Jackaby Quotes

“Monsters are easy, Miss Rook. They're monsters. But a monster in a suit? That's basically just a wicked man, and a wicked man is a more dangerous thing by far.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“So often,” Jackaby said, “people think that when we arrive at a crossroads, we can choose only one path, but—as I have often and articulately postulated—people are stupid. We’re not walking the path. We are the path. We are all of the roads and all of the intersections. Of course you can choose both.”
― William Ritter, Beastly Bones

“It wasn’t that I did not believe in ghosts; it was that I believed in them in the same noncommittal way that I believed in giant squids or lucky coins or Belgium. They were things that probably existed, but I had never given any occasion to really care one way or another.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“Maybe if you would bother reading a book once in a while instead of hurling them about every chance you get, you would have put the pieces together yourself by now”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“Does this smell like paprika or gunpowder to you?”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“I never found a book that did not have at least a little magic in it”
― William Ritter, The Dire King

“Don't feel too bad" I offered. "I met him face-to-face, and I missed it, too."
"Yes, but no one expected you to be clever Miss Rook."
"Thanks for that," I said”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“To the attention of the New Fiddleham Police Department: You've got my middle-C, and I would like it back.

...

Please return Jackaby's tuning fork. He's getting even more obnoxious than usual.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“Come to think of it, I am already keeping correspondence with a dog, with whom, I must admit, I find myself rather smitten. Also, I'm secretly hoping Mrs. Wiggles ends up a full halibut when this is through, because that would save me a trip to the market... although if Hatun's troll keeps company with a tabby, perhaps he wouldn't much appreciate a meal that used to be a cat."
Jackaby stared "I've already ruined you, haven't I?"
"Looks that way."
"And I suppose there's nothing to be done about it?"
"Not a thing.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“Is it...Richard Frederic?"
"No, and I am not going to--"
"Russell Francis?"
"No. You're being--"
"Rumpelstiltskin Finnegan?"
Jackaby sighed. "Yes, Miss Rook. Rumpelstiltskin. You've found me out. I am the devious imp of the fairy tales.”
― William Ritter, Beastly Bones

“So she’s just a mad woman?”

Jackaby hesitated, and when he spoke, his answer had a soft earnestness to it. “Hatun sees a different world than you or I, a far more frightening one, full of far more terrible dangers, and still she chooses to be the hero whom that world needs. She has saved this town and its people from countless monsters countless times. That the battles are usually in her head does not lessen the bravery of it. The hardest battles always are.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“I read the first few," said Jackaby. "I've instructed my duck to just file the rest directly under P. I left it to him to decide if that was for politics or paranoia.”
― William Ritter, The Dire King

“A young woman across the dock pulled her winter coat tightly around herself and ducked her chin down as the crowd of sailors passed. Her shoulders might have shaken, just a little, but she kept to her path without letting the men's boisterous laughter keep her from her course. In her I saw myself, a fellow lost girl, headstrong and headed anywhere but home.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“Right," I said. My ears were still ringing slightly. "Did you just wake me with a policemen's rattle? You can hear those things from two blocks away."
"A what? No, this is a grogger--it's an old Judaic instrument. It's used during Purim to make a deafening racket during special readings. Charming, isn't it? Marvelously raucous custom."
"Knocking gently also works."
"You have no appreciation for culture.”
― William Ritter, Beastly Bones

“Miss Rook, I am not an occultist.” Jackaby turned on the landing and faced me. “I am a man of reason and science. I believe what I can see or prove, and what I can see is often difficult for others to grasp. I have a gift that is, as far as I have found, unique to me. It allows me to see truth where others see the illusion—and there are many illusions, so many masks and facades. All the world’s a stage, as they say, and I seem to have the only seat in the house with a view behind the curtain.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“We are not the policy department, except for those of us who are," Jackaby revised.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“I’m beginning to think a dictionary would have been a far more advantageous birthday gift for you.”
“More advantageous than being eaten alive by a giant, carnivorous bunny? Yes, most things fall in that category, I think.”
― William Ritter, The Map

“Wood nymphs,” said Jackaby.
“Not a real cheery lot, them,” observed Hudson.
“In retrospect, a library is a rather somber locale for their kind. A bit like housing a man in a graveyard. Well, a bit like housing a man in a graveyard in which his people’s bones have been mashed to a pulp and reconstituted into slim sheets, onto which one has scribbled a lot of silly words with pictures of monks and satyrs in the margins.”
― William Ritter, The Dire King

“That will suffice," Jackaby grumbled loudly from behind me. "Yes, yes. You are young and your love is a hot biscuit and other abysmally romantic metaphors, I'm sure. You do recall that you saw each other yesterday?”
― William Ritter, The Dire King

“Excuse me! May I have your attention, please!" he called out, completely unnecessarily. Every eye was already on the mad detective, who was hunching slightly under the rearing hooves of the marble horse. "Yes, hello, everyone. Many of you know me, but if you have never had occasion to work with me-or to arrest me-my name is R.F.Jackaby.”
― William Ritter

“Oh good God! You stared at the frog, didn't you?”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“I guess I do tend to leave an impression." - Jackaby
"More like a smoldering crater." - Bertram
...
"You've done something with the front garden, haven't you?" - Jackaby
"Yes," said Spade. "We've let it grow back.”
― William Ritter

“Pavel. The pale man. The vampire. We talked. He didn't murder me horribly, no thanks to you. You were chasing after children at the time. - Abigail, to Jackaby”
― William Ritter

“But you - you notice mailboxes and wastebaskets and... and people. One who can see the ordinary is extraordinary indeed, Abigail Rook. - Jackaby”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“Names have power... And he kept the one I gave him. My dear, sweet Jackaby. - Eleanor”
― William Ritter

“– Я перестал переживать о том, что думают окружающие, Эбигейл Рук. Советую и вам последовать моему примеру. По собственному опыту я знаю, что окружающие обычно заблуждаются.”
― William Ritter, Jackaby

“They certainly seem to be something special,"

"Of course they are. He expected nothing less of them, and treated them accordingly. They were never given the option to be anything but exceptional." His mouth turned up in a smile, and he gave me a meaningful glance.”
― William Ritter, Beastly Bones

“You didn’t make me,” Jenny said gently. “I made myself, and I will continue to make myself forever after. What you did to me? That made you. It made you a murderer and it made you a monster. They buried the girl you killed, Morwen. I’m the spirit you couldn’t kill. You have no power over me.”
― William Ritter, Ghostly Echoes

“Purpose, sir. It's nice to have purpose. It's not about the treasure—it's about the hunt." "That, Miss Rook, is an irresponsible and irrational sentiment, and one of your finest qualities.”
― William Ritter, The Map

“Shall we drink to the Bold Deceiver, then?"

"How about we drink to adventure, instead?"

"After my own heart." Jackaby gave me a proud smile.”
― William Ritter, The Map