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Journals : G-I
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i don't know how to steer
message 101:
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[deleted user]
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Aug 29, 2015 11:16PM
DEATH BY GIF
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“Hey, Lou?” he hums, casual as anything.
“Hm?”
“Wanna hear my poem?”
Oh dear god. Seriously?
Gritting his teeth to keep from laughing or grinning or falling over his own two feet, Louis arches an inquiring eyebrow, turning to meet Harry’s stare. Of course, the bastard is grinning, proud and loud and pleased.
Harry blinks, slow enough that Louis briefly wonders if the planet’s begun to rotate slower, has maybe begun to rotate backwards, even. “It goes, ‘He likes me, too.’”
-velvetoscar, gods & monsters
“Hm?”
“Wanna hear my poem?”
Oh dear god. Seriously?
Gritting his teeth to keep from laughing or grinning or falling over his own two feet, Louis arches an inquiring eyebrow, turning to meet Harry’s stare. Of course, the bastard is grinning, proud and loud and pleased.
Harry blinks, slow enough that Louis briefly wonders if the planet’s begun to rotate slower, has maybe begun to rotate backwards, even. “It goes, ‘He likes me, too.’”
-velvetoscar, gods & monsters
"His impish grin smoothing out, he sets the cool tip of the marker on Harry’s skin, feeling the boy’s eyes on him as he grips his hand gently in his own, words flowing out as neatly as he can write them along Harry’s underarm, stretching to his wrist. The letters look small and scratchy, harsh against pallid flesh.
“To live is the rarest thing. Most people exist, that is all.”
With a definitive lick of the lips, Louis caps the marker, nodding to himself as he watches the ink dry under the streetlamps.
Harry tilts his head to read the words, keeping his arm in Louis’ lap, mumbling them under his breath. When he finishes, he looks up, eyes thoughtful and a little far away. “What’s that from?”
“I’m not sure,” Louis admits, blinking down at the dark cut of the words against Harry’s unmarked skin. “I just remember hearing it at a very young age and it always stuck with me.” Shrug. “Made sense to me.”
Nodding, Harry hums, looking back down at the words and reading them again and again, whispering them in a breath and blinking in the spaces.
“I know the feeling,” he mumbles after a moment, still inspecting the sentence with quiet eyes.
Louis stares at him, an unexpected lift in his heart.
And then suddenly he’s grabbing Louis’ arm and pulling it into his lap, a small smile spreading.
“What are you—“ Louis starts, watching as Harry rolls up the sleeve of his jacket.
He looks up, grins mischievously. “Your turn,” is all he says, and it’s enough for Louis to half-smile, letting Harry continue.
“Of course it is,” he grumbles, but he makes no protest as he feels the cold, icy drag of marker on his arm, leaving the slightest tickling sensation that Louis refuses to laugh over. Even if it does make him squirm a bit.
“Hold still,” Harry laughs, resting a warm palm on his arm as he pauses in his ministrations.
“I am perfectly still, thank you. A regular slab of marble, I am,” Louis sniffs, turning away, and he hears and feels Harry’s exhale of amusement against his arm.
At long last, Harry releases him, pleased as pie.
“Ta-daaa!” he sings, arms raised momentously as he looks for Louis’ reaction.
With pursed lips and narrowed eyes—“I expect very little from you, just so you know, Styles”—Louis leans over, eyes flitting over the neat scrawl on his skin.
He blinks, feeling a small and almost unrecognizable pang of affection.
“The boy who lived” it reads."
-velvetoscar, gods & monsters
“To live is the rarest thing. Most people exist, that is all.”
With a definitive lick of the lips, Louis caps the marker, nodding to himself as he watches the ink dry under the streetlamps.
Harry tilts his head to read the words, keeping his arm in Louis’ lap, mumbling them under his breath. When he finishes, he looks up, eyes thoughtful and a little far away. “What’s that from?”
“I’m not sure,” Louis admits, blinking down at the dark cut of the words against Harry’s unmarked skin. “I just remember hearing it at a very young age and it always stuck with me.” Shrug. “Made sense to me.”
Nodding, Harry hums, looking back down at the words and reading them again and again, whispering them in a breath and blinking in the spaces.
“I know the feeling,” he mumbles after a moment, still inspecting the sentence with quiet eyes.
Louis stares at him, an unexpected lift in his heart.
And then suddenly he’s grabbing Louis’ arm and pulling it into his lap, a small smile spreading.
“What are you—“ Louis starts, watching as Harry rolls up the sleeve of his jacket.
He looks up, grins mischievously. “Your turn,” is all he says, and it’s enough for Louis to half-smile, letting Harry continue.
“Of course it is,” he grumbles, but he makes no protest as he feels the cold, icy drag of marker on his arm, leaving the slightest tickling sensation that Louis refuses to laugh over. Even if it does make him squirm a bit.
“Hold still,” Harry laughs, resting a warm palm on his arm as he pauses in his ministrations.
“I am perfectly still, thank you. A regular slab of marble, I am,” Louis sniffs, turning away, and he hears and feels Harry’s exhale of amusement against his arm.
At long last, Harry releases him, pleased as pie.
“Ta-daaa!” he sings, arms raised momentously as he looks for Louis’ reaction.
With pursed lips and narrowed eyes—“I expect very little from you, just so you know, Styles”—Louis leans over, eyes flitting over the neat scrawl on his skin.
He blinks, feeling a small and almost unrecognizable pang of affection.
“The boy who lived” it reads."
-velvetoscar, gods & monsters
"He doesn’t say anything though, the silence between them unspoken and calm. Instead, he takes Louis’ hand from the back of the bench, cradling it in his lap. With a secret sort of smile, he opens up his hand, palm up, delicately smoothing out Louis’ bent fingers, one at a time. He never lifts his gaze, never glances up, just smiles to himself as he focuses on the task at hand, all the while as Louis watches with a tiny burp in his heart, refusing to blink. His eyes are nearly watering with the effort, but he doesn’t give a fuck. He’s mesmerized by Harry in this moment, mesmerized by the feel of cold fingers setting his own aflame. Insane. Everything about Harry is insane, makes the world insane.
And then Harry brings the Sharpie down upon the cushion of Louis’ palm and begins drawing, sending sharp, cold tickles up Louis’ arm, sharper than before. He will not giggle—he’s not actually fucking ticklish, FYI—so instead he bites down on his lip as he squirms just a fraction this time; he doesn’t get reprimanded again, but he also doesn’t miss the way Harry’s smile twitches.
At long fucking last (Louis nearly bit through his lip to keep from squawking at one point), Harry releases his hand and looks up, eyes anything but hesitant as he motions to his work.
Merely arching a brow, Louis raises his palm to his face, squints in the dark at the long, sloping letters.
“HARRY” it says. That’s all.
When he looks back to Harry, the boy tilts his head, giggly and loose and silly and soft, rubbing his cheek on his shoulder and staring back at Louis with those damn eyes. “Because you’ve got me in the palm of your hand,” he explains, as if he’s the cleverest thing in the world, and that, coupled with what he’s fucking implying, makes Louis feel something startling rush up inside of himself."
—Velvetoscar, Gods & Monsters
And then Harry brings the Sharpie down upon the cushion of Louis’ palm and begins drawing, sending sharp, cold tickles up Louis’ arm, sharper than before. He will not giggle—he’s not actually fucking ticklish, FYI—so instead he bites down on his lip as he squirms just a fraction this time; he doesn’t get reprimanded again, but he also doesn’t miss the way Harry’s smile twitches.
At long fucking last (Louis nearly bit through his lip to keep from squawking at one point), Harry releases his hand and looks up, eyes anything but hesitant as he motions to his work.
Merely arching a brow, Louis raises his palm to his face, squints in the dark at the long, sloping letters.
“HARRY” it says. That’s all.
When he looks back to Harry, the boy tilts his head, giggly and loose and silly and soft, rubbing his cheek on his shoulder and staring back at Louis with those damn eyes. “Because you’ve got me in the palm of your hand,” he explains, as if he’s the cleverest thing in the world, and that, coupled with what he’s fucking implying, makes Louis feel something startling rush up inside of himself."
—Velvetoscar, Gods & Monsters
"i need more kindness than i deserve." -franz kafka
"the clouds have rolled in
and all i can think to want
is you in this bed."
—tyler knott gregson
and all i can think to want
is you in this bed."
—tyler knott gregson
"if you had stars inside your brain cells you'd probably understand what im talking about." —ernest hemingway
"there is nothing prettier than a city at 5 am, with its empty streets and cold wind." —unknown
"in my head theres a warrior,
and its a war to feel whole
and its a fear to feel at all.."
—chelsea wolfe
and its a war to feel whole
and its a fear to feel at all.."
—chelsea wolfe
"dont choose the one that is beautiful to the world, rather, choose the one that makes your world beautiful." —harry styles
"there is darkness in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights." —bram stoker
“You have a way of making me feel better about things,” he says quietly, mouth mussed by the sleeve of Harry’s jumper, where his arm is pressed against his chin. “It’s weird and I don’t understand it. But you have a way.”
He feels Harry’s grin. “It’s because we’re purple,” he says quietly, a smile in his tone. “Purple is obviously the best color, you know. And, like, you can’t make it without red and blue, right? So I’m blue and you’re red and you need me to become purple. Just like I need you. To become better.” And Louis actually feels the pride bowing in his lips.
He feels Harry’s grin. “It’s because we’re purple,” he says quietly, a smile in his tone. “Purple is obviously the best color, you know. And, like, you can’t make it without red and blue, right? So I’m blue and you’re red and you need me to become purple. Just like I need you. To become better.” And Louis actually feels the pride bowing in his lips.
pain #4: as i might miss him..
why do i always feel so sad and subdued and cold all the time?
thinking's overrated. i just want to lay down.
Everyone go listen to Troye's new album it's pretty WILD ;)))
What did the teenage moon say to the mom moon? IT'S NOT JUST A PHASE
"Let us avoid weeping so as not to be consoled." - Anne Carson
So he turns around. He walks away. He leaves.
Well, sorta.
In reality, the only part of him that remains is still sitting in that hall. Funny, that. Funny. All that’s really left of Louis, this Louis, are the clothes on his back.
So a ghost walks home in Louis’ shoes.
-velvetoscar, Gods & Monsters
Well, sorta.
In reality, the only part of him that remains is still sitting in that hall. Funny, that. Funny. All that’s really left of Louis, this Louis, are the clothes on his back.
So a ghost walks home in Louis’ shoes.
-velvetoscar, Gods & Monsters
"one day id like to meet your mouth"
Stars stuck all over, bright stupid confetti.
Eternity bores me,
I never wanted it.
- Sylvia Plath, Years
Eternity bores me,
I never wanted it.
- Sylvia Plath, Years
"I'm sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine." -Richard Siken
" I know, and you, too, know that all I need is for the impossible to be. The impossible! I’ve searched for it at the confines of the world, in the secret places of my heart. I’ve stretched out my hands; see, I stretch out my hands, but it’s always you I find, you only."
—Albert Camus, Caligula
—Albert Camus, Caligula
this is my absolute favorite picture. hes so proud of who he is and it makes me feel happy :)
“Even when I’m dead, I’ll swim through the Earth like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bones.”
—Jeffrey McDaniel
—Jeffrey McDaniel
“I will come back from the dead for you.”
—Richard Siken
—Richard Siken
"Of course, there’s still Harry, but when you miss someone every second of the day, when it comes as steady as breathing, you learn to live with it. And Louis does. It’s not something that keeps him from his life. Instead it follows him everywhere, every stage he walks across, every hallway of the school, every inch of his flat, every night in the pub and run to Tesco's. It rides along in the passenger seat of his car and waits for him in the bath. It’s an ache and a shadow and it’s his, and he lives with it now. Sometimes it’s almost enough to make him feel like he’s not alone in his bed."
—TIF
—TIF
"I am the love that dare not speak its name." -Lord Alfred Douglas
"Louis pulls back, feeling boneless and dizzy from having Harry so close and so vulnerable. "Wanna know what I missed the most?"
"Sure," Harry tells him.
He brings one of Harry's hands up to his mouth, holding it open with both of his own. He presses a kiss to his palm, and then one of each of his fingertips, before turning it over and kissing each of his knuckles in turn.
"I missed your hands," he says as he does this. "I missed your fingers. I missed your wrists."
"That's more than one thing," Harry says softly.
"I missed your smart mouth," Louis says, leaning up to kiss that too. He kisses Harry on the tip of his nose, on the underside of his chin, on the lids of his eyes. "I missed this. And this. And this."
—TIF
"Sure," Harry tells him.
He brings one of Harry's hands up to his mouth, holding it open with both of his own. He presses a kiss to his palm, and then one of each of his fingertips, before turning it over and kissing each of his knuckles in turn.
"I missed your hands," he says as he does this. "I missed your fingers. I missed your wrists."
"That's more than one thing," Harry says softly.
"I missed your smart mouth," Louis says, leaning up to kiss that too. He kisses Harry on the tip of his nose, on the underside of his chin, on the lids of his eyes. "I missed this. And this. And this."
—TIF
"Louis thinks suddenly of the first time he set foot inside Harry’s flat in Manchester, the feeling he had that he was standing inside Harry’s brain. Here, bathed in dark red light, he thinks he might be inside Harry’s heart."
—TIF
—TIF
Just. Look at this.
I love Harry Styles so SO much, more than any words could explain. HE DID THIS AFTER ALL THAT SHIT WITH ATTITUDE. HE IS SO VERY PROUD OF WHO HE IS AND HE IS NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT.
HE //KNEW// THAT HIS FANS WERE HURTING AND HE REASSURED US, HE MADE SURE WE KNEW THAT HE LOVES US AND SUPORTS US.
THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. HARRY MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. HE MAKES ME FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AND LESS ALONE.
Thank you, Harry Styles. I love you so so much.
i knew a simple soldier boy
who grinned at life in empty joy
slept soundly in the lonesome dark
and whistled early with the lark
in winter trenches, cowed and glum
with crumps and lice and lack of rum
he put a bullet through his brain
no one spoke of him again
you smug faced crowds, with kindling eye
who cheer when soldier lads march by
sneak home and pray youll never know
the hell where youth and laughter go
who grinned at life in empty joy
slept soundly in the lonesome dark
and whistled early with the lark
in winter trenches, cowed and glum
with crumps and lice and lack of rum
he put a bullet through his brain
no one spoke of him again
you smug faced crowds, with kindling eye
who cheer when soldier lads march by
sneak home and pray youll never know
the hell where youth and laughter go
what a beautiful day for blocking people
things that bring me stress: one direction
things that bring me joy: one direction
do u see my dilemma
things that bring me joy: one direction
do u see my dilemma
"Amor, ch'al cor gentil ratto s'apprende,
prese costui de la bella persona
che mi fu tolta; e 'l modo ancor m'offende.
Amor, ch’a nullo amato amar perdona,
mi prese del costui piacer sì forte,
che, come vedi, ancor non m’abbandona."
—Dante Alighieri
prese costui de la bella persona
che mi fu tolta; e 'l modo ancor m'offende.
Amor, ch’a nullo amato amar perdona,
mi prese del costui piacer sì forte,
che, come vedi, ancor non m’abbandona."
—Dante Alighieri
“Like a snake, my heart has shed its skin / I hold it here in my hand / full of honey and wounds."
"There were some buildings... There were these really tall buildings, and they could walk. Then there were some vampires. And one of the vampires bit the tallest building, and his fangs broke off. Then all his other teeth fell out. Then he started crying. And then, all the other vampires said, "Why are you crying? Weren't those just your baby teeth?" And he said, "No. Those were my grown-up teeth." And the vampires knew he couldn't be a vampire anymore, so they left him. The end."
"you dangle on the leash.
of your own longing;
your need grows teeth."
— Speeches for Dr. Frankenstein, Margaret Atwood
of your own longing;
your need grows teeth."
— Speeches for Dr. Frankenstein, Margaret Atwood
i like talking to myself on here because then i dont have to get into fights w/ people that are annoying
"
Every act of love or desire is an act of murder.
"
— Anaïs Nin
Every act of love or desire is an act of murder.
"
— Anaïs Nin
"And also, you didn’t ask. And also, I’m glad you didn’t ask."
— Charles Bukowski
— Charles Bukowski
"the world's a stage but the play is badly cast." -oscar wilde
“Men are so easy to manipulate,” Louis huffs, actually stretching out her arms this time. Harry watches in awe. “Insult their masculinity once and they’ll do anything to prove it’s still intact. Male mediocrity at its finest.” —the mighty fall
have truer words been spoken
have truer words been spoken
“we were kids who accidentally glued our fingers together except I seemed to have glued my heart to his” -harry styles
*ross voice* its fine im FINE
*ross voice* its fine im FINE
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
I'll Give You the Sun (other topics)I'll Give You the Sun (other topics)
I'll Give You the Sun (other topics)
