SOLVED. YA fiction about cynical 14 y/o who runs track and her (questionably) older mysterious love interest who was her dead (??) brother's friend

[Fleur]

Hey there! I read this book in 2015 so I don't remember much about it, only that I had quite enjoyed it and have been wondering for years what the title was.

I read the book in french but am pretty sure it took place in the US (so I'm assuming it's from an American author). I am also quite positive it was written in 1st person POV. I think it was a trilogy but I had only read the 1st book and think I started the 2nd.

- The main character was a 14y/o girl. She ran track and I'm pretty sure her older brother passed away (??), she was struggling with living a normal life after that, I don't think she had an easy homelife. She felt quite relatable to my 14 year old self as she seemed withdrawn from her peers, cynical, and sarcastic. Her thoughts were funny at times and the books stuck with me since it at times felt like I was reading about myself/my struggles.

- The love interest was one of her brother's friends who was more of an aloof troubled teen, I think he used to play ice hockey but was kicked off the team for fighting at some point.
I'm pretty sure one of the last scenes of the 1st book was him punching someone but it might have been a fever dream.
I think there were rumours going around about him being a violent person and it being linked to him getting kicked off the team, but the mc has trouble believing it cause she remembers him as a kind person (I think she often said stuff about his kind and pretty eyes? Not sure).
I vividly remember him being at the very least 17 cause being 14 myself I felt like the age gap was icky and was wondering how that was okay/a thing. It was pretty weird he was interested in her.

Some scenes I remember:

- At some point in the book she goes to the doctor for a checkup and ends up talking about her reproductive health.
- Pretty sure there was also a scene where she was in Art class and was drawing flowers all over the paper cause she didn't know what else to do, the teacher saw that and excitedly asked her if she was interested in textile design. She awkwardly said yes cause how do you admit that's not it at all.
- She once complained about dudes who use Axe deodorant.
(Might have been at the very beginning of book 2).

I know this isn't much, but I'd be grateful for any type of info.
Thanks in advance!

[Becca]

It might be on this list - YA Books ft. Runners

[Fleur]

I couldn't find it on the list but thanks so much for the suggestion! It gave me the idea to also look for it in lists of books with 14y/o protagonists.

[Rainbowheart]

There's a brother's friend with the same age gap in My Heartbeat, but the details don't match.

If the girl talked about contraception with the doctor, it might be on the Birth Control in Fiction list.

[Fleur]

Thank you sooooo much! I found it on the Birth Control in Fiction list like you suggested!
It's called Confessions of an Angry Girl, I can't believe I finally found it!!! I got some (many) details wrong but overall not tol far off!

[Kat]

Confessions of an Angry Girl by Louise Rozett

Glad you found your book!

[Rainbowheart]

Oh, awesome, super glad you found it!