The GRRRR!!!!!! thread Showing 501-550 of 1,404

[Aislinn]

I'm obviously not fixed, but it definitely helped. I for sure hope the same for you!

[Amy]

I think it is different here. I also think it's different now compared to when I went. Psychologists have to be accredited by the BPS that only came in in the last decade or so. Now they're all qualified. I don't believe they can prescribe drugs. I think that's Psychiatrists/GPs. (Daughter wants to do psychology at uni she won't have the ability to prescribe drugs at the end of it.) So if you want to avoid drugs at all costs go for a psychologist who will work with various therapies which may or may not include CBT. I wonder what qualifications school counsellors have in the UK. Secondary schools have to have counsellors now because there is no mental health provision for 16-18 year olds. How they got away with that I have no idea.

[Matt]

Alex wrote: "@Matt, I think things are a bit different over here with psychologists and therapists, though I can't say that's the case definitively. I've heard they're discouraged from simply medicating nowaday..."

It may have changed here in Merica, since my experience was years ago. I doubt it though; we're the Land of Pills. Watch TV for an hour and you'll see 25,000 drug ads. (One of the reasons I don't have TV.)

The problem is really acute with the elderly. They scarf down whatever the doctor prescribes because they're scared of the inevitable decline.

It's shameful, because a lot of health problems can be solved by dieting, supplements, and exercise. You know, the boring stuff. I've never heard a traditional doctor talk about this at length. A homeopath I went to recently did, and I learned a lot about dieting and supplements that are safe.

But, you know, homeopaths are crazy! Water pills! You should go to a traditional doctor, so they can prescribe a quick-fix pill!

I envy you folks in the UK, with your single-payer health care system. Here in Merica, we're still puttering along with some godforsaken quasi-governmental nonsense.

Oh, and after failing laughably the first time, Trumpcare is back, and it has more traction. I don't see it passing the Senate in its current form, though. It's great political theater - the Republicans' central message for years has been "Repeal Obamacare," and then when they finally get up to bat they've got nothing.

[Amy]

The NHS way at the moment seems to be:

We don't have enough money for this.
"Go away and think about it, but it's probably nothing."
I hope to f that clears up on it's own like I told her because I haven't a clue/don't believe her/she's making a mountain out of a molehill.
Weeks pass...
"Oh you're back again, oh, it didn't go away on it's own. Maybe I can send you for some tests or get you an appointment with a specialist."
Damn, that's going to eat into our budget.

Or at least that's how it feels, hence four osteopaths and a podiatrist (that I paid for) diagnosed me with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, but the NHS GP told me I was depressed and gave me Prozac. I wish I had private health care, if I did I would have the full picture of exactly what type of EDS I have. Instead I've ordered the latest book in the hope that will shed some light.

The NHS in principal is excellent, but it is critically under-funded.

[Julia]

Alex wrote: "The NHS sounds good, and the principle certainly is, but the reality is that you end up waiting months, if not years, for surgery or to be seen by a specialist if your problem is not critical, by w..."

I've got to be honest, but I've always been impressed with the NHS and any treatment I've needed was done within a few weeks. I couldn't believe the swiftness of my treatment when I was diagnosed with skin cancer. I saw my doctor in the June and she packed me off to the specialist at the hospital. Three months and two ops later I was done and dusted.
But we are an older generation now, with all the complications that brings. I really hope the NHS doesn't buckle under the strain.

[Amy]

I would just like to moan about pain and fatigue and the fact that it took me half an hour to shamble half a mile this morning with what could have been Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome related dislocated (or similar) toe and a walking stick and all the other pain and fatigue I have at the moment.

Also my vision is rubbish.

Also I think there was fraud on our joint current account. Unless I have signed up for something with the same reference number that would take £29 on 1st and £25 on 2nd out of our account and claim to be a direct debit for a paypal payment. I've been racking my brain and I can't think what it might be that would be a recurring payment. Unless it's my two book covers, which is fine, but not the correct account.

[Amy]

Turns out it was my book covers, must be the exchange rate. And why Paypal chose that account to pay for them I don't know. But anyway my two book covers for £55 in total. Not bad eh?

[C.L.]

Not bad at all, Amy, and they look great!

And yeah, it is VERY common world-wide for women to be dismissed and for their physical symptoms to be blamed on psychological ones. My neighbour has dizzy spells that doctors keep telling her is anxiety. And she's like, "but I'm not anxious. It hits even when I'm happy and relaxed" but they don't believe her because the MRI turned up nothing.

[Amy]

Dizziness could be many things other than anxiety. It's one of those illnesses that because nothing shows up on a blood test it's difficult to pin point the cause.

I'm annoyed about the PayPal payments, they went from the wrong account which isn't terrible but because of that I'd already tried to query it with PayPal. As of last night nothing was showing up on my PayPal status screen for queries. I don't know what's going on with that. I don't like unknowns.

I've applied for a blue badge to get me into disabled parking spaces. I'll be laughed out of the application process but enough people said I should try. Again EDS is a thing that is visible to the naked eye if you know what you're looking for but not always taken seriously. My diagnosis and treatment from the last 20 years has been private. The NHS tried to say I had depression and nothing else. So I paid osteopaths and a podiatrist. There are plenty of people leaping out of in disabled spaces round here with no visible disability. I hobble in pain with dislocated joints and I'm out of breath. But the chances of me getting a blue badge I've been told by one person in the know is virtually nil. So we'll see.

[Amy]

Thanks Alex. I've got myself into a situation where I don't really know where to go from here. I could do with some good news on anything soon.

[Amy]

I would like a piece of good news that doesn't involve me going anywhere and dealing with people. Our son has won a Jack Petchey award-fantastic, but we have to go to the local theatre next week to watch him pick it up. It's a week away and I don't have to details of when we need to get there yet. Schools are notorious for leaving details to the last minute. On the day before that our daughter has a careers thing we are expected to go to for hours in the evening. It'll be crowded. I'm having a "don't do crowds" month at the moment. I'm currently in a state where I worry about everything. It's not healthy.

[Amy]

Yes, it has been a bit full on for the last year. It wouldn't be so bad if I had anything to show for it, but with the state of my business, despite my best efforts I'm not actually making any money at the moment. None of that helps.

[Carole]

Congrats on your son, Amy. I hope you feel better soon.

[Amy]

Thanks.

[Nat]

I was having odd symptoms and the Dr told me it was anxiety... and I'm all, no, I feel fine, except for when I get dizzy, light headed and feel like I want to vomit. He dismissed me.

Then I went to a female natural path and we worked on food allergy things and realized dairy was giving me these symptoms.

Blood tests said I wasn't allergic to dairy, but I quit eating milk products and no more dizziness, shakes, etc.

I guess dairy was giving me anxiety. :P~~

And hugs to everyone struggling with pain and physical disability.

[Amy]

Hah, love it when people find real life causes for things plaguing them that can actually be changed. Well done Nat.

[Aislinn]

I certainly understand those same frustrations! If only life didn't get in the way...

[Theodore]

Am in the middle of a "discussion" with Outskirts Press at the moment regarding their demand that I pay them an annual fee of US$25 to store the digital file for the paperback edition of my novel, House of Cards: Dead Men Tell No Tales. I'm sure if I were to look into the fine print of the contract I signed some years ago I'd find that requirement, but frankly, it's become onerous over the years, given I haven't sold one paperback in quite a while. (The Kindle edition, on the other hand, is another story.)

What I find disturbing is that prior to having that book published by Outskirts Press (and make no mistake, they did a fine job producing both the Kindle and paperback editions), I published several books through AuthorHouse (that's another story). The latter has never charged me a cent for maintaining my digital files.

Now, of course, I use CreateSpace and KDP for all of my publications.

I have basically said I will no longer pay the "storage fee," which will result in the paperback edition of HoC no longer being available. Frankly, I'm hard-pressed to see the downside.

Lesson: check carefully if you use a publishing house to put out your books for charges such as these that could more than erase any royalties you might otherwise receive in the out-years.

[Amy]

Well if you haven't sold any for a while, why pay the fee? I was in contact with AuthorHouse a few years ago before I published. Is it any good?

[Theodore]

Amy wrote: "Well if you haven't sold any for a while, why pay the fee? I was in contact with AuthorHouse a few years ago before I published. Is it any good?"

Exactly.

I published my first few books with AuthorHouse and they did a fine job. (I used the same team in Bloomington, IN, for these; absolutely superb group...very responsive.) Then, I was asked to help a young man publish a book of poems. In the middle of the effort, AuthorHouse moved shop to the Philippines, and things went to Hell in a handbasket. We finally got the book out, but it took more than twice as long as it should have, with files already reviewed being sent back to us for unneeded rework. It was at that point that I tried Outskirts, which did a fine job, as well, but frankly, CS and KDP are today's solution, even if you need help with your covers. Here, help is available both from CS and KDP as well as from places such as SirSpeedy and others like them.

[Amy]

Ok thanks for the info. How do places like that survive with CS and KDP now I wonder?

[Theodore]

Amy wrote: "Ok thanks for the info. How do places like that survive with CS and KDP now I wonder?"

Well, the number of people self-publishing has grown considerably, and many need help with formatting, editing, covers, etc. It takes quite a bit of skill, when you think about it, to put a book together. But where these houses really take people for a ride is on the marketing end, and that's where things can get out of hand fast. Rarely are expectations met, much less even approached.

[Amy]

I'm glad I didn't get involved although I've yet to make any kind of splash as an indie.

[Theodore]

Theodore wrote: "Am in the middle of a "discussion" with Outskirts Press at the moment regarding their demand that I pay them an annual fee of US$25 to store the digital file for the paperback edition of my novel, ..."

Just to put a cap on this discussion, I never did hear back from Outskirts Publishing regarding this issue. I have to believe they have deleted my paperback file from their server, leaving only the Kindle edition available on Amazon (aside from the used paperback copies still available, of course).

Again, if you use one of the many publishing houses out there to publish your next book, read carefully the terms that apply, especially in the out-years. You may find the gift that keeps giving...to the publisher, at your expense!

[Theodore]

Alex wrote: "It seems my mum's health issues have not been resolved, she collapsed this morning and had to be taken to hospital, where she had another seizure.
Still no idea what's causing these problems but s..."

So sorry, Alex. Sending good thoughts your way and hoping for a speedy recovery on your Mom's part.

[Carole]

Alex wrote: "It seems my mum's health issues have not been resolved, she collapsed this morning and had to be taken to hospital, where she had another seizure.
Still no idea what's causing these problems but s..."

Sorry to hear that, Alex. Prayers and hugs coming our way to you.

[Amy]

Oh not again Alex. I really hope they find the cause soon.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Oh, Alex, so sorry to learn this news. I understand your anxiety with hospitals. Prayers for comfort, health, and healing for your Mum and prayers for comfort for you while you worry. Hugs

[Carole]

MY husband was going through the same thing- turned up to be too much blood pressure med- they were drying him out creating all kinds of deficiencies. Hope they sort it out soon.

[Amy]

I know someone else that happened to.

[Carole]

He's fine now- but it took a long time to find the right combination of drugs to keep him balanced.

[Amy]

It would be an idea to find out why she's seizing in the first place.

My grrrr is I've got a horrendous earache and sore throat. I can't remember the last time I had this. (OK that's just pain, and frankly with EDS I'm used to pain, angry, but use to it.)

I'm trying very hard to put the finishing touches to Nate and Day. I read through it again today. At the weekend at the caravan whilst running Grammarly alongside Word with the only internet the hotspot on my iPhone I tweaked it and there were some minutes where everything ground to a halt. Probably down the the fluctuating 3G signal in the countryside. Today I've gone through it again to find that somehow some words have been replaced with gibberish. I think I've found them all. I think I've managed to change things whilst keeping the book to the length of I'd ordered the cover for. FFS! I just want to get the thing done so I can move on.

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Sorry for your pain, Amy. Yes, it is aggravating. Good luck with Nate and Day. Hugs

[Amy]

Thanks Sam. I'm getting there. In case I haven't said it in a while-I hate formatting...

[Amy]

I think I'm there thanks. I've formatted for PB, Kindle and Smashwords. I'm giving it one more read through for errors. I'm quite determined not to change anything else drastically.

[Angel]

I feel your pain Amy and Alex. My husband went through the same thing having seizures. Prayers to you and your family Alex.
Amy I've been going through the same frustration with rereleasing my second book. But finally this time around I hope I won't have to endure it again and finally after umpteenth times with it I hope I can finally move on to getting my other works out now that I've finally rereleased it. It won't be officially live until this Friday. But it drove me bat crazy going through it again using Grammarly, ProWriting Aid, Hemingway Editor, beta after beta/editor too many times to count to work all the kinks out. I hope we both are successful and can finally move onto the next books. Fingers crossed and hoping for peace of mind.

[Amy]

Let's hope so Angel. I'm less clueless with this book. But in being less clueless it's been more nerve racking. I suppose my third may be better written from the start. (The first was far from hideous, I have read much worse. And I will accept that I'm a good writer if it kills me.) I've used Grammarly, ProWritingAid (and CL lol) I looked at Hemingway but wasn't sure if I was looking at the correct Hemingway because the website didn't impress me (so fussy! Plus I couldn't find a free trial download.) I am, I hope on my final read through which I'm doing on my phone because of the random corruption of the text at the weekend when I was running Grammarly from the phone's hotspot. (Something I won't be doing again.)

I must have swelling somewhere-my sore throat and earache js making my neck stiff. Moan.

[Carole]

Hope you have a better day today, Alex. Thinking of you and your mom.

[Carole]

Great!!

[Amy]

So, no news, they're just sending her home with more meds then? Oh well.

[Amy]

Alex wrote: "Amy wrote: "So, no news, they're just sending her home with more meds then? Oh well."

That about sums it up. Home now, and she seems alright, but that's not the same as being alright."

Nope. Not knowing what's wrong is far worse than knowing what it is and then being able to come to terms with it. I hope they figure something out soon.

[Nat]

Alex wrote: "It seems my mum's health issues have not been resolved, she collapsed this morning and had to be taken to hospital, where she had another seizure.
Still no idea what's causing these problems but s..."

Alex this is terrible. I'm sorry to hear it. Wishing you and your family health, wealth and joy (If I had magic powers, you would so be in the sweet spot right now.) Take care of you and your family!

[Carole]

Always health!! The rest will follow.

[Carole]

And you started hanging out with the right people, who are proactive and supportive!!!

Way to go Alex, I hope it quadruples, really fast.

[Amy]

Awesome Alex $5k? I sort of think I'd be lucky to reach $50 at the moment.

My grrr is that right now it feels like I'm expected to put in the same effort as everyone else but not get paid for it. I've also just had one of the worst business weeks for my main income that I've had in 16 years. In fact it's like it was 16 years ago. I've seen 4 people this week. (Down from 35 a week a few years ago) and I've paid hundreds of pound for stock that people have not bought because they've cancelled. Add that to the fact that I can't sell books and I'm pretty grrrr right now.

[R.L.]

Thinking of making "The Grrr" a Monthly column in the magazine. A place where any author can write an article and basically let it all out in regards to their frustrations with all aspects of writing, reviews, publishers, etc. It would be completely anonymous and would state that along with "views expressed aren't necessarily those of I.A.M". If interested you can submit those to articles@indieauthorsmonthly.com

Just be sure not to use any profane language, and you can pretty much have at it.

[Amy]

I only have one writing grrrr and that is it doesn't matter how good I am, and I am a good writer, I don't sell books. And when I say sell, I mean actually see royalties, I'm not talking about giving them away for free. People will take any amount of stuff they're not interested in if you offer it for free, take it home, think "What the hell did I pick that up for" and then bin it. It's the same with books. I've given this a lot of thought and I will never be one of these authors content to just have the kudos of publishing a book and have no-one buy it. It's just not the way I am.

[Amy]

I don't think I'll bother putting a book up for preorder again. I may just as well chuck it out for real and not sell any than stick it up for preorder and not sell any. I guess this is where you find out how serious people you know are when they say they can't wait to buy the second one.

[Amy]

Yeah that's the theory. In practise though I don't sell books. And I have had a number of people I know mention that surely it's enough to have them read for free. Er no.

[Amy]

It annoys the hell out of me. How would they like to go to work for six months and not earn a penny.