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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 10401:
by
edge
(new)
Jun 11, 2018 09:35AM
we dead but revenge us do USA bye
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After today, I've changed my mind. I wanna drop dead right this instant.
What made you change your mind so quickly? What’s bothering Hals?
To answer that question, I'll have to use words I've only used previously in my head.
And are you comfortable with using those words again? I might know what answer is coming, but I want to ensure that you don't feel uncomfortable with using them.
If I was, this journal would be full of it.
True, you have a good point there. Man I always wonder what makes you so suicidal! Why not enjoy life? Why not live it to its full potential? And most of all, why die? What would "being set free" do for anyone anyways? I've never been suicidal in my life, so I wouldn't know what you people feel. And that's what drives me to stop it. Stop it Hals! Suicide and death aren't something you should wish for, in my opinion.
Legit everyone who know me in real dislike me and ignore me. I'm stuck doing stuff I'm not interested. Let's have a lesson on social anxiety: it's killing me. How, just how the heck am I supposed to "enjoy life" when I have no means to and when I'm not permitted to. The point of full potential of my life was surpassed years ago. Why die? Well, why live?
Like won't everyone be more happy when I'm gone?
There are people I've never even talked to before hating on me.
I wouldn't be happy at all. Doesn't matter if i've never meet you in real life, I enjoy talking with you, any subject doesn't matter. Like the currency and temperature debates? That kept me on my heels the entire time I typed!
Alright, so now I need to care about your happiness? I do, but what about my happiness? I'm not happy as long as I'm alive. Can't I be selfish for once?
Also, you would be having a better time in a long run. No "Hals please don't!"
hi Talkie I'm new here and I'm sorry to intrude on your conversation, but I've been there and I still am sometimes it's not worth giving up I know you're unhappy but there's always hope for the future
I won't say "Hals please don't!" You know why? Cause it nevers seems to do anything. I understand I can't stop you from killing yourself, I understand I probably can't do anything to change your happiness, I understand you think your life doesn't matter. But to me your life matters. You know what Hals? I'll say it now and I've been holding it in for too long. You changed my life! I don't know what I'd be doing without you on Goodreads. I probably would've quit and never came back on. Without you, I don't know if I'd be staying up so late at night just waiting for me to talk to a friend because most of my rl ones don't want to talk. Without you, heck I'll bring my child into this conversation! I don't know what I'd be doing right now if it weren't for you. Let's just say, your life matters to me.
Hi Kitty! Ummmm sorry you had to see this... Uh well, knowing myself, the future will be an even bigger disaster, so I don't really care.Jellybean, now you're just saying that for the sake of the point. Let's be honest: if not me, it would have been someone else. Goodreads has a lot of friendly people and a lot of groups even better than Elysian Darkness. You would have met them and had a good time with them. Secondly, meeting me is like the worst thing that has ever happened to you because I betray and hurt people eventually (remember the Harley incident?). I'm really not a good person.
You don't have to apologize to me I may not know you yet but I can tell you're a nice person
I'm saying it for the sake of this point, Hals. Now I'm known to tell fibs and lies but everything I just said there was 100% true. Also, I highly doubt I would've found someone else that would've impacted my life like you have and I don't care about those "other better groups". Your groups have already done enough impact on my life and they're just doing more. Secondly? I don't think that was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Also I'm not Harley, am I? Nope, Harley was a friend of mine too until he made us both feel a little uncomfortable. Well he probably made you feel very uncomfortable but I wouldn't know. So what? You may deem yourself as a "terrible person" but I deem you as an amazing online friend! :)
the future is a mystery you never know what will happen just don't give up
♛✧jellybean✧♛ wrote: "I'm saying it for the sake of this point, Hals. Now I'm known to tell fibs and lies but everything I just said there was 100% true. Also, I highly doubt I would've found someone else that would've ..."Harley lmao
Jellybean, what I'm trying to say that I'm not the one that impacted your life. It would have been even better if someone else came into your life instead and perhaps they might and you'll forget all about me. That's life. Oh, I know it's the worst thing. You're not Harley, but I've antagonized plenty of people before him and will guarantee that the will be more after him. We're kind of close, so higher chance of that happening to you as well, unfortunately. I'd direct you to someone, and if they bear the same grudge against me as I do against them, then they'll tell you what kind of a terrible person I am.Kitty, eh nah I'm pretty annoying 😕 Well, not all of it is a mystery. Most of it isn't a mystery.
Really? That's a strange thing to say because you are the one that has impacted my life. Also I won't forget about you! I remember all my friends, or more so the ones that actually do something good in my life. You're one of them, don't say otherwise please. Not the worst thing Hals! :) I don't think there's a higher chance because of that, I think it's astonishingly lower because of that. And so what if others think you're a terrible person? They have their opinions and I have mine. Makes no difference to me what others think about you.
In the past, I had a different roleplay group. That was how the person I'm talking about first met me. I ended up antagonizing the entire group, and guess what - some of the main people I fought with were actually considered my best friends on the website prior to our feud. Even they said they had been impacted by my existence, but ultimately it ended in a bad way. It was the exact same thing. Now, you could say that it was the past and one incident (um, actually more than that), doesn't prove anything, but I have no intention to change. If I have to, I'll delete Elysian Darkness and if anyone tries to make a similar group or do anything that doesn't meet my draconian expectations, I'm more than ready to make their lives miserable. You have a the wrong opinion about me if you think I'm a good friend, because I'm not and will never be.
annoying I doubt that everyone has a different opinion of what's annoying and plans can always change the future can change you can make plans bit it might change
Hey I like being annoying! xP I mean.... Okay, so maybe yes, but whatever I do, it's going to remain the same. The one way I can change it is to prevent myself from reaching there. And that's what I want to do.
I like being annoying to so no judging I think that things can get better for you the future isn't really a stable thing anything can happen
Haha! Well, no matter what, I can't not age in the future, can I? That itself is one reason. So it technically can't get better - at least for me.
aging isn't really that bad is it? you get to get out of school get married and do all the things you want sure no one wants to get old but it's part of life and it's still pretty far away
Remember we're talking about my life here. I actually want to turn 18 for the few benefits it has, but everything after that will inevitably be a disaster. I definitely want to get out of school, but I'm not very keen on attending uni anymore. I won't be able to do anything worthwhile after it. And most of all, I don't want to get married, and no, that's point - I won't be able to do anything I want to do.
ok I kinda get that but there has to be more to life for you
ok I can tell I'm not wanted here either I'm sorry I intruded I just wanted to help I really hope you don't give up it's not nice to loose someone you care about
Nooo I certainly didn't mean it that way! I'd love to have you around :)
Hallie wrote: "In the past, I had a different roleplay group. That was how the person I'm talking about first met me. I ended up antagonizing the entire group, and guess what - some of the main people I fought wi..."Uhh, sorry to come back at this but I just had to say something. I've been thinking for awhile what I would do if the group were to be deleted. Suddenly I came to a final conclusion: nothing. I might say a couple of things like I miss it and I wonder who won the rebellion every now and again, but I swore to myself I would never rant on and on about how you might've made a huge mistake in my opinion and I would never say how much I might've hated you. That wouldn't make things any better. I probably would just keep my journal up about it and keep on posting things to it, being I love it so much anyways. I really do hope it never comes to that though, being Elysian Darkness is like a haven for me now.
♛✧jellybean✧♛ wrote: "Hallie wrote: "In the past, I had a different roleplay group. That was how the person I'm talking about first met me. I ended up antagonizing the entire group, and guess what - some of the main peo..."My biggest question is how do you know that you aren't just infatuated with it? It's nothing special, really, no matter what perspective you look at it, but you still seem to adore it. Some day something else will look more pleasing, so what I'm trying to say is that you can't be too sure. What if I impulsively change the rules and plots and make some major changes like I did once before? What if I don't think of good plot ideas? You'd be dissatisfied.
If I'm not dead by the next school year, can I still least be homeschooled?
Hallie wrote: "♛✧jellybean✧♛ wrote: "Hallie wrote: "In the past, I had a different roleplay group. That was how the person I'm talking about first met me. I ended up antagonizing the entire group, and guess what ..."
People say you go mad in isolation.Well, if this goes on, I'll go mad if I'm not in isolation.
sorry to intrude again I'll disappear now now I just want to ask are you homeschooled?
Since when did I hate people this much?
Kitty wrote: "sorry to intrude again I'll disappear now now I just want to ask are you homeschooled?"Like I said before, you're not intruding and you don't have to disappear unless you're uncomfortable here :) Nope, I'm not homeschooled.
Hallie wrote: "If I'm not dead by the next school year, can I still least be homeschooled?"^ I just realized that I typed the wrong word here. It was supposed to be at least, not still.
ok I just asked I'm not uncomfortable tho I'm just intruding and I don't like intruding also I wish I could help you out with the homeschool thing
Oh no, I don't mind. You're not intruding at all! It's fine, though.
Hello, intruding! I'm Hallie!(Please throw your shoes at Hallie, the Queen of making the lamest jokes!)
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