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I need sound advice regarding a Dedicatory
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That's a very politicized statement. I would go with something much simpler and directed to your readers' level of understanding. "Never judge a book by its cover."
"To those who understand that not all hyenas are bad."
A line from your story that demonstrates Kena's goodness. "In her heart, Kena knew ______ was right/wrong..."
"To all the Kenas. I believe in you."
ok first of all...I don't understand those schools. Does that mean they wouldn't let the kids watch The Lion King? I mean, it's a book for kids. All and any animals could be good and in my opinion should be good. However, I don't understand your choice of word: Manichaeism. What age group is your story for?
Am I wrong that to say that by saying that not all hyenas are ugly and mean you want to teach kids not to judge the people of some religion or country or skin color to be all the same if one is bad?
If so, I would try to put it in children's words. The adults will understand the easier language, while kids will have absolutely no idea what Manichaeism means.
Great comment. Manicheism is a religion based on cataloging everything as good or bad, judging dichotomiclly everything. We use that word in Spanish, and I cannot come up with a better, easier translation.Thanks for your help, GG!
P.D. wrote: "That's a very politicized statement. I would go with something much simpler and directed to your readers' level of understanding. "Never judge a book by its cover."
"To those who understand that..."
You're right! I'll write something along those lines!
G.G. wrote: "ok first of all...I don't understand those schools. Does that mean they wouldn't let the kids watch The Lion King? I mean, it's a book for kids. All and any animals could be good and in my opinion ..."How about: "To all the Hyenas who are waiting for someone to discover the beauty and kindness that they treasure deeply inside"
Is that ok? Or once again, I'm wandering out of reality?
G.G. wrote: "ok first of all...I don't understand those schools. Does that mean they wouldn't let the kids watch The Lion King? I mean, it's a book for kids. All and any animals could be good and in my opinion ..."Your interpretation is very cool! Though, I should think carefully how to word it into the Dedicatory,
Martin wrote: "First, don't use the word Manichaeism if this is a kids book.Second. Let the story speak for itself. Make sure the story DOES speak for itself. If you have to explain it, you failed.
If the stor..."
In other words: you would not make the case on defense of the character at all in this instance (the dedicatory). But the comment about "letting the story speak by itself" it's a little vague. I mean, Kena acts as a good cub (actually, as a regular boy with faults and virtues). That's already there. But that might be a problem for some readers, and the choice of this character is so bold and challenging that I feel that I need to justify this choice. Tell about the motus. Somewhere, in a very outstanding spot.
In the same way, if you write a story about "The Good Nazi" somewhere, in the preface or prelimimary words, the reader might have some expectations of an explanation about this author's choice.
How about: "To all the children who, even though they don't know what 'judgemental' means, understand that is not wise to think that all hyenas are ugly and mean."
Mod
That's close to what I think you should do.
How about: "To all the children who understand that is not wise to think that all hyenas are ugly and mean." The bit about "don't know what judgemental means" sounds condescending.
Dwayne wrote: "Gabriela wrote: "How about: "To all the children who, even though they don't know what 'judgemental' means, understand that is not wise to think that all hyenas are ugly and mean.""That's close t..."
Humm, you might be right. But also consider that introducing a new big word might be a good occasion for parents and kids to discuss all the ways that you can be judgemental.
Mod
Dwayne wrote: "Okay, if you want the word in there, how about: "To all the children who are not judgmental, who understand that it is not wise to think that all hyenas are ugly and mean.""I guess that works.
Thanks to all the Goodreaders who took the time to give me their advice. All your opinions were useful!
I could understand the schools' objection of unrealism. I would think hyenas are generally not passive towards children or people. I was wondering if a dichotomy had to be made that all hyenas are not ugly and mean? Wouldn't that imply that some are, and others are good? Since you want to teach children acceptance of differentness, I would drop ugly and mean because such words would prejudice one to accept the good hyena and reject the so- called bad hyena. So how about this -- to all those children who would like to know about Kena the hyena?
Or even...This book is for everyone who understands, or needs to learn, that we are what is under the skin not what you see on the outside...
Tony wrote: "I could understand the schools' objection of unrealism. I would think hyenas are generally not passive towards children or people. I was wondering if a dichotomy had to be made that all hyenas are ..."You have a point, Tony (about the dichotomy)
Jane wrote: "Or even...This book is for everyone who understands, or needs to learn, that we are what is under the skin not what you see on the outside..."
Yes, Jane. Someting along your lines might be better.
The help that I'm asking for involves more than simple editing, or grammar revision. It's about good criteria, the legitimacy of a character, and what a dedicatory should and shouldn't be.
I'm the author of a picture book series, whose main character is a cub hyena. Some schools have rejected my book arguing that their philosophy "is based on reality" (Kena is the GOOD Hyena, and it is there where their objections strive).
I think I have to make a strong case on defense of my character, and I was thinking of doing it on the dedicatory. Please, advise if you think that this dedicatory is appropriated, opportune, and suitable for a children's book: "To all the children who, even though they don't know what 'Manichaeism' means, understand that is not wise to think that all hyenas are ugly and mean."
Should I bring up this question at the beginning of the book? Or just let my character gain the readers' hearts by himself?