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Niels Saunders
Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query
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1-Page Synopsis of Dark Fantasy
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Hello Niels,For what my opinion is worth, I don't feel there's anything wrong with your synopsis.
Try to keep it under 500 words (don't be fooled by 1-2 page, they mean 1 page double or 1.5 spaced). You have a lot there that can be condensed. Also you should not include quite so many names of characters , only the key ones and they should be in CAPITALS when you first introduce them. General tip, make your characters' names start with different letters Saru and Shujin very similar to rapid reader.Hope this helps
Keith, thank you very much. You were very helpful with the blurb for my other book, The Papyrus Empire, so I really value your opinion.Heleen, thank you for your comments. At first, I wasn't sure about changing the name. Shujin has been Shujin for so long, but I think you're right. He's now become Ihara instead.
Most of the literary agents in the UK ask for a 1 or 2 page synopsis when submitting material. I'm sending out my latest novel soon, a dark fantasy set in mythological Japan titled Barbarous Indeed Is My Master. I'd love to get any feedback. Please bear in mind this a synopsis of the full plot, including the ending. Thank you very much.
BARBAROUS INDEED IS MY MASTER - SYNOPSIS
In the kingdom of Yamato, a snow monkey named Saru has learned to think with words. Although he cannot speak, he feels closer to humans than his fellow beasts. High upon the mountains, he lives with his mother near a mysterious temple. The monks are kind and gentle, all except Akame: a man with red eyes and no footsteps who spends his nights carving statues of demons. As part of a dark incantation, Akame kills Saru’s mother and drives him from his home.
Saru wanders the valleys for months, but the monkeys he encounters reject him for his differences. Eventually, he comes across Otari Village, a peaceful settlement of friendly humans. Thanks to his wits and intellect, he starts working at the tavern as a most unusual waiter. The tavern is run by Okina and Uba, a kind old man and woman who treat Saru as their son and show him how to read and write.
In Otari Village, Saru meets Neko, a wise and ancient cat bestowed with the same abilities as him. She can talk to Saru and explains they are gods blessed with long lives and unusual intelligence. Saru learns he can communicate with other gods but not with normal animals or humans. After mastering this skill, Neko shows him how to enter humans’ unconscious minds. This technique is called crossing the veil and lets them view and tamper with people’s memories to alter their behaviour.
While at Otari Village, Saru is pursued by Shujin the Catcher, a man infamous for capturing animals and then supposedly killing them in a cave. One night, Shujin breaks into Okina and Uba’s home where Saru also lives and murders the old man in his sleep. Just before Shujin also kills Uba, Saru wakes and alerts her. The town guard chase Shujin away but Saru fears he will return.
Determined to protect his loved ones, Saru starts carrying poison. He plans to kill Shujin before anyone else is hurt, but then one night at the tavern, a most unexpected customer arrives. It is Akame, the wicked monk who murdered his mother so long ago. Seizing his opportunity, Saru poisons Akame’s bottle of wine, but the monk’s dark magic switches the bottles and everyone at the tavern dies.
Overwhelmed by fury, Saru crosses Akame's veil to enter his unconscious mind. Unable to fight Akame physically, Saru destroys him from the inside, breaking everything within his mind and driving him insane. Because of Saru’s tampering, Akame becomes delirious with rage and incinerates the village with magic. Everyone, including Neko, dies in the inferno, with Saru as the sole survivor. Hopeless, he lays in the ashes, consumed by grief and guilt. There he is discovered by Shujin who locks him in a cage upon a cart alongside other captured animals.
Among those creatures is a crow who lives upon Shujin’s shoulder and is treated with uncommon care. His name is Karasu, a god like Saru, and he has tampered with Shujin’s mind to control him. Karasu explains there is a monster in Shujin’s cave that he wishes to study. Shujin has been feeding animals to the monster but what it truly hungers for are the souls of gods. When they reach the cave, they cross Shujin’s veil and tamper with his memories so that he understands the ghastly nature of the monster to whom he is beholden.
The monster is Nadeshiko the Soul Drinker, the earthly presence of the god of death and madness, who longs to escape from the confines of her cave. In a final clash, Shujin tries to save the animals, giving them just enough time to escape but dying in the struggle. Once they are safe, Saru understands his journey is just beginning: Akame is still on the loose, lost in rage and insanity, and only Saru can stop him. This sets up the second instalment of The Legend of Saru, entitled The Ten Courts of Hell.