POST COMPLAINTS HERE Showing 2,451-2,500 of 7,256

[Tj]

I am disgruntled with myself. I agreed on Monday to watch my grandson this weekend. I had no idea I would flare this week. I should have cancelled but I am such a softy I could have never done it:( Next few days will be interesting.

[Whoever]

It's ridiculous. I saw Goodread Liberians Group Discussion about one author self-quoting too much. I mean who cares? There is no rule that says he can't. besides the quote section is for a person to quote and i think author is considered as a person. i can't believe it that people are worried about such things. They must have had a bad day or something. Self-quoting does not harm anyone. if quotes are not great, then people will ignore it. If quotes are great, then people will like it. Simple as that. The world is not going to end because author is self-quoting their books too much.

[Goesta]

I begrudge whoever Whoever's fabulous moniker. I want to be known as Whoever when I am quoted.

[Goesta]

„Petra has a plan. Of course. And the twins came out last night.“

„What are you talking about,“ Chuck snorted. „They’ve been bonking bedazzled boys since they were, what, twelve?“

-- Whoever

[Goesta]

On the subject of citations, I am miffed that I only now found the reference to something I'd posted earlier somewhere:

"I wish I'd said that." (O. Wilde)
"You will, Oscar, you will." (J. McNeill Whistler)

[Macky]

How annoying that Whoever has such a great name.
I'm a bit miffed too. I think I'll have my quotes said by "Like Whatever!!"

[Anil]

I am miffed that I wasn't born in an English-spoken country. I could have been named Will and my surname could be Knott.

[Macky]

" If I can't have you no one can! .... My nails are tipped with arsenic .... Love me or we both get pricked! "
747 Love In The Skies.

~~ Like Whatever!! ~~

I'm bejiggered I want to change my name now!
What do you think Will Knott?

[Rick]

Anil wrote: "I am miffed that I wasn't born in an English-spoken country. I could have been named Will and my surname could be Knott."

Or you could have had the first name "Harry" and the surname "Bear"

Or if you had been a woman: first name "Iva" and the surname "Dick"

"Wherever, whatever, have a nice day." Gus Van Sant, My Own Private Idaho.

[Goesta]

I regret that the only pen name appropriate for Macky is O. Snap.

[Goesta]

May I begrudgingly recommend Anil C. Hydrate to our other friend. Possibly a cushiony, hypnotic drug.

[Boyd, Hunk of hunky burning passion]

Tj wrote: "I am disgruntled with myself. I agreed on Monday to watch my grandson this weekend. I had no idea I would flare this week. I should have cancelled but I am such a softy I could have never done i..."

Tj, your grandson is such a gorgeous baby I cannot imagine anyone not wanting to help you out with the babysitting. If I was nearby I'd volunteer to help in a flash.

[Macky]

Goesta wrote: "I regret that the only pen name appropriate for Macky is O. Snap."

A harrumphing big HeeHee!

@ TJ... I'd help too, what a sweetie. :)

[Rick]

@Lucas, I regret if this is opening, or keeping open, a proverbial can of worms about Death in Venice but ...

I’m curious if you have a similar reaction to the story of Zeus’s obsession with Ganymede?
Have you actually watched the film? I ask because your comments seem to come from a perspective that embodies a heterosexist, dare I say even homophobic, position.
Gustav is sick, no question of that. It is his illness that kills him, although, in the context of the film, it is unclear how much, or if at all, the cholera epidemic contributes to his death. But he is sick not only in the body, but in the mind as well. He will not allow himself to love, he has divorced himself from healthy emotional responses, and the result is his subsequent obsession with Tadzio. It is his inability to reconcile his feelings toward Tadzio and society’s moral strictures that torment him and degenerate his health, mental and physical, even further.
As for his being pedophilic? That is a matter of interpretation. Is Gustav obsessed with Tadzio? Certainly. Does he want to have sexual relations with Tadzio? That I would argue is questionable. There are many moments in the film when Gustav is confronted with Tadzio, often actively courting Gustav’s attention and Gustav repeatedly does not follow up. Is this a weakness on Gustav’s part? Perhaps self-loathing? Is it that he does not want to actively engage in such activity? Perhaps. In any case, Gustav consciously keeps Tadzio at a distance, he even attempts to leave, but is quite happy when fate sets up a sequence of events that prompt his return. Still these apparent and repeated rebukes by Gustav apparently often leaves Tadzio frustrated, annoyed and confused. Can an adult love and admire the beauty of a youth or child without it becoming sexual? Gustav’s emotional state will not allow him to reconcile these feelings – but it is his fear of society’s reprisal and reaction that further alienates and isolates him.
Gustav makes himself look younger initially at the insistence of his barber, his earlier reaction in the film to another male similarly made up illustrates Gustav’s initial feelings about such a procedure. I must admit that Gustav’s appearance under all that make-up by today’s standards is ludicrous, but in the context of the era in which the film is set this would not have been nearly as out of place as it would be today. He does continue to ‘paint himself up’ the next day, but this is also his last day alive – take that however you will. Still it was quite common in earlier time periods for men to don make-up and women to go without; this reversal was I believe a 20th century phenomena (although it probably started switching genders in the 19th). The story takes place in the early years of the 20th century and does not portray or deal with American culture or norms. Another, more recent, film, set in the same time period (roughly speaking) is Titanic (Cameron, 1997). In comparing these two vastly different films only on the way they portray the culture of the European wealthy could not be more divergent. Titanic is hopelessly anachronistic in comparison to Death in Venice which is probably just as anachronistic when compared to the reality of those first few decades of the 20th century preceding WWI. Does Gustav look ridiculous when he’s all painted up? Of course. That’s the point. Doesn’t Katherine Helmond look ridiculous when she’s getting herself made up to look younger than she is in Terry Gilliam’s masterpiece Brazil (1986)? Anyone who is actively and hopelessly attempting to look, or act, much younger than their age is opening themselves to ridicule. What about Hollywood’s obsession with casting people in their 20s and even 30s as teenagers? I can barely watch movies or shows like Friday Night Lights or pretty much anything that Hollywood casts people obviously overage as high school students because it destroys any sense of believability.
The film is supposed to make you uncomfortable. It is after all about a middle-aged man obsessing about a teenage boy. The issue though is not about pedophilia but about beauty and attraction. Is Tadzio beautiful? Even if beauty is ONLY in the eye of the beholder, if someone finds Tadzio beautiful, does that not make him beautiful? And if he is, what does it say about a society that refused to acknowledge his beauty? This even further reinforces, not only, America’s obsession with youth but also with the hypocrisy of attitudes about pedophilia. What else can you say about a culture that glorifies and obsesses about youth and youth culture while simultaneously demonizing anyone who vocalizes said obsession? This is one of the things the film was attempting to address. Had Gustav been obsessing about some lovely female, the response would undoubtedly have been merely something like: Oh, yes, of course she’s beautiful, she’s a regular Lolita. But as she’s only 15, she’s jailbait. So, just look don’t touch. But as soon as the notion of an adult male obsessing about the beauty of a boy gets depicted, everything changes. Now it is not understandable but misguided, now it is a sickness that must be purged from society. That is, by definition, a double standard. And that is, by definition, hypocritical.
Still it is also important to note that not all societies have the same attitudes about sexuality that America has. Many European countries do not have the same rigid standards on age separation and the film does depict Europeans not Americans. Actually not even every state in the US has the same judicial constraints on sexuality and age of consent. Japan has an entire sub-culture that glorifies teen-age school girls and even openly fetishizes them in their uniforms. I am not advocating pedophilia, but I do think that some of your reactions and responses to the film are highly subjective and enormously judgmental.
As for the actor, Björn Andrésen, and his treatment at the hands of the director, Luchino Visctoni, I can only offer an opinion. I do recall seeing, years ago, a short documentary about Andrésen and I don’t recall any of these accusations being addressed. From what you have painted though it would appear that the actor might have been unable to separate his own reality from that of the opinion of others and that of the character he portrayed (a similar disastrous fate befell Wil Wheaton from Star Trek: The Next Generation, but he was able to eventually leave behind the emotional baggage of others being unable to separate fiction from reality). Therapy might have helped Andrésen come to understand that how others perceived him had nothing to do with his actual life. That being said, if Andrésen was victimized, that is a true tragedy and his victimization is inexcusable.

[Tj]

Wow! I am disgruntled, you all have deep discussions! I haven't done that kind of analysis of anything in ages.

[Jerry]

Rick wrote: "@Lucas, I regret if this is opening, or keeping open, a proverbial can of worms about Death in Venice but ...

I’m curious if you have a similar reaction to the story of Zeus’s obsession with Ganym..."

Rick, Thanks you for your insightful essay. I am obviously entirely lacking in your film/novel understanding and erudite ability to convey such analysis, and for that I am dusky complaining.
Personally, I think the relatively recent Catholic Church pediphilia scandals have probably colored people's perceptions of what is acceptable for anyone's interaction with those under 18. So how the film was viewed when it first came out is vastly different then how it could be viewed by some now.
To me it still revolves around someone who is desparatly trying to appear attractive to those vastly younger. I see this happening in real life all the time, in both gay and straight combinations. It has been a while since I have seen the film, but my recollection is not one of lust toward an underage boy, but of longing to be appreciated and relevant to the young to the point of obsession.

[Gabbo]

I'm disgruntled that I'm liking Da Vinci's Demons on Starz and in the first episode before the first 30 minutes ended old men were pawing pretty young boy things twice so... I'm just saying. (But I'm not liking it because of that, hell no. Da Vinci is a total hottie and his sidekicks are as hot, muahahha)

Rick said something very true, if it was a pretty girl the story would be completely different. Even if the grown up was a woman and the obsession a young man. We kind of live with a lot of double standards.

[Rick]

Jerry wrote: "It has been a while since I have seen the film, but my recollection is not one of lust toward an underage boy, but of longing to be appreciated and relevant to the young to the point of obsession."

Well put Jerry, I agree. From that perspective then what do you make of Tadzio prancing about (is there any other way of describing it) vying for Gustav's attention?

What do make of Hollywood's tradition of casting older actors (both male and female) to play significantly younger roles? Does this wreak havoc with how pedophilia is interpreted?

[Fangtasia]

All of this in-depth analysis has helped me have what I think is a good understanding of what the controversial film (Death in Venice) is about.

It seems to be a very similar concept to American Beauty, a (Source: Wikipedia) 1999 American drama film directed by Sam Mendes and written by Alan Ball. Kevin Spacey stars as office worker Lester Burnham, who has a midlife crisis when he becomes infatuated with his teenage daughter's best friend, Angela.

I remember a lot of controversy around this film, back when it was released, precisely because of the implied pedophilia. Yet the movie won 5 Oscars and has an 8.5/10 rating with 2,600 reviews at IMDb.com.

Double standard, because it's a heterosexual pairing?

[Rick]

Fangtasia wrote: "American Beauty...Double standard, because it's a heterosexual pairing?"

I would say so. But it is also problematic in that, if memory serves, the principle actors were all adults in American Beauty where as in Death in Venice Björn Andrésen is not, at least by American standards, I'm not sure how age of consent standards would apply in Europe since it was filmed in Italy with actors that were not Italian citizens and released theatrically by Warner Bros., an American company. Does jurisdiction come from where the film was made, the nationality of actors or where the film was screened? Lots of problems to have to untangle. And then Lucas brough up the incident that occured at the film festival - I've forgotten where he said, Cannes? If so that is in France. All these places might have different legal definitions about age of consent standards and recognition of adult status. But American Beauty is a perfect example of adult/minor relationships in the US (potentially problematized by the age of the actors).

[Goesta]

To be fair, DiV won quite a number of awards in '71 & 72. I don't think the major objections raised (here) are to the film, but to the possible maltreatment of the young actor, who had the further misfortune of never again being as well known for anything else and, by his own account, having had a miserable life because of it. Which discussion I'm staying well away from. The film itself is definitely worth watching, and probably more enduring than American Beauty, which is also a good film. ;)

[Jerry]

Very interesting to bring up American Beauty. When I saw that film I was kind of sickened by the age difference but maybe it was because it was hetero or that it actually happened? That was definitely sexual, whereas DiV was not.

[Boyd, Hunk of hunky burning passion]

Rick wrote: " I'm not sure how age of consent standards would apply in Europe since it was filmed in Italy with actors that were not Italian citizens and released theatrically by Warner Bros., an American company. Does jurisdiction come from where the film was made, the nationality of actors or where the film was screened? "

Film crews and actors are not exempt from Italian law. Therefore the laws of Italy had to be followed.

Björn Andrésen, the actor who played Tadzio was 15 at the time he made the film. In 1970 the age of consent in Italy was 16. (by 2007 it was 14 except in certain cases where the adult is in a position of authority then it is 16.)

The real life Tadzio that Thomas Mann fell in love with in Venice was Władysław Moes (The Polish nickname for Władysław is Adzio.) Mann's wife said the boy was about 13. When Mann wrote the book Death in Venice the boys age was said to be about 14 and Mann of course ad a "T" to Adzio to create Tadzio.

If the the movie Tadzio was the same age as the real Tadzio, the book's Tadzio or the actors age Tadzio was under the age of consent at the time it was filmed.

As for whether Mann was writing about beauty in an artistic or aesthetic sense it is clear in the book that the 50ish MC was sexually aroused because he has a a dream filled with orgiastic Dionysian imagery which reveals to him the sexual nature of his feelings for Tadzio.

Afterwards, he begins staring at the boy so openly and following him so persistently that the boy's guardians finally notice, and take to warning Tadzio whenever he approaches too near the strange man.

So our 50 something protagonist in the book was giving the child looks that were suspiciously lustful enough for the child to be warned to stay away from him.

If the movie version of the book was attempting to follow the book the MC was looking at the boy as a sex object not a personification of a concept of beauty like in sculpture or a painting or a poem.

Goesta wrote: "possible maltreatment of the young actor, who had the further misfortune of never again being as well known for anything else and, by his own account, having had a miserable life because of it."

After the film he became a musician and later worked in theater according to October 15, 2003 article and interview in The Globe. " On the back of his success with Death in Venice, Andresen was persuaded by his grandmother to go to Japan, where the film had been a big hit. It was she who had first applied to an advert in Sweden for film parts for children - "She felt I was so talented and should be world famous, you know how it is," he says drily. She certainly got her wish: in the space of a few weeks, he recorded two pop songs and appeared in several commercials. When Andresen performed in Japan, he found himself mobbed by girls: "You've seen the pictures of the Beatles in America? It was like that. There was a hysteria about it."

Andresen's true love was music. After school, he applied to study at music college, but didn't get in. Instead, he took piano lessons privately with one of Sweden's most highly regarded teachers. His ambition, after his return from Japan, was to start a Duke Ellington-style big band"

In the early 80s, after his girlfriend became pregnant, Andresen finally went to theatre college, which led to a job running a small theatre in Stockholm, doing everything from directing, to lighting and dishwashing. It was perhaps the most satisfying period of his life: "You can imagine how good it felt to turn down film work."

Since then Andresen has survived the death of one of his children in infancy, and "the inevitable divorce". He has even resumed his acting career recently, though strictly only on the stage (in a Tennessee Williams play). Almost to his surprise, he found he loved it - because it felt like his choice. "I have to fight these days, just like anyone else," he says, "which actually feels quite all right."

So evidently he was not miserable all his life.

By the way, I agree with Lucas that a movie about a 50+ year old man fixated on a prepubescent boy or even an adolescent is sickening and not in the least beautiful especially if the intent was to be faithful to Thomas Mann's book where the old man had a sexual lust for the boy not a conceptual, innocent love of beauty.

[Boyd, Hunk of hunky burning passion]

Rick wrote: "Well put Jerry, I agree. From that perspective then what do you make of Tadzio prancing about (is there any other way of describing it) vying for Gustav's attention?..."

You are blaming the victim? You imply this was the fault of the child for "prancing" about vying for Gustav's attention? That sounds like what men used to do to women who had been raped: accuse the woman of being too sexy.

[Rick]

Boyd wrote: "That sounds like what men used to do to women who had been raped: accuse the woman of being too sexy."

I apologize if my terminology implied that I was saying that Tadzio was to blame in the film. Gustav is the adult and any victimization that occurs was his fault. What I was attempting to describe was how Tadzio was actively seeking Gustav's attention, playfully seeing what would happen. What his intent was is as cryptic as Gustav's intent. This is one of the problems with film analysis. Unlike literature, film is not able to 'get inside the head of the character' and instead leaves much, as with real life, up to interpretation. As for you comments on the book and the motivations and intentions described there in? Thank you. As I stated in an earlier post, I have not read the novel and any inference that I was offering as a kind of analysis of the book's characterizations was unintended. I apologise if my comments sounded like I was saying that in the context of the film Tadzio was to blame for Gustav's actions. In no way shape or fame is anyone, every to blame for someone else's actions. Even if someone, let's say person 7, where to hand another person, let's say person 4, a gun and ask person 4 to shoot person 7. It is STILL person 4's fault if person 4 actually pulls the trigger and shoots person 7. The decision and consequences of any actions belong to the person doing them. The fact that we live in a culture that allows people to avoid responsibility for their actions is one of the worst aspects of our culture and it is destroying our economy, our government and our ability to co-exist with one another.
Let me put it this way: in the context of the film - even if Tadzio were actively pursuing a sexual relationship with Gustav (and I am NOT, I repeat NOT saying that he was) were Gustav to act on that the responsibility would be solely on Gustav's shoulders. Tadzio would only be responsible for his own actions not any actions that Gustav took.
If a man rapes a woman, or another man for that matter, and she had been dancing naked in front of him, even if she were actively trying to seduce him - he is still responsible for his actions.
I knew I was probably opening a can of worms and I knew I should have kept my fingers quiet. But the responsibility is mine. I am sorry if I have offended anyone.

[[deleted user]]

I am rebutatated that straight NFL Football Players are starting to become champions of gay rights particularly gay marriage including: Chris Kluwe, Brandon Ayanbadejo, Domonique Foxworth, Scott Fujita,Dave Ball, Donte Stallworth and Terrell Suggs. Forty-two athletes and figures in professional sports recently filed a brief to the Supreme Court calling for the overturning of California's Proposition 8, which bans same-sex marriage in the state.

I am especially rattled that straight NFL punter Chris Kluwe had the nerve to say this in support of gay marriage:



"I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails."
—Chris Kluwe

To show his support for Gay Marriage Kluwe even did some sexy poses for OUT magazine, the premier American gay publication.



Also see the slide show on the Huffington Post website of “Staight professional athletes who have come out in support of gay marriage and/or LGBT rights" at this link:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03...

I am so shocked by this support I don't have the words to complain.

[Roger]

Does the new rule make the words DiV a new curmudgeonly type word to begin a complaint, please?

[[deleted user]]

Roger wrote: "Does the new rule make the words DiV a new curmudgeonly type word to begin a complaint, please?"

I regret that only the letters DiV may be used, not the full-title. You may say I'm DiVied that it is no fun reading people analyzing 1971 films at such length over and over again.

Failure to obey rule 6 is punishable by death in an iItalian canal city or expulsion from the Complaint Department. It's your choice—we aim to please.

[Kendra]

Lucas wrote: "I am rebutatated that straight NFL Football Players are starting to become champions of gay rights particularly gay marriage including: Chris Kluwe, Brandon Ayanbadejo, Domonique Foxworth, Scott Fu..."

I am incensed that they are ruining my dumb jock fantasies!

[Ije the Devourer of Books]

I am annoyed that I have missed soooooo many posts. I will endeavour to do better

[Goesta]

In other news, on the detrimental effect of a certain canal city on actors' health, Kat Hepburn was made to jump into the putrid waters just around the corner from where we used to live, by a legendary American director, four times, to film that classic Summertime scene, which apparently caused her life-long conjunctivitis. I regret to say that a few years ago, the store featured there closed forever. I vote that rule 6 is amended to prohibit any mention of that wretched city whatsoever, which also ruined my own health a few years back. Perhaps a concerted effort in these pages to disallow that place will cause my hubby to return from there and not go back ;)

[[deleted user]]

I complain that I am tired to even make a real complain :-( the same here, day after day :-( read my past complains that is the same everyday now :-(

Thank you Boyd for your sweet and kind words that means a lot to me, thank you for your support xxx <3

Thank you all for the complain department for your sweet and kind words that means a lot to me, thank you for your support xxx <3

A lot of hugs to everyone and smooches

[Gabbo]

I'm extremely DiV'd for my lack of knowledge of the German language, the lyricism of phrases like this leaves me discombobulated and wanting more:

Die fette Latte tief im offenen Loch

Luckily for me, I receive my Cazzo Films newsletter also in English and thus received the needed clarification. Which is worthy of a Macky Mackyula Grimm's story.‏

Grab your translatox phasers and aim at that jewel!

[Lori S.]

Lucas wrote: "I am rebutatated that straight NFL Football Players are starting to become champions of gay rights particularly gay marriage including: Chris Kluwe, Brandon Ayanbadejo, Domonique Foxworth, Scott Fu..."

I am unupset to say that the NHL came out recently with their own announcement along the same lines (to which Stephani Hecht (Blind Pass) must be dancing in her living room with joy): NHL Announces Support for Gay Rights ...

[Goesta]

Gabbo wrote: "I'm extremely DiV'd for my lack of knowledge of the German language, the lyricism of phrases like this leaves me discombobulated and wanting more:

Die fette Latte tief im offenen Loch

Luckily for..."

Rhythmic and alliterative, yes. Lyrical? Hm.

[Aves]

I want to self-indulgently bemoan my abiding and obdurate weakness for previously straight, newly gay men with an electron-like affinity for GBS (please tell me you all know exactly what that stands for...trying to be mindful of the Group Rules here), who remain nevertheless, in the deepest, darkest depths of their closet, and are in no way of being pried out of it any time soon.

What is wrong with me?

[Danni]

Aves wrote: "I want to self-indulgently bemoan my abiding and obdurate weakness for previously straight, newly gay men with an electron-like affinity for GBS (please tell me you all know exactly what that stand..."

You are attracted to men who have opted for Gastric Bypass Surgery?

[Goesta]

Grievous Bodily Swarm?

[Danni]

Oh dear, I have a feeling Anil may have opened a can of worms wrigglier than a certain film that shall remain nameless.

[Anil]

I am angry with myself for not knowing what I have done.

[Kendra]

Danni wrote: "Aves wrote: "I want to self-indulgently bemoan my abiding and obdurate weakness for previously straight, newly gay men with an electron-like affinity for GBS (please tell me you all know exactly wh..."

Golden Boy Syndrome? But this is Aves we are talking about so maybe not. I am knackered to point out Aves that if they can't see what a great treasure you would be for keeps than they obviously deserve to be in their lonely closet.

[Lori S.]

Or perhaps they shop here?


For the record, I have no idea what those letters stand for. I just like Danni's response. :o)

[Anil]

Isn't golden boy used for denoting guys who have not had sex with women, though? I am miffed at myself for not being sure about it, though.

[Danni]

Anil wrote: "I am angry with myself for not knowing what I have done."

Oops, you didn't do anything. It was Aves, I got the name wrong! Soz :)

[Ije the Devourer of Books]

Dream spinner Press have a sale!!!!! Woo hoo 20% off audio and e books. It pains me to have to tell you this. Buy buy buy!!!!

[Aves]

Trying so hard to abide by The Group Rules....

GBS: Translation - Homosexual Anal/Rectal Copulation.

Geez, what have I done now? Ergo GBS stands for well, gay b*** s**.

[Macky]

Great Big salami's? Are they sausage afficianado's?

[Fangtasia]

Aves wrote: "Trying so hard to abide by The Group Rules....

GBS: Translation - Homosexual Anal/Rectal Copulation.

Geez, what have I done now? Ergo GBS stands for well, gay b*** s**."

I'm PO'd to need to ask Aves not to develop an aneurism. I think we got it.

As for your initial question, what is wrong with you?, I would answer with another couple questions: where this newly gay man in your life (GBS fiend that he hopefully is) to decide to come out of the closet, would you stop being attracted to him? If he wanted a long term relationship with you, would his being out and proud diminish your willingness to commit?

I'm no psychologist, but I think the answers you give would speak for themselves. You get my drift, right?

[Roger]

GBS = Great British Summer…

[Danni]

Roger wrote: "GBS = Great British Summer…"

Hooray for the Great British Summer. GBS is something that should be celebrated more ;-)