A BOYS VERSION OF FANCY-NANCY WITH A MEDICAL TWIST

[John]

After being stung by a bumblebee, Maxx realizes he is allergic, and needs to see a doctor right away! What will happen when Maxx meets Doctor Z? Will Maxx be okay?

[John]

Here is the full text; if you would like a pdf (which includes the pictures), please email me. We appreciate your reviews, warm regards John & Catherine Higgins :

John and Catherine Higgins Word count: 800
5655 Wickersham Ln
Houston, TX 77056 USA
713-497-9438
johnpatrickhiggins@gmail.com
www.marvelousmaxx.com

Marvelous Maxx and the Bumblebee
By John and Catherine Higgins
“Help!” I shout. Bloomberg has snatched my chocolate bar! He is one fast, naughty dog. My little brother is playing ball. Bloomberg runs toward him. “Ethan, grab him!” I yell. Ethan looks up.
I shout even louder, “Grab Bloomberg, Ethan! Chocolate is toxic for dogs!” Toxic means harmful. But Ethan is only four and he doesn’t know this yet.
Even so, Ethan grabs Bloomberg’s tail. Bloomberg stops in surprise and drops the chocolate. Yesss! I pick the bar up quickly and grin. “Excellent job, Ethan!” Excellent means super-good.
Ethan and I play kick. I’m wearing my blue soccer jersey. All of a sudden, I hear buzzing. Oh no... A gigantic bumblebee is chasing me! Gigantic is a cool word for super-sized.
Ethan runs inside. I flail my arms at the bumblebee. Flail is a marvelous way of saying wave wildly.
But it makes no difference. The buzzing gets louder and the bumblebee zooms closer! I sprint towards the house. Sprint means run real fast! But I can’t get away quickly enough and – “Ouch!” The bumblebee stings me! I crunch my teeth together and swat the buzzing stripe away. Swat is a cool word for slap.
The bee has gone but the pain from the sting is intense! Intense means very strong… owww! My neck starts to itch and I feel a little out of breath. “Mom!” I scream.
Mom runs outside. “Maxx!” she cries. “What’s wrong?” I gulp in some air. “I think I’m allergic to bumblebee stings!” I gasp. Allergic means something can make you turn red, swell up, and find it hard to breathe.
Mom looks alarmed. Alarmed means worried and scared. “You’re as red as a strawberry, Maxx!” she says. “We need to get you to the doctor.”
Mom bundles me and Ethan into the car and takes me to see Doctor Z. Doctor Z is brilliant and gorgeous. “Brilliant” means super-smart and “gorgeous” means very pretty. Her badge says “Doctor Kristy Zhang.”
“Hi, Maxx.” Doctor Z smiles. “I heard you’ve been fighting a bumblebee.” “Maybe.” I feel a bit stupid and glance down. Glance means look quickly. “You must be very brave,” Doctor Z says. I look back up at her. My cheeks feel warm.
“I think my blood histamine is high,” I tell her. Your body makes histamine during an allergic reaction. Repeat after me: his-tuh-meen.
Doctor Z looks surprised. “How old are you?” she asks. “I just turned seven.” She gives me an even bigger smile. “Maxx, you are wicked smart!” she says. “I hope you know that.” Now it’s not just my cheeks that feel warm. I’m warm inside too.
Doctor Z sits down next to me. “Maxx, let’s make a deal, okay?” I nod my head. “Okay.” “If you let me give you a shot,” she says, “I will give you a blue tongue depressor.” A tongue depressor is what doctors use to press your tongue down when they need to look in your throat. It’s like a gigantic Popsicle stick.
I nod again. “Deal.” I love all doctor things. Doctor Z gives me the shot. It stings my arm a little. “But not as bad as the bumblebee,” I tell her. “Wow!” Doctor Z replies. “You’re tough as well as smart!”
Doctor Z gets a piece of paper from her desk. She folds the sheet into a paper airplane and puts the tongue depressor inside. Then she tosses the airplane towards me. It glides through the air and lands on my lap. Glide means move in a smooth motion. I feel my face break into a huge grin. I love the paper airplane and the tongue depressor.
“Now, Maxx,” says Doctor Z. “Here are some tips so you won’t get stung again. Bumblebees get excited when you move. So if you hear one buzzing around, freeze like a statue.” She points to my blue jersey. “And believe it or not, bumblebees are attracted to blue clothes.” Attracted means drawn to. “Got it?” Doctor Z asks. “Got it,” I reply.
I look in the mirror on Doctor Z’s wall. The redness on my skin has disappeared. So has the pain. Disappeared means gone. And I give Doctor Z a gigantic hug.
At home, I put the tongue depressor in my pocket. Then Ethan and I fly the airplane in our room. Bloomberg runs in, jumps, and catches it in his mouth.
I look at Ethan. We are both exhausted, which means totally tired out. We can’t be bothered to chase Bloomberg, so we let him escape. Escape is a super way to say slip away.
Mom and Dad come in. They kiss us goodnight. “Goodnight, Doctor Maxx. Goodnight, Ethan,” they say. I tuck my blue tongue depressor under my pillow. “Considering I got stung by bumblebee,” I say, “this actually turned into a pretty cool day.”

Maxx’s cool new words
Toxic – harmful
Excellent – super-good
Gigantic – super-sized
Flail – wave wildly
Sprint – run real fast
Swat – slap
Intense – very strong
Allergic – something can make you turn red, swell up, and find it hard to breathe
Alarmed – worried and scared
Brilliant – super-smart
Gorgeous – very pretty
Glance – look quickly
Histamine – something made in your body during an allergic reaction
Glide – move in a smooth motion
Attracted – drawn to
Disappeared – gone
Exhausted – totally tired out
Escape – slip away


END

[Cheryl, Host of Miscellaneous and Newbery Clubs]

Rules say One Post per Quarter.

This group focuses on readers, not authors. The active members and moderators seldom visit this folder or read books that are not traditionally published.

Better luck elsewhere.

[John]

Cheryl wrote: "Rules say One Post per Quarter.

This group focuses on readers, not authors. The active members and moderators seldom visit this folder or read books that are not traditionally published.

Better ..."

Dear Cheryl - can you please help me? Where should we post our book on Goodreads to get peoples comments / reviews? We posted it in this thread but nobody has commented / reviewed it? thanks in advance, John & Catherine Higgins

[Cheryl, Host of Miscellaneous and Newbery Clubs]

This is the only place in this group.

It's very difficult to get people to read and review a self-published book. I have heard that there are other groups for authors on goodreads where you might have better luck, but we aren't for authors here.

[Thomas]

John wrote: "Here is the full text; if you would like a pdf (which includes the pictures), please email me. We appreciate your reviews, warm regards John & Catherine Higgins :

John and Catherine Higgins Word ..."

I think the concept is wonderful for a reader! However, please do grammar check as some adjectives need to be adverbs. Perhaps, more character development. For example, an explanation as to how Maxx is so intelligent as to know the word histamine.
Leave the words at the end in a definition section for parents to explain those words to their child with whom they are reading alongside. The parents can flip to the back to introduce the word and meaning during the reading. Or have back pages printed in perforated word cards with the meanings on the back. Then the parent can test their child on spelling and meaning, once reading has concluded?

Donna

[Cheryl, Host of Miscellaneous and Newbery Clubs]

Btw, interesting neighborhood you live in. Neat how each house is so different from the others around it. I didn't see any Little Free Libraries around, though. You should consider using them....

[Thomas]

John wrote: "After being stung by a bumblebee, Maxx realizes he is allergic, and needs to see a doctor right away! What will happen when Maxx meets Doctor Z? Will Maxx be okay?"

Btw, congrats on being able to place your book in a Let's Read format and on Amazon through a publishing company. I hope you do well in your sales! :) I don't have a grandchild in that age bracket currently. They are much older and much younger. :) But I'm glad you're attempting to reach an audience that is often left out when it comes to step-into-reading.
I will say however, the words themselves and word count are a wee bit over age 4-8 reading audience. Seven to Eight perhaps, but younger than that, it's a struggle for the national reading initiatives for 20 minutes a night.
Just remember, an easy level 1 is supposed to be easy. I know you two are at the top of your fields and highly educated, but if reading is a struggle and not a joy, it doesn't encourage more reading.
Kudos!

[John]

Thomas wrote: "John wrote: "After being stung by a bumblebee, Maxx realizes he is allergic, and needs to see a doctor right away! What will happen when Maxx meets Doctor Z? Will Maxx be okay?"

Btw, congrats on b..."

Thomas thanks so much for your feedback and email - very very much appreciated - 2nd book out now on Amazon too : https://www.amazon.com/Marvelous-Maxx...

[John]

Thomas wrote: "John wrote: "Here is the full text; if you would like a pdf (which includes the pictures), please email me. We appreciate your reviews, warm regards John & Catherine Higgins :

John and Catherine H..."

Thanks Donna for your amazing feedback and comments - much appreciated - next book just out fyi https://www.amazon.com/Marvelous-Maxx...
cheers John