I hate when police officers lie!

[The Crimson Fucker]

You know that pull that you feel is going to make you vomit? But you hold it anyway… even tho your whole body is telling you to let go… or that shot of vodka that feels like is going to reap your guts open? But yet you hold the nausea and just hold it in??? well I’ve been doing something like that for about 25 years now… you know you just hold it in no matter how horrible it makes you feel, you just hold it in! ( I know that’s what she said) still I’ve been waiting for the day that I can finally get to look like the psycho within… and today it finally happened! I asked The Beast (don’t ask) to take off my braids so I can wash my hair today… and she did… and man do I look like a fucking nut case!!! I mean is just lovely!!! Anyway I go outside to smoke a cigarette while we wait for the bus to come (it was like 2:50 AM) and I’m just standing there in the parking lot looking cool, smoking… I mean you know how chicks love that psycho look! Well apparently cops dig it too! This police car pass by and slow down… and drives away then I see it on the other side of the streets and it does the same thing… and then it comes back again, drives in the parking lot, stop in front of me… and the officer lower the windows… and I’m like WTF? (I love saying that) and I walk forward and ask em if the alarm went off or something… and they look at me and tell me no, that they just looking for somebody around the area and if I’ve seen anybody running… and I’m like this guy think I’m stupid or something? So I tell him no but if I do I’d call 911... They like you work here? And I’m like yes, I’m the manager tonight and show them my mighty badge and they start driving away… and y’all know me! I can’t resist to do something stupid… so I ask em… do I really look that creepy??? And they like no, we just looking for somebody… and the guy said and I quote “interesting hair by the way” and I started laughing! Cuz damn! Finally! I mean fucking finally I look so fucking crazy that even the Popo have to take notice!!!! Coolest moment of my life!!!!!

[Reads with Scotch]

They probably thought you had wandered away from the "funny farm" it is their business to facilitate public safety after all.