Ivan > Ivan's Quotes

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  • #1
    Jerome K. Jerome
    “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
    Jerome K. Jerome

  • #2
    Steve  Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    Steve Martin

  • #3
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

  • #4
    Lemony Snicket
    “I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
    Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

  • #5
    Mark Twain
    “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
    Mark Twain

  • #6
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

  • #7
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #8
    Richard Castle
    “There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers.”
    Richard Castle

  • #9
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    Woody Allen

  • #10
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #11
    Cassandra Clare
    “I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
    "Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job.”
    Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

  • #12
    Terry Pratchett
    “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
    Terry Pratchett, Jingo

  • #13
    J.K. Rowling
    “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
    J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

  • #14
    Groucho Marx
    “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
    Groucho Marx

  • #15
    Chris Rock
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
    Chris Rock

  • #16
    Cassandra Clare
    “It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.”
    Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

  • #17
    Stephen  King
    “When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
    Stephen King, Storm of the Century

  • #18
    George Burns
    “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
    George Burns

  • #19
    Nicholas Sparks
    “Mom says it's because she has PMS.
    Do you even know what that means?
    "I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome”
    Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

  • #20
    Rick Riordan
    “Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?"
    "Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?"
    "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart.”
    Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse



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