Rebellious Writing discussion
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WIP Snippets!
Nicki wrote: "And here's an excerpt from my WIP A Winter Dark and Deadly
“What? You thought I came in here simply to enjoy a picnic? I am here, the High Chancellor’s papers are here, and the High Chancellor is ..."
The snark is amazing!
“What? You thought I came in here simply to enjoy a picnic? I am here, the High Chancellor’s papers are here, and the High Chancellor is ..."
The snark is amazing!
Here's another snippet, this time from Piper's POV:
“Coward.” The moment the words leave my mouth I want to take them back, they hang in the air, suffocating me as Josh turns.
The pain that spreads across his face is heartbreaking, and I suddenly know I was wrong, so horribly wrong. All I see in his eyes is grief. Years of rejection, anger, heartbreak, and of being desperately lost surface in his face, it’s a tidal wave, rising, rising, rising. And then it crashes down.
He turns, walking towards the door. “Sorry,” he whispers, breaking the silence.
“Josh.” I stumble forward, reaching for him. The room is spinning, the color is blinding and I feel bile rising in my throat.
Josh keeps walking, closing the door softly behind him without looking back.
“Coward.” The moment the words leave my mouth I want to take them back, they hang in the air, suffocating me as Josh turns.
The pain that spreads across his face is heartbreaking, and I suddenly know I was wrong, so horribly wrong. All I see in his eyes is grief. Years of rejection, anger, heartbreak, and of being desperately lost surface in his face, it’s a tidal wave, rising, rising, rising. And then it crashes down.
He turns, walking towards the door. “Sorry,” he whispers, breaking the silence.
“Josh.” I stumble forward, reaching for him. The room is spinning, the color is blinding and I feel bile rising in my throat.
Josh keeps walking, closing the door softly behind him without looking back.

IT'S EPIC, GRAY, I LOVE IT
Gray wrote: "Catherine wrote: "*cries*"
I sincerely hope that is a good thing. XD"
Don't worry, it is :). It's super good!
I sincerely hope that is a good thing. XD"
Don't worry, it is :). It's super good!

"Tell me about your brother.” I asked Angel.
“Tuck that end into the corner and I will.” She said, sending the stick out to me. I did, and with the tent half up, she started.
“Sam was an only child for a long time. Mom couldn't get pregnant for a long time after him, so she and Dad decided to dedicate their energy on what God had already given them. They did everything they could to raise him up as a godly young man.”
Her eyes lit up and I could tell she thought the world of him, “He grew up helping people and he loves it! After he graduated he went to Bible College and one of the classes he took was missions. They all went to Peru and he says that’s where his heart stayed.”
“Ah,” I said, understanding, “So he did it for love?”
Angel giggled as we got the tent standing upright, “Yes, he did it for love, but not the kind you’re thinking. Sam did it because of his love for God and for the people there.”
I bit my lip, “God? Is that the Jesus man who supposedly died?”
“Yes!” Angel exclaimed, “You know Him? That’s so cool! He’s amazing, isn’t He? And He can help you forgive your mom.”
I shrunk back at this, “I don’t think I want Him then.”
Her face fell for a moment, before she answered with all honesty, “You know, hatred is the poison you drink hoping the other person will die. You’re not gonna change her by hating her, but you might have a chance if you forgive her.”
:D
Libby wrote: "Here's a little piece of my WIP "Dewdrops and Butterflies."
"Tell me about your brother.” I asked Angel.
“Tuck that end into the corner and I will.” She said, sending the stick out to me. I did, a..."
Aw, I love it! <3
"Tell me about your brother.” I asked Angel.
“Tuck that end into the corner and I will.” She said, sending the stick out to me. I did, a..."
Aw, I love it! <3
Here's a little excerpt from one of my current WIP's...
There it was, finally. Our island. Our very own island. It looked beautiful above the waves of fog, but there was still one question to be answered: Why had they sold it to us for only 5 dollars? "Marissa," I whispered, not wishing to break the silence. Her eyes flew open and she sat up. "Look!" She turned her head towards the island. The little island seemed to float on the blue tropical waters. It seemed mysterious, lonely and beautiful. Without any hesitation she grabbed her paddle and joined me paddling toward shore. We soon ran aground. We took off our shoes, rolled up our trousers and stepped out, into the knee deep, warm, blue water. I picked up the canoe by the rope handle on the back and Marissa took the front and we brought it onto the beach. I stood frozen for a moment. The colours seemed almost too intense to be true; the dazzling blue of the ocean, the immaculate white beach, and the rich green of the vegetation. The atmosphere was damp and heavy. But the day was darkening into evening.
"Come on, Jo! Let's go find a place to camp!" Marissa said enthusiastically, already starting off toward the jungle-like foliage.
There it was, finally. Our island. Our very own island. It looked beautiful above the waves of fog, but there was still one question to be answered: Why had they sold it to us for only 5 dollars? "Marissa," I whispered, not wishing to break the silence. Her eyes flew open and she sat up. "Look!" She turned her head towards the island. The little island seemed to float on the blue tropical waters. It seemed mysterious, lonely and beautiful. Without any hesitation she grabbed her paddle and joined me paddling toward shore. We soon ran aground. We took off our shoes, rolled up our trousers and stepped out, into the knee deep, warm, blue water. I picked up the canoe by the rope handle on the back and Marissa took the front and we brought it onto the beach. I stood frozen for a moment. The colours seemed almost too intense to be true; the dazzling blue of the ocean, the immaculate white beach, and the rich green of the vegetation. The atmosphere was damp and heavy. But the day was darkening into evening.
"Come on, Jo! Let's go find a place to camp!" Marissa said enthusiastically, already starting off toward the jungle-like foliage.
oh I dearly love Island adventures. And the mystery makes it even better. I love this snippet, Mariah!!

There it was, finally. Our island. Our very own island. It looked beautiful above the waves of fog, but there was still one question to be a..."
Ooh, interesting excerpt, Mariah!

“Anyone here have any pure hearts?” Radmir asked raising his eyebrows.
“I’m afraid I lost mine,” Jokar said, spitting seeds to the side from his fruit. “Twice.”
“I never had one,” Adilah said, watching the seeds go flying.
“If I do have one it’s buried,” Fahim replied gruffly. “In the dessert sands of my homeland.”
Radmir nodded. “Mine was tossed off a cliff and into the Anean Sea.”
@Ivie, #nojiper
I grab my backpack, looking towards my mom in the kitchen, who is buttering toast. I take a breath, “Hey, Mom, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed a little later after school, Matthew and I are working on an art project.”
Mom looks up, her eyes lit with curiosity. She sets the butter knife down, leaning on the counter and studying me with twinkling blue eyes. “Matthew? As in Matthew Regner, who works at that Puerto Rican place a few blocks from here?”
I fight back a grin, “Maybe,”
“I like him, but get home before dark, you know how some of these streets get at night.”
I nod, “Thanks, Mom!”
I grab my backpack, looking towards my mom in the kitchen, who is buttering toast. I take a breath, “Hey, Mom, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed a little later after school, Matthew and I are working on an art project.”
Mom looks up, her eyes lit with curiosity. She sets the butter knife down, leaning on the counter and studying me with twinkling blue eyes. “Matthew? As in Matthew Regner, who works at that Puerto Rican place a few blocks from here?”
I fight back a grin, “Maybe,”
“I like him, but get home before dark, you know how some of these streets get at night.”
I nod, “Thanks, Mom!”

Thanks, Catherine! :D

I grab my backpack, looking towards my mom in the kitchen, who is buttering toast. I take a breath, “Hey, Mom, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed a little later after..."
I've not read much of your book, but from what I've heard of it... Jiper is a worthy ship XD
Interesting excerpt ;P
Nicki wrote: "Gray wrote: "@Ivie, #nojiper
I grab my backpack, looking towards my mom in the kitchen, who is buttering toast. I take a breath, “Hey, Mom, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed a littl..."
Dang it. XD
I grab my backpack, looking towards my mom in the kitchen, who is buttering toast. I take a breath, “Hey, Mom, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed a littl..."
Dang it. XD
Ivie wrote: "MY ARMY IS GROWING!!!"
Ivie wrote: "Gray wrote: "@Ivie, #nojiper
I grab my backpack, looking towards my mom in the kitchen, who is buttering toast. I take a breath, “Hey, Mom, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed a littl..."
Maybe, maybe not. Actually he fits well for a few scenes I need, so it's not just because of jiper. ;D
Nooo.
Ivie wrote: "Gray wrote: "@Ivie, #nojiper
I grab my backpack, looking towards my mom in the kitchen, who is buttering toast. I take a breath, “Hey, Mom, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed a littl..."
Maybe, maybe not. Actually he fits well for a few scenes I need, so it's not just because of jiper. ;D
Nooo.
Catherine wrote: "Heehee, I now understand authors frustrations with ship wars, LOL. Ready the canons, Gray!"
Lol. XD
Lol. XD
“Thanks,” I take them and I hear another chime from my backpack. “Sorry,” I say, as I take off my backpack, digging through it. “My sister is probably worried about me, I’m not usually this late home from school without letting her know.”
May gasps, “You go to public school?”
I look at her, “You don’t?”
She shakes her head, grinning.
“We’re homeschooled by Grandmother,” Makayla interjects, “Our mom tried to homeschool us, but she couldn’t handle the four of us, let’s not even mention Andres.”
“Hey!” Andres cries, throwing his hands up and trying not to smile. He glances at me, “I graduated high school last year and I work here with Grandmother now.”
Before I can ask about homeschooling, my hand finds the cool surface of my phone, I push the power button and everything slows down.
Thirty missed calls from Piper Anson
Twenty messages
I type my password in faster than I ever have before, opening Piper’s messages.
Alex
Alex
Alex
Alex answer your phone
Please
Alex
My head spins as I read on.
Alex it’s mom she was hit
Alex
Alex
ALEX ANSWER ME
She’s not awake
I can’t see her
I’m at the hospital where are you alex?
Alex please answer
Alex
Alex
The rest of the messages are my name, over and over again.
Is this some kind of sick joke?
No, it can’t be. Piper would never do that. I can’t move. I’m frozen, staring at the screen.
May gasps, “You go to public school?”
I look at her, “You don’t?”
She shakes her head, grinning.
“We’re homeschooled by Grandmother,” Makayla interjects, “Our mom tried to homeschool us, but she couldn’t handle the four of us, let’s not even mention Andres.”
“Hey!” Andres cries, throwing his hands up and trying not to smile. He glances at me, “I graduated high school last year and I work here with Grandmother now.”
Before I can ask about homeschooling, my hand finds the cool surface of my phone, I push the power button and everything slows down.
Thirty missed calls from Piper Anson
Twenty messages
I type my password in faster than I ever have before, opening Piper’s messages.
Alex
Alex
Alex
Alex answer your phone
Please
Alex
My head spins as I read on.
Alex it’s mom she was hit
Alex
Alex
ALEX ANSWER ME
She’s not awake
I can’t see her
I’m at the hospital where are you alex?
Alex please answer
Alex
Alex
The rest of the messages are my name, over and over again.
Is this some kind of sick joke?
No, it can’t be. Piper would never do that. I can’t move. I’m frozen, staring at the screen.
Gray. GRAY. GRAAAAAY!! *sobs with Ivie* Why must you do this??!! This snippet... it is both YES and NO. Which is what I love. *grabs box of tissues*
gahhhhhh, oh my dear heavens. just wow, can't say anything else except that it was soooooo good!!!

That snippet was... intense.
Ivie wrote: "Gray wrote: "“Thanks,” I take them and I hear another chime from my backpack. “Sorry,” I say, as I take off my backpack, digging through it. “My sister is probably worried about me, I’m not usually..."
XD
XD
Lila wrote: "Gray. GRAY. GRAAAAAY!! *sobs with Ivie* Why must you do this??!! This snippet... it is both YES and NO. Which is what I love. *grabs box of tissues*"
Thank you!
Thank you!
Catherine wrote: "gahhhhhh, oh my dear heavens. just wow, can't say anything else except that it was soooooo good!!!"
Aww, thanks!!
Aww, thanks!!
Nicki wrote: "Catherine wrote: "gahhhhhh, oh my dear heavens. just wow, can't say anything else except that it was soooooo good!!!"
That snippet was... intense."
In a good way, I hope! :D
That snippet was... intense."
In a good way, I hope! :D

That snippet was... intense."
In a good way, I hope! :D"
Generally as far as fiction goes, intense is good so yeah :D
Libby wrote: "*gawks*
Gray. That. Was. Epic.
I HAVE READ THIS BOOK! *runs around screaming*"
Thank you!!
Gray. That. Was. Epic.
I HAVE READ THIS BOOK! *runs around screaming*"
Thank you!!
Faith/Florid Sword wrote: "GRAY! HOLY CRAP! WHAT EVEN?! I NEED THIS! NOW!"
Thank you so much, lol!
Thank you so much, lol!

We need to find a deer,” I reply curtly.
“A what?!” Olivia cries.
“Since he likes to kill deer, perhaps if we find a deer we might be able to find him in the process of trying to kill it. I mean that’s how I found him in the first place.”
“What are you talking about?!” Olivia demands, drawing to a halt and crossing her arms. “Who do you want to find?”
“My imaginary friend,” I reply, tugging on her arm. “Come on, we need to find him. Firstly because we need his help, secondly because we may be able to save a defenseless deer’s life.”
“Licia, you really have lost it. Now you’re trying to find your imaginary friend? The one you had when you were a kid?”
I lean closer. “He’s still my imaginary friend, that wasn’t an incident isolated to my childhood.” Olivia begins to give me the ‘you’re crazy look” again so I hurriedly add, “Though I’m beginning doubt if he’s imaginary anymore. Maybe he was just a guy who somehow managed to climb into my head at night.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GRAY. *sobs*
SHINE wrote: "(FROM DREAMS! I'm still trying to write out all the chapters.)Here's some of them, but there's a whole book of dreams I'm needing to write in chapters.
(EARLY 2000'S DREAM) No one knew how the vil..."
AHHHH INTRIGUING!!!!!
(EARLY 2000'S DREAM) No one knew how the vil..."
AHHHH INTRIGUING!!!!!
Here's a snippet from my current WIP, Book 2 of the Pentegreen Series:
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tighter, and tried to sink back into the bliss of unconsciousness. People talked about sleep being a time when nothing was present except nothing. A chance to rest away from the world for a little while.
Evidently these were people who had never had nightmares.
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tighter, and tried to sink back into the bliss of unconsciousness. People talked about sleep being a time when nothing was present except nothing. A chance to rest away from the world for a little while.
Evidently these were people who had never had nightmares.
Zane wrote: "Gray wrote: "“Thanks,” I take them and I hear another chime from my backpack. “Sorry,” I say, as I take off my backpack, digging through it. “My sister is probably worried about me, I’m not usually..."
Thanks! ^^
Thanks! ^^
Faith/Florid Sword wrote: "Here's a snippet from my current WIP, Book 2 of the Pentegreen Series:
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tighter, and tried to sink back into the bliss of unconsciousness. Peopl..."
I love the snark. XD
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tighter, and tried to sink back into the bliss of unconsciousness. Peopl..."
I love the snark. XD
Gray wrote: "Faith/Florid Sword wrote: "Here's a snippet from my current WIP, Book 2 of the Pentegreen Series:
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tighter, and tried to sink back into the blis..."
Zank you! :D
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tighter, and tried to sink back into the blis..."
Zank you! :D
Ivie wrote: "Faith/Florid Sword wrote: "Here's a snippet from my current WIP, Book 2 of the Pentegreen Series:
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tighter, and tried to sink back into the blis..."
I will be sure to share more! (I've also got a progress thread going on the Yearlong Nano where I'm giving snippets fairly frequently, so you should follow me over there.... ;))
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tighter, and tried to sink back into the blis..."
I will be sure to share more! (I've also got a progress thread going on the Yearlong Nano where I'm giving snippets fairly frequently, so you should follow me over there.... ;))
Ivie wrote: "Here's a snippet from Uprising. My betas, also known as the biggest Raeter shippers loved this scene. XD This is from Peter's point of view.
I noticed the look of uncertainty on her face. Her eye..."
I think he likes her though. XD
My guy friends don't even notice if I'm wearing makeup or not, so if they started noticing me blushing and studying my face I would think they liked me. XD
I noticed the look of uncertainty on her face. Her eye..."
I think he likes her though. XD
My guy friends don't even notice if I'm wearing makeup or not, so if they started noticing me blushing and studying my face I would think they liked me. XD
Ivie wrote: "Gray wrote: "Ivie wrote: "Here's a snippet from Uprising. My betas, also known as the biggest Raeter shippers loved this scene. XD This is from Peter's point of view.
I noticed the look of uncert..."
Uh huh.....just friends, huh? XD
I noticed the look of uncert..."
Uh huh.....just friends, huh? XD
Ivie wrote: "Faith/Florid Sword wrote: "Ivie wrote: "Faith/Florid Sword wrote: "Here's a snippet from my current WIP, Book 2 of the Pentegreen Series:
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tight..."
YES YOU MUST!!!!!
She sat up and rubbed her arm, fastened the sling on tight..."
YES YOU MUST!!!!!
Books mentioned in this topic
Shattered Embers (other topics)Shattered Embers (other topics)
Lol."
Lol, I tried telling her that but she's *whispers* a little insane. So regular, you know, sane things don't come easily to her XD She's rather unconventional, if I do say so myself.