What do you think I could/should read? Complicated

[Leah]

Hi community,

At first, I didn't feel brave enough to share some of my life with you guys, but it's become obvious that I need some new like-minded buddies, and some guidance.

I recently learned that I most likely suffer from depression on top of my General Anxiety Disorder. At first, I wanted to add in some details but I think I might be over-sharing already.

Anyway, I'm looking for uplifting books to read whose characters will not bring me to tears/whose content isn't upsetting. I'm open to pretty much any genre, including erotica (Yes, I'm over 21.)
I like detective/spy stories a lot, but I have blacklisted Stephen King's works permanently. I have enough trouble getting to sleep at night as it is.
I mostly read non-fiction, but it's a dangerous genre for someone who is somewhat depressed. Books by Malcolm Gladwell (a.k.a. push harder and you can do it) are on my blacklist for that reason.

Case in point: I feel fairly upset after having read the first few chapters of Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. The first chapter basically recounts my childhood (I was badly bullied) and my own attempts at lying to be more interesting, while the following chapters are just horrible for me to read. I'll never understand why people drive drunk.

The Recruit is one of my favorite books, even though the vocabulary is a bit complicated for me as I'm not a native English speaker. Vampire Academy was also nice, but the main character was slightly too love-struck for my taste. The Hunger Games was bearable, until it took the same wrong turn (too much "oh, my love, I'm going to save you--No, don't, fight for yourself!")


I considered reading Harlequin, but I feel like throwing up little heart-shaped candies after the first few pages. Urgh. Just urgh.

So, if you know of a book that ends well but that isn't overly lovey-dovey and that contains at least some action, please suggest a few titles.

[Janice, Moderator]

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles, Leah.

First of all, I will recommend The Anxiety and Panic Internet Resource (TaPir). I spent many sleepless nights on this website talking with other people going through the same thing.

As for novels, if you want a little mystery and a lot of sexy hot vampire erotica, try the Black Dagger Brotherhood series starting with Dark Lover. It's pure escapism.

Maybe a cozy mystery series might be a good choice. There's Amelia Peabody series starting with Crocodile on the Sandbank.

Maybe others will have some recommendations for you.

[Jkmays]

How about A. J. Jacobs books...they are nonfiction, humorous. I have listened to two of his on audio and have more on my TBR list.

Good luck to you

[Almeta]

Once again, I find I am recommending The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. Mostly non-violent mysterious problems to be solved by a charming lady and occasionally her friends in Botswana, a country that you can tell she dearly loves. (view spoiler)[ er, that Alexander McCall Smith dearly loves! (hide spoiler)]

[Michelle T.]

Janice wrote: "I'm sorry to hear of your struggles, Leah.

First of all, I will recommend The Anxiety and Panic Internet Resource (TaPir). I spent many sleepless nights on this website talking with other peop..."

Hi Leah and Janice,
I have been suffering from depression since my son was born. What started as a postpartum depression over the years and with my disease it has got worse, so I understand the feeling of not wanting to read anything depressing (I don't even watch the news), but there have been some books that believe it or not has help me, because of the strong content in the book, and at the end you always feel like you learn something. One of the books I really like is the "Key Trilogy" by Nora Roberts and In the Garden Trilogy by Nora Roberts to staring with the "Blue Dahlia #1".

Janice, once again I learned something new thanks to you, I already marked the website as my favorites. :)

[Cherie]

Almeta wrote: "Once again, I find I am recommending The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. Mostly non-violent mysterious problems to be solved by a charming lady and occasionally her friends in B..."

I agree with Almeta here!

[LRM]

Hi! Here is a site that might interest you. I have found it helpful. http://www.therapythroughtolstoy.com/...
Scroll down for a list of books.

This girl also has a book (ebook??)

[Travis]

I lived most my life unknowingly with mainly anxiety but slight depression. Shortness of breath and chest pain sent me to er thinking I was having a heart attack only to find my breathing is due to COPD and the chest pain was in part due to breathing but mainly anxiety. I too can't watch the depressing news anymore . Anyway not sure we share the same tastes in books. The Iron Druid series starting with Hounded are pretty entertaining, light urban fantasy type reads. No worries you are certainly not alone many of us have similar issues, but with a little practice it is possible to live a normal life.

[[deleted user]]

Leah, you have my sympathy too. I suffered depression after my father died. It's a difficult thing to share, but, as you can see here, you'll find support once you do. It can feel terribly isolating, but you aren't alone.

In my case I retreated to a nice safe, cosy place. In real life that was my bed, in literature that was detective fiction and romance. My reads were the Cadfael series of novels by Ellis Peters (starts with A Morbid Taste for Bones. The Peter Wimsey books by Dorothy L. Sayers, Strong Poison and Murder Must Advertise being good places to start (imo. And the Sister Fidelma books by Peter Tremayne, starting with Absolution by Murder.

On the romance front, I resorted to Amanda Quick. She writes romances that at least tend to have spunky heroines. Not too candy sweet, but I still think of them as being candyfloss reads.

if you do want to stick to the non-fiction, might it be worth trying some of the popular science or theme driven history books? I'm thinking that they are usually engaging stories, but don't involve great sweeps of emotion (which can be upsetting). A couple of examples might be The Map That Changed the World: William Smith and the Birth of Modern Geology (or any Simon Winchester, really), Map Of A Nation, The Riddle and the Knight: In Search of Sir John Mandeville, the World's Greatest Traveler (and again, any Giles Milton). That might feed your non-fiction preference, but not cut too close to home.

Let us know how you're doing, what works for you, what doesn't and we can suggest more for you to try.

[Nancy from NJ]

Almeta wrote: "Once again, I find I am recommending The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. Mostly non-violent mysterious problems to be solved by a charming lady and occasionally her friends in B..."

I second this series. Light hearted and Mme Romatswe is one if the best characters I've read in a long time.

[Leah]

Thank you very much for your suggestions!
I think I will try them one by one if I have access to the books of course.
I'm currently re-reading The Recruit (for the third time? I stopped counting) and it truly is a great book but I'll also start reading one of the books you recommended (probably the first on the list).

I'm currently on benzos so I'm taking this opportunity to explore new things and also tidy up my room which had become much too cluttered (I kept telling myself I'd take care of the pile of coursework leaflets and assignments once I got calmer... but I just kept getting more worked up.

[Rusalka, Moderator]

Hi Leah,

Agree with most of the comments above. As others have said, you're not alone and definitely in most ways more normal than you think. Me, I am pretty certain (psych degree diagnosis, best way :P) I have anxiety of some shape or form. Panic attacks are pretty common in certain situations for me. I'm working through it, but it's a long process. Which I know you understand, but know it's not just you :)

I have two suggestions to through in for you. If you like urban fantasy with a splash of romance, try the Alex Craft series starting with Grave Witch. I found them very fun.

If you'd like to ease yourself into non-fiction, try some of Bill Bryson's books. I'd maybe suggest one of his travel books. I have never laughed so much while reading a book until I read him. He used to make a friend of mine hyperventilate from laughing so much too. Mind you, he hyperventilated from laughter in Shrek too... not an uncommon occurrence. But anyways, he's informative and funny. Might be a good entry point for you?

[Casceil]

Leah, I can relate. For years I avoided depressing books, and I am still careful what I read. One author I particularly like is Sarah Addison Allen. Her first book is Garden Spells, and I found it very uplifting. If tidying up gets overwhelming, try breaking the job down into small pieces, and whittling away at it over time.

[Marnie]

Sending good thoughts your way Leah.
I agree that a cozy mystery might be fun and stress free. They seem to have those in a lot of categories so if you are a foodie Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder might work or a history buff Mr. Churchill's Secretary.
Or maybe a fantasy- I loved A Discovery of Witches ( but that did get mixed reviews ).
Another idea might be to try an audio book. Maybe a comedienne like Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys. With an audio book you can listen to it while you do something else like go for a walk - which will help with endorphins too.
Take care of yourself.

[Leah]

Again, thank you! I listened to the beginning of Dark Lover and didn't like it so I'm working through the lists of the suggestions you all gave me. I think I might have more success with mysteries.

[Travis]

What area of nonfiction interests you? If you narrow the field a bit I'm sure we could find something non fiction to suit you as well.

[Leah]

I used to be interested in "motivational" non fiction, but since it partly got me into the mess I'm in right now, I'd rather avoid that sub-genre.
I tried Bad Science by Ben Goldacre, but had to stop reading it because he was badmouthing the SSRI antidepressant I'm taking. Actually I've been feeling worse ever since I listened to that part of his book.

I also had Bad Pharma on my to-read list but after the Bad Science fiasco I think I'll steer clear of other books written by "doctors".

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything was okay, just not ground-breaking. At least it wasn't particularly upsetting. SuperFreakonomics: Global Cooling, Patriotic Prostitutes And Why Suicide Bombers Should Buy Life Insurance is on my to-read list. I'm not done reading Freakonomics. I find plowing through the anecdotes at the end of the book very tedious.

Maybe I just need a good fiction book right now?

[Laura]

Hi Leah - so many of us have been there, you are certainly not alone. I agree with others who've suggested The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. Kindness and wisdom know no cultural boundaries, and so even if you're unfamiliar with Africa, you may be surprised how quickly it starts to feel like home, as the characters recur and the sense of community is felt.

Another series I highly recommend is the Father Tim series, starting with At Home in Mitford. The audio for that series is also particularly good. The main character is an Episcopal priest. He is in his early 60s and a bachelor as the story begins. The small town in NC where he lives comes alive with a bunch of quirky villagers and at times you will laugh and sometime be moved by their different adventures. Heartwarming and uplifting, I think you might really enjoy it.

Another author I've heard so much about for humorous, speculative fiction is Jasper Fforde. I don't think you can go wrong with any of his stuff.

Something else I'd like to suggest to you because I never thought it could have anything to do with the anxiety I was experiencing is your diet. My doctor immediately suggested I try going gluten free (gluten is in wheat, barley, rye and sometimes oats). Within two days, I started to see a difference in some symptoms. The anxiety started to dissipate after two weeks. Others find dairy causes anxiety and/or depression. It may be worth a try for a couple of weeks, just to see if you notice improvement. Insomnia used to be a problem for me also before going off gluten. The 300 symptoms of gluten intolerance are here: http://glutenfreeworks.com/gluten-dis...

I never thought food could affect me mentally or emotionally until I learned that we have a second nervous system in our gut. So if a food doesn't agree with you, it can affect all of the systems of the body. Something to think about, perhaps.

I'll try and think about some nonfiction books you may also enjoy. I need to chew on that one awhile.

Best to you, and let feel free to PM me also.

[Snoozie Suzie]

Hey fellow sufferers!
I really enjoyed War Horse, and found it a very engrossing book. I too am not a Stephen King etc fan, but I'm not ruling out some if his works like The Green Mile, and 11/22/63. I'd also definitely recommend Yellow Crocus.
I hope you find something to read that soothes your mind and that you enjoy.

[Leah]

Wow, thank you, really!
I was feeling low after having some things dropped on me again and your messages managed to cheer me up, at least enough for me to get up and look at some books!

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency seems like a good fit for me, so I'll start reading this book as soon as possible. I'll also take a look at some other books you suggested as soon as possible.

I'm currently finishing The Recruit as fast as possible. The first half of the book is excellent but I remember not liking the second part so much.

As for gluten and dairy, well... I know I'm intolerant to dairy products and I also know I'm not intolerant to gluten. Some doctors ran a host of tests on my body after I had been complaining of stomach pain for months.
They looked at dairy and gluten at a last resort.
I had to go through a gastroscopy (under general anesthetics thankfully) which was an utter nightmare for someone who is terrified of anything medical. However, at least I finally know that I don't have an ulcer.

Anyway, I'm going to look at some books and report back if I find something I think I can read.

[Sarah]

Hi Leah, with regards to non-fiction you could try something like Does Anything Eat Wasps? which is one of many books written by New Scientist. It has loads of random and strange questions posed by readers (I presume) and factually answered by Scientists. These books are quite light hearted and interesting.

Fiction wise, I think The Night Circus might be a safe bet and is one of my all time favourites. Very magical.

[Lisa]

Sarah wrote: "Hi Leah, with regards to non-fiction you could try something like Does Anything Eat Wasps? which is one of many books written by New Scientist. It has loads of random and strange que..."

I second Sarah's suggestion of The Night Circus. It is beautifully written and is a book that you can really escape into.

[Nancy from NJ]

Laura wrote: "Hi Leah - so many of us have been there, you are certainly not alone. I agree with others who've suggested The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. Kindness and wisdom know no cu..."

Another recommendation I have in addition to food is to exercise. it could be as easy as walking around the block at the beginning or working up to a charity or other inspired walk. I know this increased my endorphins greatly in addition to helping me to lose weight.

[Debra]

I also struggle with severe depression and bi-polar disorder, so I understand a bit of what you are going through, hon.

I like a lot of the suggestions given here for books to read. For some reason I keep thinking The Secret Life of Bees would be a good addition to your list. It's a uplifting story. I should have dozens for you, but can't think of any more right now. Will think on this some more!

Hugs!

[Leah]

Thank you so much guys! I've started re-reading Class A by Robert Muchamore but I didn't remember how violent the series is, so I'll probably switch to a calmer book. The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency sounds really cool!
I also asked Santa for a puzzle, as I did 750-piece and 500-piece puzzles in the past and found them to be soothing.

Sadly I am not allowed to exercise at the moment as I exercised too much last year (in order not to take benzos but that was a bad idea).
I ended up badly spraining my knee in May so I have to be careful from now on as my knee is still somewhat painful.

Anyway, I'll look for books tonight and Happy Christmas Eve everyone... and above all, thank you!

[Laura]

Puzzles are great, that is a great idea, and maybe just put on some music that is good for you too. Or listen to an audiobook, if you enjoy that.