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Most annoying MCT cliches
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Larry
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Apr 23, 2013 11:23AM
What are some cliches that make you throw a book at the wall? I have a few of my own, but I want to see what y'all think.
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"It's always the person you least suspect"
Anything where someone is shot in the shoulder or the "bullet just grazed [insert vital organ]"
hauntingly beautiful.policed his brass (if used more than once)
gumshoe (in any novel newer than 1945)
the smell of copper (when referring to blood at a crime scene. If its a detective, somewhat ok, but most people have no idea what copper smells like, to compare it to blood in the second place)
(really tired of this one) every woman hops into bed, for no apparent reason. If there's only one woman, she has to sleep with the male detective. If there's more than one, they all have to or at least offer to. I mean, c'mon. Detectives aren't constructed of spanish fly.
The bottomless wallet every hero or heroine seems to have - Stuart Woods's Stone Barrington and his cohorts are prime offenders.
John wrote: "hauntingly beautiful.policed his brass (if used more than once)
gumshoe (in any novel newer than 1945)
the smell of copper (when referring to blood at a crime scene. If its a detective, somewha..."
John, I agree with all, except "policed his brass" - never heard that one. Maybe I've skimmed over it. And the cliche about always sleeping with the most beautiful woman - and of course the detective is broke, grizzled, ugly, hard-drinker - is my biggest peeve.
The alcoholic or ex-alcoholic cop or ex-cop is high on my list, too.
Larry wrote: "John, I agree with all, except "policed his brass" - never heard that one. Maybe I've skimmed over it. And the cliche about always sleeping with the most beautiful woman - and of course the detective is broke, grizzled, ugly, hard-drinker - is my biggest peeve. ""policed his brass" is becoming a relatively new cliche. NCIS uses it a lot, and Lee Child does on a occasion. I'll accept it once in a book, if its said by someone who might know what it means (former military sniper or cop) but after that, its such a jargon-y term it makes me think the writer is just showing off.
As far as sleeping with the beautiful woman... I'm relatively ok if there is some plausible reason for why there is instant chemistry. But there usually isn't. It feels like "I'm the detective, you have a vagina, let's go to the bedroom". I don't know where these detectives are hanging out, but in my world, beautiful women don't just give it away like candy. There has to be something that occurs which leads to an attraction. You can't just announce there's a chemistry and keep going.
IMHO, of course.
John wrote: "Larry wrote: "I'm the detective, you have a vagina, let's go to the bedroom"
Too funny. That should be the tagline to a novel.
Too funny. That should be the tagline to a novel.
J. wrote: "John wrote: "Larry wrote: "I'm the detective, you have a vagina, let's go to the bedroom"Too funny. That should be the tagline to a novel."
I hereby claim it in first use! lol.
J. wrote: "John wrote: "Larry wrote: "I'm the detective, you have a vagina, let's go to the bedroom"Too funny. That should be the tagline to a novel."
Worst porn video title ever.
that should be:worst. porn. video. ever.
How about narrators who are touted as "smart, original, characters" when they really aren't. That's probably one of the worst cliches I ever read in any novel and genre.
Maya wrote: "How about narrators who are touted as "smart, original, characters" when they really aren't. That's probably one of the worst cliches I ever read in any novel and genre."Yes! I'm pretty sure I have come across this a few times. The blurbs lead the reader astray.
"You had me at hello." Oops! "Let's end this charade" has a nice clichéd ring to it.
yes, all detectives are alcoholics That goes for TV too!
J. wrote: "Anything where someone is shot in the shoulder or the "bullet just grazed [insert vital organ]""J, you're catching writers in a conundrum: bad guys can't miss as much as they used to; readers hate it when heroes die; which leaves us putting a bullet... where? :)
I had a sidekick who had a chunk of his hip bone blown off and caught flack for that. He had 3 months of rehab just to run again. Please tell me (I'm serious), where should they get shot?
Peace, Seeley
John wrote: "hauntingly beautiful.policed his brass (if used more than once)
gumshoe (in any novel newer than 1945)
the smell of copper (when referring to blood at a crime scene. If its a detective, somewha..."
AGREED! Smell of copper is the worst. Even 'metallic' scent. Blood smells like blood and lots of blood stinks like crap.
Peace, Seeley
Seeley wrote: "J. wrote: "Anything where someone is shot in the shoulder or the "bullet just grazed [insert vital organ]""
J, you're catching writers in a conundrum: bad guys can't miss as much as they used to; ..."
Well, it depends on what kind of story one is writing and what their audience consists of, doesn't it? I said that the shoulder thing is a cliche, because it really is and is way overused. They could lose a lung or something and still survive. How about a kneecap?
I think when you have some of the main cast die, it's a bit jarring to the reader and makes them think that it's not just the tertiary characters who can get the axe. Or at least have them maimed in some way. When I read a series and none of the main characters are ever in any real danger, it takes me out of the story and/or I get bored. I think if you want to have a novel that the reader connects with, you have to at some point show there is a reality of someone they have grown to care about getting legitimately hurt if they are constantly in harms way.
I didn't mean to derail the thread :/
J, you're catching writers in a conundrum: bad guys can't miss as much as they used to; ..."
Well, it depends on what kind of story one is writing and what their audience consists of, doesn't it? I said that the shoulder thing is a cliche, because it really is and is way overused. They could lose a lung or something and still survive. How about a kneecap?
I think when you have some of the main cast die, it's a bit jarring to the reader and makes them think that it's not just the tertiary characters who can get the axe. Or at least have them maimed in some way. When I read a series and none of the main characters are ever in any real danger, it takes me out of the story and/or I get bored. I think if you want to have a novel that the reader connects with, you have to at some point show there is a reality of someone they have grown to care about getting legitimately hurt if they are constantly in harms way.
I didn't mean to derail the thread :/
Yeah, the ornery detective shtick gets very tiring. Usually, if the first chapter of a book I'm browsing at a bookstore has the protagonist filling us with his/her sarcastic quips about everyone they encounter, I'll tend to not read further.
Geraldine wrote: "It was a dark and stormy night...!"
Or worse, I've seen it as a pun "dark and stormy knight." *cringes*
Or worse, I've seen it as a pun "dark and stormy knight." *cringes*
John wrote: "hauntingly beautiful..."I'm hauntingly beautiful ... or do I have to be dead to haunt people? Maybe I should rethink that :)
brand new detectives or almost retired detectives are the Star Trek redshirts of MCT novels.
John wrote: "brand new detectives or almost retired detectives are the Star Trek redshirts of MCT novels."LOL -- and they're recovered alcoholics so you feel the loss. "And it was going to be his first sobriety anniversary tomorrow" :)
Peace, Seeley
Seeley wrote: "John wrote: "brand new detectives or almost retired detectives are the Star Trek redshirts of MCT novels."
LOL -- and they're recovered alcoholics so you feel the loss. "And it was going to be his..."
Also, it's usually the last day on the job/force.
LOL -- and they're recovered alcoholics so you feel the loss. "And it was going to be his..."
Also, it's usually the last day on the job/force.
Jenni wrote: "And all that is what supposedly gives the character depth. Why can't a nice diplomatic guy be deep?"
Because nice guys are invisible because they aren't intriguing enough, ask most women under the age of 25...
Because nice guys are invisible because they aren't intriguing enough, ask most women under the age of 25...
Seeley wrote: "John wrote: "brand new detectives or almost retired detectives are the Star Trek redshirts of MCT novels."LOL -- and they're recovered alcoholics so you feel the loss. "And it was going to be his..."
"I guess I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue..." Oh wait, that one actually works.
Larry wrote: "Seeley wrote: "John wrote: "brand new detectives or almost retired detectives are the Star Trek redshirts of MCT novels."
LOL -- and they're recovered alcoholics so you feel the loss. "And it was ..."
This reminds me of always hearing "what is he/she on/sniffing/taking?" and the canned laughter that ensues from it. Similarly, "I'll have what SHE'S having!"
A fake orgasm. She's having a fake orgasm, and that's not our special this evening.
LOL -- and they're recovered alcoholics so you feel the loss. "And it was ..."
This reminds me of always hearing "what is he/she on/sniffing/taking?" and the canned laughter that ensues from it. Similarly, "I'll have what SHE'S having!"
A fake orgasm. She's having a fake orgasm, and that's not our special this evening.
My sister is always " Bite Me " I can't stand that, I feel asking if she really wants me to bite me.
Cliche: the hair on the back of the neck standing up. Maybe that's because my hair is too long, but is everything from the male perspective?And J, "I'll have what she's having" is SO over... :)
When a character has "nothing to lose."
(although this is more aimed at movies, television)That turning on the radio, tv, or newspaper will always tell the protagonist (or anyone I guess) precisely what they needed to know, on time, without covering any other story. The news report starts with the circumstances at hand, instead of the character having to wait through farm reports, restaurant openings, advice on purchasing a rake, or even, god forbid, news going on somewhere other than the corner where the story is set.
The outrageous odds AGAINST hearing that precious tidbit so conveniently is astronomical. (oooh! odds being astronomical is ALSO a cliche).
I think these amazingly fortuitous news reports are a crutch for not being able to plot without TV ex Machina providing the exposition on the spot.
When a character is described as having a "dark past". In fact, I am so sick of the word "darkness" being thrown around at everything, tbh.
"legs that just won't quit"what? if they quit, do they fall off onto the floor, like barbie legs?
Or: won't quit WHAT? walking? being long? getting shaved?
Patricia wrote: ""LOL" - Who isn't sick of this?"LOL! (oops)
John wrote: ""legs that just won't quit"
what? if they quit, do they fall off onto the floor, like barbie legs?
Or: won't quit WHAT? walking? being long? getting shaved?"
They have great benefits and a comfortable salary, but aren't particularly good at their job so they aren't about to tender their resignation anytime soon. Not until something better comes along...
what? if they quit, do they fall off onto the floor, like barbie legs?
Or: won't quit WHAT? walking? being long? getting shaved?"
They have great benefits and a comfortable salary, but aren't particularly good at their job so they aren't about to tender their resignation anytime soon. Not until something better comes along...
"she looked at him through her lashes."How can is that possible? Unless of course your lashes defy gravity and are resting on your chin!lol
I had to put a novel down when the character said, during a description of lovemaking, that he reached over and "touched her sex." Blah! It is just so corny.
VickiLee wrote: "I had to put a novel down when the character said, during a description of lovemaking, that he reached over and "touched her sex." Blah! It is just so corny."ewwwwwwww!!! I don't blame you Vickilee.
I can't stand when the detective is supposedly so hot that every gal he meets jumps his bones (or sticks her hand down his pants). Really really really hate that. I've stopped reading some authors because of it.
Barbara wrote: "I can't stand when the detective is supposedly so hot that every gal he meets jumps his bones (or sticks her hand down his pants). Really really really hate that. I've stopped reading some authors ..."yeah, agreed, that was one of my observations on an earlier page, as well.
I was scanning through this thread and had to laugh. Great comments. As a mystery writer, I work hard to avoid cliches, flawless super detectives and timely clues that just seem to magically pop up just when the hero needs one; or it's time to wrap up the book. Truth be told, those types of things were one of my motivations in writing my own mysteries. However in "Goodbye Ginny Madison" I actually used mystery cliches to portray the main character's attempts to become a mystery writer. He's actually a secret romance writer trying to break into the mystery genre so I had the opportunity to include romance cliches as well. I had a great time writing the book because of it. Anyway, not necessarily trying to promote the book, just wanted to chime in because I enjoyed reading everyone's comments. I'm going to have to add a few more cliches to my list of things not to use in future books thanks to this thread! LOL (whoopsie!)
This isn't an annoying cliche so much as just an annoyance. I have been working at a Public High School for the past seventeen years. In that time, I have found that teenagers are becoming less verbal. I have started telling them not to visit after Graduation if they are unable to hold a conversation. Where is the breakdown?
Patricia wrote: "This isn't an annoying cliche so much as just an annoyance. I have been working at a Public High School for the past seventeen years. In that time, I have found that teenagers are becoming less verbal. I have started telling them not to visit after Graduation if they are unable to hold a conversation. Where is the breakdown? "um... can't say for sure, but I am confused how giving them an ultimatum like that does anything to improve the situation.
it would be nice to see a rich adult daughter of a rich guy NOT be manipulative and cold, or shimmering with unbridled lust. In that way, her character would not be defined by how she does or doesn't gatekeep her genitals. In real life, I seldom see any woman who is defined by her relative promiscuity or lack thereof. She's just Margaret, who happens to have some sort of sex life. Women don't walk up to you and self-identify as sluts or prudes.
John wrote: "Women don't walk up to you and self-identify as sluts or prudes. "John, we don't see it because we're males and tone-deaf about that kind of signal. Within the world of women, subtle moves, certain words, and specific fashions are clues with flashing neon lights.
Peace, Seeley
