Ryan > Ryan's Quotes

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#1

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking

21434 likes

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#2

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12934 likes

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#3

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

tags: humor

10164 likes

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#4

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

tags: death, humor, life

6726 likes

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#5

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: cats, humor, life

5175 likes

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#6

“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: fantasy, humor, imagination, literature, stories

6662 likes

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#7

“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
― Terry Pratchett

4295 likes

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#8

“Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

tags: humor, science

4305 likes

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#9

“I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.”
― Terry Pratchett

2217 likes

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#10

“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: humor, metaphysics, physics, science

3509 likes

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#11

“It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
― Terry Pratchett

3099 likes

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#12

“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
"What?"
"Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

tags: absurd, humor, interrogation, police

1975 likes

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#13

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: humor, life

3611 likes

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#14

“A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.”
― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

tags: bookshop, bookstore, discworld, read, reading

1489 likes

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#15

“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

2163 likes

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#16

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

tags: books, humor

2609 likes

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#17

“The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.”
― Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

tags: humor, life, movies

1275 likes

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#18

“He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

tags: death, humor

1254 likes

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#19

“And what would humans be without love?"
RARE, said Death.”
― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

2187 likes

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#20

“Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor

795 likes

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#21

“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

tags: gods, humour, religion, stupidity

1278 likes

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#22

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

tags: humor

1441 likes

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#23

“Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

tags: humor

440 likes

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#24

“Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.”
― Terry Pratchett

851 likes

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#25

“Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.”
― Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters

tags: destiny, religion

411 likes

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#26

“I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'
If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?”
― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

tags: humor, interrogation, police, violence

347 likes

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Tags From Ryan’s Quotes

humor
open-mind
thinking
proverb
death
life
cats
fantasy
imagination
literature
stories
science
metaphysics
physics
absurd
interrogation
police
bookshop
bookstore
discworld
read
reading
books
movies
gods
humour
religion
stupidity
destiny
violence