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The rp meant to be (DeanandCasxMerlin)
message 51:
by
chailatte
(new)
Sep 28, 2014 09:33PM
Dean gazed the room, all while trying to ignore Charlie. He finally spotted Castiel, but his back was turned, so he couldn't see Castiel's face. Oh the hell with it, he thought as walked over to Castiel and sat down next to him.
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Castiel turned suddenly, noticing someone behind him."Hello-" He stopped himself, seeing who it was. Dear god...
Dean.
It was mother*cking Dean
Dean plopped down next to Castiel and gave him a half smile. Darn, he really was handsome, so hot. His combat blue eyes stood out, he had these sharp cheek bones, with small cupid lips, that looked so kissable."Hey," Dean finally said.
"Dean." Cas acknowledged, looking at the ground once more in embarrassment. Where was his brave self now?
"Thank you." he murmured, unsure of what else to say
Dean frowned and looked at his ripped up sneakers." what for?" he finally settled on.
"Umm...the name...thing." Cas ended lamely, blushing even more furiously whilst looking up
Dean rolled his eyes and eyed his figure, it was hard to make it out when he was wearing such a baggy sweater." Don't sweat it."
Cas was silent, and Myla began wishing farewells, eyeing him irritated, like he was a splotch of dirt on newly washed carpet. He got up, noticing that it had, indeed, been an hour.
Dean also got up." See you next week." it was a question, but a command.He strolled.over to Charlie who gave a whistle." He's.hot."
"Um...yeah..." Cas said, fading off awkwardly, his face heating up again. Damnit.His craving for some sort of drug-like stupor to drown this feeling inside him was overwhelming. But he needed to stop...that was why he was here. Right?
He began to walk towards the door, pulling up his hood once more and getting back into is car, a beat up truck. He never really liked it, it brought back too many memories
Dean sighed sadly, they didn't bring his baby here, Charlie was too afraid that he'll try to runaway. He slowly walked with Charlie with his arm wrapped around her. " Did you like it?" she finally broke the ice. dean shook his head, but did nothing after that.
Cas saw Dean walk out, his arm around that girl....oh...Of course he was straight. Of course.
He felt a hot tear slide down his disappointed face and brushed it away quickly. He didn't have time for this.
He turned on the car quickly, pulling recklessly out of the parking lot, and driving home.
***
Gabe met him there, giving him an all too enthusiastic hug once he was out of the car.
"I'm glad you went, Cassie." Gabe's golden hair buried into Cas's sweater, breathing in deeply
"Please refrain from calling me that."
"Theeeres the brother I know. Cassie." Gabe said, giving him a playful punch to the arm. He smelled like butterscotch, his most recent sweet obsession, and had seemingly been emitting it onto everything he touched. Castiel found it annoying, his sweater now smelling like sweet brown sugar. Not that it was bad, just...constant. Sweetness.
"I made you dinner!"
Dear Lord...
"Please don't force me to eat whatever you have prepared and call edible." Cas said lightly
"But marshmallows and butter melted together have never failed to brighten up MY day..."
Dean sighed." Thanks for taking me Charlie, I know you care about me. I met some amazing people today and learned some of their stories." his mind drifted off to Castiel. I wonder what he thought about me? " I'm just glad that you went Dean." she squeezed his hand and got pulled her car over for a diner." Come on, les get some food into you."
Castiel settled on a bowl of cereal in Gabe's house, not that there were many choices, only lucky charms...("they're magically delicious!")...and fell asleep on the couch, saddened by his day. Thankfully, Gabriel seemed oblivious to any sort of glumness Cas possessed, and didn't ask
Dean was lucky that Charlie took him over to his place that night, or else he would've gotten drunk and probably would've died while chocking on his own vomit. When he was on the couch, trying to sleep, he regretted not talking more to Castiel.
**THE NEXT DAY**Castiel rested around the house, not bothering to dress better than the day before. There wasn't much he could impress at this next meeting. Not anymore.
Damn mixed signals
He settled on a dark blue shirt that hung loosely around him, and a tattered trenchcoat with some dark wash jeans. It would make him look bulkier, maybe a bit more healthy hopefully.
Gabe drove him this time, giving him a cell phone to call him with to get himself picked up later. He had some sort of work to do, which felt like a lie. But Cas didn't question it all the same. Gabe could deal with Gabe's problems
This time Dean came alone, Charlie had to go to work, and she made him promise on his mom's grave that hr I'll come. So here he was. He drove his baby, he smiled a little when she purred. He parked her across the street. he straightened out his blue and black plaid shirt and dusted off imaginary lint from his old jeans.
He made his way inside and saw an open seat next to Castiel and quickly took it.
"Hello." Cas said curtly, not wanting to drive himself to being emotional once more. Emotions were...weakness. He couldn't feel these things, it seemed. He had to keep them inside
Dean nodded, he wasn't unfazed by Castiel. " Hey Castiel." he mumbled softly to him. He glanced at hat Castiel was wearing." You look amazing," and more healthy than last week.
"...Thank you...I guess." Cas said, trying to act as completely no-homo as possible. Flirting with the straight guy wouldn't work out
Dean nodded, if Castiel wasn't go talk, he may as well." Charlie couldn't make it today. She had work." he said gloomily.
"Mmmm...supporting the family, I suppose." Cas said somewhat sharply, being careful to try and sound normal saying it.
Dean frowned." Yeah, she's such a doll." he mumbled. He cleared his throat. " how are you Cas? Can I call you Cas? Castiel is kind of a mouthful."
"I...umm...sure. Yeah." Cas said, disappointed at the lack of correction there was to his accusation of Dean's having relation to Charlie. Apparently, some part of him was still hoping
Dean moved closer to Cas." So, why the long face?" What would Charlie do? He thought slowly. Probably rub his knee, I should do that. He placed his hand on Cas's knee.
Cas flinched "I'm mourning the loss of a loved one." He said quickly. It was sort of true
" Oh, I'm sorry." he told him and quickly pulled his away. " May I ask who?"
"It's not...it's...nevermind. Do you have any children?"
Dean smiled slightly." I've always wanted twins, I'm just waiting for the right opportunity. You?"
"I'm not in...a relationship." Cas said, his throat closing up with a choking feeling of disappointment and pain, like someone had decided to strangle these words from him
Before Dean could utter a single word, the meeting began.
Myla came out, passing around some notecards "Now today, we're all gonna write down who we're here for, and what's keeping us alive. Don't think things like food or water, but your family, your friends. Then we can share them with each other, if we're comfortable with that. Is that okay?"
Dean already knew that the first name was going to be Charlie, then Benny and his stoic girlfriend, Meg. He smiled happily and drew hearts. He thought about putting his brother on the lost, but decided against it.
Cas stared at the card blankly, writing down Gabe, but finding it hard to come up with someone else. What relationships had he been in? His attempts at relationships had ruined his family. "Okay, I'll start off. My sister Jessica, my mom, my dad, and my girlfriends. How about you Castiel?" She said, obviously trying to throw him into the conversation
"What? I...um...my...brother." Cas said quietly
"And?"
"And what? That's all."
"What about some of your friends?"
"I don't have any." Suddenly it was a battle to try and defend his loner-like lifestyle.
"What about Dean, he seems like your friend." Myla said positively, ignoring his ready-to-strangle attitude
"Dean is not my friend. I do not know Dean very well." Cas spat back, the choking feeling returning with a vengeance.
"Well, I'm sure you'll be great friends. What about you Dean?" Myla know was focused on pinpointing Castiel
" Charlie, Benny, Meg, and Castiel." he replied nonchalantly. He gave Cas a sly wink and coughed. " He may not consider me a friends, but I do consider him as my friend."
"See, Cas, you do have friends, you need to just look for them. Keep that in mind."Myla moved on and around the circle, and Castiel stared at the wall, hoping his concentration could somehow make him invisible. Or maybe just burn a hole into the wall. Whichever came first.
He finally got up, leaving the room to sit in the lobby. He couldn't take this. Group therapy had too much drama so far. And having that hand on his knee made him waaay to excited for things that could never happen.
"Castiel, where are you going?"
"I'm going out."
Dean shook his head." You can't leave me here all alone, man. I need you to support me. If you don't want to stay, at least let me go with you." Dean also got up and pulled Cas up with him.
Cas shook Dean off his arm. It was all too much. Wasn't therapy supposed to be calming in some way?!He nearly ran from the room, his trenchcoat fluttering behind him.
Dean ran after Cas." Castiel! Castiel!" he shouted after him." Please wait!"
Myla sighed, assuring the group that they would probably be back.Castiel sat on the chair in the lobby of the center, closing his eyes and trying to ignore the urgent calling after him. He needed to get his breathing under control. The cravings were making his emotions so...erratic. It was scaring him.
" Castiel?" Dean called out as if he were talking to a small child. " What's wrong?" he didn't ask if he was.okay because he obviously wasn't. " Do you need water?"
"I'm fine Dean, please go away." Cas said simply, his stony tone faltering slightly
" No," he said firmly." I want to make sure that you're alright. What happened?"
"You are happening, please just go away. Please just get away from life." Castiel said monotonously, not opening his eyes to see if Dean was there or not. What did he have to lose now? A married man who would never requite his affection?
Dean sat down next to Cas, he leaned in closer to him and held his chin in his hands.
