Az > Az's Quotes

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.”
― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

“Don't be jealous of anyone. I guarantee you, if everyone walked into a room, and dumped their problems onto the floor, when they saw what everyone else's problems were, they'd be scrambling to get their own problems back before someone else got to them first.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“Men aren't stupid, and you don't need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here's the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything he can to keep you around. Anything.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“There should be a phone service that turns off your phone between midnight and six A.M. every night. And if you want to make a call, you have to pick up the phone and talk to an operator: Put me through to AAA. My car battery's dead. Yes, ma'am. Put me through to Pink Dot. I need vanilla Häagen-Dazs toute de suite! Yes, ma'am. Put me through to my ex-boyfriend... I'm sorry, ma'am, the operator would say. That would be a bad idea. Now you go to bed before you do anything stupid.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

“It was ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops.

And if you've managed to drag yourself from the bed and go down the road to the garden center or the drug store, by then the worst is over. At that point you might as well just go to work.”
― Marian Keyes, Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married

“Feathery Stokers - There is no definitive list but here are some examples. Men who didn’t eat red meat were Feathery Strokers. Men who used postshave balm instead of slapping stinging aftershave onto their tender skin were Feathery Strokers. Men who noticed your shoes and handbags were Feathery Strokers. (Or Jolly Boys.) Men who said pornography was exploitation of women were Feathery Strokers. (Or liars.) Men who said pornography was exploitation of men as much as women were of the scale. All straight men from San Francisco were Feather Strokers. All academics with beards were Feathery Stokers. Men who stayed friends with their ex-girlfriends were Feathery Strokers. Especially if they called them their “ex-partner.” Men who did Pilates were Feathery Strokers. Men who said, “I have to take care of myself right now” were screaming Feathery Strokers. (Even I’d go along with that.) ~Jacqui”
― Marian Keyes, Anybody Out There?

“What doesn't kill us makes us funnier.”
― Marian Keyes, The Other Side of the Story

“The feel of them (books) and the smell of them. A bookshop was like an Aladdin's cave for me. Entire worlds and lives can be found just behind that glossy cover. All you had to do was look." Claire (Watermelon)”
― Marian Keyes, Watermelon

“How to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.”
― Marian Keyes, The Other Side of the Story

“I'd rather eat nothing than eat a carrot.”
― Marian Keyes, Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married

“When God closes one door, He slams another in your face”
― Marian Keyes, The Other Side of the Story

“Nothing sinister. Just getting exercise. Although some might consider that sinister.”
― Marian Keyes, Anybody Out There?

“Hen nights should be banned. You're honour-bound to behave atrociously, then feel terribly ashamed afterwards.

(This Charming Man)”
― Marian Keyes

“Political correctness is a minefield”
― Marian Keyes, Angels

“Rough as a badger's arse”
― Marian Keyes

“Show me a person who doesn't have a past and I'll show you a boring bastard”
― Marian Keyes, Last Chance Saloon: A Novel

“God! I hated this business of being grown-up. I hated having to make decisions where I didn't know what was behind the door. I wanted a world where heroes and villains were clearly labeled. Where ominous music comes on-screen so you can't possibly mistake him. Where someone asks you to choose between playing with the beautiful princess in the fragrant garden and being eaten by the hideous monster in the foul-smelling pit. Not exactly a difficult one, now is it? Not something that you would agonize over, or that would make you lose a night's sleep?”
― Marian Keyes, Watermelon

“You know what it's like. Sometimes, you meet a wonderful person, but it's only for a brief instant. Maybe on vacation or on a train or maybe even in a bus line. And they touch your life for a moment, but in a special way. And instead of mourning because they can't be with you for longer, or because you don't get the chance to know them better, isn't it better to be glad that you met them at all?”
― Marian Keyes, Watermelon

“Relationship gurus always said that an attraction based on friendship and mutual respect was far more likely to stay the course - and the bastards were right.”
― Marian Keyes, The Other Side of the Story

“sometimes you don't need a goal in life, you don't need to know the big picture. you just need to know what you're going to do next!”
― Sophie Kinsella, The Undomestic Goddess

“I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore.”
― Sophie Kinsella, Confessions of a Shopaholic

“Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail...”
― Sophie Kinsella

“The trouble with giving yourself a pep talk is, that deep down you know it's all bullshit.”
― Sophie Kinsella, Remember Me?

“Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking...a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards.”
― Sophie Kinsella

“If I've learned one lesson from all that's happened to me, it's that there is no such thing as the biggest mistake of your existence. There's no such thing as ruining your life. Life's a pretty resilient thing, it turns out.”
― Sophie Kinsella, The Undomestic Goddess

“Some things are best left a blur. Births and Visa Bills.”
― Sophie Kinsella, Shopaholic & Baby

“Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you've had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury.”
― Sophie Kinsella, Twenties Girl

“I'm allergic to family occasions. Sometimes I think we'd do better as dandelion seeds-no family, no history, just floating off into the world, each on our own piece of fluff.”
― Sophie Kinsella, Twenties Girl

“We’re on this planet for too short a time. And at the end of the day, what’s more important? Knowing that a few meaningless figures balanced—or knowing that you were the person you wanted to be?”
― Sophie Kinsella