Michael > Michael's Quotes

“Your welcome means more to me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, than a thousand souls. Watching Rachel work is a wonder of one catastrophe after another.”
― Kim Harrison

“But he's Rachel Candy!"
-Both Jenks and Al”
― Kim Harrison, White Witch, Black Curse

“I'd watch your mouth", he said, tilting his head as he looked at my ID."The last lunker who laughed at her picture spent the night in the emergency room with a drink umbrella jammed up his nose".”
― Kim Harrison

“Sure am glad I'm not royalty," I muttered. "I wouldn't want to have to bump uglies with someone I can't stand. On a regular basis. And no one else."
"Ow!" I exclaimed, trying to yank my fingers from Trent but finding them caught. Then I colored, realizing what I'd said. "Oh… sorry," I stammered, meaning it. "That was insensitive."
Trent's frown turned into a sly smirk. "Bump uglies?" he said, eyes on the table behind me. "You are a font of gutter slang, Rachel. We must do this again.”
― Kim Harrison, For a Few Demons More

“Uh... ," Ivy stammered, and I glanced up to see her eyes wide in consideration.
"I'm kidding," I said. "It passed the lethal-amulet test, remember?"
"Not that. You keep it in your underwear drawer?"
I hesitated, wondering why I was embarrassed. "Well, where do you put your elven magic?" I asked.”
― Kim Harrison, Black Magic Sanction

“We were innocent once. How could it have gone so bad?”
― Kim Harrison, Pale Demon

“Al was looking at me in disbelief. “Not your lover?”
“No.”
“But he is Rachel candy,” Al said, his confusion too honest to be faked.”
― Kim Harrison

“A slow smile curved over my face, and I leaned down over him. "No," I said. "Wishes are lies. Tell me you're going to leave. Tell me you're not going to stay. Tell me that it's only for a while so I can enjoy today," I whispered in his ear, as if saying it louder would break me. "And when you go, don't think me cold when I don't cry. I can't cry anymore, Pierce. It hurts too much.”
― Kim Harrison

“My mother isn't crazy. She simply has a harder time than most reconciling her reality with everyone else's reality.”
― Kim Harrison, A Perfect Blood

“You think Ivy's a planner? She has nothing on a motivated elf with too much money.”
― Kim Harrison, Pale Demon

“The car was full of unhappy people heading west. It was the Great American Family Road Trip, all right. Whaaa-hoo!”
― Kim Harrison, Pale Demon

“Pierce jerked his hand from Trent and pushed himself straight. “Kalamack Industries,” he said, expression twisted as he wiped his hand on his pants. “I knew your father.”
“I do not freaking believe this,” I said, shifting to stand where I could see both of them.
Al beamed. “Amazing who you can meet in an elevator.”
― Kim Harrison, White Witch, Black Curse

“From the back came an unearthly, satisfied chuckle. All I could see in the rearview mirror was a dark shadow with red goat-slitted eyes. Fear slithered through me.
Shit, I have a demon in my backseat. What in hell am I playing with?
“Good witch,” Al said, his voice coming from nothing, and I stifled a shudder. “You’re starting to understand.”
― Kim Harrison

“Having been a demon curse, however brief, should leave a mark. A streak of silver hair, or bewitching eyes. Maybe crows on one's roof or a hound from hell at your heel. Blowing out my breath I stood and squinted at my reflection. A black eye. Swell.”
― Kim Harrison, For a Few Demons More

“Good God, Rachel, cant you go five minutes... sweet sticky hell on a stick!' the demon exclaimed, his thoughts reeling from anger to concern as he realized I was hopped up on something.”
― kim harrison, Black Magic Sanction

“Quen's gaze went to Ivy and Jenks.
Peeved, I crossed my legs and shook my head. "We're a team. I'm not asking them to leave so you can tell me of whatever piss-poor problem you've landed yourself in."
The older elf's brow wrinkled. He took an angry breath.
"Look," I said, my finger jabbing out to point at him. "I don't like you. Jenks doesn't like you. And Ivy wants to eat you. Start talking.”
― Kim Harrison, Every Which Way But Dead

“Breaking rules isn't bad when what you're doing is more important than the rule itself”
― Kim Harrison, Once Dead, Twice Shy

“No one wears buckles anymore, and I decided to get him some real boots next winter solstice.Some sexy guy boots. Yeah.”
― Kim Harrison, Black Magic Sanction

“That’s my girl,” she said, her eyes holding a shared pain as she saw my confusion. “Al, where are you going to put her? Not in your room. She’d pull a line through you and kill you when you hog the blankets. I’ll take the waif in. I promise I’ll bring this one up properly.”
― Kim Harrison, Pale Demon

“I do so like all-encompassing words. Verb, adjective, noun. Yes, you are shitted.”
― Kim Harrison, Pale Demon

“His right ear still held both studs, and I wondered who had the missing earring. I would have asked, but was afraid he’d tell me Ivy had it.”
― Kim Harrison, A Fistful of Charms

“Al was standing a bare three feet away, his mood almost jovial as he took the paper and it vanished in a wash of black sparkles.

“Thank you, Rachel,” he said, carefully reaching for my hand as Trent stiffened.

“Welcome back, my itchy witch.”
― Kim Harrison, A Perfect Blood

“Some nasty bitch of a woman from the coven of moral and ethical standards tried to fry Rache" the pixy said apparently proud of it. "I pixed the Tink-blasted dildo, and Rache's black-arts boyfriend blew her right out the front door. "Bam!”
― Kim Harrison, A Perfect Blood

“Why?" I said, taking the paper from him as Al smiled. "If it's not what I agreed to, I will burn Al's gonads off the first chance I get. Turn around. I need to use your back for a second."

"Ah, hold on a tick," Al said, snapping his fingers again and catching the new paper drifting down. "How silly of me. This is the one. Here.”
― Kim Harrison, A Perfect Blood

“Five trolls in a dra-a-a-a-ag,' the four-inch man sang from my shoulder. 'Four purple condoms, three French ticklers, two horny vamps and a succubus in the snow.”
― Kim Harrison, White Witch, Black Curse

“What was in the trunk?" I asked, and my eyes widened when he opened his coat and let me glimpse a big-ass rifle.
"I know these people," he said, his expression going hard. "We handle their insurance.”
― Kim Harrison, For a Few Demons More

“I’m your worst nightmare come to walk this side of the lines. I’m an elf, Trent something you’re forgotten how to be. You’re scared of black magic. I can see fear shimmering under your aura like sweat. I live and breathe black magic. I’m so tainted with it that I will use it without thought, without guilt and without hesitation.”
― Kim Harrison, For a Few Demons More

“I could sit and watch nature documentaries with Jenks and the kids the rest of the night if I wanted. And trust me, watching a dozen pixies scream as a crocodile chomped on a zebra was something not to be missed. They invariably cheered for the crocodile, not the zebra.”
― Kim Harrison, A Perfect Blood

“I’m not going to pick her up and carry her screaming to the basement,” Trent said. “It’s a workday. Besides, she has a crutch.”

“Crutch or no, she’s hurt!” Ceri protested.

“I mean,” Trent said intently, “she can hit me with it if I do something she doesn’t like.”
― Kim Harrison, A Perfect Blood

“Rachel?” came Ivy’s voice from her room. “Where’s my sword?”
“In the foyer where you left it last week when the evangelists were canvassing the neighborhood”
― Kim Harrison, A Perfect Blood