Colbert Quotes

“I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion.

Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable...in that it is not true. Only 3 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Kyle just rounded it up to the nearest 90.”
― Stephen Colbert

“It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Science literacy is an important part of what it is to be an informed citizen of society.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson

“President Bush, have a hot dog with me.”
― Stephen Colbert