SpiralKat > SpiralKat's Quotes

“Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“From day one it was like society was this violent, complicated dance and everybody had taken lessons but me. Knocked to the floor again, climbing to my feet each time, bloody and humiliated. Always met with disapproving faces, waiting for me to leave so I'd stop fucking up the party.

The wanted to push me outside, where the freaks huddled in the cold. Out there with the misfits, the broken, the glazed-eye types who can only watch as the normals enjoy their shiny new cars and careers and marriages and vacations with the kids.

The freaks spend their lives shambling around, wondering how they got left out, mumbling about conspiracy theories and bigfoot sightings. Their encounters with the world are marked by awkward conversations and stifled laughter, hidden smirks and rolled eyes. And worst of all, pity.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“PEOPLE DIE.
This is the fact the world desperately hides from us from birth. Long after you find out the truth about sex and Santa Claus, this other myth endures, this one about how you’ll always get rescued at the last second and if not, your death will at least mean something and there’ll be somebody there to hold your hand and cry over you. All of society is built to prop up that lie, the whole world a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you’ll die, and you’ll probably be alone.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it'll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean."
"Who's-"
"Because you're gay.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Antidepressants. The thought of this girl actually being depressed made me want to grab the whole planet and throw it into the sun. Well, more than usual anyway.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes.

John said, "Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb?”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“She said, “Why do you, like, hate yourself?”

“If I knew me as somebody else, I would hate me just as much. Why have a double standard?”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“One more victim sucked in by John. You get into the room with him and you just fall into a warm pool of beer and video games and penis jokes, staring at the universe with him and saying, "Do you believe this shit?”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Welcome to Undisclosed. Dreams
Interpreted for Beer.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Here's the only thing you need to know about John: The reason I was surprised by your hand was because he never once described you as "the girl with only one hand.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“There is Normal Society and then there is the Abnormal Freaks Who Deserve Our Public Pity and Private Ridicule Society. The first is the world of good jobs and Christmas shopping and marriages and vacations and the scent of new cars. And then there is that other world, the world of the glazed eye, of people who chant at the moon and spout conspiracy theories and get sexually aroused by furry animal costumes. Some dress all in black to carry out vampire rituals and others col ect cats until they’re a furry shoulder-to-shoulder flood on every floor of the house. The Abnormal travel among the Normal and leave behind them a trail of sickeningly awkward conversations and stifled laughter, of hidden smirks and rolled eyes. And worst of all, pity.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“…the whole world [is]a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you’ll die, and you’ll probably be alone.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Of all the dogs I’ve known in my life, I’ve never seen a better driver.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Do they know they make the honey for you? Or do they work tirelessly because they think its their own choice?”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“SOCIETY IS DOOMED for one very simple reason: it takes dozens of men working months with millions of dollars in materials to build a building, but only one dumb-ass with a bomb to bring it down.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Somebody said my name, asked if I was okay. I didn't answer, the sound of the commotion dying around me as the heavy monkey of sleep rested its warm, hairy ass on my eyelids.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“That's what life is. Adjustment.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“No. We talked about this. I’m going home to eat a pie.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“This is the breaking point in a human life, right here. This is waking up on an operating table to find aliens peering down at you, this is hearing the audible voice of God telling you the date the world will end. This is seeing a family of bigfoots in the forest and being without a camera.

Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a website soon.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End