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On finding time to write
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Renee wrote: "I couldn't agree more J. My mother also had dreams that went unlived simply because her life got in the way. She's only 54, and would love to try writing but refuses."It took me a long time, Renee, to learn to enjoy the process and forget about publication. Still, publication, sharing the fruits of one's labor, is part of the creative process. Even God seeks validation for his creation.
My goal is publication, but I've decided to be realistic. Not all of your work will be published, unless of course you are very lucky. I know that not everything can be a gem. I believe mine will be. I work hard at it and eventually I'll see reward for that. But I also know I'll be fine if it isn't.
Renee wrote: "My goal is publication, but I've decided to be realistic. Not all of your work will be published, unless of course you are very lucky. I know that not everything can be a gem..."A famous writer (I can't recall who--something I failed to write down!) once said, "If you don't write for publication, what's the point?"
I agree with that. Not that there's anything wrong with keeping a journal if you don't desire to publish; but when one spends hundreds, thousands of hours on a text, the next logical step is to publish.
Good luck with all your literary endeavors.
Of course, and I don't plan to stop knocking on doors, even if I don't get the answer I want until I'm 90 and they have to shout for me to hear them. I'll keep plugging away. 
I'm busy with kids, work, and housework duties too. But I make myself write at least one or two sentences a day. On good days I can write much more than that.Writing is something I positively must squeeze into my life or I start to feel grumpy. Sort of like exercise...
Interesting discussion. Thanks to Mairead for starting it.In my opinion, the folks who say that "you will make it happen if you want to" are spot-on. Now, there are some days when one project is "cooking" more than another one, certainly. Those are the days when I set down the project that is just not gelling and work on another that's been back-burnered.
It took me three years to write In The Eye of The Beholder A Novel of The Phantom of the Opera, in between working a day job, promoting an independent film, taking up equestrian sport at the age of 40 and a whole host of other things. Les Pensees Dangereuses was borne of a different project that I found myself unable to finish; it took about four months, most of which was spent reviewing essays I had written over the years to decide what I wanted to include. The lion's share of the work was already done, so that made it easier.
I have a day job, and I also write a newspaper column. I have pets with medical issues that must be managed. We are empty-nesters nowadays, with my stepson in the Navy. However, I discovered that kids can be taught that now is personal time for Mom, even when they are very little. Obviously babes-in-arms are a different matter. There is nothing wrong with setting aside 20 minutes a day for your writing; in fact, it's good for you. Patrick is right about the difference between wanting and needing your attention.
Here's a tip for the rest of the moms out there - thanks to my 6 year old.About an hour ago, he asked me for the crayons and some paper because he and his 3 year old brother wanted to write a story. The 3 year old is drawing the pictures, the 6 year old is "writing" the story. I've had to check on them twice because they've been awfully quiet (usually a really bad sign) but they are totally engrossed in the project. Won't let me see it - later, when it's done, or so I've been told.
May be the start of the next generation of writers...
Whoever says writing is easy hasn’t ever done it. Too many other things pop up like angry little weasels to get my attention. Did I read my e-mail? Does the furnace boiler have enough water? My migraine hurts too much! I need to read more of that book. The kids are fighting! The dog wants in! Maybe I should write a poem instead! Maybe I should start a different book since I’m stuck with the current one...No matter what, the worst difficulty is procrastination. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow – though I haven’t the luxury of putting anything off. Writing isn’t any easier than sculpting or painting. The blank page is little different from the block of stone or empty canvas: it needs to be attacked, to be reduced to two things, the final art and the jumble of crud left over.
Finding the time to perform my art, despite my perpetual two to four hours of sleep every night (pain induced insomnia) , isn’t the problem. The problem is finding the strength to sit at my desk and do the writing that leads to the completion of the work.
I have to get up super-early before anyone in the household in order to write. If I don't, the time is devoured by work, childcare, and other responsibilities. I find time to read on my lunch break, while waiting for the bus, and during our family quiet reading time.
M. wrote: "Whoever says writing is easy hasn’t ever done it. Too many other things pop up like angry little weasels to get my attention. Did I read my e-mail? Does the furnace boiler have enough water? ... No matter what, the worst difficulty is procrastination."Absolutely, "M"!!! Swapping from a keyboard to a pencil/pen doesn't help either. I truly believe that I don't fear the writing as much as the possibility of failure. I know that's it. As long as I put it off, I never have to risk myself being wordless.
This helps, though. I scratched the following quote (from a writing handbook) onto a rather longish piece of paper and propped it in front of my monitor: "Don't get it right; get it written." I'm now working on a book review that was due last week. Guess what I'm doing instead? Posting on GoodReads. Does it ever end??? (Don't get it right; get it written. Don't get it right; get it written. Don't get it right; get it written.)
Now, back to the essay . . . until I read my email and see that someone else has responded to this board . . .
Trish
Well when i go on my home computer and im on a laptop i have actually written my own twilight story like a continuence to it and i would like people to read it next time i get on! i just wrote them because i was really obsessed and wanted to write my verson of the next book! which there is none of :(
I have enjoyed reading the comments on this thread. I too have a husband and family and it is tough to find time to write. I hadn't touched my most recent manuscript for three weeks and I finally set myself a goal for this weekend. I said I WILL write 5000K words this weekend. I challenged myself and made my challenge public on a few forums that I participate in and a few other authors joined in with me. I met my goal!I think I may need to do that for myself from now on. It seems to help. I know people have a certain word goal per day that seems to help. I even have a spreadsheet that a friend designed for me that keeps track of how many words you've written compared to your goal.
I find my most productive time is an hour right after dinner while the kids are doing homework and the husband is watching the news. I also edit for my publisher so I try to alternate days. Hopefully that will work better in the future.
Easy is not in my vocabulary! :0)
L. wrote: "I was reading this thread again and it hit me when reading about the children that a lot of you mention.When I was much younger and my children were pre-school and grade school age, I used their ..."
It's funny you should say "Quit Whining and just write" because that was exactly what I was doing these last three weeks. Once I set my goal and got down to business I was amazed at how good it felt. Like coming home from a long trip to your own bed. Ahhh!
L.I don't believe anyone was whining about anything. I think we were discussing how each of us find time to write, and the things that may or may not be challenges for each of us.
I have worn ALL the hats as well, and am lucky enough to work from home now. But that does not mean it is always easy to find time to write. I do it, but it's a struggle to balance everything.
I think everyone's circumstances are different, therefore it is impossible to judge how serious someone is about their writing. How often a person writes, or how much does not reflect how much they want to do it.
I don't know how you did it, but good for you that you were able to. I have a child who was born hearing impaired, she has only recently been healthy enough that we aren't at the doctor's office or the hospital at least once each month. I also have other children and worked 50 hours each week. Am I whining? No, definitely not. I still made time here and there to pursue my dream, but some days, it was impossible because life didn't allow it.
Does that mean I'm not a serious writer? I don't think so. It means I'm a mom first, that is a choice I made long ago and it is a role I plan on doing to the best of my ability. My dream of writing full-time may not happen as soon as it could, but I wouldn't sacrifice these years with my kids for anything. No matter how passionate I am about it.
Didn't mean to insinuate that anyone but me was whining. Sorry if it came across that way. Being a MOM is by far my most important job, then my day job, then writing. I agree 100% that how much time does not reflect a desire. Even when I can't find the time I still think about my novel all the time. We are all different in our approach and we all achieve our goals in our own time.
I agree that we will find the time. Otherwise, the dream of writing is just that. I get irritated though when I hear statements that say writing is as simple as making time and doing it, because it is not. I wish it were. For some, men and women, the demands of work, family, and life make it very difficult to find that time they need to write and write well. Sure you can find an hour or two, but is it the kind of time where you can really work at your craft? This is the kind of time that is rare, especially when you have other responsibilities.
I admire you and your obvious strength for finding your time despite the demands of a hyperactive child. Believe me, I understand the struggle you went through.
I have always 'written', that is nothing new. But writing seriously, with the goal of being published and making my passion my career has had to take a backseat until recent years. To be honest, though I loved it, I didn't see it as a realistic goal.
Now things have slowed down, it's my turn and I'm taking advantage of it. My point is that some people aren't at the point we are at, where they can see the possibiities or grab them. So to say to them it is as simple as 'making time' isn't quite right. Yes, they have to start somewhere, but it is a long, uphill climb to being published and they should realize that. If they have other things that take priority it will be even longer. It doesn't mean they don't want it. Does that make sense?
You know, I've found that each writer deals with writing time differently. Writing is very important to me because it's 'me' time. I'm fortunate enough to have a great husband who makes sure I have that time.I'm a mother of 8. Four are out on their own now and I used to think that when that happened, I would have more time to write. I've found that I have the same time I always had, I just 'do' it. I home school during the day, write some at noon and then write late at night.
When I'm trying to finish a project, my husband is extra awesome. He usually gives me one of his free hotel nights he earns from traveling. He stays with the kids, I check myself in and do nothing but write.
I truly enjoy writing, and if I never got another book published I would continue to write. It's fun to get out of my world and into the world of my characters:-)
I finished the book review! Now, back to writing poetry . . .
Jewel;Free hotel nights? You lucky woman. I am jealous. 8 kids!? Oh my goodness.
I wish we could all be as lucky to have such an understanding spouse. My hubby does what he can, but sees my writing as little more than a hobby yet. Perhaps when it begins to show some fruit he'll see things differently. That said, he doesn't discourage me, he's as excited as I am when I finish something. Though that could be because I'm not so obsessed with getting it done anymore.
You definitely have things organized perfectly, although 4 have moved out, you still have 4 more kids at home which is a huge responsibility. My hat is off to you.
I'm going to see what I can do about free motel nights, though I don't know if I'll manage to go on my own.
Renee, I concur that it is worth getting out of the house for a homemade writers' retreat (checking into a hotel without distractions). I have done this in the past as well. If your husband argues that he can't make dinner for the kids (or whatever), tell him that they can order a pizza and no one will expire of malnutrition. :-)You have to carve out writing opportunities where you find them. Someone way up the thread stated that we write because we feel compelled to do so, and I agree. I polled my friends and very few of them have ever felt inclined to write a book (fiction or non-fiction) ... and I've just published my third. I'm not making vast sums of money, but it represents a goal that I've had for as long as I can remember.
Renee wrote: "Jewel;Free hotel nights? You lucky woman. I am jealous. 8 kids!? Oh my goodness.
I wish we could all be as lucky to have such an understanding spouse. My hubby does what he can, but sees my..."
Hey thanks, Renee.
Even if you can't do the hotel thing, if you can, and if you have a laptop, go and spend the day at the library at one of the little desk. I've done that before on my husband's day off or when there is no school. You just concentrate on your book, go have some lunch, then go back to the library and write some more.
I tell ya, if I didn't have a bit of time to write I'd go out of my mind. I tell my kids I love them, but if they want me to keep loving them, then I'm going to have to take a time out of a couple of hours:D Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't:-)
Renee is absolutely correct. I told my kids (when they were still home) that I had a life, too. I was fine with being a band mommy, a cheerleader at various ball games, and so on, but I expected--and demanded--"me" time (to spend writing) as compensation. I also agree with her about spending time at the library, park, coffee house, etc. If a person with small children doesn't sometimes leave the house, that person can be too "available" and can be disturbed.
tlj
I make time to read. five minutes reading is better than five minutes snoozing. I read while smoking outside, i read while cooking tea, i read while eating etc...
Tracey;That's when I write too. I don't smoke in the house, but I do in the garage outside, the kids aren't allowed in there so it's perfect. So, I tell them I'm going for a smoke, grab a coffee and the laptop and I hide out for a while, if my husband is home it is often an hour at a time. Gets cold in the winter though. Kurt just bought me a cool little heater for my 'office' as he calls it.
I feel compelled to write as well, Jewel. I don't feel 'complete' if I haven't written at least something each day. This compulsion mystifies my friends, they don't get it. Which is probably why although they say they'd like to write a book, they never have.
A writer's retreat sounds heavenly. Just me and four walls and my computer. I don't know if I'd come home. (of course I would, they'd find me anyway)
I'm published with 3 publishers. For me, writing is a love, from the heart, but it's also a business.I treat it as such.
I work full time and then come home to my part-time job - writing - 20-26 hrs a week.
My kids (teens) are old enough to fend for themselves, and my husband does a lot of the cooking and laundry. The cleaning? Well, once a week, everyone pitches in for an hour and we tidy up. (pick up the big chunky bits, vacuum and sweep up dog hair). The kids do the dishes every night, and keep their rooms up.
Because I look at it as a business (job) so do they and they treat it as such. So does my husband, esp. when the checks roll in and I'm taking everyone on vacations.
How you treat your writing time, whether it's "whenever" or something "sacred" is up to you, but how you see it is how others will see it.
That includes the times I'm in chats on loops, doing promos - I'm at work, just at home.
It's the only way I can produce the number of books I do each year.
Lynn
It's definitely tough balancing a day job and trying to find time to write. Mind you, I'm divorced and don't have children so I have less demands on my time than many people. The tough thing is getting into the writing headspace. I can find time but clearing the clutter from my head is difficult. I will scribble down ideas at lunch time but I have to finish work, get home and switch gears before the juices flow.It took me four years to write my novel and another year to add the online component. Some nights I would only manage a few paragraphs. Sticking with it and training my brain to get to the "writing place" was the key.
I keep hoping to find a Harry Potter "time turner" so I can do two things at once!
Oh, if you do, can you pick up one for me too? I would love one of those.
Renee wrote: "Oh, if you do, can you pick up one for me too? I would love one of those."Ditto--double ditto!!!
Trish
Let's start a list, so he doesn't forget.
I'll pick up a bunch on my next visit to Hogwarts.
Hey Everyone,Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the discussion.
Keep writing!
Mairead
I'm always writing, because I do like 99% of my writing in my head. I have always done this. I can be talking to someone and writing in my head at the same time. Now sometimes, I have to find the time to sit down and write or should I say type, what was already written in my head.
I have never had writer's block, so I don't know what that feels like, but I have walked in "I don't feel like writing" shoes. Sometimes, when I get home, I don't want to transfers what's in my head onto my computer. Sometimes, I go for days, before transferring the information.
I love writing though. It's so relaxing.
In reading everyone’s posts, it seems like writing is taking a back seat to everything else (life in general). Don’t get me wrong, it took me three and a half years to write my book so I’m there, struggling with everyone else. But it made me think; why do I write (or why do you write?) Is it a hobby, something to do or to fulfil a dream or to make a new career? One writer wrote and said she treats it like a second job, writing 20-25 hours a week. In my opinion if you want to be successful, that is the mindset you have to have or else you’ll be like me and crank one out every 3-4 years, again, nothing at all wrong with that. But I think maybe the question should be instead of, when do you find time to write, it should be, why do you write?What is your motivation? If you want a career of it, then your mindset has to change from a hobby to a job (something I’m working through now.) Yes, life will continue to challenge you on that and throw you curveballs but you have to stay focused on your goal. We all have our own unique set of living circumstance to deal with but we all also have the desire to tell stories. How many we tell and how often is ultimately our own choice.
As a full time teacher I wish I had the time I had back at University to spend quality time with all my writing. As is, I have to rush a lot and then go back to polish it up, since I have to do everything myself. fortunately i've recently found an editor friend willing to help me along for free (but I insist on paying her).So how do I find time, I carry a labtop and squeeze every exhausting moment out of the day until the weekend when I can spend as much time as I want with my work:)
As long as I can remember, snatches of ideas on what to write would show up in my mind. I rarely made the time to do anything with those snatches. Then, suddenly, this June, the snatches took over. Now I can't stop. I find it difficult to concentrate on work, family, friends. I try to harness this obessesion to constantly be writing by waking up early and taking an hour and a half before work to write. I write on my lunch break. My job sends me into the field a lot so if I have a thought along the way, I write the basics of it down as soon as I get where I am going so I have it for later. Everything I have read says that writing is a really hard balancing act and I am finding that to be true. I'm trying though! 
I thought retirement would do it for me, but so far my ideas (as usual) come to me when I can't write them down, and then they are gone and I can't recapture the wording which fit the best. I can no longer keep my hand steady to handwrite my ideas, but hope to have a laptop at some time so I can actually think & do at the same time! Unfortunately, money is my biggest drawback. I used to keep a paper by the bed in case something came to mind during the night. So, I'm still not a writer but have not given up hope. I just hope that senility doesn't get me before I can realize my dream! ;-)
Second Wind Publishing
Books mentioned in this topic
Les Pensees Dangereuses (other topics)In The Eye of The Beholder: A Novel of The Phantom of the Opera (other topics)
That's why I decided to go for what I love, which is writing. I did what I should do for years, and now it's time for me. I sacrifice what I need to for my kids, that will probably always be the case, but if I don't try this it sets a bad example for them.
My daughters are proud of the fact that aside from the regular stuff like work and family and ugh, housework, I am fulfilling a dream I've always had. If nothing gets published, I'll be okay with that. A little depressed, but still okay. I enjoy writing either way. It's a lot like reading a good book, getting lost in writing your characters and their stories. I can't imagine not doing it now.
It's a good thing my mom raised me to be the opposite of her personality. Though, I do wish I had her patience.
My oldest has started writing stuff of her own and I'm encouraging it. She's always been creative, but never really pushed to see what her abilities were. She's a darn good writer for 10 years old. I hope that she's able to pursue this from the start, not later like I have when there is so much to balance.