Book Buying Addicts Anonymous discussion
General
>
Being selective about lending books?
date
newest »
newest »
message 1:
by
Scott
(new)
Apr 01, 2014 02:51PM
I definitely get that feeling of being possessive with them. I came to a decision years ago that if I ever lent someone a book it would be one I didn't mind parting with. In that way, I don't have to worry about getting it back, what condition it will be in when I get it back, etc. I have gone out and bought a new version of something I really thought someone would like so I wouldn't have to lend my own copy. It's one of those things, they become like your family, you don't want to see them hurt or mistreated.
reply
|
flag
I don't lend out anything I wouldn't mind getting destroyed or lost, especially to my mum. She's fine, but her pets eat books (and curtains, furniture, and door frames).
After a disastrous experience with a friend (the book itself wasn't very good, one of the ghost written ones under the name of Robert Ludlum), I decided to establish an easy policy:'I don't lend books to anyone. If the requestor wants it badly, then I prefer to buy him/her a copy'
I just reluctantly loaned two books to my mother-in-law with strict rules in which to look after them and a strict 1 month to return policy. And I will be hounding her for them at the end of the month, don't you worry, folks! ;)
PS. Too bad for her if she hasn't read them by then.
I loaned a book to an acquaintance and it took a year to get it back! It was something I had to order online that you couldn't find around here, so I really wanted it back. After that, I decided not to loan out my books. Not that I really have any friends in town asking. I share books with my kids, but that's different.
I don't like lending my books out accept to my mother. I have heard nightmares of people never getting their stuff back whether it be books, movies, etc. I have had people want to lend me books but I don't want to do that either as then I feel obligated. I would rather buy them a book I know they would love as a gift :)
I very seldom lend my books out to anyone, really the only person I have that I lend them out to a lot is my brother because I know if he misplaces them he quickly buys me new ones to replace it with. I used to lend books but spent a lot of time and money replacing them as well.
Mod
I honestly have a hard time lending out my books. I have a few friends that can be trusted with them because they love reading as much as I do and wouldn't damage them, but other than that no one can borrow them. I made the mistake of lending a books to someone new once and they came back destroyed (water stains, pages pratically falling out and all)!
I'll lend out any book that I don't have too much of an emotional attachment to. If it's rare, signed, a special gift, ect, I wont lend it. I do have a system when I lend out books, though. I put stickers in the books with my name on them and I write down the books that people are borrowing. When people bring the books back, they can borrow more. Can you tell that I used to work at a library?
I like lending out books. I want others to enjoy them as much as I do. I don't mind if the book comes back a bit more used. But for goodness sake, return the bloody book! Some people seem to think that lending actually means keeping.I lent a book to a person I really really like over a month ago now. Its not a big or challenging read. When do you think its ok to ask for it back? I lent a book to someone at my last job, she left the company and never returned it! I miss Sarah's Key :-(
I do not think anyone has to lend a book to another. We have libraries. Its seems to be rather painful to others when they do not get the book back or it is damaged. When I "lend" a book I consider it more of a gift, although my friends and I pass them around. If the book is really sentimental to me I keep it to myself. For instance, I would not lend out a book I had that was signed by the author.
I no longer loan out books that are special to me(favorites or classics), but others I have no attachment to, I loan out with no expectations of getting back. It's the only way I can control my compulsive book buying without clogging my shelves. :-)
I've learned the hard way over the years to never lend a book that I REALLY like. Anymore if I lend a book to anyone I do so with the idea that it will never come back, if by chance it does I'm pleasantly surprised.
I have a hard time parting with books I didn't really like, let alone love. I tend to not loan books to people because of this. I hate broken spines, bend pages, etc. Sometimes I'll purge books I know I'll never read and give them to people. Other than that though I'm kinda of a hoarder when it comes to my books.
I do, on occasion, lend out books. It isn’t an act that comes easily as I am very attached to them. Generally speaking, I haven’t come to regret my actions. Some say that opposites attract. This must be a truism as a vast majority of my friends are confirmed non-readers. I’m not so addicted that I can’t carry on a conversation or discussion without constantly referring to reading, books and libraries. That is one of the main reasons I joined these online groups. Occasionally I discover that some of my online friends and I have other things in common. My advice to the world (no matter how difficult it is to do personally) is spread the wealth…books are the earth and water that supports the forest of knowledge.
I never lend books. Too many issues with getting them back in bad condition. And at least once, didn't get it back at all. One person left my book in the car in the Florida heat and the glue melted and they had to buy me another one. It was really awkward since we were family.Nowadays, the only books I feel OK lending are digital books because they can't be harmed, hurt, lost, or stolen.
I never ever lend books - haven't for years. The reason can be summed up in two words: my sister. My sister never returned the books I loaned to her; never "remembered" she had borrowed them. Sorry, but I've no way of knowing if the next person who wants to borrow a book will have this behavior.
Anne wrote: "I never ever lend books - haven't for years. The reason can be summed up in two words: my sister. My sister never returned the books I loaned to her; never "remembered" she had borrowed them. So..."Some collection apps like Tellico allow you to say someone has borrowed a book and, if I remember correctly, send an email to the person when it's due back.
I don't lend books. If I want to share a book, I buy another copy and give the book away.
I rarely loan out books (or movies for that matter). At present, my dad has borrowed one and my sister has borrowed two -- although one of them I wish she hadn't taken because I have yet to read it. I'm much more likely to loan books out as long as I've read them once but I was a bit iffy about that one. I use my Goodreads shelves to keep track of what I've loaned out or borrowed from others, it's handy :)
I just donate my books when ive read them
Sonya wrote: "I just donate my books when ive read them"Me too. It's the only reason I can't make my own little house of books. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.
For the most part I don't borrow or lend and hope I wont offend. My mom and some of her friends borrow from each other and sign the inside and date it. I would not want that done to my books. My husbands family seems to have a return problem with anything they borrow. So as I said I don't borrow or loan.
Scott wrote: "I definitely get that feeling of being possessive with them. I came to a decision years ago that if I ever lent someone a book it would be one I didn't mind parting with. In that way, I don't have ..."That's exactly how I am. And to be honest, this is the librarian in me, if I can't share the books I love, then I feel like I'm robbing my friends of a wonderful experience.
I don't lend books very often but so far I have not had very good experiences with lending. My first loan was to a cousin when I was 10 or 11. She denied I ever loaned her the book. Fast forward about 20 years and there was my book on her book shelf and my name was still on the flyleaf. The second time I loaned a book it was to someone I worked with. After six months she said to me 'oh, I found your book. Do you want it back? I'll try to remember to bring it tomorrow.'. Considering she hadn't bothered to bring it to work it just seemed easier to tell her to keep it.
I have had bad experiences lending anything to people. I loaned a computer game to a 'friend' when I was a kid and I never saw it again and she denied ever having it. And my sister-in-law helped herself to some of my DVDs, which she intended to borrow without even asking first. Thus, I don't loan things to anyone.
It's kind of telling what type of person she was/is when we're not friends anymore, and haven't been for about 5 years. And it certainly wasn't an amicable split. It's so long since I dumped her as a friend, but when I hear about he etc, hatred pours out of me. Lol.
for the last 4 year's I have been buying e books for my kindle. so few are lending enabled so I can no longer lend. It makes things easier on the lending decisions!
Bj wrote: "for the last 4 year's I have been buying e books for my kindle. so few are lending enabled so I can no longer lend. It makes things easier on the lending decisions!"Doesn't the loaned Kindle book automatically get returned to you after two weeks? If not I guess I need to be more selective.
I also don't like lending books (or videos\dvds). I have been burned too many times when items haven't been returned or returned bent, torn, etc, that it's not worth it.
To lend or not to lend, that is the question. There is no doubt that I love my books. I bought it and read it and put my heart into it. My books have sentimental value. I love books that is why I am willing to share its story. I lend it to people but only to people who I know will be responsible enough to return it. However only 8 out of 10 who borrowed my books were able to return it. I am so pissed off when I was in college because some of my books were not returned. Worse part was when I asked these people whom I thought were responsible enough to return it, they said that they do not have it - that they lend it to somebody else because that somebody claimed that s/he already asked my permission for the book. When I asked that person, they denied having the book. Until now I am still pissed off with these people. Because of what happened I decided to write the names of those who would borrow my books. It is like the system used in the libraries regarding borrowing books.
Domonique wrote: "Kiera wrote: "I have had bad experiences lending anything to people. I loaned a computer game to a 'friend' when I was a kid and I never saw it again and she denied ever having it. And my sister-in..."I hate those who goes and straightly denies it. They should at least look for it just to make sure that they do not have it. They should give some effort looking for it.
The day I buy a book, yes - I'm not lending to anyone. After that it's either that I've already read the book, so I'm just being collecting it, or it's a new book I'm planning to read (someday): in both cases it goes to my bookshelf where I'm not gonna pick it, like, ever again (or rarely at all) so - no, I'm not selective who I'm going to borrow it. It can go to anyone, as long as they're planning (and promise) to return it (in period of 2 years) to me.
It's just stuff anyway, a good stuff, nice to have and nice to look at. That's why I'm collecting anyway: just to look at them (and to reward/pay an author, ofc - that's why I'm selective about bookstores! :D
