Friday Barnes Quotes

“Hello Mrs Cannon,' said Melanie. 'Friday wants me to distract you so that she can get Parker to say something that isn't on his official scripts.'
'Really?' said Mrs Cannon. 'That sounds intriguing. Much more intriguing than this unspeakably boring polo match. Why don't you pretend to sprain your ankle, then I could pretend to be concerned?'
'Okay,' said Melanie. 'Does that mean I can lie down?'
'I wouldn't dream of trying to stop you,' said Mrs Cannon. 'I just wish I could do the same.'
'You could say you had a fainting spell,' suggested Melanie.
'What a good idea,' said Mrs Cannon. 'If you've got a sprained ankle and I have a fainting spell, then we can both have a nice rest on the grass.'
'The Headmaster can't complain about that,' said Melanie as they both made themselves comfortable.
'Of course not,' said Mrs Cannon. 'If he did I'd report him to my union.”
― R.A. Spratt, Big Trouble