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B the BookAddict
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Jun 21, 2016 02:00PM
Likewise, dely, I live in a magical town but the people are so parochial, insular and conservative. I love, love, love my house but have come to realize it's not my forever home after all. To me, home is the town in the forest where I grew up. And no, I am not a monkey! the little town is situated bang smack in the now national forest, lol:)
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Bette, it must feel really good to go back to live in the place where you grew up, not to mention it's nature's paradise :) I love living in my apartment and in the neighborhood (although tourism has spoiled a bit the quietude of the riverside), but then I just can't dispel the feeling of isolation here. I love the system of government and the civil society and freedoms here, but sometimes I feel I don't belong.
I understand that, Alice. My audiologist is from Hong Kong and she says she feels totally out of it living here and has not managed to really join/be accepted by the town. She said she felt much more accepted in Melb where there is a much more multicultural society. I feel for her, as I've found it hard to really 'get into' the townsfolk here. A shame because it's a gorgeous place and should really be a pleasure to live in but if you haven't lived here for at least two generations, they don't want to know you, even fellow Aussies like me. Their loss, I say:)There have been some great books by Nigerian writers which brush upon this subject.
Bette — I’ve always been a little jealous of you for living on the beautiful Shipwreck Coast, so I’m sorry to hear that the townsfolk are so parochial. But as you say, it’s their loss!
I finished Tasa's Song. 3.5 stars rounded up to 4 . My review:https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Susan wrote: "Bette — I’ve always been a little jealous of you for living on the beautiful Shipwreck Coast, so I’m sorry to hear that the townsfolk are so parochial. But as you say, it’s their loss!"I've lived a lot of places, Bette, and every single place I've lived people have said if you weren't born there you'd never be accepted. With my accent, I'm always foreign, but I like to tell young people I've lived here longer than they have!
This is very much home, and while I miss some of the landscapes of my youth, so much has changed that I certainly don't feel I belong there. I'm a happy Aussie and a happy migrant, (though not a refugee)!
PattyMacDotComma wrote: "I've lived a lot of places, Bette, and every single place I've lived people have said if you weren't born there you'd never be accepted."That's the beauty of living in Canberra; nearly everyone here is from somewhere else.
When we lived in Colorado Springs I was pretty set on moving to the East Coast - not too picky on where, happy to follow the job, but it would be closer to both our families, even if it wasn't very close. But the move to Denver may have changed my mind. I like it here a lot, even in the suburbs.
B the BookAddict wrote: "Likewise, dely, I live in a magical town but the people are so parochial, insular and conservative. I love, love, love my house but have come to realize it's not my forever home after all. To me, h..."Living in the forest sound really lovely!
I'm really very glad to read the experiences of everyone. This makes me feel less lonely and also understood and this is so helpful! Here people are so closed that when they here the places where I have lived (and there aren't too much) they are buffled, they don't understand why a person should move. A few also didn't understand why my son has choosen to go to Malaysia. People are so closed in their culture that they don't understand why a person wants to know a completely different way of living and culture.
B the BookAddict wrote: "Chrissie and Chinook, you are right, we are becoming a less 'one home, one country' type of people. But the type of movement you two mention would drive me nuts, I really like feeling connected. Al..."This I don't understand! i underlined the portion I am referring to. I simply don't feel connected anywhere.
Chinook , I would think a military life is hardest. How long are you stationed in one country? I have lived in each place for always more than at least a decade so I really get to know them. I would not like moving around frequently! I LOVE learning about a place well. Each place has great things....and also some bad sides of course too. You begin to figure out what you yourself prioritize.
dely , Swedes do not move. They are terribly insular. They are born and die in exactly the same place. Most of them. Of course I am generalizing..... I don't fit here even if I have spent most of my life here. I wouldn't fit in America anymore either. In Belgium I don't want to fit. In France I would, but my French is so disgustingly bad. Actually, I think I like France best even if my French sucks. They are more flexible than Swedes. I love their cultural heritage. I love the respect they show for their land, the soil, the trees, nature. Just my personal views.Others may feel completely differently. Living in different countries gives you a different perspective on life.
PattyMacDotComma wrote: "I certainly don't feel I belong there."There are lots of us!!!!! It feels good knowing this.
OR is that people always consider themselves as "not fitting". Not sure. Few people are loaded with self confidence.
Chrissie wrote: "PattyMacDotComma wrote: "I certainly don't feel I belong there."There are lots of us!!!!! It feels good knowing this.
OR is that people always consider themselves as "not fitting". Not sure."
I think it's in the nature of more introspective, thoughtful people to sometimes feel that they don't fit in. Perhaps it's a side-effect of having moved around as a child and often being the "new kid"?
Susan wrote: "I think it's in the nature of more introspective, thoughtful people to sometimes feel that they don't fit in. Perhaps it's a side-effect of having moved around as a child and often being the "new kid"?."You have a good point. Is it related instead to childhood experiences? Maybe you are right. I moved around a lot even as a kid...;Then the rest of my life has just followed that pattern.
What do other think? Is it our childhood that shapes us? On the other hand I do think it is all wrong to blame stuff on our parents. As adults we have the brains and the choice to do with our lives what we want.
I am getting worried. I have the feeling we will soon be told to stop getting off track. This is a thread about what we we have just read. .... Excuse us. (dely, Susan, Bette, Chinook and me)
Chrissie — I'm not suggesting that we should "blame" our parents if we feel we don't quite fit in because our families moved a lot. Rather, it's becoming more widely understood that our early childhood experiences shape us in ways we may not fully understand.Oh yes, we'd better get back on track!
Chrissie wrote: "What do other think? Is it our childhood that shapes us? On the other hand I do think it is all wrong to blame stuff on our parents. As adults we have the brains and the choice to do with our lives what we want.."I hope it's not a problem if we talk about it here. Otherwise a moderator can open a new discussion and move there our messages?
For me it was to be born in a country with Italian citizenship. So I was surrounded by a culture and traditions, but in the family we had Italian habits and tradition. We came in Italy often for the holidays but here I wasn't considered Italian, while in Switzerland I wasn't considered Swiss.
Then in Italy I have moved often, also from one region to the other and people are still curious to know from which region you are. It's a kind of "mark" in order that they can know a bit about you. And it was again strange for me because my father is from one region, my mother from another and I don't feel connected to these regions because I have never lived there, so they shouldn't have anything to do with me. Even now people ask me where I'm from and I don't know what to say because I don't feel to have these kind of roots.
dely wrote: "Chrissie wrote: "What do other think? Is it our childhood that shapes us? On the other hand I do think it is all wrong to blame stuff on our parents. As adults we have the brains and the choice to ..."dely, as a person rather than a moderator! I like your idea of talking about this somewhere else, maybe the 'General chitchat' thread? It's an interesting discussion, but disconcerting when you come on here because you expect to read 16 posts about books that have been read!
Chrissie wrote: "Suzanne wrote: "Chrissie wrote: "Suzanne wrote: "Glad there is still great discussion happening here, Glenn. I had a 'friend' 'de-friend' me over this book. And I'm not outspoken at all I don't thi..."Thanks Chrissie, I really was bothered by it, and I got blocked from the member, but kept getting the notifications on the review, which only kept leading me back to the review and reminding me! I think I commented on the review 'I hope you like it as much as I do' or something boring like that. I was shaken as I'm really not pushy or outspoken, but I think the friend was..
Shame did not love this one. The Appeal by John Grisham. My review:https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Leslie wrote: "Tom wrote: "Finished Macbeth 4 Stars"One of my personal favorites of Shakespeare -- but much better seen than read!"
Indeed. Though the goodreads title doesn't show it, this was a novelization of the play.
Susan wrote: "Chrissie — I'm not suggesting that we should "blame" our parents if we feel we don't quite fit in because our families moved a lot. Rather, it's becoming more widely understood that our early child..."Got'cha.
Gill wrote: "dely, as a person rather than a moderator! I like your idea of talking about this somewhere else, maybe the 'General chitchat' thread? It's an interesting discussion, but disconcerting when you come on here because you expect to read 16 posts about books that have been read! "Ok, sorry for the off topic. The discussion started in such a natural way because of the book I had finished, that I thought there wouldn't be huge problems if we talked about it here.
No problems. If anyone is interested to continue the discussion, we can do it under my review (I add again the link and everyone is welcome: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...).
I don't think that moving to another discussion would be good because I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't be as flowing as it had become here.
Sorry again for the off-topic, though the few messages have been important for me because sharing such experiences made me feel less lonely and also understood. So thanks to who shared his own experience.
yes, dely, I think if we were all in a f2f situation, this is the route the discussion would have followed after your review of Open City. After all, isn't that the beauty of open discussion. But I do understand Gill's point and probably our posts might have been better placed under your review.
5★ for Adam Haslett's wonderful study of a family dealing with depression, Imagine Me Gone.Chapters go back and forth between members of a family who love each other and have the same trouble we all do about when to ask for support and when to offer it . . . and how. And how to deal with the other people in their lives.
No easy answers, but such a real, well written story. I loved it.
My review
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Suzanne wrote: "Shame did not love this one. The Appeal by John Grisham. My review:https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..."
I liked the early Grisham books but felt they became a bit too commercial/formulaic after a while. But that might be influenced by the fact that I had some serious issues about A Time to Kill and have only read a few since then...
B the BookAddict wrote: "yes, dely, I think if we were all in a f2f situation, this is the route the discussion would have followed after your review of Open City. After all, isn't that the beauty of open di..."dely wrote: "Gill wrote: "dely, as a person rather than a moderator! I like your idea of talking about this somewhere else, maybe the 'General chitchat' thread? It's an interesting discussion, but disconcerting..."
It is a tightrope line - I agree that the discussion flowed naturally from dely's review and though I didn't participate, I found it interesting to follow. I would hate to see that sort of discussion leave the group (as it would if it had happened under dely's review) but I agree with dely's comment that it isn't likely for such a discussion to survive a change in venue (being moved to another thread).
I don't think that apologies are called for, but I also see Gill's point of view. As a mod, I was wondering how long to let the discussion go on but as a person I was enjoying it.
Anyways, this is just a long-winded way to say that you have no reason to feel bad dely -- such discussions (even if "off-topic" in some respects) are part of what we, or at least I, come to GR for.
Chrissie wrote: "PattyMacDotComma wrote: "I certainly don't feel I belong there."There are lots of us!!!!! It feels good knowing this.
OR is that people always consider themselves as "not fitting". Not sure. F..."
This is a terrific book just about to be released, and it pulls the previous conversation back on track.
Fitting In
5★ for the excellent memoir by noted children's author Colin Thompson. He is an extraordinary illustrator and some illustrations and photos are included in this book.
It's beautifully produced, and his colourful, troubled, interesting life seems to have settled down a bit at long last. How wonderful that Aussie kids bought him a ticket to come here to visit . . . and he stayed - YAY!
My review (which has a link to some more illustrations). You can ignore what I said, but do go and see his pictures.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Leslie wrote: "It is a tightrope line - I agree that the discussion flowed naturally from dely's review. Anyways, this is just a long-winded way to say that you have no reason to feel bad dely -- such discussions (even if "off-topic" in some respects) are part of what we, or at least I, come to GR for.."
Me too. I don't want this thread to be simply a list of who is reading what. I LIKE a little discussion of books. How you define little is the hard part. I DO think that it is possible to skim read through messages, just as you only glance at books that don't fit your reading interests.
Thank you, dely, for sharing your thoughts.
Chrissie wrote: I don't want this thread to be simply a list of who is reading what. I LIKE a little discussion of books. ."It helps when we're reading each other's reviews to have some sense of why we may feel about a book the way we do, so a bit of chatter doesn't hurt, does it?
PattyMacDotComma wrote: "It helps when we're reading each other's reviews to have some sense of why we may feel about a book the way we do, so a bit of chatter doesn't hurt, does it?"Totally agree. I keep an eye on these threads to help me choose my next book. It's nice to have a real-time conversation with someone who is reading/has just read the same book.
Chrissie wrote: "Leslie wrote: "It is a tightrope line - I agree that the discussion flowed naturally from dely's review. Anyways, this is just a long-winded way to say that you have no reason to feel bad dely -- s..."I only gave my view because dely mentioned about possibly having the conversation somewhere else, Chrissie, no other reason. I wasn't criticising dely, and I'm sure she knows that. I'm beginning to wish I hadn't responded. And it might be possible for you to skimread messages, Chrissie. But I can't.
Gill, we have different views......
Gill wrote: "I wasn't criticising dely, and I'm sure she knows that."I know Gill!
Please please please, love and peace. There are members, like me, who like if a discussion rises from books we have read and don't are bothered with off-topics if they have to do with the book, and there are members who don't like it that much. But it's ok, we have only to find a middle way that can be accepted by everyone.
I enjoyed your review, Alice. I agree that the book is haunting. It's some years now since I've read it, but I still quite often think about it.
Gill wrote: "I enjoyed your review, Alice. I agree that the book is haunting. It's some years now since I've read it, but I still quite often think about it."Thanks Gill! I'm not a mother myself, but I could feel the heartbreaking anguish of the mother in the novel. Shields is a great writer.
My youngest daughter was in college when I read this. So scary.
Lisa Jewell's new mystery will no doubt appeal to fans, but I found the conclusion less than I'd hoped for.Still, she's a good writer, and I did enjoy the characters and the way the story flowed.
If anyone is a NetGalley reviewer, it's still available.
https://s2.netgalley.com/catalog/book...
I Found You
My review
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I finished The Trouble with Goats and Sheep. 4 stars . My review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I finished A Constellation of Vital Phenomena. I read/heard many recommendations of this book and was interested in the subject matter (Chechen War).
About halfway through I put the book at 4.5 stars because of the character descriptions and the beautiful writing .
But then it pulled me in even deeper. I became so involved with all the characters and as I read the end on the train I tried my best to sob discreetly.
5 stars. Not an easy read but definitely the best book I have read for several years.
I read Break in Case of Emergency: A novel which combines some very black humour about working in a non-profit with infertility and the difficulties of friendships and marriage. I really liked it.
Diane S ☔ wrote: "My youngest daughter was in college when I read this. So scary."Yes, it must be a scary read to mum's of daughters.
Just finished the very unsatisfying
Slaughter by John Lutz. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
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