Bryan > Bryan's Quotes

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  • #1
    Trenton Lee Stewart
    “In a city called Stonetown, near a port called Stonetown Harbor, a boy named Reynie Muldoon was preparing to take an important test. It was the second test of the day—the first had been in an office across town. After that one he was told to come here, to the Monk Building on Third Street, and to bring nothing but a single pencil and a single rubber eraser, and to arrive no later than one o’clock. If he happened to be late, or bring two pencils, or forget his eraser, or in any other way deviate from the instructions, he would not be allowed to take the test, and that would be that. Reynie, who very much wanted to take it, was careful to follow the instructions. Curiously enough, these were the only ones given.”
    Trenton Lee Stewart, The Mysterious Benedict Society

  • #2
    “Three days later the bumps were still around, so I turned to Google to diagnose the problem. WARNING: Do not do a Google image search of “red bumps all over” unless you never want to sleep again.”
    Dustin Brady, Dogs Ain't Dumb: And Other Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

  • #3
    “Me: ѕоn уоur lаtе fоr dinner gеt hоmе nоw Dad: nо im оn mу wау tо nаrnіа! Mе: уоur drunk аrnt уоu Dad: nо whаt mаkеѕ you thіnk thаt Mе: whеrе do you live then? Dаd: іn a оvеr ѕіzеd muѕhrооm іn ѕmurf vіllаgе ��”
    BOB JOKER, TEXT FAILS : Super Funny Text Fails, Autocorrect Fails Mishaps on Smartphone!

  • #4
    Barry Strow
    “Mom: Can you turn the oven on to 350? Me: I have children in there. Mom: Omg...chicken! I meant chicken! Mom: LOL!!!”
    Barry Strow, TEXT FAILS: Super Funny Messages and Autocorrect Fails. Smiles with Funniest Mishaps Ever on Smartphones! VOL 2

  • #5
    “Where am I? What the heck happens it the world?”
    Steve the Explorer, Diary of Steve The explorer: An unofficial Minecraft novel

  • #6
    “Where am I? What the heck happens it the world? I”
    Steve the Explorer, Diary of Steve The explorer: An unofficial Minecraft novel

  • #7
    “lagging”
    Steve the Explorer, Diary of Steve The explorer: An unofficial Minecraft novel

  • #8
    “even it was blocky,”
    Steve the Explorer, Diary of Steve The explorer: An unofficial Minecraft novel

  • #9
    “and every of my body parts it blocky too, everything”
    Steve the Explorer, Diary of Steve The explorer: An unofficial Minecraft novel

  • #10
    Dr. Block
    “Bread was hard at work baking himself … hurrr … I mean bread. (Bad joke. Sorry.)”
    Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 6

  • #11
    Dr. Block
    “Winter.”
    Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 6

  • #12
    “James”
    Brandon Safiran, The Search For Diamond City: The Adventure Begins

  • #13
    “sella”
    Mark Mulle, Diary of a Piglin Book 1: The World of Piglins

  • #14
    “I said.”
    Mark Mulle, Diary of a Piglin Book 1: The World of Piglins

  • #15
    Ryan Brown
    “Jackson: Hi Babe! What are you doing? Julia: Nothing much. I’m really tired!
    Just going to sleep now babe. And you? Jackson: I’m in the club standing behind you..”
    Ryan Brown, TEXT FAILS : The Comical World of Autocorrect Fails, Super Funny Text Messages Fails, Hilarious and Crazy Smartphone Mishaps!

  • #16
    Ryan Brown
    “the top of your screen Alex: AHAHA oh yeah lol Adam: So, can you tell
    him I’ve found it? Alex: Hi It’s Adam. Someone’s
    found your phone.”
    Ryan Brown, TEXT FAILS : The Comical World of Autocorrect Fails, Super Funny Text Messages Fails, Hilarious and Crazy Smartphone Mishaps!

  • #17
    “Hey,” Granny said. “I’m not mentally unstable. My psychiatrist even closed his practice and told me to never come back.”
    Mike Bloemer, The School Bully Is My Brother

  • #18
    “Willy jumped out of the van and snuck into the woods to murder some small creatures.”
    Dustin Brady, How to Tell Off a Telemarketer: And Other Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

  • #19
    Stuart Gibbs
    “Dane slipped out of the line of fire, but left Zoe standing in the doorway, his massive hand clenched around her neck. “Drop your weapons and give yourselves up!”
    Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

  • #20
    Stuart Gibbs
    “Drop your weapons and give yourselves up!” he yelled to us in his odd, singsong Dutch accent.”
    Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

  • #21
    L.J. Shen
    “On the steps of the Art Institute. My poor fiancé made a spectacle of himself. Tore his dress pants from behind as he went down on one knee. His entire butt was on full display.” I sighed, not daring to look up at his reaction. “You did not!” The man burst out laughing, clapping Wolfe’s shoulder. The woman snorted and flashed Wolfe a smile open with both admiration and lust. I chanced a look at Wolfe and saw his lips thinning in irritation. Unlike them, he did not find my story entertaining.”
    L.J. Shen, The Kiss Thief

  • #22
    “diamond hoe”
    Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 36: Unofficial Minecraft Books

  • #23
    “We're technically living about eighty milliseconds in the past because that's how long it takes our brain to process information.”
    Scott Matthews, 1144 Random, Interesting & Fun Facts You Need To Know: The Knowledge Encyclopedia To Win Trivia

  • #24
    “American was the official language of the state of Illinois from 1923 all the way up to 1969.”
    Danielle Yarbrough, 1,500 FASCINATING FACTS: All the really interesting knowledge around the World

  • #25
    “In Jupiter, Florida, a man tossed a live alligator into a Wendy's drive- thru window after the server handed over his drink.”
    Danielle Yarbrough, 1,500 FASCINATING FACTS: All the really interesting knowledge around the World



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