The APC Weird Al Yankovich Challenge

[Jessica]

Here's how it works: summarize your book by writing a song parody about it. You can do someone else's work, but I strongly recommend that you give the author a heads-up before doing so (so they won't think you're mocking them). Read the Parody I did on my own novel, Ice, for an example. It would probably be better to post it on your blog and copy and paste the link, but you can also type it directly here. If this takes off, I may turn it into a contest where other members vote on the winner. (if this happens, the contest will start on or after the 11th to avoid interfering with the #IndieRoar event)

[Jessica]

IceJessica Wren. This is a parody of "Money for Nothing" that I wrote to summarize Ice.
http://jessicawrenfiction.com/2015/06...

[Jamie]

Oh great, now I'm an "enabler." And as such I loved it!

[Jessica]

Jamie wrote: "Oh great, now I'm an "enabler." And as such I loved it!"

Well, we gotta have some fun in here. Otherwise, we'd just be another review group.

[Doug]

If anyone does a parody of a rap song I may do it in audio for them. I ran a fairly successful Youtube channel doing rap parodies for a video game a few years ago.

[Jessica]

Cool! That'd be great! I was also going to offer "ghostwriting" to anyone whose book I read who can't write a parody.

[Jessica]

I'm also willing to see if anyone would be willing to sing their parody (I will). That would be cool to put on YouTube and an inexpensive alternative to the book trailer.

[Jamie]

Ahem. With apologies to all music fans. To the tune of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds:

Warning: Contains the odd spoiler...

"Luci on a drive with James"

Pictures of herself at her best friend's wedding
Where the photographer's wearing a lavender tie
Shannon she calls her, but she answers quite vaguely
A girl so incredibly shy

Evening hours of guitars and songs
As her thoughts swirl around in her head
Her cell phone it rings with a call from so far
And she's gone

Luci has never been so lonely
Luci has never been so lost
Luci needs to dump her boyfriend
Aaaaahhhhh...

Following morning and a ride to the airport
Where the baggage handlers strike and now she cant fly
Her call to the airline is important to them
A girl who's cell phone dies

Jimmy from the wedding her driver from before
Asks her if she is okay
She climbs to her feet with the help of his hand
And they're gone

Luci accepts a ride from Jimmy
Luci doesn't know what else to do
Luci needs to dump her boyfriend
Aaaaahhhhh...

Pictures of landscapes so new and so clear
Sunburned hills with cobalt blue skies
He's there at her side so tall and so kind
His eyes so incredibly brown

Luci wants to get her life back
Luci has never been so far
Luci needs to dump her boyfriend
Aaaaahhhhh...

Luci needs to get to Auckland
Luci has to save her career
Luci wants to dump her boyfriend
Aaaaahhhhh...

Luci just wants to be happy [fading out]
Luci just needs to be free [fading out]
Luci wants to play in the diamond league in Antwerp [fading out]
Aaaaahhhhh... [fade out]

[Jessica]

Jamie wrote: "Ahem. With apologies to all music fans. To the tune of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds:

Warning: Contains the odd spoiler...

"Luci on a drive with James"

Pictures of herself at her best friend'..."
(Original post contained the clapping hands emoticons)

[Lu]

BloodMarked *No Spoilers*

(to the tune of Jack & Diane by John Mellencamp/John Cougar Mellencamp/John Cougar or whatever he was going by back in those days)

Little ditty 'bout a boy named Jaromir
Cursed to live for the last 800 years
Looking for the mark of a star
'Til it shows up, on Greta Brandt's arm

In a small town, Greta lives with her Mama
Jaromir checks in now and then
Keeps Greta out of the drama
Jaromir says Mama
Get her away from this place
Mama doesn't listen
Jaromir hopes he's not too late

Cuz Oh yeah, the Takers are in town
And some stuff's about to go down
Oh yeah, the Takers are in town
And Greta's life turns upside down
What's that sound?

[Jamie]

O.K. Now do 50 shades to the tune of "Hurts so Good."

I've never read it - but understand the song may be applicable.

Oh, and for an antipodian take on fifty...

https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=_WDrX...

[C.K.]

To the jingle My Bologna Has a First Name (with a dash of spoiler on the side):

My debut novel has a first name,
it's C-L-O-A-K.
My debut novel has a second name,
it's S-H-A-D-O-W-S.
Oh I love to write about it everyday.
And if you ask me why I'll say,
Cause Temple's hot, Abbey's full of snot, and Marcus Vaughn is M-I-A.

[Jessica]

I'm still in parody mode and have started thinking of songs for other books I have read. And BTW everyone we are still accepting submissions until July 11th. It doesn't have to be a full song. A couple of lines or even a jingle will do. The winner (as voted on by other members) will get a $20 gift card and their choice of three gifted ebook said from any author (and although I'll be entering my own parody, I won't be the winner. If I happen to get the most number of votes, the second-place winner will get the prize).

[Cleo]

I thought I posted this! Can't find it! So here goes.

Kieran the Pirate, by Cleo deLancey
parody to the tune of “Pop goes the World by Men Without Hats.
“ARRR” (went the Churl)
(sword fight sounds intro)
(spoken)
Me Hearties and Scallywags
Boys and Girls
“ARRR (went the Churl)
By Cleo the Brat.
(sung)
Kieran found a hat_
In a hiding place,
He figured he could scare
All the human race
Anybody have you heard?
“ARRR” (went the Churl)

Got an earring and great big shirt
That he had to tie up,
Cause it looked like a skirt!
Anyone have you heard?
“ARRR” (went the Churl)

Grandpa and Mum
Had to give him some help
Knew if they didn’t
That he just might yelp.
Every Pirates just got to yell
“ARRR” (went the Churl)

Kieran the pirate’s
Getting smart it seems.
He scared the baby
And made him scream
Pirate disappeared in a whirl,
“ARRR” (went the Churl)

And every time I wonder what I did right
I raise my cutlass and yell “ARRR” all night
Every time I wonder if they were wrong
I really was scary all along
Everybody now have you heard?
“ARRR” (goes the Churl)
(music fades...)

[Cleo]

Jamie wrote: "Ahem. With apologies to all music fans. To the tune of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds:

Warning: Contains the odd spoiler...

"Luci on a drive with James"

Pictures of herself at her best friend'..."

That was terrific Jamie. Good work! I enjoyed it a lot.

[Jamie]

Thanks Cleo. Here, men without hats are just called men.

[Jamie]

And Cleo I've just watched that song on YT. If I were wearing a hat it would be doffed in a 'well done' type of gesture.

[Cleo]

Mine would be purple ! Non-doffed. And Jamie, here in Canada we call men without hats, rednecks. Just kidding.

[Jamie]

Arrrrgh

[Phillip]

Raising Hell

Sung to the tune of Born to be Wild

Take your ogre's chainshaw
Tickle on his belly
Time to break the ashen rule:
"Hell is always hellish."
We're on the road to suffering
might as well make it fun.
Be kind to all our friends here.
We all get reamed in the end.

Since we're damned anyway
We have sworn
sworn to be kind.
We can be so kind
they don't want us around.
Sworn to be kind.
Kind all the time.

Okay, Cigerets has been much harder to do.

[Jamie]

For Cigrets I had "Turning Japanese" by The Vapours in my head. Something about being called Dodd - and the amended line 'I don't think so.'

And there's a line just screaming out to be turned into 'Texas Ranger.'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLQeb...

[Phillip]

Jamie wrote: "For Cigrets I had "Turning Japanese" by The Vapours in my head. Something about being called Dodd - and the amended line 'I don't think so.'

And there's a line just screaming out to be turned int..."

I remember the song well.

[Jessica]

Jamie wrote: "For Cigrets I had "Turning Japanese" by The Vapours in my head. Something about being called Dodd - and the amended line 'I don't think so.'

And there's a line just screaming out to be turned int..."

So cool. I had something going for Cigerets based on Juke Box Hero but couldn't get it to go right. I did a couple of others that I'll post later (I have the author's permission).

[Jessica]

One that I wrote and was approved by the author. It is based on Travel Glasses by Chess Desalls (to the tune of "Sunglasses at Night" by Cory Hart

I use the travel glasses sometimes
So I can, so I can
Watch her as she walks out by the lake
I use the travel glasses sometimes
So I can, so I can
Keep track of her though it ruins my eyes.

But she's deceiving me, and breaching security
Has she got control of me?
I turn to her and say:

Don't overuse the travel shades, oh no
Don't mess around with the travel shades, oh no
(You'll get in trouble)
You're gonna get caught with the travel shades, oh no.

She uses the travel glasses sometimes
So she can, so she can
Get away from me and forget about her pain
And she uses the the travel glasses sometimes
So she can, so she can
Visit Uncle Edgar in his time.

But she's deceiving me, and breaching security
She can't have control of me
I turn to her and say:

Don't overuse the travel shades, oh no
Don't mess around with the travel shades, oh no
(You can't save Edgar)
You're gonna get caught with the travel shades, oh no.

Now, she been deceiving me, I'm calling security
She can't have control of me
I turn to her and say:

You've overused the travel shades, oh no
You' messe around with the travel shades, oh no
(now you're in trouble)
Cuz You got caught with the travel shades, oh no
( you can't escape now)
Cuz You changed the past with the travel shades, oh no

[Jessica]

And now a three-in-one that wrote. Is is called "The YA Song" and it is sung to the tune of Mmmmmm by the Crash Test Dummies. The first verse describes The Eye-Dancers by Michael Fedison, the second describes Black Halo: The Witch and the Guardian by A.S. Aramiru and the third describes Johnny Nothing by Ian Probert:

Verse one:
Once, there was this kid who
Liked to tell exaggerated stories at his school
But when, he had this nightmare
His friends were all having the same dream
They said we need to get help from that nerdy kid, Marc.

Verse two:
Once, there was this girl who
Spent a lot of time shut up in a dirty locked room
And when they finally freed her
They said "she's an evil witch, we should get her!"
She couldn't quite explain why the Black Halo was just there....

The four boys, what a trip they had
The poor girl had a real bad dad...


Verse Three:
Once, there was this boy whose
Parents never bought him clothes or shoes to wear to school
And when his Uncle Marley died
He left little Johnny a fortune.
He couldn't quite why they needed to leave it there...

[Phillip]

So I wrote this parody of Talking Head's Burning Down the House for Cigerets, Guns & Beer.

Hold tight, the road we're on is bumpy
Wear hats, your head could get quite lumpy
Watch out or the bullets fly
Flushing out the rats.

One's the sheriff, one's the banker
Who just happens to be mayor
Got their hands in our pie.
See a stranger name is Dodd
Think he's got a line on their dough
Frame him then they dash for the road.

Night sky, UFOs are flying
Big scam, everybody's lying
Just one double cross away
Flushing out the rats.

[Jessica]

Phillip wrote: "So I wrote this parody of Talking Head's Burning Down the House for Cigerets, Guns & Beer.


Hold tight, the road we're on is bumpy
Wear hats, your head could get quite lumpy
Watch out or the bulle..."

I love it. For what it's worth, here's one that i started for Cigerets, but couldn't quite get it all the way through (to the tune of "Juke Box Hero")

Sitting in his car
With his fuel line blown
he needed a mechanic
There's was nowhere to go

Heard a row in the store, and he entered the scene
Put an end to the fight, and like a distant dream
He saw his younger self, and it blew him away
A poor punk kid, and the very day day

Signed some papers, in the city courthouse
Took the kid to his house, 'cause he new for sure
That poor punk kid, wouldn't last in the pen
It wouldn't take long, to understand
That the poor punk kid, would be a rough guy's B##
(here's where I got stuck)

So he started working, for Mal Rafferty
Yeah he started working, can't get no good coffee

He'll be a small town hero (take down the bad guys)
Yeah a small town hero (He's got a date tonight)

And...here's where I got stuck

[Phillip]

Jessica wrote: "Phillip wrote: "So I wrote this parody of Talking Head's Burning Down the House for Cigerets, Guns & Beer.


Hold tight, the road we're on is bumpy
Wear hats, your head could get quite lumpy
Watch ..."

Thanks, Jessica, I just gave up on the story and went with one of my favorite bands, even if they were a generation later than I was supposed to be following. (Still a big Who fan, but David Byrne rocks too. The Talking Heads movie with Johnathan Demme is a concert classic).