First Page of Your Book. discussion
Authors Post Your First Page Here!
From Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder by Natasha Holme:Sunday 30th July 1989, Germany
Bought chocolate and a Wimpy at the station, sat around for ages listening to my walkman. Arrived at the work camp 5:35pm-an old theatre in need of renovation. The large, jolly German leader, Claus, showed me around. Most people had already arrived.
Met Alex, the one other English girl. I like her. She's got a bit of class. For the evening meal we all had spaghetti and wine in the 'Taverna,' an underground room where we eat and relax. Talked a lot to a friendly bloke from Singapore, called Fred.
Claus produced a 'Getting to know each other' questionnaire, which we filled in and passed around. As the evening went on, I found my eyes repeatedly drifting over to where Alex was sitting. I was looking at her long, thick, curly, brown hair and I wondered how I hadn’t noticed it earlier. It struck me as hugely significant that we had both written 'Chinese' as our favourite food.
There are about fifteen of us here, of different nationalities. We all sleep together on camp beds in a very large room.
Tuesday 1st August 1989, Germany
Broke down walls in the morning with Fred and Alex, using an electric drill and a massive hammer.
Thursday 3rd August 1989, Germany
Swept up dust with Alex in the morning. I asked her lots of questions. She called it an "interrogation."
Hi Natasha
Thank you for posting your first page. I enjoyed reading it.
Writing a diary is always difficult because sometimes it is hard for the reader to engage the 'story'. The 'I' in a diary, of course, the author, and sometimes that leaves the reader on the outside looking in when many readers want to immerse themselves in an author's world.
That being said your first page did leave me curious about what was going to happen on the rest of the trip which is a good thing!
I think that even though it is a diary a little more description of what your surroundings are, who you are seeing, etc. would go a long way to contributing to that immersion I talked about earlier.
They don't need to be, and probably should not be, long descriptions or clothing inventories, but small and telling details that help define character and place.
The camp beds in the very large room. What were the walls like, peeling plaster? Were there lamps, bare hanging bulbs, windows?
Large jolly Clause, does he have a booming laugh or a twinkle in his eyes or is his shirt always wrinkled or always pressed?
Just one or two little details about everything would help us step into the narrator's shoes a little.
You have set up an interesting situation and indicated a relationship developing with Alex. And, of course, just from the title of the book I know there is a lot more to come.
Thanks for posting!
Diane
Thank you for posting your first page. I enjoyed reading it.
Writing a diary is always difficult because sometimes it is hard for the reader to engage the 'story'. The 'I' in a diary, of course, the author, and sometimes that leaves the reader on the outside looking in when many readers want to immerse themselves in an author's world.
That being said your first page did leave me curious about what was going to happen on the rest of the trip which is a good thing!
I think that even though it is a diary a little more description of what your surroundings are, who you are seeing, etc. would go a long way to contributing to that immersion I talked about earlier.
They don't need to be, and probably should not be, long descriptions or clothing inventories, but small and telling details that help define character and place.
The camp beds in the very large room. What were the walls like, peeling plaster? Were there lamps, bare hanging bulbs, windows?
Large jolly Clause, does he have a booming laugh or a twinkle in his eyes or is his shirt always wrinkled or always pressed?
Just one or two little details about everything would help us step into the narrator's shoes a little.
You have set up an interesting situation and indicated a relationship developing with Alex. And, of course, just from the title of the book I know there is a lot more to come.
Thanks for posting!
Diane
What exactly is the first page in an ebook? Does it differ from a paper book? I know I tend to read more of the front info in an ebook than I used to in a paperback. I started my book with a preface. Is that the first page? Or the introduction? I don't particularly like the 2 names, but didn't know what else to call them.
Preface
When Michelle Frost, the author of “First Light” asked for some horse expertise on her blog, I started thinking about all the questions I've been asked by authors over the years, what they don’t mention or get wrong about horses and farm life. It quickly evolved into this, not an in-depth reference, but an informal tour of what I know on the subject.
I won't hold back to save any sensitive feelings. Some of the stuff covered here is gross, explicit, and/or plain horrifying, but it's real life. I won't go out of my way to puff things up because I want authors to know REAL horses and farms.. Names, dates, and other facts have been changed to protect the innocent. I’m not Horace J. Ponii. I want to remain anonymous, so anyone who does guess who I am, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep it to yourself.
I was raised by a professional horsewoman, married one, and fathered a couple. My role has mostly been a support one. I was a professional remodeler for decades, raised on a farm, and own one. I’m pretty handy and have done most every kind of labor on a farm from shoveling manure to building custom barns and homes. I’ve been around horses the entire time, but I’m not an expert on horses, farms, or history. I'm not a professional writer, so you’re getting an off-the-cuff manuscript. Books have been written on everything I will mention briefly. When possible, I'll point out web sites and other sources for more information. I believe everything I wrote is factually correct or else I questioned it, but I won't make any guarantees.
We ride English which is pretty far removed from the typical Medieval fantasy world both in the equipment and the breeds or types of horses, but you’ll get a glimpse into how big a part they play in our lives and find some material or ideas for your story.
Rick Gore’s Horse page (who kindly let me use a few of his pictures) is a one stop shop for horse anatomy including markings and such. Toward the bottom, he has diagrams showing their teeth, field of vision, and more. He has multiple drawings and captions, so you can compare the same area and get different names for the same piece or see what the subtle differences are. It seems that every square inch of a horse is named and most of them are rather odd. Bookmark it and refer to it occasionally as it will help.
Preface
When Michelle Frost, the author of “First Light” asked for some horse expertise on her blog, I started thinking about all the questions I've been asked by authors over the years, what they don’t mention or get wrong about horses and farm life. It quickly evolved into this, not an in-depth reference, but an informal tour of what I know on the subject.
I won't hold back to save any sensitive feelings. Some of the stuff covered here is gross, explicit, and/or plain horrifying, but it's real life. I won't go out of my way to puff things up because I want authors to know REAL horses and farms.. Names, dates, and other facts have been changed to protect the innocent. I’m not Horace J. Ponii. I want to remain anonymous, so anyone who does guess who I am, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep it to yourself.
I was raised by a professional horsewoman, married one, and fathered a couple. My role has mostly been a support one. I was a professional remodeler for decades, raised on a farm, and own one. I’m pretty handy and have done most every kind of labor on a farm from shoveling manure to building custom barns and homes. I’ve been around horses the entire time, but I’m not an expert on horses, farms, or history. I'm not a professional writer, so you’re getting an off-the-cuff manuscript. Books have been written on everything I will mention briefly. When possible, I'll point out web sites and other sources for more information. I believe everything I wrote is factually correct or else I questioned it, but I won't make any guarantees.
We ride English which is pretty far removed from the typical Medieval fantasy world both in the equipment and the breeds or types of horses, but you’ll get a glimpse into how big a part they play in our lives and find some material or ideas for your story.
Rick Gore’s Horse page (who kindly let me use a few of his pictures) is a one stop shop for horse anatomy including markings and such. Toward the bottom, he has diagrams showing their teeth, field of vision, and more. He has multiple drawings and captions, so you can compare the same area and get different names for the same piece or see what the subtle differences are. It seems that every square inch of a horse is named and most of them are rather odd. Bookmark it and refer to it occasionally as it will help.
Diane wrote: "What were the walls like, peeling plaster? Were there lamps, bare hanging bulbs, windows?Large jolly Clause, does he have a booming laugh or a twinkle in his eyes or is his shirt always wrinkled or always pressed? ..."
Hi Diane,
Many thanks for your feedback. It was interesting to read and you make great points. The fact is, unfortunately, that I don't know. I'm publishing my actual diary (though very much edited) from over twenty years ago and those details are well and truly lost in time!
Natasha
Hi Diane,Thank you for moderating this page... what a find! Below is the first page of my contemporary suspense novel, Purple Shadows. Appreciate your feedback!
Kris
Prologue
The blustery draft chased her up the concrete stairwell and twisted around her as she fiddled with the damned key. Already beyond frustrated, Megyn just couldn’t take one more setback and was tempted to chuck her keys back down the stairs, but was finally able to unlock her dorm room. She heaved her overloaded backpack into the room and deposited it unceremoniously on her desk before running into the adjoining room. Diving onto her bed, she screamed “He’s a freaking slave driver!” and started punching her pillow.
“Bad day, Megs?” Alison, her roommate walked out of their shared bathroom still brushing her teeth and took in the scene with a quizzical smirk on her face. This was totally out of character. Megyn was hardly a dramatic, overtly demonstrative person. In the four years they’d known each other, she’d never witnessed any sort of outburst of this magnitude from her normally reserved friend.
Megyn looked up, shocked to find that she wasn’t alone and embarrassed that Alison had witnessed her meltdown. Sitting up, she hugged her pillow and though she struggled to contain her emotions, a renegade tear escaped and paved a hot trail down her cheek.
“Sorry you saw that, Al.” She wiped the tear away with the back of her hand. “I just had a meeting with a graduate TA. Why the department decided to reassign me to the visiting history professor last month was just plain sadistic, but I can’t even score a meeting with Van Balen himself, only one of his TA groupies. Apparently, Mr. High-and-Mighty reviewed my thesis and had his henchman tell me that it was basically worthless. It was brutal!”
Despite her efforts, the floodgates broke and bitter tears started pouring down Megyn’s face. “I’ve been working my ass off on this paper for over two years and it was solid as-is! My first thesis advisor told me as much. New hot-shot professor comes in, rips it apart and can’t even tell me to my face. He doesn’t even bother to give me any guidance or constructive criticism. It’s almost as if he thinks my entire topic is irrelevant. Alison, my thesis is due right after spring break. That’s only a few months away. What the hell does he expect me to do? Torch it and start over?”
Alison handed her a tissue and crouched down in front of her. “No way! You’re the smartest person I know at UVA. I don’t know anyone else who has a 4.0 GPA! You’ve worked really hard on your thesis and it’s in great shape. You know it. The whole history department knows it. Even Harvard knows it and they’re eating out of your hand trying to lure you into their graduate program next fall.”
Megyn rolled her eyes, clearly not swayed by her friend’s obviously biased support. “Al, if I bomb my thesis, I won’t be able to graduate in the spring with Highest Distinction. Harvard isn’t known for slumming with sub-par students. I can just kiss that pipe dream goodbye.”
Chapter 1 – Brain AttackNo one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. ~Euripides
A flaming sword slashed into my left temple. I thought, Wow! Where did that come from? If this pain doesn’t stop, I don’t know if I’ll be able to serve on a jury. As soon as I had completed the thought there was only blackness – no more thoughts, no feelings, just nothingness. My body jerked and writhed in grand mal seizures caused by blood flowing into the space between my skull and my brain as the result of a ruptured cerebral aneurysm.
Serendipity and synchronicity were at work that morning. The lady sitting next to me was a nurse. She immediately started caring for me and yelled, “Somebody call 9-1-1!”
It wasn’t the first miracle in my life. My congenital aneurysm could have ruptured on any given day. I had twice given birth, but the strain of labor and delivery hadn’t caused it to pop. The jolting car wreck I was in years before left my neck stiff and sore, but didn’t cause my brain to bleed. It was a miracle that I was summoned for jury duty that day because it meant I had to be in downtown St. Charles early in the morning. Afraid of being late for the court appearance I arrived quite early, so I was sitting on a bench instead of driving my car when the rupture occurred. If I’d been following my usual Monday routine, I would have been driving in traffic on Interstate 70. I might have caused a huge wreck, taking innocent lives in the process. I don’t think it was a coincidence that I was sitting at the courthouse just a few blocks away from St. Joseph’s Hospital when the rupture occurred. An invisible protector was watching over me. If I had to have a brain attack, I was certainly in a fortuitous place to have it.
There is no memory of the ambulance ride. Was it there or in the ER where I was assaulted by bright lights while medical professionals shared information about my condition in staccato bursts of medical-speak? Most of what I heard I could not grasp. The words “…get her stabilized,” invaded my awareness, prompting me to fight harder, trying to wake up. Then it was back to the blackness. For how long, I don’t know.
Somewhere in that void my brain managed another thought. It may have been a prayer or a bargain with God; I know you did not bless me with a grandbaby just to take my life. I know you want me to stay around to help raise her. My first grandchild had been born mid-June and I wasn’t ready to leave her behind just yet. As soon as the thought processed through my brain, I experienced ultimate bliss. All was right in the world. In that nanosecond of enlightenment I knew that the human spirit survives the death of the physical body and I understood that my wandering soul needed to get back into its earthly habitat. With the force of a downed fighter plane barreling into the earth, my mind, body and spirit reconnected with a startling and violent crash and I returned to the serene void that had become my safe haven.
Link to my Goodreads page for NORMAL: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16...
Dangerous Shift by Jill JamesPrologue
Fort San Laura Army Base
San Laura, California
May 2017
Sean Evans turned away as tears rolled down his ex-partner Colin Rodriguez’s face. The man sat by his fiancée’s bedside, her hand clasped in his, waiting for her to die. The sound of boot heels echoed up and down the hospital corridor. All marched past the closed door, none brave enough to stop at this room.
Sean stared at the dying woman. Paulette’s red hair was the only color in the monochrome-toned hospital room. Colin’s hand shook as he brushed the hair back from Paulette’s sweaty face. The virus wreaked havoc on the young woman.
Sean swallowed bile rising in his throat as the young Shapeshifter in the bed screamed. Her flesh boiled, roiling beneath the surface, and she screamed again. Her back arched off the bed. For months now, the Shapeshifter Task Force had been working to track down the cause of the virus and it struck close to home, killing two of their own. First, his own partner, Barry, and now, Paulette.
Her fingers turned into talons that dug into Colin’s hand. Blood dripped from the cuts onto the crisp, white sheet. Colin held her hand; the only sign of his pain was the grimace on his tanned face.
Sean rubbed his burning eyes, surprised to find tears on his own cheeks. He scrubbed the wetness away and raked his fingers through his hair. His tears wouldn’t help Paulette or Colin. Nothing could help them now.
His hands clenched into fists at his side. He ached to punch a wall, anything to kill the tension in the room.
A scream built in his throat. Just last week he had sat here, forced to watch the young man, new to the task force, breathe his last. He stared into the ceiling lights, his eyes watered with the brightness.
He repeated his personal mantra of calm and cool until his emotions mellowed, until they no longer threatened to overwhelm him.
Hello everyone!
So excited to see someone else here! Can't wait to read your pages AND please everyone let's hear what you have to say about the other pages here!
Thanks again!
Diane
So excited to see someone else here! Can't wait to read your pages AND please everyone let's hear what you have to say about the other pages here!
Thanks again!
Diane
Horace wrote: "What exactly is the first page in an ebook?
Hi Horace
Thanks for posting your page. It's interesting that you're writing a book that authors may use to reference if they are writing about farm life. I think that's a great idea!
I grew up around farms (grandparents, aunts, uncles) but did not live full time on one until more recently, 1999 - 2009. But I was just renting a house there and looking after the farmer's critters when he went to the rodeo for the weekend.
I like the way you talked about not candy coating anything, about how working with horses, or any animals, can be gross and horrifying, it isn't all shiny coated stallions prancing through wild flowers.
I think, for someone who says they're not a professional writer, that you've done a pretty decent job.
I think that for the rest of the book you might look at using some bullet points which are easy ways for readers to quickly capture information.
I think you have a nice breezy way with words, a natural gift of the gab that should bode well for your book. I think the idea of the book, if I have it correct, is an excellent one!
I live in a rural area still, with many ranches and farms in the area. I wish urban dwellers had a better sense of where their food comes from, I wish they would choose the small, local operator, as many in this area do, to avoid the factory farming practices that are cruel to livestock (don't get me started on pig crates!) and unhealthy to people (witness the largest beef recall in history happening right now in Canada, where I live).
I would like to know when your book comes out and would also like to make one final suggestion.
You mentioned it being 'off the cuff'. That is great, but, I think you still need a proofreader. It doesn't need to cost you anything, just a second pair of eyes, someone in your family maybe, to give it a glance.
I did this with my sister, she's a professional but that's not the point, what she pointed out to me would have been pointed out by anybody who read my book. Sometimes we see what we think we should see and not what is really there.
Thanks for posting Horace! Best of luck!
Diane
Hi Horace
Thanks for posting your page. It's interesting that you're writing a book that authors may use to reference if they are writing about farm life. I think that's a great idea!
I grew up around farms (grandparents, aunts, uncles) but did not live full time on one until more recently, 1999 - 2009. But I was just renting a house there and looking after the farmer's critters when he went to the rodeo for the weekend.
I like the way you talked about not candy coating anything, about how working with horses, or any animals, can be gross and horrifying, it isn't all shiny coated stallions prancing through wild flowers.
I think, for someone who says they're not a professional writer, that you've done a pretty decent job.
I think that for the rest of the book you might look at using some bullet points which are easy ways for readers to quickly capture information.
I think you have a nice breezy way with words, a natural gift of the gab that should bode well for your book. I think the idea of the book, if I have it correct, is an excellent one!
I live in a rural area still, with many ranches and farms in the area. I wish urban dwellers had a better sense of where their food comes from, I wish they would choose the small, local operator, as many in this area do, to avoid the factory farming practices that are cruel to livestock (don't get me started on pig crates!) and unhealthy to people (witness the largest beef recall in history happening right now in Canada, where I live).
I would like to know when your book comes out and would also like to make one final suggestion.
You mentioned it being 'off the cuff'. That is great, but, I think you still need a proofreader. It doesn't need to cost you anything, just a second pair of eyes, someone in your family maybe, to give it a glance.
I did this with my sister, she's a professional but that's not the point, what she pointed out to me would have been pointed out by anybody who read my book. Sometimes we see what we think we should see and not what is really there.
Thanks for posting Horace! Best of luck!
Diane
Natasha wrote: "Diane wrote: "What were the walls like, peeling plaster? Were there lamps, bare hanging bulbs, windows?
Large jolly Clause, does he have a booming laugh or a twinkle in his eyes or is his shirt alw..."
Hey Natasha, although it is a diary you could still embellish it with little details, just don't sweat over them too much and cause a stall in your momentum. I would suggest just looking to your mind's eye when you're writing and see what images come into your mind. They might be accurate, they might not be, that's not the point. What happened to you is the point. The extra description will just make it easier for the reader to experience that with you.
Best of luck and thanks for posting!
Diane
Large jolly Clause, does he have a booming laugh or a twinkle in his eyes or is his shirt alw..."
Hey Natasha, although it is a diary you could still embellish it with little details, just don't sweat over them too much and cause a stall in your momentum. I would suggest just looking to your mind's eye when you're writing and see what images come into your mind. They might be accurate, they might not be, that's not the point. What happened to you is the point. The extra description will just make it easier for the reader to experience that with you.
Best of luck and thanks for posting!
Diane
So, here is my own first page of 'Spectral Witness' my paranormal suspense thriller'. I'd like to know what you think. Thanks! Diane
------
“God’s hand painted Glass Lake.” Arthur Black, London, England.
'I could drown her.'
“Glass Lake is the most beautiful place on Earth.” Millie Augustine, New York, New York.
'It would be easy.'
“I’ve never seen the mountains before. The Grey Lady looks alive.” Angel Sanchez, 12, Mexico City, Mexico.
‘She’s weak.’
August 9, 1985 would turn out to be the hottest day of the year, the day a young mind on fire would try to put out the flames using the waters of Glass Lake.
The high mountain lake in the Alberta Rockies east of Banff was renowned as a pristine and perfect arrangement of nature that no architect or painter or designer could have imagined: arms of grey granite encircled the lake and the great north peak was tilted over the shoulder of the mountain, like a mother looking down on the babe in her arms, giving rise to the name The Grey Lady. The Grey Lady held Glass Lake. The name the Hallstrom family gave to the lake they owned caused consternation among some of the early settlers in Mountainview, the town on the plateau below Glass Lake. The name had nothing to do with a
------
“God’s hand painted Glass Lake.” Arthur Black, London, England.
'I could drown her.'
“Glass Lake is the most beautiful place on Earth.” Millie Augustine, New York, New York.
'It would be easy.'
“I’ve never seen the mountains before. The Grey Lady looks alive.” Angel Sanchez, 12, Mexico City, Mexico.
‘She’s weak.’
August 9, 1985 would turn out to be the hottest day of the year, the day a young mind on fire would try to put out the flames using the waters of Glass Lake.
The high mountain lake in the Alberta Rockies east of Banff was renowned as a pristine and perfect arrangement of nature that no architect or painter or designer could have imagined: arms of grey granite encircled the lake and the great north peak was tilted over the shoulder of the mountain, like a mother looking down on the babe in her arms, giving rise to the name The Grey Lady. The Grey Lady held Glass Lake. The name the Hallstrom family gave to the lake they owned caused consternation among some of the early settlers in Mountainview, the town on the plateau below Glass Lake. The name had nothing to do with a
Kris wrote: "Hi Diane,
Thank you for moderating this page... what a find! Below is the first page of my contemporary suspense novel, Purple Shadows. Appreciate your feedback!
Kris
Prologue
The bluster..."
Hi Kris, thanks so much for joining and sharing your first page here!
I like the fact that you have put Megyn in the midst of crisis from the first page. I like a story to get underway quickly. I think a good first page does that.
So, we know Megyn has got a problem, a big one. She's been working on her thesis for almost two years and this new megalomaniac prof may expect her to start all over again.
I'd like to know, even on the first page, unless there's a reason for not revealing it, what her thesis is about. Of course, this is the problem with only looking at a first page, that info may be on the second page!
Something I would like is a little more description, particularly with Megyn and Allison. I don't believe in going into huge description of people because I think it blunts the readers engagement and prevents them from forming their OWN unique picture of a character.
But, just a little bit of description. Do Megs and Al look like each other, do they have the same style? Is one a slob and one fastidious? Is one wearing a wrinkled shirt whereas the other would die before being caught out in public like that.
Stephen King's amazing book 'On Writing' had great suggestions on description and he said something like, "If I describe a high school girl as 'a slump shouldered, sad-eyed fashion victim' that pretty much does it." I agree with him. We need SOMETHING, even just a phrase to describe Megs and Al so that we can form a picture of them in our mind.
I was also surprised at the word 'shocked' when Megyn discovers she isn't alone. Why would she be 'shocked'? She has a roommate who could be home. I know, I've had roommates haha, sometimes they are home at the most inopportune moments:).
Your first page has succeeded on several fronts. It's made me curious about what Megyn's thesis is about. I'm wondering about Van Balen (like that name! I picture him with a goatee haha) and how nasty he might become. Megyn is dreaming of getting into Harvard and now that dream, after all of her incredible hard work, is in jeopardy. That's a very good thing from a story telling point! There must be something at stake for story to work.
I think you're off to a great start, Kris. I hope my feedback was of some use.
Thanks again for posting.
Diane
One thing I'd like to know, even on the first page, is what is her thesis subject?
Thank you for moderating this page... what a find! Below is the first page of my contemporary suspense novel, Purple Shadows. Appreciate your feedback!
Kris
Prologue
The bluster..."
Hi Kris, thanks so much for joining and sharing your first page here!
I like the fact that you have put Megyn in the midst of crisis from the first page. I like a story to get underway quickly. I think a good first page does that.
So, we know Megyn has got a problem, a big one. She's been working on her thesis for almost two years and this new megalomaniac prof may expect her to start all over again.
I'd like to know, even on the first page, unless there's a reason for not revealing it, what her thesis is about. Of course, this is the problem with only looking at a first page, that info may be on the second page!
Something I would like is a little more description, particularly with Megyn and Allison. I don't believe in going into huge description of people because I think it blunts the readers engagement and prevents them from forming their OWN unique picture of a character.
But, just a little bit of description. Do Megs and Al look like each other, do they have the same style? Is one a slob and one fastidious? Is one wearing a wrinkled shirt whereas the other would die before being caught out in public like that.
Stephen King's amazing book 'On Writing' had great suggestions on description and he said something like, "If I describe a high school girl as 'a slump shouldered, sad-eyed fashion victim' that pretty much does it." I agree with him. We need SOMETHING, even just a phrase to describe Megs and Al so that we can form a picture of them in our mind.
I was also surprised at the word 'shocked' when Megyn discovers she isn't alone. Why would she be 'shocked'? She has a roommate who could be home. I know, I've had roommates haha, sometimes they are home at the most inopportune moments:).
Your first page has succeeded on several fronts. It's made me curious about what Megyn's thesis is about. I'm wondering about Van Balen (like that name! I picture him with a goatee haha) and how nasty he might become. Megyn is dreaming of getting into Harvard and now that dream, after all of her incredible hard work, is in jeopardy. That's a very good thing from a story telling point! There must be something at stake for story to work.
I think you're off to a great start, Kris. I hope my feedback was of some use.
Thanks again for posting.
Diane
One thing I'd like to know, even on the first page, is what is her thesis subject?
Thanks, Diane! Appreciate your thoughts. I get into the thick of Megyn's thesis in the 1st chapter, but I agree that it may help the reader to hint at her subject (central to the entire plot-line). Also, will soften her "shock" and offer hints as to the girls character. Yes, I wanted to start the action fast, but offering a few mini-descriptions may help the reader get absorbed in the story.Quick question- are you inviting all group participants to comment on authors' first pages??? Would love to share news of this group on Twitter...
Thanks!
Kris
Hi Kris, thanks for the comments. I figured you would be getting into Megyn's thesis fairly quickly. I hope my feedback was helpful, I would like to see more opinions than my own here though!
On that note, yes, I am inviting anyone who would like to comment and please do share this on Twitter!
Thanks for again for participating!
Diane
On that note, yes, I am inviting anyone who would like to comment and please do share this on Twitter!
Thanks for again for participating!
Diane
Kris wrote: "Thanks, Diane! Appreciate your thoughts. I get into the thick of Megyn's thesis in the 1st chapter, but I agree that it may help the reader to hint at her subject (central to the entire plot-line..."
Kris, also forgot to say that I would like all the writers who have posted here to comment on one other writer's work. I added it as a rule, I should have thought of it before, but creating these groups can sometimes be a steep learning curve:)
Thanks!
Diane
Kris, also forgot to say that I would like all the writers who have posted here to comment on one other writer's work. I added it as a rule, I should have thought of it before, but creating these groups can sometimes be a steep learning curve:)
Thanks!
Diane
Janet wrote: "Chapter 1 – Brain Attack
No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. ~Euripidest,
Hello Janet, what a great quote to start with. That stops the reader in their tracks. I love that you started with that quote. I think about death a lot, I'm not obsessed with it, it is just a result of working in health care. Patients die each week and some die unexpectedly and much too young. I value every day I'm here.
Serendipity indeed! As you so eloquently expressed, you had someone watching over you, and over everyone on that interstate that morning.
This kind of personal memoir is something with which I am not familiar writing so I don't know how helpful my feedback will be. I do have one suggestion which is to write the attack itself as it happened strictly from your point of view which is how you start.
So, you could start, as you have, with your own thoughts about the searing pain you were experiencing, then the blackness, then the ER (since there is no memory of the ambulance ride) in the snippets you heard...a description that might go something like this:
(Your line about the sword, the thought about the jury then continuing in your own first person point of view with Dark - glaring light - 'get her stabilized' - blackness - God? I know you did not bless me with a grandchild just to take my life, I can't go yet." Bliss, everything will be okay...
And then going to 'with the force of a downed fighter plane...etc., a line I really liked by the way, into the fact of the aneurysm, that you were sitting beside a nurse, that you were not on the freeway when it happened.
That's my only suggestion really, that you stay with your own personal first person experience up to the point where your mind, body and soul come crashing back. Then go into the details as I said above.
I don't know if that will make any sense at all to you, perhaps not.
Your story sounds fascinating. I looked at your book and marked it as a 'to read'. I love the cover as well and see you have already garnered tremendous reviews for this deeply personal story.
Thank you for sharing this Janet. Can't wait to read it.
Cheers
Diane
ps: Would you please also review someone else's post here, it's a new rule I added just so mine would not be the only feedback voice here. Thank you so much!
No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. ~Euripidest,
Hello Janet, what a great quote to start with. That stops the reader in their tracks. I love that you started with that quote. I think about death a lot, I'm not obsessed with it, it is just a result of working in health care. Patients die each week and some die unexpectedly and much too young. I value every day I'm here.
Serendipity indeed! As you so eloquently expressed, you had someone watching over you, and over everyone on that interstate that morning.
This kind of personal memoir is something with which I am not familiar writing so I don't know how helpful my feedback will be. I do have one suggestion which is to write the attack itself as it happened strictly from your point of view which is how you start.
So, you could start, as you have, with your own thoughts about the searing pain you were experiencing, then the blackness, then the ER (since there is no memory of the ambulance ride) in the snippets you heard...a description that might go something like this:
(Your line about the sword, the thought about the jury then continuing in your own first person point of view with Dark - glaring light - 'get her stabilized' - blackness - God? I know you did not bless me with a grandchild just to take my life, I can't go yet." Bliss, everything will be okay...
And then going to 'with the force of a downed fighter plane...etc., a line I really liked by the way, into the fact of the aneurysm, that you were sitting beside a nurse, that you were not on the freeway when it happened.
That's my only suggestion really, that you stay with your own personal first person experience up to the point where your mind, body and soul come crashing back. Then go into the details as I said above.
I don't know if that will make any sense at all to you, perhaps not.
Your story sounds fascinating. I looked at your book and marked it as a 'to read'. I love the cover as well and see you have already garnered tremendous reviews for this deeply personal story.
Thank you for sharing this Janet. Can't wait to read it.
Cheers
Diane
ps: Would you please also review someone else's post here, it's a new rule I added just so mine would not be the only feedback voice here. Thank you so much!
Horace wrote: "What exactly is the first page in an ebook? Does it differ from a paper book? I know I tend to read more of the front info in an ebook than I used to in a paperback. I started my book with a pre..."Horace, I really liked that you're writing a reference book from a first person point of view... it's unique and feels as if I'm in for a one-on-one equine education. Quite engaging.
Kris
Jill wrote: "Dangerous Shift by Jill James
h..."
Hi Jill! Thanks for posting.
First of all, your story is obviously about high stakes. I'm curious about the rest of the story, which is a good sign! The story starts right from the beginning, with high drama, and I always like that.
I already like Sean, that he is there to support his friend through this terrible ordeal speaks to his character.
I really don't have too much to say about this page, which I think is a good thing.
I'd like to know what Sean's personal mantra is, I'd like to hear the words in his head. And a name for the young man, new to the task force, who died the week before. I can't remember who said 'always name your characters'. Names can evoke a lot of emotions in people, different ones, and it's an easy thing to do so I would give the poor guy a name.
I think it's a great first page. I think all of these first pages have been really great. This one also makes me want to know more about the story. The fact you have set a task certainly is a good thing as well, there is a named enemy here: the virus.
There isn't much for me to offer Jill except the above tiny suggestions. Well done!
Thanks for participating! Please tell other writers you know about his page and please remember to comment on someone else's page here.
Thanks!
Diane
h..."
Hi Jill! Thanks for posting.
First of all, your story is obviously about high stakes. I'm curious about the rest of the story, which is a good sign! The story starts right from the beginning, with high drama, and I always like that.
I already like Sean, that he is there to support his friend through this terrible ordeal speaks to his character.
I really don't have too much to say about this page, which I think is a good thing.
I'd like to know what Sean's personal mantra is, I'd like to hear the words in his head. And a name for the young man, new to the task force, who died the week before. I can't remember who said 'always name your characters'. Names can evoke a lot of emotions in people, different ones, and it's an easy thing to do so I would give the poor guy a name.
I think it's a great first page. I think all of these first pages have been really great. This one also makes me want to know more about the story. The fact you have set a task certainly is a good thing as well, there is a named enemy here: the virus.
There isn't much for me to offer Jill except the above tiny suggestions. Well done!
Thanks for participating! Please tell other writers you know about his page and please remember to comment on someone else's page here.
Thanks!
Diane
Janet wrote: "Chapter 1 – Brain AttackNo one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow. ~Euripides
A flaming sword slashed into my left temple. I thought, Wow! Where did that come from? If th..."
That first paragraph is confusing, Janet. There is blackness - no thought, no feelings, nothing. Then you procede to tell us a bunch of stuff that it appears she is feeling, thinking and knowing.
But after that. Wow!!! What an amazing first page. As a reader I would definitely keep reading.
Diane wrote: "So, here is my own first page of 'Spectral Witness' my paranormal suspense thriller'. I'd like to know what you think. Thanks! Diane------
“God’s hand painted Glass Lake.” Arthur Black, London, E..."
Hi Diane,
This is a captivating beginning! The tension is heavy by your second line! As a reader, I'd like to get some hint of the voice... young/old, male/female but perhaps holding those questions keeps me reading to find out more. I imagine the voice to be calm and calculated. It draws me in. The prose that follows is beautiful written, but as a reader, I want to hear more of the voice you've introduced to me... it only took 10 words! I would definitely keep reading. Great start!
Kris
Natasha wrote: "From Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder by Natasha Holme:Sunday 30th July 1989, Germany
Bought chocolate and a Wimpy at the station, sat around for ages lis..."
What Diane sugggests about adding descriptive information about your surroundings and background on your companions is certainly possible to incorporate into your diary format. I would suggest opening each chapter with several verbatim posts from your diary followed by narrative paragraphs that flesh out the story with the emotions they invoke for you now as you reflect on that part of your life.
The diary entries you share here chronicle the events of each day and the name the people with whom you shared your time. This does draw me, as a reader, into your story. However, to keep my interest as you move forward you would need to give me more insight into why you are sharing these events with the world.
Natasha wrote: "From Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder by Natasha Holme:Sunday 30th July 1989, Germany
Bought chocolate and a Wimpy at the station, sat around for ages lis..."
Natasha,
I would agree with Diane's & Janet's comments. I'd also like to get an idea of why you are in Germany, how old are you during this experience, etc. It would give me a frame of reference for understanding your narrative.
Interesting topic and really "edgy" title!
Kris
Diane wrote: "Horace wrote: "What exactly is the first page in an ebook?
..."
Diane, I appreciate your thoughts. They're good ones. Unfortunately, I found out many of them since I wrote that preface & the book went live. I did get it proof read & edited. I went through several revisions while it was live. Dumb, but it was really was off-the-cuff. Not so much any more, but I hope & believe it still retains that quality in the writing which is why I avoided bullet points. They don't really fit with the style I was after, but you're the second to make the suggestion. I don't see how or where they'd fit all that well because animals are like people, they're not definite, just probabilities.
I'd really appreciate anyone's feedback on the naming of the first two sections. Originally, I had an Introduction only. What I'm now calling the Preface was included. I broke it out to make the flow more even, but isn't it kind of weird to have both a preface & an introduction? Both are 'about this book' sections, but different aspects.
Previews are available both on Smashwords & here on GR, although the epub version here on GR goofed the chapters up. You can find it here:
Horses and Farms For Fantasy Writers
This is free until November 14th with coupon code KQ48S on Smashwords.
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/...
I'm not into making money on this, just want to make my fantasy reading better & that means it needs to get out there to authors.
..."
Diane, I appreciate your thoughts. They're good ones. Unfortunately, I found out many of them since I wrote that preface & the book went live. I did get it proof read & edited. I went through several revisions while it was live. Dumb, but it was really was off-the-cuff. Not so much any more, but I hope & believe it still retains that quality in the writing which is why I avoided bullet points. They don't really fit with the style I was after, but you're the second to make the suggestion. I don't see how or where they'd fit all that well because animals are like people, they're not definite, just probabilities.
I'd really appreciate anyone's feedback on the naming of the first two sections. Originally, I had an Introduction only. What I'm now calling the Preface was included. I broke it out to make the flow more even, but isn't it kind of weird to have both a preface & an introduction? Both are 'about this book' sections, but different aspects.
Previews are available both on Smashwords & here on GR, although the epub version here on GR goofed the chapters up. You can find it here:
Horses and Farms For Fantasy Writers
This is free until November 14th with coupon code KQ48S on Smashwords.
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/...
I'm not into making money on this, just want to make my fantasy reading better & that means it needs to get out there to authors.
Kris wrote: "Horace wrote: "What exactly is the first page in anHorace, I really liked that you're writing a reference book from a first person point of view... it's unique and feels as if I'm in for a one-on-one equine education. Quite engaging.
Kris"
Thank you. I hope you enjoy it. Note that it is free right now. A review would be greatly appreciated as would any personal thoughts.
Kris"
Thank you. I hope you enjoy it. Note that it is free right now. A review would be greatly appreciated as would any personal thoughts.
Jill wrote: "Dangerous Shift by Jill JamesPrologue
Fort San Laura Army Base
San Laura, California
May 2017
Sean Evans turned away as tears rolled down his ex-partner Colin Rodriguez’s face. The man sat by h..."
Generally speaking, I like your first page, but I believe you can strengthen it.
"The sound of boot heels echoed up and down the hospital corridor. All marched past the closed door, none brave enough to stop at this room." - If you opened the first paragraph with these sentences it would ramp up the tension by making your reader immediately anxious about what's going on in the room that those boot-wearing folks (whom I assume are police are military) are afraid to encounter.
Quite honestly, it took me a couple of passes to figure out the who's who of your characters in the opening paragraph. You give us two men's names in the first sentence and the information that they are former partners, then start the second sentence with
"The man sat by..." Which man? Partners in what? Are they combat buddies? Life partners? Oh, probably not the latter since the woman in the hospital bed is engaged to marry one of them.
Overall, your first page drew me in and made some promises about the book (always a strength in my opinion). You let me know that some deadly virus is rampant and that it changes it's victims into monsters, so I antiticpate a zombie story to follow.
However, this sentence stopped the flow for me: "The virus wreaked havoc on the young woman." It has the feel of cliche and, as a result, lowered my expectations from "woohooo..a zombie book" to "oh, another zombie story." Play with the wording and see if you can find a different, more gruesomely descriptive way to relate the nasty effects of the virus on the woman.
Janet, thanks for the comments. Not a zombie book, that is the next one I'm working on. On the next page the poor woman melts into a puddle of goo. Although the virus is vicious this is a romance so I try not to be too gory.
Horace wrote: "Diane wrote: "Horace wrote: "What exactly is the "
Hi Horace - got it! I'm really looking forward to reading it and will review and rate for you! I know how hard it is for authors to get that!
I think it's a fantastic idea:)
Cheers
Diane
Hi Horace - got it! I'm really looking forward to reading it and will review and rate for you! I know how hard it is for authors to get that!
I think it's a fantastic idea:)
Cheers
Diane
Kris wrote: "Diane wrote: "So, here is my own first page of 'Spectral Witness' my paranormal suspense thriller'. I'd like to know what you think. Thanks! Diane
------
“God’s hand painted Glass Lake.” Arthur Bl..."
Hi Kris, thanks so much for your comments. I appreciate them. I understand what you mean about the voice. It's revealed in the next paragraph haha. Figures the first page would cut off there:).
Thanks again!
Diane
------
“God’s hand painted Glass Lake.” Arthur Bl..."
Hi Kris, thanks so much for your comments. I appreciate them. I understand what you mean about the voice. It's revealed in the next paragraph haha. Figures the first page would cut off there:).
Thanks again!
Diane
Hello, my name is Rustin. I found the link to this group on another page and thought it was really interesting. I really like getting feedback on my writing so I thought I would give it a try. This is the first page of my self-published novella Cat's Paw. It's a dark/paranormal fantasy. I'd like to know what people think of it.Thanks.
Tragedy. It’s a small word, but it has big meaning. I could see the effects of that in the summer of 2001. It spread through my little neighborhood like a plague, infecting. Contaminating. The truly bad part, the absolute worst part, was that it also created other emotions. Sometimes devastating emotions. Hysteria. Panic. Fear. Depression. Sadness. I was fifteen then. Fifteen and nothing in the world to worry about. Good, loving parents. A safe and stable home. I thought I lived in a bubble and one where nothing truly bad ever happened.
The summer of 2001 changed all that. It popped that bubble in one cruel stroke.
In the summer of 2001, Vicki Campbell was murdered.
***
I was sitting on the couch with my dad one late morning. It was Saturday and breakfast was still digesting in our stomachs. We were watching the news. My dad had an intent look in his eyes as he watched the various stories. Normally I would’ve been up in my room, watching my own TV or playing some video games. Hell, maybe even reading a book. I’d been known to read a book or two. That morning, though, there was nothing I would’ve rather been doing than sitting in front of the TV with my dad and watching the news.
“There is still no sign of young Vicki Campbell.” The reporter was saying. She was very pretty, that woman. She had short blonde hair, bright blue eyes and a set of full lips I’d fantasized exploring with my own at least a dozen times. “Ten year old Vicki Campbell disappeared from her backyard two days ago. There has been no sign and no clues as to her current whereabouts. Police Chief Bill Yearling had this to say.”
The picture switched to the police chief. He was on old man, his face seamed with wrinkles and lines but there was still a sharp intelligence lurking in his eyes, despite how tired and worn out they looked. He addressed the camera, his eyes seeming to punch out at me from the TV.
“If anyone has seen Vicki.” He paused so he could hold up a current picture of the girl. I focused on that picture, although I didn’t need to. I’d seen Vicki around the neighborhood many times, had even played and talked with her. The picture showed a smiling girl with reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Her teeth were a little crooked, but I thought it lent her smile more beauty than ugliness. She had rosy red cheeks and dimples on both sides of her mouth. “If anyone has seen her I would urge you to come forward. All we want right now is her safe return.”
I turned away from the TV and watched my dad’s face closely. It was intent, stern. His jawline clenched and unclenched several times. His eyes were the worst though. His eyes held a simmering blaze of anger that scared the crap out of me. It was an alien look. I’d never seen him with that anger in his eyes.
“Dad?” I asked, hesitatingly. I didn’t want to say anything, but I couldn’t stand to see him like that anymore. I didn’t think I could stand it another second.
He turned his head to me.
“Yea?” He asked. His voice was tightly controlled. He seemed to see my concern and that made him pause. His eyes lost focus for a second and when they came back, they were back to normal.
“Nothing.” I replied, my voice cracking audibly. “I was just worried about you, that’s all. You okay?”
“Yea.” He replied. “The whole Vicki Campbell story is hitting me really hard. Why don’t you go ahead and play outside. Get yourself some fresh air.”
I nodded, thinking the idea was a good one. I could use some time with my pals. Some time to vent, I guess. I got up and headed for the door.
“Tad.” My dad called. I turned and looked at him. “Stay with your friends. Don’t go off by yourself, you hear?”
I nodded.
“And be home before dark. Mom’s bringing a pizza home.”
Kris wrote: "Hi Diane,Thank you for moderating this page... what a find! Below is the first page of my contemporary suspense novel, Purple Shadows. Appreciate your feedback!
Kris
Prologue
The bluster..."
I really liked the first page of your book. I thought the dialog and characters are believable and you really start to feel for them. One of the things that I did notice however, is that too many long words next to each tended to trip me up. I've done as much in my own writing more times that I can count and I always try to eliminate them. I don't know if you feel the same, but I just thought I'd pass that along. Really great job though. What was her thesis topic? (Just curious)
Rustin wrote: "Hello, my name is Rustin. I found the link to this group on another page and thought it was really interesting. I really like getting feedback on my writing so I thought I would give it a try. T..."Rustin, I absolutely love the your opening section. Brilliant! Extremely well done.
The rest of you first page also had me intrigued, although wearing my editor's hat, I would take a look at striking anything that the reader doesn't need to know this early in the story. Keep the writing tight and concise. (e.g., I would strike the sentence "Hell, maybe even reading a book. I’d been known to read a book or two." unless it's critical to the story development.) I think that leaves the impression that your narrator is older than you intend him to be. Having read the entire page, I got the impression that he's a contemporary of the missing 10-year old girl, which in my mind would put him in the range of 10-12 years old. The use of "hell" right off the bat gave me a sense he was a teenager.
Re-read the following paragraph for clarity. Is your narrator fantasizing about kissing the reporter or Vicki Campbell? I got it by the end of the paragraph, but a little re-wording seems in order. That bit of information, by the way, caused me to assume Tad to be closer to 12 years old, maybe a couple of years older than the missing girl.
Your description of the police chief is very vivid and well done. I especially liked the bit about his eyes seeming to "punch" at Tad.
Be careful to keep Tad's voice and actions age appropriate and specific. It's okay for him to be precocious, but you want him to remain believable.
Your first page certainly left me wanting to read more. Please consider having an independent editor take a look at the entire novella. From what I've seen here, it has great potential, but could use that final polish to make it exceptional.
Hi Rustin,Appreciate your comments. I'm going through some mass editing/revisions right now and hadn't thought to dedicate a pass to word choice... definitely don't want to make it tedious for readers!
Megyn's thesis topic is about the co-dependence between Thomas Jefferson and his daughter Martha. While I want to give away spoilers (in case it's ever published *fingers crossed*) here's my hook so you can get a sense of where I'm going with all this...
When staight A college student, Megyn Quill is falsely accused of plagiarizing her thesis, she turns to the Purple Shadows- a legendary secret society- for help only to find that she's a pawn in Thomas Jefferson's 200 year old unresolved scandal.
Again, thanks for your thoughts!
Kris
Thanks Kris. I appreciate your comments and I'm glad you liked my first page. I would love to get it professionally edited but unfortunately I don't have the money to do that. I have to do it myself and I am always afraid I'll miss something.
Re. Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder Janet wrote: "I would suggest opening each chapter with several verbatim posts from your diary followed by narrative paragraphs that flesh out the story..."Hi Janet, my aim is to create books that make the reader feel that they have stumbled across someone's personal diary, that make them feel as if they are snooping. I have received positive reviews from readers saying just that, which I'm delighted about. I am committed to not including any other form of narrative. Some people won't like that, of course. ...
Re. Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder Kris wrote: "I'd also like to get an idea of why you are in Germany, how old are you during this experience, etc. It would give me a frame of reference for understanding your narrative. Interesting topic and really "edgy" title!..."Hi Kris, those questions get answered as the story unfolds. Glad you like the title. I chose it really for search engine optimisation. Anyone entering words like 'lesbian' and 'eating disorder' into Google is going to find my book :-)
Hi everyone! I'm a book reviewer, not an author, so I hope it's ok to comment on the First Pages.Thank you to Diane for giving readers a chance to peek at a new book and authors a place to post it. It reminds me a bit of a website where you post page 99, but I don't like the idea of reading a random page so far into a book. I'm the type of person who reads a series in order and the thought of reading page 99 before the others...*shudder*. :D
@Natasha ~ Hey! I'm reading your book right now. Well, not right this exact minute because even I'm not that talented to be able to post here and read a book. lol If you recall you were my 1700th follower on Twitter, so I bumped you up the queue. The last few months have been very hectic but I've started yours now and I'm enjoying it very much. I don't usually read first person, but I like the diary formula. I'm 12% in at the moment and can't wait to see how this plays out.
@Horace ~ I like it. Your words do flow smoothly and since I love horses I'm going to pick it up at Smashwords. I grew up on a farm, too. Not a horse farm though. We raised mostly beef, but it should be interesting to read your points.
@Kris ~ You've got me interested. I want to see where this is headed and since you list it as a suspense my curiosity is well and truly piqued.
@Janet ~ Wow. Just wow. I like the way your words flow and I definitely want to read more about what happened and how you made it through.
@Jill ~ More! I need more! I'm hooked! I need to know about this virus and what is this Shapeshifter Task Force? Are they shifters or are they hunting shifters? What? Tell me! :)
@Diane ~ What drew me in on your first page were the words:'I could drown her.'
'It would be easy.'
‘She’s weak.’
I'm not a fan of flowery description. It's just a personal preference. If it weren't for the words listed above I would most likely pass up this book as not being my type of read even though it's listed as a paranormal suspense.
A Voracious Reader & RPSR wrote: "@Jill ~ More! I need more! I'm hooked! I need to know about this virus and what is this Shapeshifter Task Force? Are they shifters or are they hunting shifters? What? Tell me! :)"Thanks Voracious Reader! My shifters are gender-Shapeshifters. Each shifter can be male or female or configure their shape into anothers. Shapeshifter Task Force are cops.
@Rustin ~ I loved your first page. It gripped me and now I want to know more. Much more. I have children of varying ages and your 15-yr-old sounds like mine, so I don't have a problem with your voice. In fact, I like being in the character's head and eavesdropping on their thoughts.
A Voracious Reader & RPSR wrote: "I've started yours now and I'm enjoying it very much..."Hey Voracious Reader, yes indeed, I do remember winning your Twitter comp. I'm so excited that you're reading my book! Yay :-)
< **Claps hands** ... **Jumps up and down**>
Jill wrote: "A Voracious Reader & RPSR wrote: "@Jill ~ More! I need more! I'm hooked! I need to know about this virus and what is this Shapeshifter Task Force? Are they shifters or are they hunting shifters? Wh..."Oooooooohhhh...nice! Definitely interested!
Natasha wrote: "A Voracious Reader & RPSR wrote: "I've started yours now and I'm enjoying it very much..."Hey Voracious Reader, yes indeed, I do remember winning your Twitter comp. I'm so excited that you're rea..."
*grabs Natasha's hands and jumps up and down with her* :D
I had hoped to read more today, but this day has derailed. Derailment has become the norm around here the last few months and I don't like it one little bit! >:|
A Voracious Reader & RPSR wrote: "... and I don't like it one little bit! >:| ..."((( Voracious Reader ))) << cyber-hug
A Voracious Reader & RPSR wrote: "Hi everyone! I'm a book reviewer, not an author, so I hope it's ok to comment on the First Pages.
Thank you to Diane for giving readers a chance to peek at a new book and authors a place to post i..."
ABSOLUTELY! Thanks for posting! I'm so happy to see so many new posts here:).
Cheers, Diane
Thank you to Diane for giving readers a chance to peek at a new book and authors a place to post i..."
ABSOLUTELY! Thanks for posting! I'm so happy to see so many new posts here:).
Cheers, Diane
First Page of Your Book.
Books mentioned in this topic
Lesbian Crushes at School: A Diary on Growing Up Gay in the Eighties (other topics)Knight of the Purple Ribbon (other topics)
The Keeper of the Stones (other topics)
Satellite (other topics)
Offbeat Love Stories and More (other topics)
More...
But these pages are for YOU, for YOUR first page - so let's have them!
Thanks!
***NOTE: AUTHORS: Please be aware of the new rule...you must comment on one other writer's work here...otherwise, so far, it is just me giving feedback and that's only one opinion and I hoped for more for we writers who slog away on our own and pour everything into our work and then wait...and wait...and wait for someone to please read it! Even a little bit of it. Like here. You can view the whole story of this change in the new topic 'Lopsided Monster'. Thank you!!