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[edge]

what is life

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i did NOT sign up for this.

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how is this even accessible to minors

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okay i have had enough

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what is life

[edge]

i need a healthy dose of bleach. to clean my mind up.

[jay, rip]

edge wrote: "WHAT IS IT WITH PEEING AND SNEEZING SOMEBODY EXPLAIN"

okay so when you really gotta piss and you sneeze sometimes. a little comes out. because it's a sudden movement to your pee holding muscles, i guess lmao

[jay, rip]

edge wrote: "what on earth is a fleshlight

UPDATE: oh."

LMAO

[edge]

jay wrote: "edge wrote: "WHAT IS IT WITH PEEING AND SNEEZING SOMEBODY EXPLAIN"

okay so when you really gotta piss and you sneeze sometimes. a little comes out. because it's a sudden movement to your pee holdi..."

oh. i guess that makes sense. Thank you.

[jay, rip]

anytime lmaoo

[edge]

what the hell was that did i just see a pretzel biking

[edge]

ALRIGHT
Bitches may I have your attention.

Lip biting is not sexy anymore. Please stop posting your puke-inducing lip bite photos on Instagram before I throw up.

Thank you.

[edge]

the engineering department looks so fun. im starting to regret my life decisions :( ):

[edge]

why do i have to take up law it's so boooorrringgg

[edge]

edge wrote: "why do i have to take up law it's so boooorrringgg"

oh yeah, bc my mother dearest is a lawyer and she expects me to follow her footsteps. Isn't that great? (:

[edge]

remember when i was talking about how i hate my chest and stuff? now i just found a beautiful advantage of having them: they're built-in hand warmers <3

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oh jesus it is cold. even my boobs are not warm enough

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pa-pa-pa-PATHETIC.

[edge]

If you have met your knight, and he's in a 'shining armor,' then he hasn't been to the real battles yet.

[edge]

Saw a dog today

[edge]

Can i pet your dog

[edge]

Please. I havent touched a dog in the last 3 years

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Okay fine i was exaggerating. I havent touched a dog in 3 months. But the pain is just as equal

[edge]

Please can i touch your dog

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I hate when i meet strangers in the elevator and theyre like, "hey whats up? Ooh same floor, floor buddies!" And im like "yeah." And they shut up and immediately assume that im really just reserved and quiet. Um dude no im not quiet and sure as hell not reserved. Im just hungry alright so please stop judging me

[edge]

SO they're asking me to rate myself according to these skills

Design Project Management
Marketing Project Management
Other Project Management
Software Development Project Management
Web Development Project Management
Writing Project Management

i dont even know what those are help

[edge]

Financial Analysis
Financial Forecasting
Financial Management
Inventory Management
Invesment Researching
Payroll
Quickbooks
Strategic Planning
Tax Preparation
Xero

umm whatttt

[edge]

im just 15 >.< i dont even know how to sell girl scout cookies

[edge]

im gonna cry

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they even emphasized this:

Don't fake it. If you fake it the employer will know very quickly and they'll probably fire you because you lied here. If you don't have a skill, leave it blank. It wont prevent you from getting a job.

[edge]

im gonna die unemployed

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im gonna die poor (no actually i have a business but still...)

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im gonna die a virgin

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i am dead. R.I.P edge

[edge]

what iz lyf

[edge]

so, brains and english skills are not enough to get you a professional job

[Hallie]

edge wrote: "so, brains and english skills are not enough to get you a professional job"

I'm dying unemployed then.

[edge]

Hallie wrote: "edge wrote: "so, brains and english skills are not enough to get you a professional job"

I'm dying unemployed then."

R.I.P us

[edge]

accio food.

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what

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"Well, if I was bitchy then, now when I just found out that I'm pregnant and my hormone levels are through the roof, imagine how bitchy I can be now, and they also say that I curse a lot. I don't fucking curse a lot."

Legendary.

[edge]

I DoN'T fUcKInG cuRSe a LoT

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"Okay, let's move on. So what I'm doing right now, right now I'm just staring at my vodka bottles, which of course I can't have because, remember I'm pregnant, so I'm looking at my Smirnoff and Absolut and... mmm... I have some champagne, as well, and some wine and of course I can't have any of them. "

i love this chick so much

[edge]

so i was triggered when she actually mentioned Chuck Palahniuk.

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but she said something like Jack Polenick? wtf i had no idea what she was saying but then she was talking about the author so now i know

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The Quiet Afternoon Swim Terror

One fine afternoon Sunday, I took a walk in the woods near the river. It was quiet, the sun was shining not-so-harshly, the birds were chirping their happy songs, and the trees were swaying lightly in accord to the breeze.

I was alone, no one was bothering me. That river was my own little happy place. It was a place where I could think peacefully and draw.

There is this particular part of the river where a narrow strip of water was sandwiched between two parallel rectangular boulders. Those boulders ran deep into the ground, like really deep.

The thing with these rocks was that, one rock was higher and the other one was lower. Therefore the first rock resembles a cliff and the other resembles a shore.

The water, though narrow, was even deeper. From a far perspective, the spot looked beautiful and tranquil, thus it became my favorite thinking spot.

So I went there and sat on the higher side of the twin boulders. I was a little bored so I stood up, walked around the water and tiptoed on the lower rock which was quite mossy, slippery and not to mention, dangerous since it had just drizzled a little, enough to moisten the ground.

It was risky but at the same time, fun... until my foot stepped on a green surface and slipped. It was a quick movement but friction somehow won at the second and my whole body momentarily froze.

I knew then I was in trouble and one small movement could kill me.

I don't know what happened but for a tiny fraction of a second I considered taking another step then I slipped.

My whole entire body plunged down into the bottomless river and I remember grabbing on the slippery, flat surface trying to stop myself from going down but, failed.

I stayed underwater for a few seconds. I remember seeing white little bubbles coming out from my mouth. I waited for buoyancy to do its thing but then I realized it was a river. It was freshwater. There are little to no amounts of salt that were present in the water that could possibly float me up to the surface.

So I swam. I swam and swam until my body ached. I was pretty sure that I was already 10, 15 feet below and I was losing air. I don't know if I could make it, but then I did.

I reached the surface and I breathed in large mouthfuls of air, unsure if I was grateful for this... second life? second chance? I don't know but all I know was that I didn't want to die yet and
I have a lot more to achieve in life.

So... here I am, typing this now and still thinking if that decision was worth it.

[edge]

i am stupid. :)

[edge]

then you havent read my little stunt ^

[edge]

:) *shrugs*

[edge]

now what