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The rp meant to be (DeanandCasxMerlin)
message 251:
by
chailatte
(new)
Dec 23, 2014 09:30PM
Dean sighed," Can I come see you Cas? I need to know if you're alright." I need to know if you hate me.
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"Yeah...yeah."Cas told him the address of the hospital, his breathing wavering about half-way through. Maybe they would let him out soon...he felt pretty much fine.
The only thing that was bothering him was the way Gabriel kept staring at him when he didn't think Cas was looking. It was irritating-the sad, condescending angry look he'd seen so many times.
Dean quietly grabbing random clothing off the floor, he had to be hurry, visiting hours may be over soon. He grabbed his car keys and tip toed out of the room. No way is he waking Charlie up. Just as he got into the hallway, he heard laughter, Gilda's and Charlie's laughter. Dean let out a groan, what the hell are those two doing?! He has to see his friend!
Gabriel took the phone from Cas and hung it up, sitting down next to him, a stony expression on his face"That asshat's coming here?"
"Yeah, I guess."
" You guess " Gabe said, sarcasm dripping from each syllable. He rolled his eyes angrily
Dean started to bite on his bottom lip, and then let out a small gasp when he started to hear moaning and grunting. Oh shit, they were going to go all the way. dean couldn't just walk in on them, Charlie would be mortified, guess he just had to wait them out.
Cas ignored him, staring at his hands awkwardly
So far its been slightly over an hour before Dean could fi ally sneak past them and into baby. He sighed softly when he hears her purr. I am on my way Cas.
He breathed out softly as Gabe got up, leaving the bad spring-matress badly unbalanced.
After a couple minutes of driving Dean finally arrived, he jogged towards the entrance.
Cas got up as the door opened, expecting to see Dean, ubt instead being greeted with a gloomy nurse, her face having that same pitying look as Gabriel's...except slightly less angry. Just sadness."Hellooo Mister..." She flipped through her notepad, looking for his name "...Novak! Frequent flier, huh."
"I suppose you could call me that."
"You have been going to the rehabilitation center, like you were told to, right?"
"Yeah."
"Your brother can vouch for that?" She said, turning to Gabriel, who was staring out the window, uncharacteristically silent. He nodded.
She looked awkward, almost at a loss for what to tell him to do. Finally, she wrote him some sort of pass, shoving it at him.
"I suppose you can be released in three days...then. But you still have to attend the group therapy, and rehabilitation centers..."
Dean wasn't sure how Cas was going to react, they last time the met, wasn't the best. Dean just wants to forgot what happened, the guilt was unbearable. He took three steps at a time, and in no time he finally he reached Cas's room. He looked around before knocking on the door.
Cas jumped at a knock on the door, and the nurse went ever so slowly to answer it"Hello?"
Dean smiled at the ground." I'm here to see Castiel." he mumbled quietly.
"He's here." She said, but only moved to block the door "Are you family?"
Dean blinked." Why the hell does this matter? I want to see Cas." Dean said stubbornly.
The nurse rolled her eyes at his antics and stepped aside. Evidently he was frustrated, and it wasn't really worth it.Cas raised his eyebrows at the sight of Dean in the doorway, standing up to greet him.
Dean rushed towards Cas and crouched down." Cas...C-Cas..." Dean's voice broke and tears started to form." I thought you were doing to die." he whispered sadly.
"I think that was my intention."He heard Gabriel leave the room.
Dean rolled his eyes." You're an @$$ Castiel." Dean whispered brokenly. " All I wanted was to just be your friend." And maybe even something more, Dean's mind added.
"...by attempting to cheat on your wife with me? I'm not a toy for someone bored and bi-curious, Dean. I'm emotionally fragile right now, and for a while, I thought you understood that. But there's evidently nothing you expect from me except for an easy lay, you..." Cas faded off, his voice cracking near the end, to his own surprise.
Dean frowned." Castiel, why do you keep saying that? Why do you keep on insisting that I have a wife to come home everyday? Do I look like a married man?" Dean started chew on his bottom lip." Do I really look like a manwhore to you?" he asked in his gruff voice.
"So Charlie isn't even considered to be your wife anymore? I'm not calling you a "manwhore", Dean, I'm calling you a adulterer." He felt tears brimming in his eyes
"Oh my f*cking lord!" Dean shouted angrily. He started to tug at his hair." Charlie not married to me, she's been having sex with other people!"
Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but was shocked from words. He began to blush furiously.Jesus Christ, this was embarrassing.
All of this...and over what?
Dean was shaking with anger now." What the he**!" He yelled, his voice carried throughout the room. "Why would you even think that? Don't you see how interested I am in you?" he asked softly.
"I..." He squeaked, still speechless in self hatred and the overwhelming feeling of uselessness. How hadn't he noticed?
Dean sighed sadly." I'll understand if you want me to leave." he told him and started making his way towards the door.
"No!" He said, suddenly finding his voice and yelling instead of his intended mild response "I mean...don't go please...I'm so sorry, I misinterpreted everything, things just seemed more like...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Dean didn't turn back to look at Cas as he spoke." We've been friends for at least a few weeks, and you never bothered to ask me if I was married?"
"I assumed you were, Dean." Cas said, after a few moments of shameful silence
Dean ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair." I don't even have a ring. Cas, I really do like you, and I want this to work. If you have any question, go ahead ask away."
"I'm sorry." Cas finished quietly, bringing his knees to his chest. "Just stay."
Dean walked towards a chair near a window and plopped down." Cas, if you have any more questions..."
"I'm not going to question any more of your life, Dean. I'll figure it out with you one way or another, when the time comes."
Dean nodded." Did you really want to kill yourself because of me?" He was ridden with guilt.
"A little." Cas said, giving a white lie to make Dean feel a bit better "I misinterpreted the situation. It wasn't you, it was the lies I believed that drove me to attempt...attempt..."
Dean was at Cas's bed in a few moments. Gripping Cas's hand. He leaned down and kissed his forehead." Please never do that again."
Cas didn't respond, instead thinking I'll try He held Dean's hand tightly
Dean combed his hands through Cas's hair." Say that you wont." Dean whispered.
"I can't...say that..." He said, painfully slow. No, that wasn't even the right answer. He could, but he couldn't trust himself enough to make a promise he couldn't keep.
Dean squeezed shut his eyes." Why you breaking my heart?" Dean sang to himself." I want to help you get better." he said in a firm voice.
"I want to get better Dean, I can't control myself though. I don't think I can."Cas gripped Dean's hand tighter, distressed with Dean's distraught state
Dean gave Cas a hopeful smile." Then I'm going to help you get better." he finally said. He squeezed Cas's hand.
"...yeah?" Cas said nervously. He didn't know why, but it freaked him out a bit. Contact.
Dean smiled and leaned down and gave Cas a sloppy kiss.
Cas winced, not responding to the kiss. It was shameful, but he had never been kissed. So he didn't quite...know how...to go about things.
Dean frowned." Sorry," he felt rejected now. He sat back downa and sang under his breathe.
"I've never been kissed." Cas blurted.He noticed that the nurse had left the room early into their conversation. Maybe to find Gabriel and complain.
