K.E. Blaski > K.E.'s Quotes

“So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookshelf on the wall.”
― Roald Dahl

“The smell slaps me sideways. Like when Mom grabs a container she forgot about from the back of the fridge and she says, “Here Mickey, smell this and see if it’s still good,” and I open it and take a whiff before noticing the fuzz. Like that.”
― Mick Bogerman, How to Navigate Zombie Cave and Defeat Pirate Pete

“Untuck your shirt, wipe, retuck. No one will see. Otherwise they’re gonna crust on your hand like wood glue.” This is Booger Training 101. Every two-year-old who doesn’t have a taste for them has to learn how to properly dispose of them.”
― Mick Bogerman, How to Rid Your Swimming Pool of a Bloodthirsty Mermaid

“I fidget through class, barely paying attention to Mrs. Schumaker droning on about wagon trains and buffalo. I get it. Life on the prairie was tough. Churning your own butter? Yay for the Industrial Revolution.”
― Mick Bogerman, How to Destroy the New Girl's Killer Robot Army