I hate streaming pee...

[Reads with Scotch]

I hate when I piss on the seat. Even when I put the seat up I tend to magically spray the seat. Through a series of intense observation I have gleaned that my urine tends to split, or flow at in physically impossible angle in relation to the “watering hose”. Not all the time mind you just at random. Making it virtually impossible to predict where the stream will go. Thus earning my hatred, for all the berating I am subjected to.

[Sarah]

Thanks, Nick, for sharing that.

I hate cleaning the toilets in the house, because no man alive can aim or make up for the splash problem.

[Reads with Scotch]

I think some innovations are required. If I am not the only guy with "fire, aim, and control" issues I think some modifications are required, why do we continue to torment ourselves with wet toilet seats? It just doesn't seem practical. Additionally it is not fair to us because we get blamed for careless spraying... Not nice.

[Sarah]

Homes should come equipped with urinals. My husband explained the splash factor when we first got married and it makes so much sense. But he still has to clean the toilets.

[Reads with Scotch]

The big problem with urinals is this... They stink, and no amount of cleaning will fix it... the ammonia content in urine is to high to dry on a surface without stinking the place up... ever smell a men public restroom... bring on the perfume.

[Reads with Scotch]

Thanks, but see the first post, somtimes it just shoots off all willy nilly, Then I'm swinging all over the place trying to get the most into the pot, or atlest off my wifes "guest" towels.

[Charissa]

and now I'm so sorry I wandered into this thread. I knew there was something I just didn't miss about being single. Oy.

[[deleted user]]

Mmmmhmmmm, I work with 5 guys! Five guys and me...that's it. I tell them the upstairs bathroom is the boy's bathroom and the downstairs bathroom is the girl bathroom! This means:

1) The seat stays DOWN!
2) Any splashing and/or missing is YOUR'S to clean!
3) Run the fan!

[[deleted user]]

Jesus.

Sit on the toilet if you can't keep it in the bowl.

[Jason]

An issue I don't hear brought up very often is circumcised or not. The extra skin acts as a sock over the hose, if you will, and makes the directional flow quite...unpredictable. Pull the skin back, of course, for proper aiming, but then you have to hold it just right. If your mind wanders...

I shall follow you Tracy. I think it's Taco Bell, what's your guess?

[Rob]

I wish I could stream, at least when others are around. I hate being pee shy!! I never met a chick with that problem.

I hate the way men's rooms are set up. Peeing is personal-- I can't just waltz up to a stinking, piss-stained porcelain egg peppered with pubes and let it rip with everyone standing around me. Not even when my bladder is splitting at the seams. As soon as I'm conscious of someone else, the piss clamp goes on and the well is suddenly dry. So I stand there pretending and read the message printed on the little rubber stopper-- I can't believe how many of those have anti-drug propaganda on them. Nothing like faking your pee. And that save-face flush. I hate it!!

It's even worse when there's just a trough in the middle of the room that everyone pisses into. What IS that? So low-rent.

And I HATE when anyone-- ESPECIALLY a coworker-- stands next to me and chats away while I'm trying...IN VAIN....to pee!! Hello? Privacy please!! Sorry, something about holding my limp dick makes me antisocial. WTF?! Talk about a flow kill!

And I really hate those fuckers who talk on their cell phone at the urinal. Like they're THAT busy. Fuck OFF. They're the same ones who never wash their hands.

I TOTALLY hate guys who ignore urinal etiquette. Listen, mister, you ALWAYS leave a space between you and the next guy. Unless, of course, it's impossible. Two pissers, tough break. Three, then take an end and leave the middle open for a third-- who hopefully won't show. More than three, then you keep every other pisser open. It's not hard.

Ugh, now I'm so riled up, I have to pee. But I'm doing it in the privacy of my own home, thank you.

[shellyindallas]

Nick- I'm not sure about clicking and pasting, so I'm just gonna copy this article I read the other day for your pleasure:

A Kaiapoi man punched a man twice in the toilet of a central Christchurch bar because he committed "a breach of urinal etiquette'', a court was told yesterday.

Edward Trevor Aldridge, 47, pleaded guilty in Christchurch District Court to assault and Judge Raoul Neave told him: "This sort of behaviour would be immature in teenagers or small children. This is exactly the sort of behaviour that makes people afraid to go to town.''

Police prosecutor Sergeant Graham Butcher said the victim went gone to the Rock Pool bar with friends on December 16.

When he went to the toilet, he used a urinal next to Aldridge who accused him of looking at him and punched him twice in the face.

Defence counsel Liz Bulger told the court: ``This incident arose from a breach of what I understand to be urinal etiquette.

"When (the victim) spoke to the defendant he was effectively smirking. The defendant was outraged.''

She said Aldridge was a beneficiary who could not afford to pay anything to the victim for emotional harm.

Judge Neave sentenced him to 50 hours of community work, added to a 300-hour sentence he is already doing. - NZPA

I'm pretty sure this happened in New Zealand (hence the NZ in NZPA) so I don't know what kind of punishment would fit the crime in the US.

[RandomAnthony]

When you sit and pee you can read too. It's a plus.

[Reads with Scotch]

I don't think there would be a punishment, potty etiquette, is a serious thing in this country. Not just from a social perspective, but also as a hygiene issue. Do you want someone else’s urine splatter on your shoes? Or even worse if there isn't a divider your hand ewww... yep beat down time.

[Sarah]

Rob, I have a shy bladder too. Even in stalls that are all enclosed and everything, I have trouble peeing in public restrooms (see my post in the "I hate Air Hand Dryers"). And as far as #2 goes, fugeddaboutit. Only in my own home. Makes traveling very uncomfortable.

My parents have a friend who makes male guests in her home sit on the toilet to pee. Her husband apparently is so used to it that he sits everywhere now.

[Rob]

Not that I relish anyone's pain (cough, SARAH, cough)...but I am so glad to FINALLY know shyness is not confined to males.

Someone told me to try closing my eyes, taking deep breaths, and thinking of my first kiss. Well, that didn't work...people thought I was doing something else (maybe I should have refrained from biting my lower lip).

A punishment for breaching urinal etiquette? Force the bastard to wear a scarlet urinal cake!

[Reads with Scotch]

yeah, but who would want to hand it to him, wait.
"You brought this on yourself, Now reach in there and grab your punnishment with both hands... and LOVE IT!"

[Lori]

Sarah, I thought I was the only woman on the face of the planet who simply REFUSES to #2 anyplace but my own home. It's a pretty natural thing for me.... Since i was at a very young age. If im out visiting someplace for a few days, all I have to say is.. When I get home, and walk thru that door, the bathroom better be empty!!! If im out and about there is never the urge. my body doesnt even ENTERTAIN the idea....

As far as being bladder shy, well, i got that one too. I never understood the whole 'chicks going to the bathroom in groups' unless its just to bullshit and touch up the makeup.. But if i gotta go, im going alone. And dont you dare fucking try to make conversation with me, cause I freeze up midstream and gotta wait till the room is empty before I can let it loose again. I also tend to time my pissing with someone elses flush, dont ask me why! Sound control, i guess...

Rob,as far as the set up in the Mens Bathroom... How the hell did you guys let it get like that? WHoever came up with the idea of pissing next to each other in an open room was a homosexual. Im sorry. If that was the way it went down in the Ladies room, I'll tell ya right now, we would have gone on a pissing strike! Boycott the public restrooms... Or... being the smart and sassy ladies we are, in an absolute pissing emergency, we would have at least guarded the restroom, and only allowed one woman in at a time!! Hell no to peeing side by side like that. Why dont you just slap a stall with a door around each urninal and be done with it already? I just cant see why you men let it go down like that! When the orignal proposal for side by side urinals came down from wherever, who fucking John Handcocked it? thats the mother fucker you need to be chasing after. Sounds like that dude is overdue for a swirlly!!

[Jason]

Unfortunately the design of bathroom stalls is a personal choice (that is, we have as much a choice in how a business designs their stalls as we do when and where we need to piss). Quite a few actually put dividers between the urinals, but many don't. I doubt there are any regulations concerning spacing of urinals...just as long as they don't leak and create disease, y'know?

Fun fact: urinals were first introduced at the World Fair in London (I forget the date-- 1880's, I believe), with the water resevoir in a glass tank above the urinal unit. They kept goldfish in the tank to add to the novelty! I dunno how they managed to keep the goldfish from flushing with the water...but i think we should bring back this style. Glass toilet bowls with aquatic life!

Of course this might make life more difficult for all you scaredy-pissers...

[Sarah]

Hmmm. Interesting that you said "Handcock" in a thread about men peeing. Freudian slip? Intentional pun? John Hancock didn't spell his name with a D.

[Lori]

Sarah, I would love to say i meant that intentionally, but alas, I did not. Thanks for pointing that out. It put a smile on my face.....