Bite Me Quotes

Quotes tagged as "bite-me" Showing 1-8 of 8
Jennifer L. Armentrout
“Crossing the room, he stopped infront of me. "I'm not going to bite."
"That's good."
"Unless you want me to," He said with a devilish grin.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, Onyx

Christopher Moore
“[...]I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all "Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way."
-The Chronicles of Abby Normal”
Christopher Moore, Bite Me

Christopher Moore
“Kayso, Foo finally came home and I jumped into his arms and sort of rode him to the ground with a massive tongue kiss so deep that I could taste the burned cinnamon toast of his soul, but then I slapped him, so he didn't think I was a slut. (Shut up, he had wood.)
--Being the Journal of Abby Normal”
Christopher Moore, Bite Me

Christopher Moore
“Pervy and redundant, don't you think?" I asked the big gay cop, who wouldn't know a va-jay-jay if it bounced up to him and sang the "Star-Spangled Banner." (You ever notice that hardly anything besides the "Star-Spangled Banner" is spangled? There's no, like, the Raisin-Spangled Scone, or the Flea-Spangled Beagle. I'm just saying.)
--Being the Journal of Abby Normal”
Christopher Moore, Bite Me

Christopher Moore
“Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff.
--Being the Journal of Abby Normal”
Christopher Moore, Bite Me

Christopher Moore
“So, like, the master needed a hand, if you know what I mean, so I was like, "Oh chill, it's a stress thing, everyone does it. I'm flicking the bean under the table right now just to dial the tension back a little. Yes. Yes. Yes! Oh-zombie-jeebus-fuck-me-Simba-lion-king-hakuna-matata! Yes!"
--The Chronicles of Abby Normal”
Christopher Moore, Bite Me

Christopher Moore
“Foo shuddered. It had been less than an hour since the cops led Abby away and already he missed her like a severed limb. It was embarrassing. How could hormones and hydrostatic pressure make you feel like this? Love was very unscientific.”
Christopher Moore, Bite Me

Christopher Moore
“[Abby to Tommy and Jody who are hugging]
So I'm like, "Cold-faced killers on the clock, bitches, we don't have time for your bonery right now."
--The Chronicles of Abby Normal”
Christopher Moore, Bite Me