant of the keystone cops.
It turned out that he was really an actor in Gilbert & Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance. He had no experience at all as a cop. But the show was grossing millions.
Unfortunately, the world wide phenonemon was taken around the globe, to countries where music and dance had rarely been seen. It was here that our actor/bad cop stepped on the rare species of snail, the Slowdownabitanlevatralius. The ensuing butterfly effect was to be felt all around the world for years to come.
Fortunately, he invented a time machine so he could go back in time and right his wrongs. saving the slowdownabitanlevattralius from extinction and earning a Nobel peace prize in the process.
Unfortunately, the slowdownabitanlevattralius ended up bringing the universe to a grinding halt.
Fortunately, the universe needed to be brought to a grinding halt. Life had been too fast paced and people had been dying of heart attacks at an alarming rate. Soon the universe was moving again, but at a much slower pace.
Fortunately, he didn't mind the demotion. However, he had to use Dr. Who's TARDIS to get back to the right time.
Unfortunately as the universe was moving so slow, its centrifugal force was also reduced and the Earth dropped straight out of the sky
Fortunately, the police officer found that Dr. Who was actually in the TARDIS. Dr. Who was able to go back in time and reverse things so that the earth didn't fall off its axis.
Unfortunately now for some unexplained reason the Police officer walked with a limp.
Fortunately, whether or not it was due to Dr. Speckle, things began to move at a more normal pace and the world was soon right again.
Unfortunately Dr Sparkle was a fraud and the rose colour glasses he traded in soon became faded and grey. Customers started protesting outside his offices and someone even through a rock and smashed the window.
Fortunately he had three different names and was able to escape the country on one of his fake Visas.
Unfortunately it looked like not only did he escape but he was the last man on earth and no one would respond to any of his questions
Fortunately, everyone else on Earth had just been inside watching the new Sherlock Christmas special, and they were not gone at all.
Unfortunately I fell asleep during the program and have woken up to be watching the Test Pattern that used to be shown back in the 70's. Spooky.
Fortunately, 'Saturday Night Fever' was the background music. Unfortunately, I looked down and noticed I was wearing 70's pink disco Dancing Queen flares.
Fortunately, it was Halloween and you had been dressed like that for a party.
Yes I was a zombie tonight. Was it really just a costume or my true self?
Unfortunately it was a party to celebrate Monday....and it appears that you do actually always dress that way.
Unfortunately about 100,000 people already have that same certificate and dress like Elvis
Fortunately, there are plenty of shrinks for them.
Unfortunately they also think they are Elvis
Unfortunately it was all a hoax and Elvis was alive amd living on a deserted (well except for , a few select people) island.
Unfortunately noone believed him and thought his pictures had been photoshopped. He ended up a broken and destitute man who lived in his car driving around the deserted island trying to sell his wares.
Fortunately this was just one chapter in this mans life and he was ready to begin the next exciting adventure.
Unfortunately everyone had got bored of Elvis by then, and he struggled to find a new avenue for his hip thrusts (which were still kicking wildly thanks to advances in alien health technology, which had transformed him back into his prime of life).(*goes away for some alone time, thinking of young Elvis*) ;-P
Fortunately, a new hero emerged...the great wacko jacko....he was born to uphold the prophesy and give back to the world the gift of fashion, as foretold by the great ancient civilsation, the Jacksonians, who were thought to become extinct centuries ago but always seemed to bob up now and again.
Fortunately the true God of fashion, Kim Kardashion, place an almighty evil spell on the false try hard rapper and turned him into..gasp...ulp...Justin Beiber
Unfortunately, the universe couldn't cope with the idea of TWO Justin Biebers, and it started collapsing at a rapid rate. Destruction was imminent...
Unfortunately in Stephen's nightmare, he was turned into a frog.((lol))
Unfortunately, he would have much rather have been kissed by a handsome prince.
Fortunately, a handsome prince came and took the frog from the princess
Unfortunately he was very fond of frogs legs sautéed with garlic
