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A Frustrating Lack of Support: Writing in Silence and Isolation
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Most family/friends/acquaintances are not readers. I do have those who are sort of in awe of the fact that I write/publish books, but they don't read, so even that little moment of "really? wow!" is not very helpful. A 2003 survey said:
33% of high school graduates never read another book for the rest of their lives.
42% of college graduates never read another book after college.
80% of U.S. families did not buy or read a book last year.
70% of U.S. adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.
57% of new books are not read to completion.
Even those who are 'readers' will probably read one book per month or fewer.
So 80% of the people you talk to will likely not read a book this year. Only a handful will read more than one or two books. Will yours be one of them? Chances are slim. Even those you give the book to for free will probably leave it sitting on their shelf (or kindle) gathering dust for the next three years.
You need to target the rabid readers of your genre. Talk to other writers in your space and get your support from them. Because chances are your real-life acquaintances are not your target market, are not avid readers, and know/care even less about this mysterious writing and publishing thing than they do about reading.
You are definitely not alone. Many authors encounter the same problem. For instance, many of my family members (three) intend on reading my books. Two of those don't usually read English. The third one read one book but lifestyle changed and she doesn't have time to read anymore. My husband hasn't read the finished product and doesn't really like it when I talk about it. I do consider myself lucky having a neighbor who read and enjoying both books, so maybe I'm a little ahead of you. One is better than none. What P.D. said is true. Most people don't read. And those who do often have specific genres they read only. That narrows it down again. That's why I love goodreads so much. Here I can talk about books, writing process etc without being given the deer caught in the light eyes.
There are groups and people who will advise you on anything you ask. Helpful people, authors and readers alike. Seek them. The best way to form a bond is sometimes with beta readers. I know from experience having done both beta read and having beta readers. One I've beta read came back to me weekly for a while and now he comes maybe once a month and asks questions about a piece of writing to know whether or not I think it fits and if I like it etc. the bond is there. I'm always willing to help.
As for one of my own beta reader, I just met him in real life last Saturday. He was traveling in the area and asked to meet me and my husband. We had a blast. I have to admit it is quite flattering to be named one of his three favorite authors of all time. Fantastic for lifting the spirit. I wish someone like that to every author. Don't give up. Your supporter might be standing right at the next corner.
There are friends to be made in this sometimes lonely world of ours. Sometimes it's only a nice review. Sometimes it's the chance to help each other with a question. Or just to share a joke.And just like the rest of life, the more you give, the more you get back.
Not everyone will want to read what we write. My long-suffering wife rolls her eyes every time I write something in sci fi or horror. And my Mum won't read my stuff any more. It's not her thing. But they support me anyway.
But if I might make a teensy weensy request? Can we have some paragraph breaks please? That big blob of uninterrupted text burns my old eyes.
Sorry Will; have added some optical breathing space. Every violin concerto needs measures of rest. My own eyes are not exactly youthful either!
Steven,Only someone who has actually expended the time and effort to learn and apply the craft and then have the end result published can truly understand and appreciate such a demanding task.
Resign yourself to the fact that, unless one of your published works attains significant commercial success, self satisfaction and self awareness will be the primary sources of recognition and appreciation for what you have accomplished.
Fortunately, I have a couple of advantages here. I belong to a book club so I know at least 12 people who read all the time. And they've also been great about reading my work and offering advice and criticism. I've also met helpful colleagues at writers conferences who have kept in touch and we read each others work and discuss. And then there's my oh-so-patient husband who insists that I read my work to him out loud so we can both hear how it sounds. He always has good advice (but he's an artist so I get to critique his paintings in return!).
Mallory, how wonderful to have all that support. I tried a book club for awhile, but the group interaction was dominated by two men who quite regularly ended up in spats over whatever book was being discussed. It was as if the book club was their private intellectual boxing ring. That and the choice of a book I had already read and found dull convinced me to exit the group.Your husband sounds great; I hope to find one like that as well.
Are you interested in moving to Minneapolis? We have The Most amazing writers group here, one of the oldest in the nation, started with the WPA. We are a warm and welcoming place, where you can read and get critiqued on the spot. Feedback and editing all at once. You name it, it's been read here. Even more, we come in all flavors. Coming from the northern part of the nation, you wouldn't even be shocked by our weather!
A bad experience with a book cIub is par for the course, try another. I used to live in L.A. Wonderful libraries there, book clubs, book stores as well as supportive writers. Volunteer or take a part time job in a library or book store. Meet ups groups offer lots of options for book clubs, writing groups and readers, often for free. The beta reader idea on goodreads is also worth pursuing in case energies are low for socializing. Helping other writers by proofing or editing leads to discussion, too.
Jim wrote: "Steven,Only someone who has actually expended the time and effort to learn and apply the craft and then have the end result published can truly understand and appreciate such a demanding task.
..." I completely agree.
Hi Steven! I'm a reader, not an author, but I can appreciate how frustrating it is to feel rejected by those closest to you when you talk about a topic about which you are passionate.For me, that topic is politics. I've been a campaign volunteer, have worked for a local legislator for many years (a job I adore, and consider more a vocation than anything else), and am an avid news junkie. So I love subjects that put other people to sleep. Literally!
I've learned who I can talk to about such things, and who requires a different repertoire. And the Internet has opened up completely new worlds to me. I've found dozens of people who I have never met who share my favourite obsession.
So all I can say is - hang in there! Those connections will come if you remember to be yourself, and not merely "Steven the writer". Once people get to know you, they will ask. Conversations will begin organically. And if they don't ask, all is not lost. You can discuss their passions, and make friends outside the bubble.
Steven,I have to suppose that being able to talk in person to someone about your writing, especially someone like your friend, was a marvelous experience. I write MM romances, but if word got out that I do, I'd most likely be in serious trouble with those who work in the same field I do, in my home city. I have two friends who know, but they're not much on reading (traveling, entertaining, etc.). They're happy for me when I let them know I've published something, but that's it.
I have, however, found an incredible online support group here at GR called MM Romance Writers. (This is not the 21K+ MM Romance Group.) We share our ups and downs in writing (reached my goal of 800 words today/only managed 63), ups and downs in real life, we talk about troubles with plotting and characters and proofing and formatting...just about everything. We share snippets of our work, ask for advice, get opinions on blurbs and covers.
And it's all done in a spirit of sharing and friendship, with a membership that's literally from around the world. And we have some very fine, well-established writers as members.
If I may say so without offense, it sounds like you could use a bit of our type of friendship.
If you'd like to know more, send me a PM.
Best wishes,
Eric
It took me 10 years for complete my BSEE after high school. Three of those years were spent in the army. 18 months in Vietnam. It took me a little over a year to earn my degree after I got out of the army. When I was actually in school, I carried an 18 hour workload each semester - mostly technical stuff - math, physics, and engineering. A great deal of the reading that I did after college was work related technical stuff. But I did read some good books. I also worked with a lot of books on writing software and communications system protocols. I remember spending a Saturday morning finishing Patriot Games. I can't do that any more. I am not capable of that kind of concentration. About 8 years ago, I accepted an invitation to join a book club. Over the past 8 years, I have read one or more books a month because of that club. Many of those book were borrowed from the library rather than bought because I prefer not to accumulate books that I am never going to look at again.The book club was kind enough to make my first novel one of their monthly selections. I got some good feed and a lot of encouragement. I am not going to ask them to read my second novel. My plan is to get involved with a Goodreads Beta readers and hope for an exchange. I will read novels for other people and hope that some of those people will read mine.
In the meantime, I am in sympathy with the sentiments expressed here but I also recognize that we live in a busy society with lots of demands, thousands of decent to pretty good books to read and endless television which is much less taxing than a good book.
Steven wrote: "Granted, this comment may simply be the outpouring of a man still grieving the loss of his best friend. I am gay, and she was straight. She was over 15 years older than me but her spirit was young ..."Steven, I'm glad a lot of people have responded empathetically with you here, for although you are alone in one sense, you are not alone in another sense. In the absence of a good, local writers' group, a forum like Goodreads can provide a valuable support structure, even if all you need to do at any given time is vent.
Regardless of your sexual preference, people shouldn't assume your work will be focused on gay life without having read it, but people make uninformed judgments all the time (and I count myself guilty of this at times) about everything and anything. I have read interviews with writers of color, who get similarly frustrated with being pegged as a "black writer," as if that's all they could write about, or worse, that's all they should write about or are able to. Or those who become famous for their books tightly associated with certain regions: "Oh, he's a Maine writer," as if he can't or shouldn't write anything without stereotyping his characters. There are "black" writers and "Maine" writers, but not all black writers write about black topics, and not all Maine writers write about Maine topics.
I hope you can find other writers in your locale with whom you can form a writers' group, if there isn't one nearby. I'm sure you are aware that some of them will suit you, and some won't - since each person brings different elements to the table and seeks different things to take away, the dynamics of each group are unique. I've been brainstorming for several months with a lady in my town (in eastern Massachusetts) about putting together our own writers' group and seeing who else comes out of the woodwork to join us - unfortunately, we've both been so busy with our other lives that it hasn't happened yet. But we will eventually do so.
And I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend - age, gender, political or religious affiliation - none of these matter when you have a spirit friend like that.
Go well, and my prayers are with you.
Like Mallory, my husband who is a fine art painter, is supportive of my writing efforts. I in turn support his painting and the shows we attend to sell his work. My extended family-son, grandkids, never ask about my writing nor do they read any of my novels. I do have a writers group in which the members support each other and suggest any writer needs the nurturing environment of such a group. Find a writers critique group and join it. Leave your emotions at home and be a part of a group that loves reading and loves writing. It is like the family you never had.
First of all, Steven, I'm so sorry that you've lost such a wonderful friend. She sounds like she was a true gem. That being said, you are not the only one. Family and co-workers (and several friends) are lukewarm at best about my writing endeavors, and most reply with "Oh. I'm not much of a reader". Online writing communities have been my balm against isolation ... Twitter and Facebook in particular, if either of those are your cup of tea. Also, consider participating in NaNoWriMo ... they sort participants by region, so you may be able to connect with other writers in your area.
Also: you officially have me in your court now, too. :) I've been doing a lot of talking with someone I know about this sort of thing, and we've come to the agreement that society just doesn't place as much value on the arts as it should ... but that's no reason to let other people invalidate what you love to do - what your calling is! Let your inner light shine, and eventually, those seeking to nourish their own will be drawn to it. I've seen it happen... I'm proof that it does. Have faith in whatever you believe in ... if nothing else, have faith in the writing. Trust the book.
Angela wrote: "...society just doesn't place as much value on the arts as it should..."Amen to that! There's a core of truth to this statement dating back centuries (at least in Western society), where the arts languished among the common people unless supported by a wealthy patron. No wonder generations of artists and would-be artists have been discouraged by their parents to go into the arts, sometimes forcing enrollment in studies with a better guarantee of lifelong income.
Funding for the arts is usually the first to be cut when it's budget time (but heaven forbid we touch sports, the professional longevity of which is even shorter and far more limited than that of the arts). Here in Massachusetts, in the past few weeks, although the legislature approved continued funding for the Center For The Book, the governor deleted this line item entirely. HERE! in the only Literary Cultural District in the world (established in 2014). HERE! where greats like Emerson, Thoreau, Poe, Longfellow, Whittier, Holmes, Lowell, and hundreds of others put Massachusetts on the literary map.
This is one reason why we who write (or paint or draw or dance or spin or throw pots or you-name-it) must write without regard for the opinion of the general populace - Angela's invalidation. We write because we must. And we must support each other. No one but I can tell my story. No one but you can tell your story. Each story is unique, and brings a valuable perspective to the world.
Write on!
Good morning all. Although I only just published my second book, I have been writing for most of my adult life. I freelanced for magazines and newspapers (the "old-fashioned kind" -- the ones people held in their hands) for years. I found that most of my "friends" were uninterested in what I had written. I never took this personally because I wrote a lot of about books, writers, and the arts and understood that that kind of writing had a limited fan club. But I was a bit hurt when this apparent lack of interest also applied to the first book I had published. It was a murder-mystery novel and I can count on one hand the number of my friends who were interested in reading it. Interestingly, I just published a memoir about raising my autistic daughter. I have found family members and friends to be more interested in reading this -- perhaps because they "know" the characters.
In any case, I write for the same reason others write -- because I feel I have something to say and I say it best when I'm writing.
Have a great weekend everybody!
I'm sorry for your loss Steve.I enjoy that none of my friends or family are interested in my writing, Knowing that they won't read my books means that I don't have to guess whether they did like them or are just saying that because they don't want to hurt my feelings.
It's also good to have a hard core of people who treat me as if I am nothing special because there are enough out there who think I am more special than I am and get a little star struck when they meet me
Molly wrote: "Good morning all. Although I only just published my second book, I have been writing for most of my adult life. I freelanced for magazines and newspapers (the "old-fashioned kind" -- the ones peopl..." I understand how you feel. I too am surprised at how most people who don't know me are more interested than those who do. I have another writer friend who says the same thing. When you are famous, watch out, they will act like they supported you all along. SPHERE TALAMH
Steven wrote: "Does anyone else, experience this seeming lack of even moderate support and this sense of isolation? "
As others have said, Steven, you're going to find support here within the Goodreads community. Personally, I don't even bring up the subject of my writing with friends or family (with the exception of my wife, who's very supportive).
As others have said, Steven, you're going to find support here within the Goodreads community. Personally, I don't even bring up the subject of my writing with friends or family (with the exception of my wife, who's very supportive).
Hey Steven,In Support for Indie Authors (and all over gr) you'll find similar threads.
There are those amongst us who support friends, and evn if we're not particularly interested in their venture, will give shout outs and help support in any way we can.
So, when it comes to ask for support in return it can be heartbreaking to discover that support isn't actually there.
It's fine. It's their bag, baby.
For years I've had "I only read paperbacks", so after over 3 years of ebooks, I've now released a pb. Yeah, I've sold ONE! :-/
Keep chatting to fellow authors; we're a very supportive bunch to each other (because of this lack probably).
Just remember who your true friends were when you reach the dizzying heights of your author heroes ;)
Chin up, fella.
xx
Alexandria wrote: "I'm sorry for your loss Steve.I enjoy that none of my friends or family are interested in my writing, Knowing that they won't read my books means that I don't have to guess whether they did like ..."
Alexandria wrote: "I'm sorry for your loss Steve.
I enjoy that none of my friends or family are interested in my writing, Knowing that they won't read my books means that I don't have to guess whether they did like ..."
Crystal wrote: "Molly wrote: "Good morning all. Although I only just published my second book, I have been writing for most of my adult life. I freelanced for magazines and newspapers (the "old-fashioned kind" -- ..."
Yes, Crystal -- Well, I doubt that I'll be "famous" -- it's not something I aspire to -- and while it's true that I would sometimes like those who "know and love me" to express more of an interest in what I write -- it doesn't bother me. In the end, we write what we feel we must write. That sounds pompous -- I know -- but it's true. I wrote about raising my autistic daughter because -- well, I felt it was a story I had to tell, and also because I think it could help parents of children diagnosed as being "on the spectrum." I used to write about books and literary trends because at that time, I was compelled to write about such things. It was the kind of topic for which one had to have a passion -- so if it pleased the anonymous reader and not people I knew, I was fine with that. :-)
This thread both saddened me at times and made me smile at times. I appreciate the support network of family and friends that I have. I, of course, like many, have no met with fame and acclaim, but that is neither why I write nor what I look for. I am lucky, I know, to have the support that I do. However, more to the point, I think perhaps a shift in thought might help. I have also encountered several who are disinterested, or don't believe it when I tell them or just plain don't understand that someone writes books and has them published. Sometimes I have actually shown them the work and they have replied, "Oh, you mean you're serious? You actually write books?"
Now, disinterest or cynicism could easily deflate my ego and enthusiasm. I just plain don't let it. I don't care if others show disinterest because not everyone likes the same things. Still, for as long as they will listen, I will share. You never know when you will happen on the next person who wants to know more. So, I tell everyone, young and old, everywhere.
That said, I never put on airs. If I like things others like, cool, if not, cool. Same goes in reverse. I say like what you like, love what you love and discuss topics of interest to you with passion. Who cares if anyone agrees or not? I think I learned long ago to live for me and put the opinions of others second. I believe that developed because of my rampant geekiness. Besides for my writing, and always taking notes in my writing ideas book, I also flagrantly discuss my stop motion animation, my massive Transformers collection and my love of Marvel movies, among other things. I get a lot of screwed up stares until people learn not to bother because I don't care.
Always be true to you, respect others and if they show the things you enjoy even a glimmer of interest, try to repay that by showing interest in things they dig. I have found that, in the end, if nothing else, a sense of mutual respect can develop from that.
Don't feel like you must hide your passion and write in silence. Let that light shine bright and if the world doesn't come to you, then take it to the world. Sooner or later, the right people will at least respect the passion and the fire in your eyes.
Steven wrote: "Granted, this comment may simply be the outpouring of a man still grieving the loss of his best friend. I am gay, and she was straight. She was over 15 years older than me but her spirit was young ..."Steven, you need to find two groups. A grief support group and a writing group. If you have meetup groups where you live check out the ones for writers. Find a specific group for the gene you write in. Meet the people and see about starting your own smaller support (not a critique group).
Hi Steven,I am sorry about the death of your friend. However, I enjoyed reading your outpouring of information about people that don’s seem to care about our vocational area, namely novel writing. Like many who have responded, I can say that I have experienced similar responses from friends and family. I’ve wondered if my ability to write a three hundred page novel intimidates them. I don’t mean to do that, and my writing is not Nobel Prize level, but it would be nice to hear, “Hey, what’s it about?” “How’s the writing coming along?” Instead, I, too, get a look like I’m a, “Who in the hell is he trying to be?”
I don’t think it matters whether we are gay or heterosexual. I know gay men and we’re friends. But, it doesn’t matter, so I have found, some people are just not interested in what we do. I am married and my wife is extremely supportive. The kids? Well, they hardly asked me how things are going with my writing.
You wrote, “Why bother to talk about it with anyone?” The only answer I have is to continue to comment about your experiences with people like us. Look how many of us have responded to you reaching out to group discussion?
Sorry I took so long to respond. I don’t do it often, but your situation really hit home. I’m glad to know that I know a Goodreads author that expressed himself in a mature way. Thanks, Steven.
Most people have fairly specific tastes with regard to reading matter even when they do read.I would suspect that most of them, when faced with an author, tend to shy away unless he or she happens to write in exactly that same genre.
The second problem the reading public faces is the fear of finding out that their writer friend writes books they find (subjectively, I might add) to be awful, and then become faced with the unpleasant task of either lying and complimenting the book(s) or actually telling their friend that their book(s) are rubbish.
well, I live in a really small tight knit Community and the response that I have been getting is avoidance...they see me coming in the grocery store and many hightail it in the opposite direction. This leaves me feeling odd since I was formerly a well liked citizen usually good for a brief conversation and interaction. So, I ask myself, 'do I talk about the book' too much? I now have a complex about this with family and friends and try to talk about anything but the book. People who I know have purchased the book and read it are silent...leaving me to believe that they didn't like it...then I find out that they haven't got around to reading it yet...my children haven't read it...no time...as an avid reader myself I cannot fathom that a family member would write a book and not be the first in line to buy it, read it and talk it up. It is a very perplexing thing, this authoring adventure...however. there are those who have read it that say that it literally 'saved their lives'...so go figure...people are very interesting beings...are they not??
Susan wrote: "...go figure...people are very interesting beings...are they not??..."Like my mother says, "People are funnier than anybody."
Most of my family and my husband's family have read my only published novel, but my husband hasn't, although it's been out for three years. He's a poor reader (limited educational opportunities) and I have never seen him read fiction. He works hard reading non-fiction in his field of interest, which supports his business. So the fact that he hasn't read my book doesn't really bother me. Some people aren't readers. By the same token, he has never been in the least bit negative about my writing interests, and often asks me to work with him preparing written materials that he needs. He's excellent at pulling the information together that he wants, and I put it into cohesive form for him.
A number of friends have acquired the book and I have had good response from most of them. Others have apologized for either not starting it yet or not having finished it yt, but I'm OK with that, too. I'm no different; I have a number of books by fellow writers that I haven't yet begun, or are half-read. I will get to them, as my friends will get to mine.
I wrote my story with the intention that it should be relaxed-enough reading that a reader is comfortable putting it down and picking it up later. I want the reader to savor it. It isn't a thriller or suspense, so it's not a "compelling" book, after which one has to catch one's breath.
It is too bad that your neighbors have made something of a pariah of you, though. I can see why you might get a complex about it, if you don't know for sure what the reason is. Is there someone in your community you trust will be honest with you, of whom you might ask about this problem?
As a writer and a book coach, many of the authors I work with see the same things. Here's the issue that I see: the people who are closest to you are probably not your ideal reader. I call it your "reader soulmate." That person who really "gets" your topic or story is who you are writing for, not your mom or your best friend. Keep your ideal reader in mind as you write, and seek out people who are attracted to your work and your story. Your readers are out there, waiting for your message. They need to read your work - it's important. Go find them, online or wherever they hang out. Possibly in a group here on Goodreads .
Steven wrote: "Granted, this comment may simply be the outpouring of a man still grieving the loss of his best friend. I am gay, and she was straight. She was over 15 years older than me but her spirit was young ..."Steven, you are definitely not alone. When my first book came out, family and friends were truly supportive and overall the book did well. After that, only a handful of my family and friends read my books. My husband keeps saying they are on his Kindle and he will read them while on an airplane, but... never happens.
Rather than dwell on it, I focus on the people who truly want to read my books. I think if you turn your attention to your readers that you will get gratification. In addition, groups like this forum allow you to share thoughts about writing. Continue to do so.
If you are like most of us, you write because you must; the stories are in you waiting to get out. Let your relationship with your characters sustain you as well.
We're here and supportive.
And when you're sure your family isn't reading your books, you can use them as models for characters!
Carol wrote: "Let your relationship with your characters sustain you as well. ..."Oh! I LIKE this! I am friends with my characters, but this puts it so succinctly. Thank you!
Gary wrote: "And when you're sure your family isn't reading your books, you can use them as models for characters!"Awesome response Gary!
Absolutely Gary! ;) (*evil laugh*)
Actually, I'm hoping to kill off my boss in one of my future books! :O
I've actually started getting a few friends lately saying they can't read my book/s. I think some may have tried (even just on 'look inside' on Amazon), but they are full of filth, and somehow knowing the author of said filth makes them feel a bit odd :-/
Takes all sorts to make a world.
Hope you find lots of good readers soon.
xx
I get these comments too, including suggestions of why can't I just write a sweet romance and not have all the 'smut', because it makes them uncomfortable to know the author. My series is not erotica, but it is steamy. I've told them to skip over the sex and just read the story, explaining that I never murdered anyone either...it's all fiction. Oh well, hopefully my non-family and friend fan base will grow and it will no longer be an issue :)
Sally wrote: "Carol wrote: "Let your relationship with your characters sustain you as well. ..."Oh! I LIKE this! I am friends with my characters, but this puts it so succinctly. Thank you!"
You are so welcome, Sally! It's true!
Gary wrote: "And when you're sure your family isn't reading your books, you can use them as models for characters!"Good one, Gary. I like that!!
Steven wrote: "Granted, this comment may simply be the outpouring of a man still grieving the loss of his best friend. I am gay, and she was straight. She was over 15 years older than me but her spirit was young ..."
Hi,Steven
I am describing tragedies overlooked because they are not something physical and not happening to people living today, on my website :
richardIIIandallill-treated.simplesite.com
You might be interested.Actually,I am experiencing the misunderstanding even in the fact that if you want to promote an issue,people think that you want to promote yourself.Here,right now,I may find myself in the situation of being accused of trying to promote myself,to sell my book(s),while in reality I am only trying to promote the highly important issue of the misinterpreted Shakespeare and Richard,who is confused with the grotesque parody of the calumnies of his enemies.
I am thinking of starting a group of writers who are not promoting themselves,but causes,who do not even want to talk about themselves--the introduce yourself kind of thing--only the issue,t he cause they represent.In fact,Goodreads perhaps could have started a group of this kind.
I know that this is not exactly your problem,Steven,but it has to do with it...An unsupportive environment,and when you try to find understanding souls,you are confused with selfish,greedy folks who just want to sell and sell --like Richard confused with the grotesque parody,only because Shakespeare's misinterpretation serves the interests of power,and the few authors and theatre directors who discovered the truth,struggling in a marginalized situation until they are silenced and ignored.
Hi,Steven
I am describing tragedies overlooked because they are not something physical and not happening to people living today, on my website :
richardIIIandallill-treated.simplesite.com
You might be interested.Actually,I am experiencing the misunderstanding even in the fact that if you want to promote an issue,people think that you want to promote yourself.Here,right now,I may find myself in the situation of being accused of trying to promote myself,to sell my book(s),while in reality I am only trying to promote the highly important issue of the misinterpreted Shakespeare and Richard,who is confused with the grotesque parody of the calumnies of his enemies.
I am thinking of starting a group of writers who are not promoting themselves,but causes,who do not even want to talk about themselves--the introduce yourself kind of thing--only the issue,t he cause they represent.In fact,Goodreads perhaps could have started a group of this kind.
I know that this is not exactly your problem,Steven,but it has to do with it...An unsupportive environment,and when you try to find understanding souls,you are confused with selfish,greedy folks who just want to sell and sell --like Richard confused with the grotesque parody,only because Shakespeare's misinterpretation serves the interests of power,and the few authors and theatre directors who discovered the truth,struggling in a marginalized situation until they are silenced and ignored.
What frustrates me, and probably shouldn't, is the experience of saying anything about my writing to friendly acquaintances, people I chat with out and about. These are mostly gay men, and most are not young but over 40. They ask, "How are you? What have you been up to?" and when I say anything about my books or writing I get one of either two responses: a sort of skeptical look of disinterest followed by a cursory "That's nice", or no verbal response and the feeling (on my part) that he is either bored or just thinks I'm bragging. I have asked myself, "What do you really expect of them? What are you seeking from even saying anything about your writing? An awestruck response as if you are a male Anne Rice? A fleeting moment of mini-stardom or pathetic indulgence in vanity or self-importance?" I sometimes feel this sort of vague cynicism or thinly feigned feeling from them that they consider me rather absurd for bothering with creative pursuits, like they would rather I just talk about some other topic. Instead of their continuing the thread of the casual conversation by asking a question or two ("What is the book about?" "When will it be out?") I run into this wall of disinterest, one great big yawn, LOL.
After experiencing this quite a few times I have decided "Why bother to talk about it with anyone?" It will have to be a lonely pursuit unless I find another great friend who is genuinely interested. Thus I pursue my creative endeavors in a black hole now; the passion is all private. If you have found someone supportive and enthusiastic about your writing you can actually talk to about it, treasure him or her! It seems to be asking too much, so I no longer ask or bother unless that rare person asks me, "So how is your writing going? What are you working on?" The asking of such a question triggers a literal light in my heart and spirit that I can physically feel.
I am quite sure I sound bitter in this topic, but if so I am good at hiding that in person. If I am doing "the important walk" or being egotistical about writing I am not aware of doing so. I don't think I make it sound like I am on the New York Times best seller list, nor do I confront anyone as to their blase responses to any excitement I convey over my creative efforts. Instead I just change gears and talk about something they can relate to or be more interested in. I am resolved to expect nothing of others now as to showing a little interest or curiosity about this aspect of my life; that way I can avoid noticing their seeming lack of interest. Unless I am mistaken, I don't know that I am always interested in hearing about their own pursuits and passions yet I try to listen with interest as I do not think that sharing the same interests is requisite to friendly and civil communication. Does anyone else, straight or gay or in between (I don't mean to imply sexual orientation has an iota to do with this) experience this seeming lack of even moderate support and this sense of isolation?