Scarlett Rue > Scarlett's Quotes

“Were you going to poke them with a stick?” Keelan growled. Hakeem looked uncertain. “Yes?” “When you find freaky shit in the scary woods, you don’t poke it with a stick. It can explode in your face. What do you do instead?” Hakeem clearly didn’t know the answer to that question. I almost felt sorry for him. He had just turned eighteen this year, and this was likely his first real outing. “You ask the Consort. The Consort knows everything.” “Oh,” Hakeem said. Keelan pivoted to me. “Consort, please tell us what this is.” “I have no idea.” Keelan blinked, his teaching moment temporarily derailed. He took a second to recover. “How do we proceed?” I held my hand out, and Hakeem surrendered his branch. “I’m going to poke it with a stick.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Claims

“I work alone. That's my natural setting. Second, I thought you were just a normal person who somehow knew about werewolves. I didn't have all the relevant information. Had I known you had a haunted house, a magic broom, and a devil dog on your side, my initial response would've been different.”
― Ilona Andrews, Clean Sweep

“I am afraid that Oompa Loompa Barry, didn't make it.” “What do you mean Barry didn't make it, he's an animatronic, Pip, not a fish you won at the carnival.” At this, I frowned as I held a finger up and said, “Okay, now that totally wasn’t my fault, Stevie was totally fine when I went to bed that night,” I argued. “Pip, you topped his bowl up with a bottle of vodka you thought was water… Stevie died three sheets to the wind that night and pissed as a fart.” Okay, so she had a point, I did do this.”
― Stephanie Hudson, Beast And The Imp

“We had stepped out of the cottage into this wall of humid heat, and Max had immediately announced, “I am not even remotely made for this.”
― Carissa Broadbent, Daughter of No Worlds

“Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his fun hut.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“He went to the lake again. He found some sort of magic freshwater clams in it. He’s very excited about it.” Conlan shrugged.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Claims

“When you’re a Vasiliev, you don’t enter the world with potential to be great, you are great. You’re better than great. You’re the fucking best. Because Father demands it. Brilliant. Cunning. Feral yet refined.”
― Ker Dukey, Vlad

“I take another drag on the cigarette, certain that they’re stolen, positive that they taste better because they were obtained with crafty fingers and tomfoolery.”
― C.M. Stunich, Anarchy at Prescott High

“Drinking is out of character for me, but the rebellious young woman inside me is screaming to be allowed to take over for a while. I like her. And once she’s out, it’s hard to stuff her back inside.”
― Ker Dukey, Vlad

“You don’t sin?” Søren sounded so skeptical she would have been insulted if he weren’t entirely right to be that skeptical. “No, I don’t try to not sin.” Søren closed his eyes and shook his head. “What?” she asked. He held up his hand, indicating his need for silence. “What?” she whispered. “Do you hear that?” She tilted her head and listened. “No. I don’t hear anything. Do you hear something?” she asked Søren. “I do.” “What?” “God laughing at me.”
― Tiffany Reisz, The Saint

“Do you hear that?” She tilted her head and listened. “No. I don’t hear anything. Do you hear something?” she asked Søren. “I do.” “What?” “God laughing at me.” Eleanor rested her chin on her hand. “You hear God laughing at you?” “Loudly. I’m quite surprised you can’t hear it.” “He’s laughing at you, not me,” she said.”
― Tiffany Reisz, The Saint

“Whenever I think I’ve explored every corner of you, I turn another corner and find a new wing.” “Says the Danish Catholic polyglot sadist priest. My weirdness has nothing on you.”
― Tiffany Reisz, The Queen

“I’m a writer. I do what God does in miniature every time I write a book. I create worlds and people out of nothing—ex nihilo—and I torture the fuck out of them for four hundred pages.” “Because you’re a sadist?” “Partly that. Plus...if I didn’t torture them it would be a real fucking short book. And trust me on this, King, there is no money in short stories.”
― Tiffany Reisz, The Queen

“You’ve solved the oldest theological conundrum of all time,” Kingsley said. “Why does God allow suffering? Because there’s no money in short stories.”
― Tiffany Reisz, The Queen

“Lovely locket. Where did you get that? Family heirloom?” “Actually, I ripped it off the neck of an evil dominatrix who Søren sold a lock of his hair to in order to buy me a computer. I gave it back to him, but then I stole it out of his pocket again after we’d fucked in the confessional at our church.” “That was my second guess.”
― Tiffany Reisz, The Queen

“House of Krahr!" the vampire with the banner barked quietly. "Krahr," the other four vampires exhaled and glared at me. Usually they roared their house name at the top of their lungs, trying to intimidate... Oh. They were trying to be inconspicuous. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. I'd never had an attempt at intimidation whispered at me before.”
― Ilona Andrews, Clean Sweep

“I was always a curious child," Arland said. "I took time to educate myself about the folklore of various places." "And?" Sean asked. The Marshal's eyes narrowed. "I'm made of neither sticks nor straw." "What does that mean?" "It means you should find yourself another house to blow on." Ha!”
― Ilona Andrews, Clean Sweep

“if anything at all happens in the neighborhood, you appear at my door. I bet if a meteorite fell somewhere in the subdivision, you would be here asking me if I personally launched it out of my doomsday cannon.”
― Ilona Andrews, Clean Sweep

“Good cat. You’re a big guy, huh. Did you escape from someone’s yard? People should have more sense than to own wild animals like that.” Officer Marais took a careful step back. Jack whipped about. His furry butt pointed at Officer Marais, his tail went up, and a jet of pressurized cat spray drenched Marais chest. Oh no.”
― Ilona Andrews, Sweep in Peace

“the rule of law is barely recognized there. It’s the place we send our criminals, exiles, and heretics.” My sister was stuck in eighteenth century vampire Australia.”
― Ilona Andrews, One Fell Sweep

“You’re up early, Your Grace.” “It’s a lovely day and we’re under siege. People are trying to murder us.” Her eyes shone with excitement. “Isn’t it marvelous?”
― Ilona Andrews, One Fell Sweep

“Should I be chosen, I shall commit fully to ensuring our children will be conceived in love and care…” Aha, and? “… and I shall raise them to smother their enemies before they have a chance to root.” There it is.”
― Ilona Andrews, Sweep of the Heart

“Horses had their advantages, but most of them spooked easily. I once rode Cuddles across a rickety bridge infested with magical snakes, and she stomped right over the hissing serpents like they weren’t even there and then pranced when we reached the solid ground.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Tides

“I could remember not being able to read, but I knew how to punch even in my earliest memories. I had over 3 decades of practice.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Tides

“I’ve seen her kill a dragon,” Keelan told him in a confidential tone. Thomas jerked, startled. “Oh, it was glorious.” The werewolf raised his hand, drawing a wide arc across the sky. “The world was smoke and fire. The dragon spat flames like a jet of napalm to and fro. People died where they stood, and their bodies turned to ash. And she ran up its head and thrust two swords into the dragon’s eyes while her husband tore out its throat.” Thank you, Keelan, for stabbing my last hope for anonymity through the heart. “You should talk less.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Tides

“Why did the kraken explode? I expected it to split, maybe to burst, but it detonated like it had swallowed a land mine, and then it rained kraken for about ten seconds.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Claims

“At some point in our lives together, keeping her lovely family from trying to murder her became a full-time job for me. They were powerful, homicidal psychopaths, and they didn’t half-ass it. When they came to kill her, they gave it their all.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Claims

“Yep. They came to negotiate.” “You haven’t lost your touch, clearly.” “That was all them. I didn’t do a thing. I talked to them a bit and then their negotiator self-destructed. Not voluntarily.” “I’ve negotiated with you before. That tracks.” “Ha. Ha.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Claims

“I’m curious, what are you picturing exactly?” Augustine asked. “A crisscrossing pattern of red laser beams and ferrets in harnesses slithering through it like ninjas?”
― Ilona Andrews, White Hot

“You want to send in harnessed ferrets through a laundry vent?” Augustine clearly had difficulty coming to terms with that idea. “Yes,” Cornelius said. I blinked. “Wouldn’t the vent be secured by an alarm?” The three of them looked at me as if I’d suddenly sprouted a second head. “It doesn’t make sense to secure a laundry vent,” Rogan explained. “It’s too small and it opens into a dryer.”
― Ilona Andrews, White Hot