Julia > Julia's Quotes

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“What is it?' Stephanie whispered.
'That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.'
She looked at Skulduggery. 'You don't know what it is, do you?'
'I told you what it is, it's a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“There’s no such thing as winning or losing. There is won and there is lost, there is victory and defeat. There are absolutes. Everything in between is still left to fight for. Serpine will have won only when there is no one left to stand against him. Until then, there is only the struggle, because tides do what tides do–they turn.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Valkyrie: “You are such a moron.”
Skulduggery: “Don't be jealous of my genius.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Found something?”
“No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh… more floor.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That’s what they’d said countless times in the past. Of course, they’d been referring to school subjects and college applications and job prospects. Presumably, at no stage did they factor living skeletons and magic underworlds into their considerations. If they had, their advice would probably have been very different.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“What would killing the Elders result in?"
"Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I woke up, a bag of bones. Literally. They had gathered up my bones and put them in a bag and thrown the bag into a river.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two where the mystery lies.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.' --Skulduggery”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Gordon Edgley's sudden death came as a shock to everyone - not least himself. One moment he was in his study, seven words into the twenty-fifth sentence of the final chapter of his new book, And the Darkness Rained upon Them, and the next he was dead. A tragic loss, his mind echoed numbly as he slipped away.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Was it a test?” she asked. “I mean, I know I'm still new to this. I'm still the rookie. Did you hang back to test me, to see if I'd be able to handle it alone?”
“Well, kind of,” he said. “Actually, no, nothing like that. My shoelace was untied. That's why I was late. That's why you were alone.”
“I could have been killed because you were tying your SHOELACE?”
“An untied shoelace an be dangerous,” he said. “I could have tripped.”
She stared at him. A moment dragged by.
“I'm joking,” he said at last.
She relaxed. “Really?”
“Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is."
"Okay."
Serpine raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"No, only joking. Do your worst.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“He does this on purpose," Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause.

"He looks like he's about to sneeze," Stephanie remarked.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“By the time they got to Denholm Street, day had been beaten back and the night was soaking through the city.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Wait, do they even know I'm coming with you?"
"No. But they like surprises. Almost always.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Right, well, we've got to work out what we need. We've got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“The world is bigger than you know, and scarier than you might imagine. The only currency worth anything is being true to yourself, and the only goal worth seeking is finding out who you truly are.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don't like; that's you Beryl.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I cannot have chaos erupting around me until I am prepared for it. I am a collector. I am an observer. I don't participate. My resources, and my standing, must be secure before I can allow the uncertainty of war to crash down upon us.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Dublin City was quiet when they reached the Waxwork Museum, as if it was holding its breath.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“With his sunglasses gone and his scarf hanging down, there was no denying that he had no flesh, he had no skin, he had no eyes and he had no face.
All he had was a skull for a head.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”
― Derek Landy

“Enjoy that?" Tanith said with a little grin.

Valkyrie grinned back, her eyes bright. "I keep telling Skulduggery he should get a bike."

"What does he say?"

"He says people who wear leathers, like you, should ride motorbikes. People who wear exquisite suits, like him, should drive Bentleys.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire