This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

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I HATE the smell of dead things on my house.

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The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments The fuck! There’s a dead something in this house and I can’t fucking find it!!! Is driving me insane!!!!!! This sux!

message 2: by Jenn (new)

Jenn How do you know for sure it is something dead? Perhaps someone liquid assed you without your knowing...just sayin...

message 3: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) one time (at band camp) one of our cats crawled under the house and died. our friend Decker had to go under the house and drag his dead carcass out in a trash bag. It stank so bad for the weeks before that. That sweet, sickly smell of death. Ah, existence.

Jackie "the Librarian" Ha ha ha, good one, Alfonso!

message 5: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) apparently Alfonso crawled under his own house and was smelling himself. Alfonso... come out from under the house and stop being a dead cat right this minute!

message 6: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Good thinking on the python stuff you guys. Seth, you kill me man. Fucking hilarious.

Did Alfonso tell anyone where he keeps his will before he got swallowed whole?

message 7: by Sally (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 0 comments Maybe the death was in the trap of the dishwasher, and now Alfonso is trapped inside it.

message 8: by Kirk (new)

Kirk Maybe it's his lingerie that's causing the problem.

message 9: by Sally (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 0 comments oh, lord.

message 10: by Sally (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 0 comments **Using toe to nudge Seth's decapitated corpse onto the pile of stinky Alfonso/Clinton rags**

I want to know why Alfonso is concerned about the stink being on his house. Is there a dead bird on his roof? Why do we all assume there is death under his house? I think he climbed up onto the roof to scrape dead seagull carcass off an upstairs window with a meat cleaver and a power washer and met his untimely demise.

message 11: by Sally (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 0 comments Miraculously Kirk survives, only losing the part of his brain that understands formatting tips.
Dangling here, I feel I am slowly being suffocated by the stench of Alfonso's seagull splattered roof. Each time I swing little shards of guano fall into Kirk's brain, melting into the brain juice like salt in a margarita.

Kirk swoons

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Guahahahh, y’all kill me =), Seth again man IDK what you smoked to come up with this shit but I’m willing to try it any day. Donna, if you ever in NY please let me know, we need to go get drunk! Or we can try your “special” bread… Charissa, same to you!!! Maybe the 4 of us can get together and get wasted and watch Seth movie picks one day! Now that being said need to clarify a few things: 1. Seth, I'm a vegetarian… my movie snacks are usually of the salad kind… 2. It was a dead mice and they find the damn thing, it was underneath of one of the couches =(. 3. I was reading the posting all day long but I couldn’t respond cuz eddy’s cell phone won’t let me freaking post (I let him read it and he said that we need a live). 4. I live in an apartment.

message 13: by Kirk (new)

Kirk Haha---Sally, you give me too much credit. There's no part of my brain that understand these formatting instructions.

And my brain juice is already 2/3 Margarita, so guano salt goes just fine with it.

Not to change the subject, but, Seth, nope---not Clinton stank. More like Bush trimmings. (I'm a Democrat-sorry!).

message 14: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) :::raises from the dead::: phew! I'm so glad you aren't dead under your APARtment Alfonso... sheesh... nitpicker.

message 15: by Servius Heiner (last edited May 04, 2008 10:27PM) (new)

Servius  Heiner Alright Alfonso... I think you need a cat. I normally wouldn't suggest getting one, but if there are mice in your building then a cat will take care of it...

** Special note**
This would also prevent a large party of Goodreads patrons from wandering al over your house looking through your stuff. I have it from a good source that Kirk took some of your undies.(from the dirty pile)

**Uber Special Note**
Zombies are Know to carry a lot of diseases; you may want to clear them all out of your house.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments That’s it Charissa I was leaving you some stuff on my will but after calling me a nitpicker (I had to Google it) you out!!!! Seth you getting my fish (betacaroteno), my box of Cohibas and my DVD collection (is 2 of them: final fantasy advent children and Monty python and the holy grail deluxe edition), KD gets my music collection (that’s on my laptop so he is going to have to deal with my Lil sis cuz she asked for the laptop first), Donna, you get my sexy underwear... its red... ;)the books are for my lil sis except for the MY Silmarillion first edition... I’m to be buried with it and my broken Pants (that happened at the Blind Guardian concert in NY) and my red hoodie!!! Remember is really important that I’m dress with those cloths and that I’m holding the Silmarillion when y'all put me on that grave!!! Or I’ll come back as a zombie or a really low budget ghost to hound you!!!

Nick I wish I could have a cat =( cats, iguanas, fishes and cows are the only animals that I like but everybody allergic to cats here (including me)….

message 17: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) Oh darn, I'm going to have to live without your sexy red underwear, broken Pants, and a copy of Final Fantasy. How will I go on?

nitpickernitpickernitpickernitpicker!!! : P

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Charissa, You know what? you made me change my mind… you get my suspiciously stiff sox…

Servius  Heiner Charissa gets the happy sock HAHHAHAH!

message 20: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) erhm.... uhhh.... thanks? ::::puts on a pair of oyster shucking glove, a gas mask, and grabs some BBQ tongs::::

Uhm... do you have a Biohazard bag for that thing?

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Charissa, FYI I follow a strict diet of sweet drinks and fruit... so trust me that sock smell like sweet nectar from the gods.

Servius  Heiner **snickers at Charissa**

message 23: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) uh huh. dude, I don't even smell my own daughters socks. you can bet I'm sealing yours in a Hazmat bag and a steel drum, burying it in an abandoned mine shaft, filled with salt water, where it can spend the next aeon emitting radioactive toxins in peace and public safety.

Servius  Heiner Doesn’t saltwater corrode steel? I think you should opt for the high density plastic HAZMAT drum.

message 25: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) i dunno... i'm an artist... I know shit about HAZMAT drums. You be in charge of high density plastic and I'll be in charge of staying VERY FAR AWAY FROM ALFONSOS SOCKS!!!

ahem... while being completely honored to be gifted a dead boy's clothing.


Servius  Heiner Hey there is nothing wrong with vintage Alfonso clothing, I hear in some circles it is a mark of social prestige.

message 27: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) trouble is... I try not to move in those circles. mostly because they make me dizzy and I fall down.

Servius  Heiner you get dizzy because your breathing through your nose...

message 29: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) if I was breathing through my nose I'd be asphyxiated.

Servius  Heiner truth be told we were all hoping you would pass out so we could have are way with you...

message 31: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) you missed the boat dude... I stopped passing out at parties back in the late 80s. besides... I bite.

Servius  Heiner I fear no bite; I'm already a Vampy bastard thanks to you... Now bow down to your new nemesis.

message 33: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) The dakini bows to no man! Unless, of course, she is going down on him. In which case... well... anything goes.

Servius  Heiner are you sure you don't need to wipe yourself off with the midget... you sound pretty... damp };-p

message 35: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) I dunno... check back with me in a week or so... if I haven't gotten laid by then I might settle for being wiped with a midget.

Servius  Heiner I find it hard to believe you are having trouble finding a guy or a girl with an oversized clit. You seem to be a great catch... unless you have multiple personalities and I only know the nice witty Charissa.

message 37: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) oh Nick... the story of my love life is a long and sordid one. but thank you. I hold out hope that the next guy I toss my lot in with won't turn out to be a total tosser.

Servius  Heiner Hmm I think I am going to stick with multable personalities... it is more fun then boring old reality. Take lessons from Gore, If you lie enough, to your self any everyone in your life, eventually you will believe it too.

message 39: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) Hi, I'm Sybil... do I know you?

PurpleObsessor_15 (hunnybunn13) my mom's room smelled like cat pee when we moved in and still does. We can't get rid of it (partially cause' we aren't quite sure where it's comin' from) she sleeps in the car... LOL :)

Servius  Heiner Try a gl of pet-tastic. Have your mom crawl around on her hands and knees until she locates the piss spot. Then drench with the pet-tastic.(there may be more then one piss spot, in fact there is probably many piss spots) Problem solved

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Charissa, I’m terrible offended by your plans of putting my happy sock on a HAZMAT drum =(, I’ve put a lot of “love” on that sock over the years and it means a lot to me… I thought that maybe with you being an artist your could do something “artistic” with her… like a sock puppet… and call it Stiffy… or something like that =(, please don’t send my “Happy” sock on a HAZMAT barrel please =(

Servius  Heiner I think I just had a paranormal moment, I could have sworn I heard Alfonso... but that can't be isn't he dead...

message 44: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) :::stabz self in brain to rid herself of the mental image of alfonso putting "love" onto his sock::::

aaiiiiigghhh!!! it burns precious.

message 45: by Sally (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 0 comments something “artistic” with her… like a sock puppet…

Now I see why all the purple sock puppet hate today!

message 46: by [deleted user] (last edited May 09, 2008 12:35PM) (new)

If you didn't want to smell death, you wouldn't be alive. Death is your handmaid, always attentively preparing you for her dark embrace. Even now, your bones are weakening, your muscles are withering, and your flesh is sagging. Death joins you as you burst from the womb and her gentle caresses turn you into pus and paste as the years go by.

Get over it.

EDITED: Stupid grammar mistakes.

message 47: by Bryan (new)

Bryan Freud, that eternal optimist, but it best: "Birth is the beginning of death."

message 48: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) brendan in da house!!!!!

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