A Total Waste of Makeup Quotes

“I'm tired of waiting by the phone, and second-guessing what a guy says and trusting someone not to hurt me. Again. I've been storming the relationship castle for fifteen years, and I still don't have my prince. I've got a bunch of battle scars from the field and I want to go home and nurse my wounds. I don't want to fight anymore.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“Men aren't stupid, and you don't need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here's the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything he can to keep you around. Anything.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“To be honest, it was pretty hard to leave. I desperately wanted to turn around, and tell him everything would be okay. That I adore him and I trust him and that I'll stand by him while he goes through this tough time. But I'm just too tired. I'm thirty years old. I'm tired of relationships that are always painful. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of waiting by the phone, and second-guessing what a guy says and trusting someone not to hurt me. Again. I've been storming the relationship castle for fifteen years, and I still don't have my prince. I've got a bunch of battle scars from the field and I want to go home and nurse my wounds. I don't want to fight anymore.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“Don't be jealous of anyone. I guarantee you, if everyone walked into a room, and dumped their problems onto the floor, when they saw what everyone else's problems were, they'd be scrambling to get their own problems back before someone else got to them first.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“There comes a moment in your life when you realize that no matter how hard you try, you're never going to be fluent in Spanish. Or go on that African safari you've read about since you were a kid. Or be as excited as you used to be about catching fireflies. I keep trying to find my answer to life - and it gets more elusive the older I get.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“There should be a phone service that turns off your phone between midnight and six A.M. every night. And if you want to make a call, you have to pick up the phone and talk to an operator: Put me through to AAA. My car battery's dead. Yes, ma'am. Put me through to Pink Dot. I need vanilla Häagen-Dazs toute de suite! Yes, ma'am. Put me through to my ex-boyfriend... I'm sorry, ma'am, the operator would say. That would be a bad idea. Now you go to bed before you do anything stupid.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“Well, let's face it, you're not stupid. You knew there were a lot of things wrong in the relationship, you just chose to ignore them because there were so many good things you didn't want to give up. Now, you're at the point in your life where you're strong enough to give up the good stuff. You're strong enough to expect more from your life. I'm proud of you for that. Most women aren't that strong. They're so terrified of being alone that they stay with the wrong guy, rather than risk loneliness waiting for the right guy.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“I point at Drew, as I turn to Dawn. "See? My sister finds her soulmate, and not only does she get rewarded with love and happiness, she gets free champagne flutes, and dutch ovens, and fifty-dollar checks. And what do I get? What do I get on a day when I still haven't found anyone to love? When I'm waiting by the phone for some jerk to call me, and acting like a crazy woman, e-mailing him at three a.m., clutching at straws that I might ever find anyone? Do I get gifts? No! I get condemnation from my grandmother, and I get to wear a dress that makes me look like a baked potato.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“Love is constantly saying you're sorry, even when you know damn well you're right.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“If people could unfuck, they'd do it every day.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for a while.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“In vino veritas -- In wine there is truth.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“because my mother has never been out of bed before the”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“Emotionally, it's better to be homicidal than suicidal. When you're upset with a guy, at least know which way to point the gun.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup

“Women's lib does not mean imitating men's worst qualities just so we can lower ourselves and be equal to them.”
― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup