Debbie > Debbie's Quotes

“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.”
― Chelsea Handler

“You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.”
― Chelsea Handler

“I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.”
― Chelsea Handler, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang