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Allison x Sav
message 501:
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allie
(new)
Dec 30, 2021 11:31PM
It felt like she pulled out his heart and broke it. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay with her. He felt rejected. He didn't get up right away, hesitant to actually go.
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"What?!" she asks exasperated.
He shook his head and got up. He shot a worried glance at her before he unlocked the door and walked out.
As soon as he walked out, she got up and locked the door again laying on the floor where he had just been, beginning to cry, rejected, lost and scared for what her classmates would say. SHE cared, she had wanted to scream. YOU CAN'T PROTECT ME FROM EVERYTHING, but she had held her tongue, now laying here regretting her choices, knowing she had hurt him. But strangely there was no pang in her heart. At this moment, she didn't care. She laid there shaking and sobbing until she heard the final bell, then got up, not bothering to fix her face and walked to her locker.
Chad came up behind her, "Hey babbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Did Little Liam not fulfill you? I'm always there if you need to be filled." He was obviously drunk out of his mind. He leaned in to kiss Skylar right has Liam was walking down the hall.
She pushed him off of her, "WHAT THE FUCK?" she screamed. "Liam isn't little for your information and you're an asshole who is horny cuz no one, yes, no one wants to sleep with you." She's shaking with rage, still having tearstains on her cheeks. She sees Liam and turns around, facing her locker as Chad staggers away. She was thinking, only when Liam says baby did it make her heart jump. Chad saying it felt wrong. Disgusting. She put her AirPods in putting on Big Plans by Why Don't We, thinking about Liam against her will.
Liam wanted to go after Chad, yell at him, but he knew Skylar needed him more. "Skylar," he said, running up to her, "are you okay? What did the asshole do?" He wanted to hug her, but not knowing if she was still mad from earlier, instead he put his hands on her shoulders, "Did he hurt you?"
She turned around, having not heard him. She backs away from him saying, "Oh no, don't touch me, I might try to have *gasp* sex with you." without pulling out her AirPods
Yep. She was still mad. He lowered his arms and noticed the AirPods. He sighed and wished he would've said the thing earlier. "Skylar," he said a little louder, his voice was pleading.
She turned back around to her locker, not letting him decide when they could touch each other.
He was getting a little aggravated. He said something stupid, yes, but he had apologized, multiple times, and offered to walk her to class. She had said she was fine, it was fine. Why was she so mad at him for slipping up? She was the one who had turned their conversation into kissing. He would've been fine with just talking. And then she had been saying how she wanted him. Now that he thought about it, why was he the one apologizing when she led him to believe that she had wanted sex? He knew she could've been that mad at him, Chad had just tried to kiss her. She probably wouldn't stuck up for him either. He sighed and tried again, a bit more forcefully this time, but still pleading, he may have been mad, but that wasn't any reason to be harsh towards her, "Skylar."
Her problem was that she said he wanted him. And he's using that against her, she feels it. She didn't want him to walk her to class because she didn't want to GO to class. She just wanted him to leave. For God's sake, it wasn't just a slip up. He was instigating that she wanted to lose her virginity, yep she'd never been with someone like that on their schools disgusting bathroom floor. When had he gotten so full of himself. She was fully capable of kissing him, without imminently wanting to strip. Yeah, yk what, she had told him that she wanted sex. Why? because she trusted him. Because she thought that for once her words wouldn't be used against her. The way that he was talking, his tone, was telling her that he was about to be angry. Very angry. He said he needed her. She's mad. She wanted to have sex for multiple reasons, but one was definitely being able to at least cope with the horrible comments that would be fs directed at her for being a whore. If she was going to have to take it than she figured they might as well have actually done it. She wasn't being slutty. They were close to doing it already. She didn't understand what his deal was. But she didn't want him to leave her. She pulled out her AirPods, sighed and turned around, waiting for the lecture that was sure to come.
"I don't want to fight with you, okay? I know I screwed up and I asked you a self conceited question. I know I implied that you were ready to do it then and there and that was stupid of me." He paused and thought about his words carefully before continuing, not wanting to make her more mad then she already was. "I was caught up in the moment, you were kissing my stomach, you had just said how you 'wanted me' and 'wanted to do it'. I thought it was happening, and I was scared." He paused again, watching her emotions, "I just want you to know that I was perfectly fine with us just talking. I love kissing, but I love talking too. Even more."
Everyone is watching them. They know what happened earlier and most of them know what Chad said to her, causing her to run out. The one's in Liam's class knew he ran after her. Shit spread fast. Many of them also just saw Skylar push Chad off of her.
So yeah, drama.
Her eyes are blazing. She searches his, seeing that he means it but she's still upset. "So... I made you feel too good and you thought that that's what sex was going to be like. So you freaked out. I know that god dammit." She turns back around, not knowing what to say to him. It wasn't enough. It made her feel like a slutty girl who just wanted to kiss him. She liked talking to him. She also liked kissing him. She just had a lot of emotions and it felt like he was punishing her. Everyone's hanging on to their every word. She turns to them and says, "WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX, goddammit, so stfu, all of you." She doesn't know how he can fix this. She's allowed to be upset and he makes her feel like he can't, like he always has to fix everything. The longer they spent together, the more flaws she saw. She started to cry, not wanting him to see.
So yeah, drama.
Her eyes are blazing. She searches his, seeing that he means it but she's still upset. "So... I made you feel too good and you thought that that's what sex was going to be like. So you freaked out. I know that god dammit." She turns back around, not knowing what to say to him. It wasn't enough. It made her feel like a slutty girl who just wanted to kiss him. She liked talking to him. She also liked kissing him. She just had a lot of emotions and it felt like he was punishing her. Everyone's hanging on to their every word. She turns to them and says, "WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX, goddammit, so stfu, all of you." She doesn't know how he can fix this. She's allowed to be upset and he makes her feel like he can't, like he always has to fix everything. The longer they spent together, the more flaws she saw. She started to cry, not wanting him to see.
He closed his eyes hard and reopened them, he didn't miss the fact that almost the entire school was in the hall watching them. Where was the teachers now? Didn't they have some kind of policy against that shit? "Skylar, you're not a slut. You're not a whore. If I made you feel that way by saying I liked talking more, you should slap me across the face. I didn't, wouldn't, ever mean it like that. I know that you like to talk and saying that I like to talk more was objectifying." He paused for a moment. "Seriously, do it, slap me, as hard as you can. I deserve it. I've been such a jerk to you today." He paused, hesitating a little before saying, "Tell me what you want me to do. I'll do it. I just want to make it up to you."
She whispers, "can we do this somewhere else?" then to the rest of them, "Literally fuck off!!" she roared.
He nodded and backed away from her. "There's nothing to see. Don't you all have places to be?" He yelled, projecting his voice as loud as he could. He watched as most of the students walked away.
She knew they'd be the talk of the school. Whatever she thought. To give him a display of peace and forgiving she held his hand, barely gripping. Her hands are limp and covered with sweat, she knows. She feels horrible. When he'd yelled, she really saw how much this was hurting him. She knew he didn't mean it the way she took it, in the way it hurt her. They walk outside to his car and when he stops, she says, "I'm sorry," before cracking her hand across the other side of his face, the side his father hadn't hit. Her eyes filled with tears and hitting him didn't help. She knew it hurt, her palm stung from the impact. She swallows and says, "I know. I know everything you've told me. It just hurts. And I don't know why. Like I'm standing here wanting to forgive you, to move on and it just hurts, like someone is carving out my soul. I wasn't trying to objectify you and I'm sorry if that's what it made you feel like. I love us talking too, but you don't get to kiss me back and say things like you did and then push me away like I'm a dirty whore. Cuz, you did. And I know you're going to apologize. And I do want to hear it. I'm sorry. It's been 24 hours. Crazy, right? And I'm already pressuring you into sex like a horndog. I don't need it. And sorry, but I wouldn't give it to you at school, on the bathroom floor. We'd probably both get AIDS," knowing full well that that's not how that works. She extends her arms in a hug, leaving space in between them if he doesn't want to, if he doesn't forgive her. Filling the silence, she says, "Obviously, I wasn't like break-up-with-you mad. I think you saw what Chad did. I defended you and I will defend you forever, no matter what happens or if we break up. I will have your back. And I'm sure we'll fight more," she said, "but I don't want to fight anymore. You're probably going to be mad at me and rightfully so." So, with that, she outstretched her arms waiting to see how he was going to react.
As they walked to his car, he held her hand tightly, not caring about the fact they were sweaty. Even though he had told her to slap him, part of him didn't expect it. So when Skylar did slap him, he let out a small wince. At least it now his whole face was red and not just one half. He wasn't mad anymore, he just wanted to comfort her, he know she was hurting. "I deserved that." He whispered before saying, "I'm sorry, Skylar. I said a horrible, assuming, objectifying, thing to you. I know that I hurt you and I feel horrible. The past 24 hours have been amazing. I met you 24 hours ago. We were in that classroom 24 hours ago." He paused and looked at her in the eyes, " We almost definitely would get AIDs."He said with a smile before hugging her. "I saw what the jerk did. Thank you. I'm so sorry he did that to you. I hate fighting with you." He said, holding her, happy that they were resolving their issues. He didn't care that one side of his face was on fire, he hoped it would leave a sign-something to remind him to never be that much of a jerk again.
Skylar saw him flinch and it made her hate herself. She flinched against him, feeling like a horrible person. The fact that he just sat there and took it made it worse. "I'm sorry." she said look down, feeling bad. He hugged her back and she smiled, just slightly, knowing he wasn't as mad anymore. "It's okay. Chad's just a jerk like you said. He even makes baby sound bad." she says smiling. She put her hands around his torso, pulling him close. "I'm sorry I hit you." her eyes sparkling.
"It's okay," he said with a small smile, "I deserved it." He gazed into her beautiful eyes, "I'm sorry." He put his arms around her neck gently.
She shakes her head, "I never wanted to hit you. I didn't want to be like Jacks- I didn't want to stoop to that level, because I know you'd never hit me." She gazes up at him, a tear running down her cheek, "I'm sorry I messed everything up."
Sure enough, now half of the school was in the parking lot watching them again, she stiffens in his arms.
Sure enough, now half of the school was in the parking lot watching them again, she stiffens in his arms.
He felt her tense up, he pulled out of their hug and opened the door, "There," he said once they were both in the car. "a bit of privacy." Liam saw there were tears running down cheek, he reached over and wiped the tear away, "You didn't mess anything up, it's okay. You will never be like my father, okay? I deserved it."
She curls up in a ball and says, "Hit me."
"No. I'm not going to hit you." Liam said, "I've already hurt you enough today."
She looks at him and said, "I hurt you and I hit you. Hit me." she says wanting to hurt like she hurt him.
He started to cry, silently. If he hit her, hurt her, he would never be able to forgive himself. He shook his head, "God, I'm sorry, Skylar." He slowly took his hand which was shaking and slowly, but not exactly softly, hit her on her cheek. "I'm so sorry."
She flinches and begins to cry. "it's okay."
People were gathering around their car, videoing him hitting her. They probably got her hitting him too.
People were gathering around their car, videoing him hitting her. They probably got her hitting him too.
Still crying, he honked his car horn and left the parking lot. He quickly drove home and turned to her, "I'm sorry, Skylar, I'm so sorry I hurt you."
She's sobbing and says, "it's fine. I wanted you to." His parents car is in the driveway.
He gathered her in a hug, "I hurt you." He said, mad at himself. Why had he done that? She's crying because of you. The voice was back.
"No. It's NOT your fault." She says looking at him. "Don't tell yourself that. You didn't hit me in anger or rage and you didn't want to. You're not abusive. You just did what I asked," she said turning away crying.
Lillian came running out of the house. She banged on the car window, Liam rolled down the window. "Why are you bot- Liam? Is she okay? What happened?" She hasn't noticed they each had slap markings. "Did you two slap each other? Liam, did you slap her?" She asked, noticing the slap markings.
Skylar smiles, the tears still free flowing, "We just got into an argument, don't worry, it's okay, really." she said, sounding unconvincing and knowing it. She knew that Lillian was going to freak out.
Lillian did in fact freak out, "Just because you get into an argument, does not mean you can slap her, Liam." She reached into the car and unlocks the door. She opened the door and pulled Liam out. "Go to your room. I'm having a talk with Skylar." She sat in the car and closed the door. "Are you okay, sweetie?"
"Don't be too hard on him. I slapped him first." she said, unsure if she should tell her what really happened.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Lillian asked, shocked that she slapped him first.
"We um. skipped class and were doing stuff." Skylar relents, blushing. He made a comment that was horrible. It was horrible, assuming, objectifying and I walked away from him. Then this one guy came up to my locker and said, "Hey babbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Did Little Liam not fulfill you? I'm always there if you need to be filled." He was drunk out of his mind. He leaned in to kiss me and Liam was walking towards me. I pushed him away and screamed at him and Liam walked up and I ignored him and he told me to smack him. We left, going to his car to try to get away, everyone was watching, recording. So, when we were out there I slapped him. And then we got in trying to once again, get away from everyone recording what was happening and I asked him to smack me. I hurt him and I wanted to hurt to pay back for it." she says crying, curled up in a ball, wondering how it got this bad. "He didn't want to, he fought me, but I kept asking so he did and then he started crying and yeah. Now we're here."
Lillian nods, "Wow. So a lot happened today?" She asked with a small smile. "Don't cry sweetheart. It's okay." She hands her a tissue that magically appeared (bc it's lillian bruh). "Here's what I think. You two met yesterday. I know you said you met in English class, but I know teenagers better than that. If you want to tell me what really happened feel free, but you don't have to. Anyways, you two are teenagers who have a lot of pressure on their shoulders. Your relationship is new, isn't it? Maybe, you two are moving a little too fast? If you two were," she paused, "doing stuff, maybe he was just scared, maybe this amazing relationship needs to slow down?" She takes a deep breath, "He really cares about you, Skylar. He stood up to a man he idolizes to protect you. I don't know all the details, but he cares about you so much. Whatever comment he did make, he didn't mean it in the horrible, assuming, and objectifying way it was." She paused again, smiling a little, "Plus, guys can be jerks sometimes."
((ofc Lillian just had one))
She looks at Lillian, scared. "I have anorexia." she blurts out. "I've been in and out of psych wards and Liam knows that and we met by me crying in the hallway and falling onto the floor. He helped me to a classroom and made me eat. And about my family, yeah it's me and my dad but he's a drunk. He doesn't know I exist. Yeah I know, we're moving fast, but it's not like it's just me. I was just doing something we'd done and he freaked out saying I was trying to have sex with him. I wasn't. It wasn't even like that." she takes a breath, "I know he cares, that makes it worse. And I smacked him for it." she says still crying, curled up.
She looks at Lillian, scared. "I have anorexia." she blurts out. "I've been in and out of psych wards and Liam knows that and we met by me crying in the hallway and falling onto the floor. He helped me to a classroom and made me eat. And about my family, yeah it's me and my dad but he's a drunk. He doesn't know I exist. Yeah I know, we're moving fast, but it's not like it's just me. I was just doing something we'd done and he freaked out saying I was trying to have sex with him. I wasn't. It wasn't even like that." she takes a breath, "I know he cares, that makes it worse. And I smacked him for it." she says still crying, curled up.
((ofc, also liam didnt know about the psych wards wtf))Lillian watches and listens, really listens. "I know it wasn't all you, sweetie. Liam made a ridiculously stupid comment." She handed Skylar another tissue, "It's okay sweetie." Lillian let her cry for a moment, "Do you want to go inside? Or would you like some away time from him? If you do, we can go wherever you want right now. He left his keys in here."
She's torn. She doesn't know if Liam wants to see her or if she should leave. "I should probably go talk to him otherwise it's just going to get worse. I know it tore him apart slapping me. Even though I told him to." she sighed. Skylar leans over the console hugging Lillian. "I wish you were my mum." She said, still teary eyed. With that she gets out of the car, going to her love.
Lillian hugs her back and nods, "Take it easy on him, okay? He wants what's best for you." Lillian herself, wiped her own tears as she watched Skylar go inside the house. No one had ever told her that before. Liam was on sitting on his bed with his hands in his head. He knew that Lillian and Skylar were talking, but was she okay? Was she mad that he had actually slapped her?
She walks slowly up the stairs, ignoring Jackson, who surely saw the slap marks on both of their faces, undoubtedly seeing the tears and the pain they were both in. She knocks on his door, which was closed and sits down against it. She says, "Sit by the door. I think we need the barrier."
He runs over to the door and sits down, "I'm here."
She slides her hand under the door and says, "What have we done?" sounding horrible
He sees her hand and takes it, not picking it up, but putting his hand on top of hers. "I think we just messed up. Made mistakes."
She feels his hand and smiles slightly, "They were pretty big mistakes." she says sadly. "Also, your father," she whispers, "he's listening."
"Do you want to come in? I can sit in one corner, wherever you want, really. As far or as close as you want." He suggested, knowing how his father made her feel.
She takes a deep breath thinking, her father or him? Who was she more afraid to be in the same room as? She stands up and says, "Just don't touch me." she says, feeling dirty, like she's broken and bruised.
