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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 5101:
by
Hallie
(new)
Jan 16, 2018 08:10AM
And three thousand bottles of antidepressants.
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Thanks Hallie.I'm sorry I've been having such extraneous mood swings lately. My perfectionism is part of it, but my parents suspect that the consequences of my age are not helping.
And I realize I'm talking way more about myself than usual and not checking in enough. I apologize for that too. It makes me sad to see you feeling this way but I'm sure it's justified. If you ever want to talk, I'm here.
Which group is this out of curiousity? And which one did you leave? You don't have to say. I'm just always eager to hear about groups.
I'm feeling much better thanks to an event today... so I'm going to try and channel this feeling, avoiding outbursts on a journal that's not mine.
Aw thanks Val *hugs back* I'm okay. Really. I have support irl. Just emotionally unstable due to things I can't always blame myself for.
*group hugs Val and Hals and Alia*
Hey! To be honest, same. I guess I shed a tear or two and almost broke my arm yesterday because of my mental turmoil, so my capricious mood swings are just.... I don't know... It's really fine! Your life is way for interesting than mine ever will be.
*puts on creator hat and grins* I created a group called Elysian Darkness. It's a mediaeval fantasy roleplay group that is as boring as me, so I'm just kind of annoyed that I didn't do make it right. But I started one roleplay there and I'm actually enjoying it, so I'm hoping it will inspire me to roleplay again in the Harry Potter group :)
I'll run over to your journal to see if there is anything there :P
Anyway, since we have a group hug and it's tempting so...
Please tell me they have a nice picture of me not in my school uniform! I don't want to have to leave that behind for them either.
I should do something about my sleep cycle.
Hallie wrote: "Hey! Uh just assume that I'm sleep-typing and not tossing around trying to sleep.To be honest, same. I guess I shed a tear or two and almost broke my arm yesterday because of my mental turmoil, s..."
*hugs Hals*
Be careful. I know what it's like, Hallie. It's the worst thing. I know. Good thing we have each other. Your life is extremely interesting to me as an American and younger student. I thirst for academic rigor and learning more about other countries.
Oh so cool! I should do more with Plutonium. The poor group has been abandoned. I'll check yours out, I'm sure it's amazing! I hope so too! Would love to see you in the HP group!!!
Congrats! You're welcome to advertise in the HP group too. :)
Haha no I didn't post anything. It's an internal struggle. I'm intruding if I post on your journal. I'm weird if I post random comments on mine. I'm upsetting and annoying if I rant about the negative there. Yet I'm a show off I stick to the positive. Ugh Alia :(
Nice pic!! :D
Hallie wrote: "Hey! Uh just assume that I'm sleep-typing and not tossing around trying to sleep.To be honest, same. I guess I shed a tear or two and almost broke my arm yesterday because of my mental turmoil, s..."
oh no, stay safe and be careful Hals *hugs*
Hallie wrote: "Hey! Uh just assume that I'm sleep-typing and not tossing around trying to sleep.To be honest, same. I guess I shed a tear or two and almost broke my arm yesterday because of my mental turmoil, s..."
It's actually pretty boring. I don't do anything except be on Goodreads, read Webtoons or watch TV.
Speaking of which, I was to lazy to write up a personality for my character in the new group and ended up using the one I wrote in Plutonium xP I'll edit that later sometime when I'm not so meh. I'd feel really horrible if I advertised there because I rarely participate.
Hehe I checked already. :( *hugs*
I'm Eeyore :D
❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Hey! Uh just assume that I'm sleep-typing and not tossing around trying to sleep.To be honest, same. I guess I shed a tear or two and almost broke my arm yesterday because of my me..."
Candidly, I wish I do break an arm.
Besides, my right hand is already screwed up (? Sorry I can't think of the right word) thanks to years of holding pens the wrong way; and left wrist randomly hurts.
Hallie wrote: "❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Hey! Uh just assume that I'm sleep-typing and not tossing around trying to sleep.To be honest, same. I guess I shed a ..."
don't, I broke my arm when I was 7 and it wasn't fun.
I never broke one, so I admit I don't know how to feels. I want to kiss, though.
"Drink 8-9 glasses of water everyday."I drink around 3-4 glasses of water everyday????
Does it look like I care about the pain? It's so that my arm hurts that I want to break it.
Oh my goodness I can't believe what my two best friends just did!
Oh my gosh! I don't know whether I should laugh or whether I should be annoyed.
I'm not speaking to either of them because of that arguement we had a could of days ago ("Don't take it to personal btw" -_- ), and they finally realized that I'm not talking to them. And so S sends a 'Hey' on Instagram and H emails "Hey did u uninstall the app R u crazy
R u mad
R u alive
Did u lose ur ability to speak
Ariana Grande is *great*"
She forgot how to spell and punctuations going to that boring school!
Hallie wrote: "Oh my goodness I can't believe what my two best friends just did!"What happened??
I wonder if not talking to my parents would make them worry about me..... Maybe I should try it out.
What happens if I don't reply? Will they try calling me to check whether I'm still alive? After all, the last thing I told them was that I'd be dead when the conversation ends.
Explains the 'Are you mad? Are you crazy? Are you alive?' stuff.
Hallie wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Hey! Uh just assume that I'm sleep-typing and not tossing around trying to sleep.To be honest, same. I guess I shed a tear or two and almost broke my arm yesterday because of my me..."
You do other stuff... I just think the setup of your school system (in the UK) is fascinating! I have never told you this, but a friend of mine actually went to school in England for a year. She had some bad teachers but is a very good student and loved the rigor of some classes in comparison to what we got that year. So yeah XD
It's totally fine for you to use that one!! I do believe that it doesn't encompass the positive aspects of your personality enough but it's quite well written. :)
Don't be silly! You're a part of the family. Thus, you are invited to advertise in that topic.
*hugs back* Yeah I'm an overthinker...
Anyway it would sound too show-offy though. Last thing I want is to make people jealous or anything. That would be horrible of me. Plus, there are a lot of things that would not make people jealous that I just don't bring up as much.
Haha! Aww! Idk who I am XD
Aw Hallie :( *hugs*
Please don't take their faults out on yourself, okay?
That's quite insensitive on their part... I'm sorry.
I don't try those stuff out. My current school is known for having more events than normal days. We have sooooo much, and what I do is remain indifferent about it. My friend V auditioned for almost every club in the school except dance even though she dances, and then there is me who tried out one club and failed to get in. So not really interesting. I do want to modify it, though, because I don't want my character here to be another me. Maybe a different version of me, but I like making my characters a little different from each other. In my defence, I don't have anything positive to write about myself.
Uh I don't know. It feels rather selfish on my part if I advertise after being a disappointment.
You make me jealous enough by being you! Now feel horrible, Alia! xD I'm just kidding about the last bit.
Hmmm..... You could be..... I don't know. Winnie? xD
Alia wrote: "Aw Hallie :( *hugs*
Please don't take their faults out on yourself, okay?
That's quite insensitive on their part... I'm sorry."
It's actually my fault. I'll just go mad if I don't talk about it somewhere, and this is the only place I get to talk.
Hallie wrote: "I don't try those stuff out. My current school is known for having more events than normal days. We have sooooo much, and what I do is remain indifferent about it. My friend V auditioned for almost..."And that's okay! Listen, it was Mr. Knox in August (before I knew him) who said that the people who watch things happen are just as important as those who make things happen. And that's when I started to like him because I knew I was in that first category. It's so true! The people who make things happen do great stuff, but those who watch things happen gain a lot more wisdom which serves them better later in life. And later in life, they can create beautiful things. It's just that we'd rather not do it now. Nothing wrong with that!
She's likely stressed about all of it. Or if she keeps that cool facade, she's one of those miracle people. Don't take it personally. There aren't too many of those in the world.
Okay, you can absolutely change it then! I'm not the judge! Sorry, that first comment came off as weird. Don't pay attention XD
I can think of a multitude of positive things :)
You are NOT a disappointment! No one believes that! You are an integral part of this family. Just because you'd rather not rp doesn't make you a disappointment. If so, I'm just as much of one.
Aw I'm sorry :( I never wanted that to happen... seriously. Being me isn't always the best thing in the world. Far from it. I try to just focus on the good stuff... but yeah I'm not an idiot, that's why I know I'll make people jealous!
Sure maybe XD
Perhaps some of it is your fault. There are still two sides to every story. It can't all be your fault. Friendships are weird. And complicated. Feel free to talk here as much as you want.
Even if you acted in a way that wasn't so great, they should still be more respectful. Or call you out on it in a nice way. I doubt this warrants that anyway knowing you.
Alia wrote: "Hallie wrote: "I don't try those stuff out. My current school is known for having more events than normal days. We have sooooo much, and what I do is remain indifferent about it. My friend V auditi..."Well, let's see..... I basically do nothing. I just walk up to my classroom, stare at the teachers, and come back. I don't know what kind of wisdom I could possibly gain from doing that. She didn't get into every single one of them, so she ended up joining only two, but she said she had fun participating. I thought I'd have fun at mine, but I didn't thanks to my family. And then there was this inter-class fest and one of my classmates even called me 'useless' when I replied to her that I wasn't participating in any contest. She did apologize instantly, and I believe it was just a slip of the tongue because my class was lagging behind and they could use some prizes.
Hahaha xD Let me hear. I can't think of a single one.
It's not because I don't roleplay there that I think I'm a disappointment; it's because I left the roleplays I had without any notice or hope of returning.
Aw come on! I meant it as a compliment! You're just so ambitious and hard-working and I'm the polar opposite.
xP
Well, I made a big deal of it anyway. I might have seemed disrespectful to them, too. S said that, and I lashed back with the same because both of them ganged up against me to say that my favourite singer treats her fans like flies when she had organized a benefit concert for her fans three months before the incident they were talking about.
Now it's my turn to say "come on!" Do you forget every single thing that goes on? Do you literally look at nothing? Do you get 0's? No? Then you're doing something!! You are gaining wisdom. I can see it in your posts. Oh ok. That's a good number. That reminds me! The lit magazine won't end up meeting probably because of the snow we have. Oh well. Hope the submission deadline can be pushed up because we haven't gotten the word out. Anyway. Well it's your family's fault then! I regret that they inhibit your ability to enjoy yourself sometimes. That's why I'm so eager to see you when we're all in college and free of the shackles of being this age.
That is so rude!! She doesn't deserve any of your attention. Okay well maybe she was joking. Still, though. :(
I'll tell you, but first, you must promise not to immediately refute every point I make. XD
And guess what? I did the same thing! Just look at Ardelle and Toby. Poor Lacey had to PM me and ask if Toby could get together with another girl since I abandoned the roleplay. Abigail and Flemming too! I never replied to that :( So that does not make you a disappointment! Repeat, does not.
Oh XD Thanks, then! I often fail to be hardworking in any area but school (look at that poor cello) but I'll take it :) I think you are too! Perhaps not ambitious bur certainly hardworking! Ambitious sure has its drawbacks. I think you have plenty of ambition: you have stood strong against your family's wish about engineering and dreamed about majoring in English! That's something to be proud of!
I see. Sorry to hear about that. Perhaps it's a good idea to step away a bit. You can tell them that. Once you've had some time, you can have an honest talk about the issue.
Maybe I shouldn't have cried earlier because I'm in trouble now, but whatever. I'll just say I had a bad dream or I rubbed my eyes too much.
Alia wrote: "Now it's my turn to say "come on!" Do you forget every single thing that goes on? Do you literally look at nothing? Do you get 0's? No? Then you're doing something!! You are gaining wisdom. I can s..."*nods nods nods* That is legit what I do. I don't get 0's because the teachers somehow give me marks for the crap I write. Oh no! :( I'm sure it will be fine, though. It has you in it now :) Yeah, I know, they are just hopeless. I don't know about that..... They are getting wild ideas by totally disregarding my words and it's what makes me want to throw my books at their heads.
Candidly, she can be an annoying person because she fights with me for asinine reasons, but she got told off for this little comment by everyone in the vicinity. My friend even jumped in to say that I'm good at writing, but she never really saw any of my writings, so....
Uhhhh....... *puts in thinking cap* But you have legitimate reasons for leaving it off in the middle; I do not.
I'll just clear that up some other time. First, I need to punch my parents in the face. It seems really, really horrible to say this, but I don't care.
Can I borrow some cough syrup from one of you? My coughing is getting worse :/
Hallie wrote: "Can I borrow some cough syrup from one of you? My coughing is getting worse :/"oh no, I'm so sorry Hals. I'm sending you love.
Love will do, too ;D I haven't had that in a while.
*hugs back* I love you too, Kavy!!! :)
This is the part when my parents totally ignore my health and order me to study, and I feel like crap.
Hallie wrote: "This is the part when my parents totally ignore my health and order me to study, and I feel like crap."*hugs* I'm sorry Hals :( if I could I would fly over there and take you home with me.
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Books mentioned in this topic
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