UK Amazon Kindle Forum discussion
Blog Roll
>
Will Once - somewhere and back again
message 351:
by
Patti (baconater)
(new)
Nov 15, 2014 07:20AM
I just found a pea under the kettle.
reply
|
flag
Patti (baconater) wrote: "I just found a pea under the kettle."You must be having one of these days:
http://davidhadleyauthor.wordpress.co...
Peas are evil, Patti. Oh yes, they may look like common or garden vegetables. One of the few green things that kids will eat. They go well with just about anything. Apart from a crisply ironed white dress shirt.
But the reality is that they are committed to global domination. That pea under the kettle has probably been there for ages, all the while smirking at its success as a hidey ninja pea.
Never ever trust a pea.
So you're not working towards world pease.
They can be rock hard too. Biding their time and waiting for hydration.
There is a bridge over the M25 ... (never mind a house in New Orleans) ... where a graffiti artist once painted the word PEAS.http://moblog.net/view/255583/peas-on...
For many a year I drove under this bridge, en route between my family roots oop north and my moonlighting existence as a Southern softie.
After a few years, another wag added some additional text ...
https://www.facebook.com/givepeasachance
And now we have "Give Peas a chance" ... A John Lennon song, one of very few motorway bridges to have its own Facebook page ...
Or a sinister code by the pea overlords who are plotting to overthrow us?
I saw the famous graffiti on a bridge in London which said 'Nuclear waste fades your genes'.
We drive under the peas bridge frequently.
But what does it mean? How good art asks questions which may have no answers...http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/11...
The page loaded to about the four paragraph, then stopped. Argh!Help, please?
I've not blogged for ages. I have been up to my ears in life, work and the tribulations of dealing with the great British builder.Back to the keyboard. Today we are having fun looking at bad writing. What makes some writing purple?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/11...
I threw up in my mouth a little.
Not the stallion! I'm going to leave that as a little puzzle for people to work out. Which was mine and which was the bestseller?
No, you gotta tell me so I can point and laugh at you.
Actually, I quite liked the excerpts.(trying the Arthur Dent approach here)
You can't beat a bit of Vogon poetry ..."Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
I do like the Vogon poetry. Its my third favourite after The Jabberwocky and Macavity the Mystery Cat.
So if purple prose is bad, what does good look like?What is the opposite of purple?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/12...
I only got through three lines of the comment Jim left.
Just for you Pattisuspect that these things change over time, We look back and struggle with the conventions and assumptions of our forefathers. How about
Now was riot raised, the ravens wheeled,
The eagle, eager for carrion, there was a cry on earth.
Then loosed they from their hands the file-hard lance,
The sharp-ground spears to fly.
Bows were busied – buckler met point
Bitter was the battle-rush, warriors fell
On either hand, the young men lay!
Wounded was Wulfmur, a war bed he chose,
Even Brithnoth’s kinsman, he with swords
Was straight cut down, his sister’s son.
Then to the Vikings was requital given.
I heard that Edward did slay one
Straightly with his sword, nor stinted the blow,
That at his feet fell – the fey warrior.
For this his thane did to him give thanks,
Even to his chamberlain – when he had a space.
————————
Thus we wrote then, the leavings of wordsmiths,
I meant before I gave up on trying to read it!
mock you the word-foam,dreams of the author?
Hard-wrought, fine-crafted,
slayers of critics
Why is the dead parrot sketch funny? Or the 2010 movie of the A team? How can some humour sneak up on you when you aren't noticing?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/12...
I've just finished my next book! Yippee! Calloo callay.It's rubbish.
Okay, it's got some good bits. And maybe a nice title. An intriguing premise, perhaps. A stirring battle scene or two.
But it's still rubbish. Awful. Sloppy.
That's perfectly okay. It's the first draft and first drafts are allowed to be awful. Because how else can we get our kicks on route sixty six?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/12...
*waves*Just catching up on threads.
Tell me more about this rubbish book what you wrote while I read your blog.
Oh, I loathe when someone asks me to read their MS and I find out its a first draft.Life is way too short to be wasting my time on a first draft.
The first rule of first drafts is ... never let anyone read your first draft. The second rule of first drafts is ...The Serious Book (better title coming soon, promise!) is a sort of science fictiony, fantasy sort of thingy. I wanted to see how many of the clichés I could take out of a fantasy story and still keep it as recognisably fantasy. A bare-bones fantasy, an anti-fantasy, a fantasy for people who don't like fantasy.
Something that isn't trying to be Tolkien 2.
If you're interested, I have a group of kind people who have agreed to beta-read it in the New Year. By then it will be version 3 or 4. No-one gets to read version 1, except me!
If you'd like some reading matter, I'd be more than delighted to send you a review copy of one of my three books. Just let me know what flavour you'd like - spy and megalomania, super hero or fantasy with a hint of zombie?
I'll email you a mobi file. Or three.
Any funny stuff? I like funny stuff.
Hopefully. Allegedly. They are meant to be comedies.
Choose one for me. Although I think I've already bought your stuff. I'd have to double check.
Oh, so you have!Lovely pressies for Christmas! Thank you Will!!!
It's that time of year again when we remember what it is like to receive mail that isn't trying to sell us something. But that means having to endure the horror that is the Christmas letter ....
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/12...
Happy Christmas, Will!Was telling Simon at dinner last night about the absolutely stonking kid's story you wrote for the collection.
I really hope I'm able to get it published one day!
Happy Christmas! It's been exhausting following you on your travels these past few days. Where are you now?I'd forgotten about the kids story. Carrotman, wasn't it? That was a story I used to tell John when he was tiny. Now he's 14, a little bit taller than me, hairy legs and with a deep baritone voice. Odd how fast the years zip by.
I'm not sure what you'll make of my next book. The ones I have written up to now have been comedies. The next is most definitely not played for laughs. New territory for me.
The trials and tribulations of cooking a vegetarian turkey dinner:http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/12...
That one is going straight onto the morning thread!Peeing myself here!
So good I had to share it on facebook :-)
UK Amazon Kindle Forum
Books mentioned in this topic
The Dice Man (other topics)Hero (other topics)
Galápagos (other topics)
PopCo (other topics)
